Anybody else out there homesick??????????

[MarieAnastasia 0]

Is there anybody else as homesick as I am??!! I miss my Dad, daughters, and grandkids and friends so much that I'm sure there's got to be a physical crack in my heart!!! I love my husband to the ends of the earth and he feels so helpless.

This is a very small 'clickish' town (if you're an outsider, you're on your own!!) There is nowhere to go to meet people. They just had a 'town' day with parade and all and I was so excited about the day arriving that it was a big let down!!! My husband introduced me to people and all I got was a hello (and he's lived there all his life). The men before the wives showed up asked me general questions about my home and the immigration process, etc but once their spouses showed up it was like 'oops, can't talk to her!!' The only word that I can describe them is 'clickish' (for lack of a better word!!!)

I come from a very friendly enviroment. My husband's first visit there was the total opposite of what I endured!! I have a large circle of friends at home and my friends have jokingly called me a 'social butterfly' because I was involved so much and didn't have enough hours in the day....and here I have nobody but my husband (that's not a bad thing but he's at work a lot and it would be nice to have somebody to chat with!!)

I'm not asking for a lot just a genuine friendly face (not a 'smiling cobra')

Anybody else encounter this?? And believe me when I tell you there is nothing to do or nowhere to meet people. There is a general store here and that's 5 miles away!! I'd love to volunteer at something or better yet...work........ but right now 'even' if this was available to me, I can't because we don't have a second vehicle so I'm grounded!! This is a total culture shock for me and I'm ony an hour and a half from my beautiful country of CANADA!!!! (and I'm trying desperately to get Advance Parole so I can go home for a visit........I have an INFOPASS appt. on Monday). Wish me luck!!!

WWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I wanna go home and take my hubby with me.

Would love to hear some feedback. Thanks for listening to my belly aching ....{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[Nearly Done 8]

Hi

I am sorry your feeling so lost and homesick, I totally understand though. I have been here almost 2 years and came from the city and was used to being a busy bee!!! I had lots of friends close by and a big family.

I adore John and it IS beautiful where we live and sometimes I feel bad when I say to him "it feels like I have come into a retirement home"

I was so NOT used to feeling alone and I hated having to rely on John for all my entertainment (well sort of hahaha) and I had times when I picked on him

I have settled in much better now, but I don't feel like I fit in here. I have a couple of friends met through John's friends at work,THE wifes!!! and they are nice. I just miss having things in common if you get me.

I kept myself very busy and redecorated the whole house and I have a little part time job, but I am still moaning hahahah

All I can say is that I understand

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Well, I am the USC, so I haven't walked in your shoes. Just wanted to wish you luck in the transition and with your advance parole. The good news is you're from Canada - which is relatively easy to get to and you don't have to sell a kidney for the plane ticket. Good Luck and I really home the town folk warm up as you reach out to them.

[Mandi+Ryan 0]

Would this count as homesick? I came home, to the US after spending 2 months with my fiancé in India, and I want to go back. I loved it there. I didn't want to come home. Not only because of my fiancé, but because I wanted to be there instead of in the states.

[Alex+R 0]

Hi MarieA,

I am the USC but I lived for a year with my fiance in his city (Sao Paulo) which I really didn't like. I felt a bit like you do. Although people there were friendly, it was hard to make strong bonds with his friends or many other people because of the language barrier, and it was hard to see the friends I had made on my own too. I'm also the social butterfly type so I felt a bit lonely.

For me, the solution was to move back to the US, but I'm moving to New York in September so he can have the kind of busy life he likes (and I like, to be honest) so is there any chance your fiance would ever consider moving for you? To a nearby city?

Also, does he have children too? It must be so difficult to be away from your daughters! Is there any way he might ever consider Canada in the future?

Also, in the meantime, I know things will improve. Trust me, the social network of a cliquey small town can be penetrated, it just takes a bit longer than you might expect!

[wherezdabearz 0]

Sorry to hear that you're feeling so homesick. I think it takes time to settle into such a major change in your life and I can see that it doesn;t help when people are not especially friendly. I had a similar experience some years ago on moving to Italy.

