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[Beautiful_years 0]

Oh, thank you ChelleKeith.

That is so nice of you.

I really do not want to hear that he has another woman, but I do not just say that I belive that he has not another woman because I do not want it to be like that. No! Because I know that he does not have one. 180% sure

When I read those posts, I just want to thank you all for giving me advice and helping me go through this. He will call me tonight...I think I will feel a bit weird when talking to him, but I am looking forward to hearing his voice. It has been some weeks since we last talked.

Hello Coria,

My heart goes out to you and know how hurt you are at the moment especially with not knowing for a certainty what really is going on, does he love you? does he not? only he can answer those questions, but he can also show them with actions if he cant not bring himself to say the word.

Now crying in the office sucks and i understand how you feel, but when your heart is so heavy with emotions and you cant seem to do anything else... cry it out, take a little break and cry it out, it ll help clear your burdens a little bit though wear you out too.

He does love you or did love you, going through this immigiration process is tough work, he must have been in love deeply to have gone through it all from start to the finish, now the puzzle.... why this behaviour when the visa is right by the door step? Cold feet? You are certain there is no other woman, thats a relieft, so maybe whatever it is can be remedied.

I almost broke up with my fiancee on our wedding day, we were both very emotional, i had very many reasons to be, i was lonely, my parents were not here, bla bla bla, the list is endless, i cried all that night and before the ceremony, he even offered that we not go ahead with it if i wasnt sure but deep in my heart i knew i loved him, anyways after getting into my wedding dress and seeing him look so smashing in his tux, it all came back to me, the reason why i wouldnt want to be with anyone else in the whole wide world God willing, we met half way, also he promised me another wedding, when i got advanced parole, and a new wedding dress again if i so wanted, with my parents friends and loved ones, and since we got married its been love, love love all the way, i travelled for a week to maryland and missed him every single day, this same man, i was having cold feet for on our wedding day. So its normal to have doubts, to want to pull out, to question yourself over and over again, it could have been you doing the questioning like i did, but somehow things sort themselves out.

The part i dont really like here is ok i agree, there is a reason for this new attitude, but its NOT FAIR NOR ACCEPTABLE for him would leave you hanging like a "dog waiting for a bone" like someone quoted in previous posts, whatever it is he should have sorted it out and told you afterwards.

I know you wont want to hear he doesnt love you or wants to break up, i wont either, thats a strict "no no" but i also know deep down inside you, you have doubts already, so prepare yourself for the worse if eventually it turns out right then there would be a good reason to rejoice, if it doesnt then be strong....

You will survive... we are also here to comfort you through it all, so when you feel so stressed out, write here, someone would definitely read and share some words of encouragement.

All the Coria

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[coria1988 0]

Hello,

I am home now. I feel a bit better RIGHT NOW.

I just wanted to let you know that I have received the visa today =)

Well, at least I hope that I can be happy about it....

It looks so nice HAHA

Oh, when I left work one woman told me (as ChelleKeith already said):

If you love someone set them free, if they return it's meant to be.

I just hope that he only got cold feet ... I can't wait to talk to him later on.

Have a good day.

[Cham 3]

Hello,

I am home now. I feel a bit better RIGHT NOW.

I just wanted to let you know that I have received the visa today =)

Well, at least I hope that I can be happy about it....

It looks so nice HAHA

Oh, when I left work one woman told me (as ChelleKeith already said):

If you love someone set them free, if they return it's meant to be.

I just hope that he only got cold feet ... I can't wait to talk to him later on.

Have a good day.

and that woman is completely correct. What will you do if he does not contact you. Its been a few days or more then that now and nothing yet? did he say WHEN he would?? I still think it is childish and unfair to let you go through this pain and not tell you.

It is sad to say we all have learned to love jerks. ( i do not mean to offend but any person, male or female is a jerk in my eyes if they cant come out and be 100% honest and leave the other person hanging like a wet cat from a tall tree.

[coria1988 0]

and that woman is completely correct. What will you do if he does not contact you. Its been a few days or more then that now and nothing yet? did he say WHEN he would?? I still think it is childish and unfair to let you go through this pain and not tell you.

