Younger Beneficiary - Older Petitioner

[sarah and hicham 3]

I have always found it interesting in the ME forum that MOST of the women are much older than their fiances/husbands. I always ask myself if they got married here to an American would he be that much younger? I find that rather rare in the US that a woman would marrry a man so much younger than herself but I could be wrong.

Also something I noticed when I went to Morocco is that most of the men I saw were older married to younger women. I wonder if the opposite is a red flag because it is not common there.

I think it's a double whammy, so to speak, since it is uncommon in both the U.S. and in Morocco.

Oh great I'm 2 years older than Hicham! Shooties!!!

[Jenn! 918]

I have always found it interesting in the ME forum that MOST of the women are much older than their fiances/husbands. I always ask myself if they got married here to an American would he be that much younger? I find that rather rare in the US that a woman would marrry a man so much younger than herself but I could be wrong.

Also something I noticed when I went to Morocco is that most of the men I saw were older married to younger women. I wonder if the opposite is a red flag because it is not common there.

I think it's a double whammy, so to speak, since it is uncommon in both the U.S. and in Morocco.

Oh great I'm 2 years older than Hicham! Shooties!!!

Ha! Same for us. Fortunately, I don't think that will affect anything in your case, as it didn't in ours. I think it's a different matter when both are in their twenties....

[shoshweetygaff 0]

Well I have been there 5 times. I didn't think I would have to go again. But if it would help our case, I could take a week and go to be with him.

I didn't know that they were still "considering" anything.....Am I the only one that they requested all documents sent to the NVC (originals) and then he doesn't have to take anything to the interview, only the medical exam from the doctor?

[Krikit 1,163]

Is it just an internet craze? Or are we all as gorgeous and beautiful as Demi More that we can get

a man 20 years younger? Excuse me, I never looked as good as Demi, except in my dreams. But

I feel like I am just as sexy and vivacious. But the men in United States, don't make us women of

age and substance feel that way. Is it only the men in other countries who can accept a woman for

her self, her heart, her inner beauty?

Any comments....I'm just in a Friday Funk.

It's not as uncommon as people think, and it is definitely occuring in the US, Canada, and the UK. Not sure why people think it's only in other countries.

[john_and_marlene 162]

It's not as uncommon as people think, and it is definitely occuring in the US, Canada, and the UK. Not sure why people think it's only in other countries.

Noone is saying it's unheard of. The scepticism is when the instance of occurence appearing at the consulate is way out of the norm. Let's say that 1 in 20 relationships has a woman much older than the man in the general population (and I think this is much more than actual). If the occurence is more like 16 in 20 at the consulate, they might have reason to be wary of the motives.

[Uxorious 0]

Well, I know my husband has pictures of me and the kids in his wallet. And his first response will be of genuine love, so I'm not worried about this. But I don't know if I should warn him before his interview, or just let him answer his normal way and normal responses, as I know he can do good. But if I tell him ahead of time, maybe he might get nervous and then not do as well.

The good thing about my husband, when we first met 2 years ago online, he spoke english, but not well. Now, he can speak better than most americans! So maybe they would notice this about him, and also, I have bought him so many clothes from USA, he dresses like American and stands out really from the other people in Alexandria.

I don't know what to expect, but I need a reality check. I'm thinking he's gonna interview on the 26th and then be here on the 30th. It doesn't happen that way?

In this post 9/11 climate, things are and will be different for May/December couples especially where the male is younger and of ME/Muslim background. That is very unfortunate and I feel for you. I am no security expert but from a commensensical point of view, such couples fit the "profile" of security risk. And you will have an extra burden of proof when dealing with official America.

As an avid follower of international news, I recall the libyan agent who packed a bomb in the luggage of his Irish girl friend pregnant with his child. That was allegedly Khaddafi's hand. And he is now a moderate compared to the latest brew of violent extremist.

Fair or foul, this places a high index of suspicion on the May/December couples epecially those with the younger male of ME origin or Muslim background.

So, while the COs say this is routine bah, blah, blah, there will be theses "ghosts' - the profiles, stereotypes, against the vernecular norm-hovering in the background when these couples go in to their interviews.

Even if the US female petitioner is very confident about the authenticity of her relationship, the official America will still view their case with suspicion. Unfortunate but I think these are the realities of our times.

