Question about length of courtship affecting CO decision

[NgocThuan 0]

Hi, I'm new to this forum. VJ is a wonderful site and very informative. My cousin introduced me to my fiance, who happens to be her best friend, back in september. I emailed her the first time in September of 08 and she didn't reply until early November because she did not notice my email until my cousin asked her why she never replied. We emailed each other a few times and then began IM each other with webcam and chat everyday for about 3 to 5 hours. We talked about everything and shared our deepest feelings; we fell in love. My mother was planning a trip to vietnam to visit relatives and wanted me to come also; I haven't been to Vietnam since I left there as a child 35 years ago. So I decided to propose to her when I got to Vietnam. I got there on a Monday and proposed on Friday. We had an engagement party the week after on January 14th. My question is since I only have known her for a couple of months before getting engaged, will this be a red flag to the CO when it comes time for her interview. Also will being introduced by my relative be a red flag also. I'm just worried because I know this will be a long process since I just submitted the I129f a few weeks ago. Sorry about the long post. I have so many other questions, but I'll save them for another post. Thanks in advance for any help.

[TBoneTX 47,535]

My question is since I only have known her for a couple of months before getting engaged, will this be a red flag to the CO when it comes time for her interview.

Welcome to VJ, and thank you for your refreshingly literate (and germane) questions! I can't comment on your second question, regarding having been introduced by your relative, but here are some thoughts on the first one. If my experience is any guide, the length of your courtship will indeed be a red flag to the CO, and perhaps a flaming one. I recommend the following:

1. Do not believe ANY respondent here who says anything to the effect of "my fiancee's interview was a breeze, so yours will be, too." Besides the reality that no one can flatly claim that their experience will automatically be yours, most of these people will have interacted with "easy" or low-fraud-area consulates. Good for them, but beware! If you take one thing from this post of mine, please recognize that you should treat your situation with consummate seriousness.

2. Immediately begin recovering, downloading, and organizing every one of your past IM and chat records. Print individual e-mails/sessions as much as you can, preferably ALL of them. Continue doing this from now on. Feel free to black out overly personal sections with a marker. Save all of these printouts for the eventual consular interview. You may not need ALL of them, but HAVE them, either for what may be your one-&-only (successful) interview or for 221(g) requirements afterwards. If you telephone her, capture those records also; if you use methods that don't leave records, rectify that, beginning now. Sometimes we have to make financial sacrifices in order to provide a CO with evidence adequate to satisfy him.

3. By any means available (begging, borrowing, or spending), make at least one more trip to Vietnam between now and (ideally) the projected time when USCIS may rule on your I-129F. Save your primary evidence of ticket stubs, luggage receipts, etc. Compile copious photographs, shared receipts of expenses, and similar evidence of the two of you together in different locales, situations, and clothing. Save your credit-card receipts from those times and places.

4. Be there for your fiancee's interview. If you are not allowed in the interview itself, be on the consular premises. To the security guards and other front-line personnel, I would personally insist on accompanying your fiancee to at least the first interaction, which could be the turning-in of your "relationship evidence" to a Foreign Service National, or FSN (a native Vietnamese who works for the consulate). You must ensure that evidence brought is evidence accepted, acknowledged, and recognized. Make 100% certain that the actual CO knows that you are present; if you are not allowed in the interview itself, one way is to hand your U.S. passport to your fiancee to show to the CO. Make sure that she tells him, first thing, that you are eager to join in the interview.

5. My then-fiancee and I had also had a short courtship and one visit, although there was much more than that by the time the interview finally occurred. In our instance, my fiancee was kicked out of her interview after perhaps 3 minutes, and my U.S.-citizen hind end was ordered down to Ecuador for a "joint" "marriage" interview, which turned out to be a Stokes interrogation... and not even with an American. I firmly and truthfully told the FSN that yes, we got engaged on my first visit, and NO, it was NOT foregone at ALL: my fiancee suspected that an engagement might be in the cards, but she did not know for sure. I had a diamond ring in my pocket, and she was going to get it only IF everything was right "in person" and there were no red flags in MY mind -- because excellent relationships can be developed by e-mail and phone, but only in person can many things be learned, perceived, and confirmed. I also truthfully stated that I had to visit THREE jewelry stores before I found one that would agree to refund my purchase if I returned without having bestowed the ring. (Had I felt that further explanation was needed, I also could have truthfully stated that I stayed single for 19 years because my own bullbleep detector regarding phony, money-grubbing, or otherwise insincere women was several magnitudes stronger than that of all of their COs put together, and that had I perceived ANY such behavior in my fiancee, I would have gone home and forgotten about her.) If any of the foregoing applies to you, consider stating it, ideally at her FIRST INTERVIEW which YOU ATTEND, or at least as part of the 221(g) aftermath. The key is not to lie to the CO in any way. My story had the ring of truth, and the FSN knew it.

Other VJ members will certainly chime in. Please attend to any detailed, thoughtful feedback from others who have interviewed at YOUR consulate, and to a certain excellent member who himself went through China, but who has exceptional knowledge and recommendations about dealing with high-fraud-location consulates. (Note: I don't know who may have responded between the time when I saw your initially unresponded-to message and the time it took to compose this reply.) Again, thank you for your focused questions -- you sound like someone who is intelligent and thoughtful enough to survive this often-infernal immigration process and to overcome whatever red flags may fly.

[NgocThuan 0]

Thank you very much for your response TBoneTX. It was most informative. I did purchase an engagement ring prior to my trip to Vietnam and like you was planning to return with the ring if it wasn't the real deal. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman and more. Now it's the waiting game, but thanks for your advice; I will start establishing and collecting more evidence for the interview. I don't think they will let me go to the interview with her in Vietnam but I will try what you suggested about handing her my passport and making my presence known to the CO. As far as making another trip there, I was going to wait for the interview date and return a few days prior. Do you think I should go before the K1 petition is approved by USCIS or wait and make a trip right before the interview?