Maybe the locals need to get used to having you around, showing up at things and generally becoming a more familiar face. It's unfortunate and unfair that you may be the one who has to do most of the work but that may be a reality. They already have a social circle and may not feel that they need new friends. You do.

I'm sure things will get better, but I hope that you get AP soon so that you can take a break and spend some time where you feel more comfortable. When you come back you'll be in a stronger place to face these new challenges.

All the best

Alison

[Euro 3]

oooOOOooH i know exactly how your feeling..................I so miss being able to pop round to a friend for coffee & a chat!!, infact i miss EVERYTHING!!!

its slowly getting worse too, specialy since i wasnt able to take flowers for my sons birthday on the 24th june, i did buy him some here, i even wrot the card........

"Daniel a little flower lent,not given, to bud on earth & blossom in heaven"

" Love ya Fifty Quid"

it just didnt feel the same

to be honest all it would take right now for me to go back to England would be summat as small as the milkman/postman heck even the bloke from the corner shop, to say to me....."COME HOME,WE MISS YOU"!

funny thing is Mark has no idea, i didnt tell him, so when i'm "GRUMPY" he thinks it must be "That time of the month" typical man thing to say

anyway i'll hangin here, things as they say.........can only get better! .here's hopeing

[Not Available 0]

Oh i am too!

This week is the week i would go to Quebec and do a sunday school camp. I've been doing it for like, ever. And this year i couldnt do it because of stupid immigration. I have been balling my eyes out since saturday. I loved the camp, and the kids, instead i am stuck sitting around here. This whole not being able to visit back home is a load of #######.

[gimygirl 0]

funny thing is Mark has no idea, i didnt tell him, so when i'm "GRUMPY" he thinks it must be "That time of the month" typical man thing to say

why don't you share this with him?? maybe he can help during your 'grumpy' moments ...

[Euro 3]

funny thing is Mark has no idea, i didnt tell him, so when i'm "GRUMPY" he thinks it must be "That time of the month" typical man thing to say

why don't you share this with him?? maybe he can help during your 'grumpy' moments ...

I did once....his reply was.."oh it'll be all right" .this was the first bout of home sickness, so dont share any more!!

Edited July 9, 2006 by Euro

[Peggy 1]

Sorry your feeling this way.

All you can do is give it some time.

I have been here 13 months now, and things are better.

Once you can work and make some friends things will get better.

I sat at home everyday while I couldnt work, just wishing that I could meet a nice friend. I think all girls need to find a new friend when they move. I have been working now since the end of March and have made some really nice friends at my new job. One women I work with has become a really close friend to me. We talk at work everyday, and we go to her house on the weekends to swim, grill out and have drinks. It really has made a big difference in the way I feel about living here. So I know the feeling of not fitting in. Now things are great here, which I am so happy about.

So you just have to hang in there. Give yourself time to get the feel of your surroundings. Things will fall into place for you soon. Just remember how lonely you were when you were at home and your SO was in the USA. Good things come to those who wait. We all waited to be here with our SO, now its just a matter of time before you will feel like it is home.

HUGS.................

[chocolaterie 0]

i feel your pain... i'm going on over 2 1/2 years since seeing my hometown. Just remember every day brings you closer to the day that you get to visit them.

[gimygirl 0]

... instead i am stuck sitting around here.

i think you need to reevaluate your priorities ... you came here to be with keith.

sometimes, i think many members lose sight of the reason that they moved to america ... it was the person that you couldn't live without. i relocated 3 years ago from everything and everyone i knew ... the more that you dwell of the negative, the more you are just going to drag yourself down ... mentally, emotionally and physically. why do that to yourself?

sorry that mark isn't more supportive for you, amanda!

[MarieAnastasia 0]

Thanks, just reading comments helps alleviate the pressure. As least it's someone to vent to other than family and friends (who I don't want to upset by them knowing how desperate I am!) They were all worried that I might run into this wall.........and they do know to a certain extent!! I talk to them EVERY day (yes, we have the US to Canada package ) But they really don't know how bad it is and how alone I feel!!! We live in the middle of nowhere on 38 acres.........I can't see a road, totally surrounded by trees (a complete circle). I told my husband that I feel like I'm camping all by myself which is pretty pathetic!! We will be getting a second car (in the process of looking) but for now I feel like a prisoner (and the term Advance Parole aptly applies ) I can't go for a walk (bears, coyotes etc) We're so far in the woods we have to come out to hunt!!

