is good to marry within the first time we meet?

[SaadBell 0]

i want to know if she takes a lawyer there to pursue and support our case is that will be useful and guaranted or no,coz i dnt wnat her to loose her money on nothing guaranted with the lawyer.

Is she going to pay for the lawyer herself, why not you hire a lawyer or at least the money for one. I am old school where men pay and women don't but that is just my two cents. Will you be buying her plane tickets?

[Dakine 26]

I think that is a bad idea.

First of all I hear that K3 visas take WAAAAAYYYYY Longer than K1 visas.

When I went to Morocco to visit my husband (fiance at the time) we had an engagement party and I got to know him and his family better. Then we applied for the K1 visa and it took about 9 months from beginning to end.

I heard the K3 visa takes YEARS!

I mean think about it.... what good is a marriage if you can't be together? I would just wait.

I heard the K3 visa takes YEARS!

YOU HEARD WRONG. Almost the same as a K1. CR-1 is BETTER than both.

[justashooter 430]

is it normal within your culture for a 23 year old man to marry a woman who is 11 years older?

you could wind up married and denied, if you don't spend a lot of time together. some CO will look at your situation as green card motivated. i understand that the green card is part of the motivation for you, and accept that, but a CO will not.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Marriage within the first time of meeting may be a red-flag issue. It depends on how long you have known each other.

I saw a case a few months ago where a person divorced in the USA (Feb 08) and met someone online (May 08) Visited (Aug 08) Married a week or so after in (Sep 08), filed petition (Sep 08), and were DENIED a visa in Feb 09.

On the flip side of that, I just saw someone go through with a pretty similar timeline.

Divorced(USC) for 2 months, met and married within a month, then filed a month after that and had the visa in hand within 6 months from filing.

depends on the CO and consulate I guess. oh ya, and luck

Edited April 21, 2009 by Y's_habibitk

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Marriage within the first time of meeting may be a red-flag issue. It depends on how long you have known each other.

I saw a case a few months ago where a person divorced in the USA (Feb 08) and met someone online (May 08) Visited (Aug 08) Married a week or so after in (Sep 08), filed petition (Sep 08), and were DENIED a visa in Feb 09.

On the flip side of that, I just saw someone go through with a pretty similar timeline.

Divorced(USC) for 2 months, met and married within a month, then filed a month after that and had the visa in hand within 6 months from filing.

depends on the CO and consulate I guess. oh ya, and luck

You truly never know how things will go with this process! As in your words Lisa, its a ####### shoot. LOL

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Marriage within the first time of meeting may be a red-flag issue. It depends on how long you have known each other.

I saw a case a few months ago where a person divorced in the USA (Feb 08) and met someone online (May 08) Visited (Aug 08) Married a week or so after in (Sep 08), filed petition (Sep 08), and were DENIED a visa in Feb 09.

On the flip side of that, I just saw someone go through with a pretty similar timeline.

Divorced(USC) for 2 months, met and married within a month, then filed a month after that and had the visa in hand within 6 months from filing.

depends on the CO and consulate I guess. oh ya, and luck

You truly never know how things will go with this process! As in your words Lisa, its a ####### shoot. LOL

Roll the dice!!

[GiGii 4]

i want to know if she takes a lawyer there to pursue and support our case is that will be useful and guaranted or no,coz i dnt wnat her to loose her money on nothing guaranted with the lawyer.

Is she going to pay for the lawyer herself, why not you hire a lawyer or at least the money for one. I am old school where men pay and women don't but that is just my two cents. Will you be buying her plane tickets?

I second that. In a culture where the man is all powerful, this is the least the OP should do.

Also, how do you plan a wedding, and even get to talking about marriage without ever seeing someone. I think it definitely puts doubt into the COs head.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I will probably get blasted from all of the K1 filers out there but I mean no offense, just a question to the OP...

Would you consider living with and subsequently having "relations" with a local girl for 2 weeks without being married to her?

Would that be accepted by your family, or hers?

This is what you should be asking yourself IMHO. Do what you think is right.

Does it look good to have married days after arrival and meeting? Some CO's dont think so, but like I said in your other post.. most understand that it is the socially acceptable option. I would worry about a short courtship, not marrying on the first visit.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

is it normal within your culture for a 23 year old man to marry a woman who is 11 years older?

you could wind up married and denied, if you don't spend a lot of time together. some CO will look at your situation as green card motivated. i understand that the green card is part of the motivation for you, and accept that, but a CO will not.