[Dina 0]

This topic raises a question for my own case. I am 14 years older than my husband. He's German so we'll be going thought the Frankfurt counsulate. Do you more experienced folks think that they will be as critical of our age difference?

[Uxorious 0]

This topic raises a question for my own case. I am 14 years older than my husband. He's German so we'll be going thought the Frankfurt counsulate. Do you more experienced folks think that they will be as critical of our age difference?

from what I have seen on VJ and other sources, If he is german then no problem but if he is German citizen of ME/muslim background you should expect a tighter scrutiny. In recent years, there have been cases of German citizen (female) of Pakistani and other muslim backgrounds denied entry into US.

[Krikit 1,163]

It's not as uncommon as people think, and it is definitely occuring in the US, Canada, and the UK. Not sure why people think it's only in other countries.

Noone is saying it's unheard of. The scepticism is when the instance of occurence appearing at the consulate is way out of the norm. Let's say that 1 in 20 relationships has a woman much older than the man in the general population (and I think this is much more than actual). If the occurence is more like 16 in 20 at the consulate, they might have reason to be wary of the motives.

I'm not in disagreement. I was just replying to the original question.

[shoshweetygaff 0]

For me I know the reason it has taken so long HAS TO be because of our difference in religion. But once they meet my husband in person and talk to him, they will see that he is not a traditionalist, and is more liberal (being from Alexandria-this is what they are famous for) and I am knowledgeable of his background his religion and don't see much difference between me and him.

However, not all of America or individuals in this concession of visa petitioners would agree. I wanted to believe we were unique. Now I see we are not and we are normal. Well maybe being normal can be a good thing.

I just hope to finish the interview and get him here fast, I need to be with my husband and start our life.

[babybunny 2]

How do you think coutries get identified as high fraud? It's not because of some "feeling" on the part of COs ... it's from the level of specific findings of fraud. Don't you suppose that everyone that sponsored an immigrant and was subsequently tossed aside as soon as the greencard arrived thought that their relationship was valid and loving until they were slapped with the truth? They are considered high fraud countries because of the high incidence of actual fraud. You'll see stories here on VJ where the spouse takes off soon after arriving in the U.S. I don't wish anyone ill will, but some percentage will find too late that it wasn't about love at all.

So true! However, there are plenty of marriages that happen the 'normal' way in the USA where the marriage happens for fraudelent reasons (not for love) then the couples splits as after one partner decides they get what they want.

Life has risk.

I did not know where to interject my big fat mouth. I think this is a good starting point. this above thing happend to the shonnie.

my ex husband got here on green card and skipped off 3 weeks later. since he came on a green card.

I could not do NOTHING. The green card was his for 2 years and he the opportunity to remove the condtions. unsucessful - but, you dont wanna be in a situation where you are paranoid about " the public " charge issue. I was soo worried.

ps. my ex came from a low fraud country. there was no age diffrence .

Edited June 16, 2006 by shonjaved

[vicki/bala 0]

Well, I know my husband has pictures of me and the kids in his wallet. And his first response will be of genuine love, so I'm not worried about this. But I don't know if I should warn him before his interview, or just let him answer his normal way and normal responses, as I know he can do good. But if I tell him ahead of time, maybe he might get nervous and then not do as well.

The good thing about my husband, when we first met 2 years ago online, he spoke english, but not well. Now, he can speak better than most americans! So maybe they would notice this about him, and also, I have bought him so many clothes from USA, he dresses like American and stands out really from the other people in Alexandria.

I don't know what to expect, but I need a reality check. I'm thinking he's gonna interview on the 26th and then be here on the 30th. It doesn't happen that way?

First let me begin by saying, that I would never guess you are 20 years older than your husband. And you make a lovely couple....

I too am older than my fiance, divorced with children. He interviewed on Nov 15,th 2005 and here we are 7months later, still waiting on a visa. I thought the same as you, that he would interview and then be with me in a few weeks after that.. I hope that your wait is not that long, but please prepare yourself for the possibility. I see more longer waits in our situation, than I do short or immediate approvals. I wish you much luck.

vicki/bala

[babybunny 2]

oh snap if I was 20 years older than my husband. oh my god I would breaking some laws.

props to the ladies married to much younger men!!!

[Ban Hammer 12,879]

oh snap if I was 20 years older than my husband. oh my god I would breaking some laws.

props to the ladies married to much younger men!!!

nurse, get shon medicated stat!

[babybunny 2]