I am totally dependent on my husband and I don't like that feeling. I've been divorced from my ex for almost 14 years, raised my kids myself (even when I was married!!) so it's really tough having to depend solely on another human being. And I don't like the thought that my dependency has been taken away (albeit temporairly but this is what I'm feeling at the moment!)

We are in our early 50's, yes, he has children.........one is away at college and the other lives with his mother (older teen) and we see him every weekend but just comes in, eats, goes out with his friends, sleeps in all day and repeat til he goes back to his mother. He has a brother and sister in law who live their own life...........I have even invited them to supper but they hang out solely with each other and have no regard or desire to have anybody else hang out with them (I could use a 'finger' symbol here

Hubby has a good job here so we can't move. He would live in my hometown in a heartbeat. The people love him and I've drawn him into my wide circle of friends and friends (he is a shy man, therefore, the reason he doesn't hang out with anybody here)

My hubby does know how I feel because I have no body else to talk to and even though he feels helpless, he really can't imagine what I'm going through. He didn't sugar coat anything and he did warn me about the people around here and I can honestly I came in with both eyes open but I guess I thought it would be rectified by now. And I would be lying if I said that this wasn't affecting our marriage. I love this man with my heart and soul but I don't know if I can survive in this enviroment!! We've talked about moving back to Canada when he retires (but that's not for another 11 years!!!) I'll be a bitter old woman by then feeling the way I feel now. Bitching and complaing about anything and everything. I don't like who I've become. And there are days I don't know who this person is that's staring out of the mirror. And if I don't like me how do you think hubby feels!!

Summer in my hometown there is so much to do with festivals and people home for the holidays. I'm missing my high school reunion the end of July.......this is our 35th (yup I'm an oldie but a goodie ) and this is our 6th reunion we've had since high school....we started at the 10th and every 5 years we have one. We know 5 years in advance when the next one will be!!! As we speak, there's a party going on at my friends' mother's 80th birthday and I missed a big bash last night for a friend's 50th!! So I'm feeling pretty homesick for all these get togethers.

And in my hometown people have a sense of humour, but here if I crack a joke at the grocery store with the clerk he/she looks at me like I have 10 heads. Anywhere I go at home I know somebody. One of the girls I worked with at the bank said "If Joan don't know you, then you don't exist!!" Of course meaning there were few people I didn't know or at least knew somebody in their family.

Sorry for sounding like a raving lunatic but this helps just reading comments and typing my feelings. Thanks again for listening and please keep talking. I'm desperate for human contact without upsetting anybody (family/friends)......................{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Sinergy 3]

... instead i am stuck sitting around here.

i think you need to reevaluate your priorities ... you came here to be with keith.

sometimes, i think many members lose sight of the reason that they moved to america ... it was the person that you couldn't live without. i relocated 3 years ago from everything and everyone i knew ... the more that you dwell of the negative, the more you are just going to drag yourself down ... mentally, emotionally and physically. why do that to yourself?

sorry that mark isn't more supportive for you, amanda!

I have to agree with Gimy on this one. I know how it is to be homesick, i lived in Romania with my hubby for over a year, and it was hard not seeing family and friends. But the reason i was there was to be with Ed, and everytime i thought of home and peeps there and wanting to cry i felt guilty, because i made the choise to move there in the first place. Its ok to be homesick, but yes, remember why your having the emotions in the first place, and realise its all worth it.

As far as the Marie's words, girl, women in general can be that way to a new person (woman). Its a territorial thing i think. When a new female arrives, its all women who have been there forever tend to show their fangs and be b**chy! Dont worry they will come around, and well, its ok to stick your nose up a bit too. good luck, dont worry things will get better. Hugs, Tara

Edited July 9, 2006 by Ionescu