Death of a parent

[JC75 0]

I know this isn't exactly a topic to be expected on this forum, I'm not on any others so I was wondering if there is anyone here who has lost a parent?

My Mother passed away and its the anniversary of her death on the 14th....I'm feeling pretty bad this week and the k1 process wait isn't exactly helping, neither is beign away from my guy...not to mention 2 murders in my neighborhood and the weirdo guy outside my window last night

My sister doesn't live in Melbourne anymore so I'm pretty much on my own here atm.

How do you cope with the death of a parent? I mean does this ever get better?

Edited July 11, 2006 by JC75

[ChristinaM 0]

I have not lost a parent, so I can't even begin to empathise with you.

I wish you hope for this week and for the future though, and I can only assume that as with everything, it will ease with time.

As many wise people have said, don't cry what what is lost, rather smile for what you had.

[Ban Hammer 14,234]

I know this isn't exactly a topic to be expected on this forum, I'm not on any others so I was wondering if there is anyone here who has lost a parent?

My Mother passed away and its the anniversary of her death on the 14th....I'm feeling pretty bad this week and the k1 process wait isn't exactly helping, neither is beign away from my guy...not to mention 2 murders in my neighborhood and the weirdo guy outside my window last night

My sister doesn't live in Melbourne anymore so I'm pretty much on my own here atm.

How do you cope with the death of a parent? I mean does this ever get better?

my mother passed away a year and a half ago. eventually it does get better, i suppose, just not gotten there myself. all my best

[MaryandMian 1]

First off let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my mom when I was 19 and my dad when I was 23. It has been many years and I can say it does get easier with time. I personally have my moments even after all these years and just try and cope with it as it pops up. I try and remember the good times and know that they both are not suffering anymore now that they are not here. Both of my parents had terminal cancer and were in constant pain for their limited time once they were diagnosed.

I am religious and do pray and this does comfort me. May you find an inner peace and do know that in time it does get easier to cope with the loss.

Mary

[raymaga 25]

I lost my Mom a little more than a year ago, and I do understand what you are saying.

I miss her terribly, and special occasions like her birthday, my birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving are really hard still. I think only time is going to make it easier.

Whenever I am feeling a little down about her being gone now, I try to think of some of the really good and happy times we had together during my life and sometimes it even makes me chuckle out loud.

I don't think I will ever completely "recover" from the loss of my Mom, but I hold onto my memories and try to cherish the time we had together.

Best wishes to you..... time will heal the hurt a little more every year.

[scumpi 0]

I am sorry for the loss of somebody you love.

Tho you need to take care of yourself right now.Can`t you have anybody to spend a few nights with you?And maybe you could call the police tell them about the weird guy that showed up at your window?

[jen&darcy 0]

I lost my dad 10 years ago. It has been very hard for me to deal with. It does get easier but there are still those moments and days that are very sad for me. Sometimes I come across things that he used to do or say that brings back the memories.

I still have the haunting that I will probably always have with me and that is I found him when he died. I was to be with him the morning he died but I decided putting up my xmas tree was more important. (He died the day after Thanksgiving) I called and left him a message not knowing at that time he was already dead on the floor. I carry that guilt to this day that I wasn't with him when he died. Although the paramedics told me it wouldn't have mattered if I was standing right there because he had a massive heart attack. It will be a guilt that I will carry with me until the day I die.

Remember you always have friends here to listen.

[JC75 0]

I lost my dad 10 years ago. It has been very hard for me to deal with. It does get easier but there are still those moments and days that are very sad for me. Sometimes I come across things that he used to do or say that brings back the memories.

I still have the haunting that I will probably always have with me and that is I found him when he died. I was to be with him the morning he died but I decided putting up my xmas tree was more important. (He died the day after Thanksgiving) I called and left him a message not knowing at that time he was already dead on the floor. I carry that guilt to this day that I wasn't with him when he died. Although the paramedics told me it wouldn't have mattered if I was standing right there because he had a massive heart attack. It will be a guilt that I will carry with me until the day I die.

Remember you always have friends here to listen.

OH sweety my heart breaks for you!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scumpi - My family and I aren't close, actually we are all pretty estranged I don't have anyone here I could ask...you are so sweet

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

clmarsh,charlesandnessa,mianishqsrose & raymaga

Thank you for your kind words

I am sorry for the loss of somebody you love.

Tho you need to take care of yourself right now.Can`t you have anybody to spend a few nights with you?And maybe you could call the police tell them about the weird guy that showed up at your window?

This happens all the time in Melbourne...The police don't really do much until you are held at gunpoint...or worse, they aren't the quickest in teh world to show up.