It is sad to say we all have learned to love jerks. ( i do not mean to offend but any person, male or female is a jerk in my eyes if they cant come out and be 100% honest and leave the other person hanging like a wet cat from a tall tree.

He did contact me yesterday. And he told me that I should call him tonight. I was not awake no more when he came back from work yesterday. =(

[Sprailenes 47]

Coria, this is not fair to you at all! I understand the time zones and everything but why write these trivial emails and then make you wait, stress out and worry? It's ridiculous! Almost as ridiculous as going through the entire process and getting the visa and then deciding that maybe he isn't so sure about all of this.

I am so sorry this is happening to you and I hope he comes to his senses. If he doesn't then its obviously his loss.

(((((Hugs)))))

[NYGirl 0]

Coria, I am so sorry for what you are going through.... i know it must be tough and heart breaking.

You already knew that something is up due to this topic you posted earlier in october http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...p;#entry2311666

He waited till you got your visa to tell you that he's not sure of his feelings. He made you go through the whole process of the waiting game and the whole interview. I don't know what to say, but maybe you better off without him. Maybe it's better that he told you now before you left everything behind you to a different side of the world.

That being said, maybe things happen for a reason. Maybe you will find someone better or maybe he'll realize what he lost and come to his senses.

Good luck!

[DanielParul 50]

Maybe he's got cold feet, maybe he's not in love with you, maybe he's found someone else. I just had a thought, maybe he's testing if you will stick around even if things were not rosy or if he has a bad day or bad times. Will you still stick with him through thick and thin and not just run away or give up at the slightest problem and maybe thats exactly what he wants to test on himself too - whether his love is deep enough for you too.

I pray for you that its only one of those temporary feelings before you both start building a life together. In the meantime just be strong and give him time to think but next time you two talk tell him you understand that he wants to think about things but its only fair that you know when to expect an answer, how many days, weeks? You are also going through a rough time because of this. Set a deadline for your sake.

[sasha414 0]

He did contact me yesterday. And he told me that I should call him tonight. I was not awake no more when he came back from work yesterday. =(

when i first read your post, i thought he might be thinking of a nice surprise for you, well i guess i was just being positive about the situation. but after reading the link that NYGirl posted, i realized that something is wrong here and i know deep inside you feel it too. the fact that he had to let you go thru all these emotional stress is not fair. i cant even imagine how you must be feeling right now , i am sorry you have to experience this. pls be strong, you are a very young woman with a bright future. if this relationship does not have a happy ending, then always remember " when God closes a door, he opens an even bigger window".

[ronjie 0]

Listen !! he's your man. so get on a plane . fly to where he is. bust the door down. grab him and seduce him. remind him what true love feels like. then let him know that if he doesn't want that in his life, he should let you know right then and there. so you can make your self available just in case you meet the right one !!

[Cham 3]

Sweetie I read the post back in October. The signs were THERE sweetie.

Hey,

my fiancé has acted so weird today.

We have already filed for K1 and everything should be ready soon. Waiting for Pkt. 4 to arrive.

And now my fiancé wants to wait to marry me. I dont understand anything no more.

He once told me that it would be harder for hm to get deployed when he has a wife.

And guess what...I found out later on that his 1st sgt told him that he gets deployed next year.

Now he doesnt wanna get married until in two years when he - hopefully - gets stationed in Germany again.

I do love him so much and I dont understand it no more right now....

I am so scared of what will happen.....

I dont find the words no more to write everything I wanted to...

Can anybody give me advice how to deal with it?????

Sweetie I will be 100% honest with you. I really do not see this having a good ending for you, this makes me horribly sad. Please protect your heart and we all are rooting for you

[Sprailenes 47]

Listen !! he's your man. so get on a plane . fly to where he is. bust the door down. grab him and seduce him. remind him what true love feels like. then let him know that if he doesn't want that in his life, he should let you know right then and there. so you can make your self available just in case you meet the right one !!

This sounds great... if life were a motion picture.