[July09Bride 1]

Just so you know... it is my understanding that a US Consulate/Embassy can not turn away a USC from its doors. Now, they might only be open between 1 & 3 in the afternoon, but you should be allowed into the Consulate/Embassy when she goes for her interview.

Good luck!

[TBoneTX 47,535]

Do you think I should go before the K1 petition is approved by USCIS

Absolutely!

and make a trip right before the interview?

That, too! Go several days before, take a mini-vacation with her (capturing more photos, receipts, etc.), and take that evidence to the consulate along with the earlier material that you have already compiled. Also, July09Bride is correct that no U.S. consulate can deny entry to a U.S. citizen -- the consulate is U.S. soil (and paid for by our tax dollars, lest we forget). You may not be allowed into the actual interview, but you are certainly entitled to be on the premises -- in at least the waiting-area of the Immigrant Visa Unit where your fiancee would be interviewed. If I'm interpreting July09Bride's post correctly, her reference to operating hours might apply to the U.S. Citizen Service unit's open-door times, when U.S. citizens who have a problem (lost passport, need to report something, etc.) can be seen by someone in person -- a difference from your situation.

[NgocThuan 0]

Thanks July09Bride. I definitely want to be there with her.

[NgocThuan 0]

Yes. That's a good idea TBoneTX. I could help prepare her for the interview questions as well. Thanks again.

[pushbrk 13,625]

Hi, I'm new to this forum. VJ is a wonderful site and very informative. My cousin introduced me to my fiance, who happens to be her best friend, back in september. I emailed her the first time in September of 08 and she didn't reply until early November because she did not notice my email until my cousin asked her why she never replied. We emailed each other a few times and then began IM each other with webcam and chat everyday for about 3 to 5 hours. We talked about everything and shared our deepest feelings; we fell in love. My mother was planning a trip to vietnam to visit relatives and wanted me to come also; I haven't been to Vietnam since I left there as a child 35 years ago. So I decided to propose to her when I got to Vietnam. I got there on a Monday and proposed on Friday. We had an engagement party the week after on January 14th. My question is since I only have known her for a couple of months before getting engaged, will this be a red flag to the CO when it comes time for her interview. Also will being introduced by my relative be a red flag also. I'm just worried because I know this will be a long process since I just submitted the I129f a few weeks ago. Sorry about the long post. I have so many other questions, but I'll save them for another post. Thanks in advance for any help.

The answer to both questions is yes. The good news is you have plenty of time to build a genuine relationship and the evidence to go with it and you've come to the right place to learn how.

[pushbrk 13,625]

Just so you know... it is my understanding that a US Consulate/Embassy can not turn away a USC from its doors. Now, they might only be open between 1 & 3 in the afternoon, but you should be allowed into the Consulate/Embassy when she goes for her interview.

Good luck!

They won't turn you away during their business hours if you have business there, but that doesn't mean they will let you inside their immigrant visa unit or to attend an interview with a foreign national. Some do, and some don't. HCMC eitheer does or doesn't and it is NOT negotiable.

[TBoneTX 47,535]

Also, please be sure to complete your VJ timeline -- it helps everyone, including you. By the way, the "excellent member" to whom I referred has just replied.

Edited March 1, 2009 by TBoneTX

[NgocThuan 0]

Thank You pushbrk for your response. I hope the evidence will be enough to convince them that our love is real. My sweetheart is very confident about passing the interview when the time comes, but she doesn't really know what she is up against. I learned a lot from browsing VJ today and from the responses to this post. I will continue learning from the experiences of others and wish everyone a success in obtaining their visa.

[TBoneTX 47,535]

Excellent!

[NgocThuan 0]

According to the HCM US Consulate website they don't allow the petitioner to attend the interview with the beneficiary. I'm going to still try, but if they don't let me attend then I will just give her my passport and visa to show that I'm in country. Then I'll just go eat a bowl of pho (rice noodles) while she's being interviewed. Sorry about the missing timeline; I'm going to work on mine as soon as I figure out how to do it.

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

According to the HCM US Consulate website they don't allow the petitioner to attend the interview with the beneficiary. I'm going to still try, but if they don't let me attend then I will just give her my passport and visa to show that I'm in country. Then I'll just go eat a bowl of pho (rice noodles) while she's being interviewed. Sorry about the missing timeline; I'm going to work on mine as soon as I figure out how to do it.

NgocThuan,

Seem like you well prepare for all the paperwork. I am sure thing will work out very smooth for you. Just want to wish you the best of luck.

[Badgerella 5]

In Croatia, it took just a little bit of convincing the guards at the entry to let my fiance, the USC in this case, to be let into the (non)immigrant visa section of the Embassy with me. He had no other business to do there but to accompany me to my visitor visa interview. At first they said he wouldn't be able to approach the window with me and participate in the conversation, but he insisted on being let in to just sit in a chair wherever they put him and for that one, he got a go.

I had to do the interview on my own (and failed to acquire the visitor visa I had come for), but without any problems at all, my fiance was granted a meeting not with 'my' CO, or any other, but with the Consul herself.

Croatia allows the USC to be there for the interview, yet again they are not allowed to take part in it. There are chairs a few meters away from the immingrant/nonimmigrant visa windows that serve as a waiting room and that's where he will have to wait. He'll again be allowed to react if he ends up wishing/needing so.

As for your original question(s), I would strongly suggest what others have, too - make as many trips as you can, take as many photos as you can and save any and all things that do, or can relate to your relationship.

Good luck!