There is a shelter nearby for drug addicts and rehab'd men. So I would say he was on his way there...our doorman said this happens every now and again...creepy!

hugs hun!

[scumpi 0]

Hugs to you babe...at least this is all I can do from here...I DO hope you get your visa soon

[YnaYeBa0808 0]

jc like everyone else i am truly sorry for your loss. i lost my mom three years ago, a week after mother's day... it was the worst feeling and experience ever. she was in another country and i had to take the first available 16 hour flight home to see her. i saw her sunday and she passed on monday. sometimes, it's a really sad and painful feeling even just to remember her and see things that associate to her. i dont try to avoid it. as much as it hurts, i guess im a pretty sentimental person and i hold my memories of her always in my heart. there's going to be good days when you talk about your mom and find yourself smiling, happy memories. and there are going to be days when you talk about the same thing and just miss her badly. it's natural, dont drown those feelings. just let it flow.

i dont know if people do this, but i use it as my therapy... whenever i miss my mom, i write her letters... i cry my eyes out everytime but it's like my way of talking to her. afterwards, i either keep the letter or burn it, just like i would with my letters to God....

Huggs. i hope you do feel better. it will get better for sure. im sure she is proud of you and as my fiance would always say, your mom is in a better place now.

Edited July 11, 2006 by YnaYeBa0808

[JC75 0]

Hugs to you babe...at least this is all I can do from here...I DO hope you get your visa soon

thanks hun! hugs!

jc like everyone else i am truly sorry for your loss. i lost my mom three years ago, a week after mother's day... it was the worst feeling and experience ever. she was in another country and i had to take the first available 16 hour flight home to see her. i saw her sunday and she passed on monday. sometimes, it's a really sad and painful feeling even just to remember her and see things that associate to her. i dont try to avoid it. as much as it hurts, i guess im a pretty sentimental person and i hold my memories of her always in my heart. there's going to be good days when you talk about your mom and find yourself smiling, happy memories. and there are going to be days when you talk about the same thing and just miss her badly. it's natural, dont drown those feelings. just let it flow.

i dont know if people do this, but i use it as my therapy... whenever i miss my mom, i write her letters... i cry my eyes out everytime but it's like my way of talking to her. afterwards, i either keep the letter or burn it, just like i would with my letters to God....

Huggs. i hope you do feel better. it will get better for sure. im sure she is proud of you and as my fiance would always say, your mom is in a better place now.

I wrote her one for the first time the other day! its so weird you would say that...I cried the whole time...I'm curious about burning it? why? I have never heard of writing letters to God.... what do you do?

hugs your post like all of the ones here means so much to me

[Ban Hammer 14,234]

also, regarding strange people about. any chance you can get a dog?

[YnaYeBa0808 0]

JC i did it as long as i can remember... my letters to God, that is. My gradeschool teacher taught us that if there was a special prayer that we held deeply in our hearts, anything that we wanted god to know (not that he doesnt already)secrets, pain, something bothering us, a special prayer, just about anything that you can think of, you write a letter to god. After you write your letter, you burn it, the smoke would come up and the winds carry the ashes in the sky. so in a way it will reach god in heaven. thats the way i remember her explaining it. it helps... i guess you really dont have to burn them but as a kid i was like, God can read my letters... talk about AIR MAIL.... i still do it every now and then, so far i have managed not to burn anything else except my letters to god and mom.

Edited July 11, 2006 by YnaYeBa0808

[JC75 0]

also, regarding strange people about. any chance you can get a dog?

I have 2, well we have 2 they are in the US with my fiance, we had them sent over in December as I couldn't leave them at home when I was over there and thats where they are now......I miss them like crazy!

JC i did it as long as i can remember... my letters to God, that is. My gradeschool teacher taught us that if there was a special prayer that we held deeply in our hearts, anything that we wanted god to know (not that he doesnt already)secrets, pain, something bothering us, a special prayer, just about anything that you can think of, you write a letter to god. After you write your letter, you burn it, the smoke would come up and the winds carry the ashes in the sky. so in a way it will reach god in heaven. thats the way i remember her explaining it. it helps... i guess you really dont have to burn them but as a kid i was like, God can read my letters... talk about AIR MAIL.... i still do it every now and then, so far i have managed not to burn anything else except my letters to god and mom.

I love that! I'm gonna try it now.....thanks! its a great idea!!!!!!

hugs hun!

[Ban Hammer 14,234]

also, regarding strange people about. any chance you can get a dog?

I have 2, well we have 2 they are in the US with my fiance, we had them sent over in December as I couldn't leave them at home when I was over there and thats where they are now......I miss them like crazy!

maybe you should dog sit for someone who's on vacation