I suggested in the same posting in another thread to him, have her come see him for vacation, visit, take pictures, Get to know each other, then she returns to USA and file for a K1 visa if they still want a life together. This atleasts takes down one red flag with C.O.

[Ihavequestions 419]

I normally try to stay out of this stuff, but isn't this the guy who doesn't have enough time to plan a wedding party between now and October, complete with friends and family, but seems to have time to worry about a visa?

Maybe I'm just b!tchy today.

[KimandRuss 0]

topic moved from K3 to regionals as the answer really is regional specific. multiple topics merged.

[Berber Mama 5]

I normally try to stay out of this stuff, but isn't this the guy who doesn't have enough time to plan a wedding party between now and October, complete with friends and family, but seems to have time to worry about a visa?

Maybe I'm just b!tchy today.

Good catch. The last thing that was on our minds when we were getting married was the paperwork. Oh well, maybe I'm just

b!tchy today too.

Edited April 21, 2009 by Berber Mama

[Y's_habibitk 2]

topic moved from K3 to regionals as the answer really is regional specific. multiple topics merged.

Thanks, I was getting confused as which one I was typing in

[Sofiyya 1,687]

is it normal within your culture for a 23 year old man to marry a woman who is 11 years older?

you could wind up married and denied, if you don't spend a lot of time together. some CO will look at your situation as green card motivated. i understand that the green card is part of the motivation for you, and accept that, but a CO will not.

I'm 21 years older than my hubby, who was in his 20's when we met. "normal" or not, he got his visa the day after his interview at a high fraud consulate. Age doesn't seem to be an inhibitor for most of the OW/YM MENA couples. There are many of us here who were successful.

[venusfire503 54]

I will probably get blasted from all of the K1 filers out there but I mean no offense, just a question to the OP...

Would you consider living with and subsequently having "relations" with a local girl for 2 weeks without being married to her?

Would that be accepted by your family, or hers?

This is what you should be asking yourself IMHO. Do what you think is right.

Does it look good to have married days after arrival and meeting? Some CO's dont think so, but like I said in your other post.. most understand that it is the socially acceptable option. I would worry about a short courtship, not marrying on the first visit.

Before reading anything I've written, please understand that I'm not agreeing/arguing with or siding for/against anyone or anything. I'm just telling what I understand from the way it has been presented to me.

First of all, we're assuming that he's planning on having "relations" with her. It might be a good assumption, but then again, maybe we're wrong about that.

Um, I can't really give a good explanation for this, but the way it was explained to me is there are different rules for "local" (Moroccan) and "American" women. Kind of like a double standard. I guess it's because everyone there assumes that women in America aren't virgins anyway. Also, many American women who go over there (applied to me) were already married and/or had children. Not saying I agree with this logic (or even like it), but that's the way I heard it is. Also, if the American woman isn't Muslim, I think that adds to the 'logic'.

I was also told that it's very common to have very short 'courtships' over there. Most couples quickly make the decision on whether or not to marry, probably in part because of the taboo against premarital sex. Unlike here, they don't bother with years of dating. Either get engaged and married, or move on.

I agree with what others said - it depends on so many things, such as how long you've known each other, etc. For one thing, is she recently divorced? Is she Muslim? If she comes from a background where short engagements are not unusual, it might make a difference. It's best to look at ALL of the different parts of the relationship.

Now, on to my advice. I would recommend waiting for a marriage. First of all, do you want to take the chance that you will be one of the lucky ones who get approved? I know it's hard to be apart, but I imagine it's even more difficult if you're married. Also, it's hard enough to get a visa through Casa... why make it harder?

And not to be a cynic, but... what if the process takes several years? Is a marriage that new going to last through all of that? A break up is much easier than a divorce.

On the other hand... If the relationship is meant to be, it can last while you wait to get married. You can always make the decision to get married later.

Only you can ultimately decide what is best for you, though. You might get married, and get lucky - no problems with the visa. You might decide to wait on marriage and do the K-1, and have a long wait, too. You never know. Just from what I've heard though, it seems the best chances for a faster, less complicated way to get here is with the K-1.

For what it's worth, we decided on the K-1. It took less than 3 months. I had just finally finished my divorce and sent the package as soon as I received my divorce decree. We also had different backgrounds, an 11 year age difference (I'm older), and hadn't known each other very long. I wouldn't say we had the 'best' situation for the best chances, but it worked for us. The only thing that might have made our case 'better' would have been to wait.

No matter what you do, listen to your heart. Be open and honest with each other. If you are at all religious, PRAY.

I hope my post was more helpful than confusing.

Best of luck!

venusfire