[mommymeow 0]

If you love someone set them free, if they return it's meant to be.

I do agree with this lady. If it means to be, it will mean to be.

I have been on this road before so I know exactly how this could feel. Cheer up

[carpe diem 2]

I'm sorry this is happening to you... Don't rush into anything. Stay in communication, tell him how you feel, and try to find out where his doubts are coming from. Do some soul-searching yourself-- you're so young, think very carefully about whether you are ready to marry him (I think when one's partner has doubts about the relationship sometimes the natural reaction is just fight to win him/her back without making a conscious call about whether it's worth it). The long distance does make it harder to work on the relationship, and your fiance is under a lot of strain being in the military in these times. Good luck to you.

[coria1988 0]

Hello,

I talked to him yesterday.

He told me that he was sorry and that he would let me know on January 2, 2009.

Yeah, weird he told me an exact date, huh? I asked him why he just picked that date and he told me because it is New Year. And he would hope to figure it out before. Now he made a "plan" to only talk to me three times a week (emailing) and once a week he would talk to me by phone. Well, I did feel that there was something wrong in October but I think it was his fear of not knowing what will happen to me when I am in the States all alone in case he has to leave. I told him before that I would be very sad if he had to leave and that I could go to France or Spain during that time in order to improve my language skills. I also said that this would not work because I could not just leave the country when he gets deployed early, I would need to have an Advance Parole. Plus, I have always been more worried about the crime over there. I know the area I live in, where to go and where not to go. So I think at that moment back then when he heard that he might get deployed he wanted to protect me from all of this. He wanted to come to Germany and get married here but he does not have more than 10 leave days. So, as I did not know alot about the Advance Parole, I called USCIS and informed myself. After telling him that it should not take a long time to get it he agreed that I should go to the interview. I think I really made him crazy about that...I have always said: "But the apartment has to be in a good area." "Is there a lot of crime?". I was just worried but I have always wanted to go there. Maybe I was just scared because I do not know how it really is over there. I have been there for three weeks and that was it.

He told me that it really just started last weekend this weird feeling. I have read to him the following poem which I looked for two weeks ago, in case I could not tell him no more. It was so true and it is such a nice poem. Okay, now I want to share it with you guys.

There's a special place in my heart

that only you can touch -

a place where I can go and feel you near.

Throughout the day I think of you.

I see your smile, hear your voice

and in my thoughts you lovingly appear.

The way we love each other

makes it hard to be apart

so when I can't hold you in my arms,

I hold you in my heart.

Hay un lugar especial en mi corazón

Que solo tu puedes tocar

Un lugar donde puedo ir y te siento cerca

Durante el dia pienso en ti.

Miro tu sonrisa, oigo tú voz

Y en mi pensiamentos apareces amorosamente

La manera en que nos amamos uno a otro

Hace más dificil estar separados.

Por eso aunque no te puedo tener en mi brazos

Yo te tengo en mi corazòn.

I did not write it myself because I suck at it but when I read that poem I just had to take it because it is/was (?) so true. I even got the spanish version...I wanted to do it like a present with both versions. He is born in the States but has mexican ancestors so he does speak spanish. When I read it to him, he was all quiet and I do not even know if he said anything afterwards. I think he did not say anything. The connection was bad, I barely heard him.

He said that he did not know what the answer will be at the end but that he thought it would be good. That he thinks he would decide for me (he said it differently as a response to my question) but that he was not 100 % sure as he feels so weird. I am really sorry for him feeling so weird and it hurts me to see that he is not doing good either but I somehow think "He got us in that situation". I know it is dumb to think that and I am sorry and I don't really know what to say on the phone. When I told him what I was thinking about lately, about our future, it just put pressure on him. He did not know how but he said that he could feel that it puts pressure on him. So what should I say? That I am so happy and having fun every single minute waiting for his decision? I hope next time it will be better...I was a bit relaxed when I called him but then I just started crying, I was happy to hear him, but it made me cry too. I also felt so weird yesterday, first I felt SAD SAD SAD then just empty like the world is passing by and I do not know whether to be sad or happy (I did not like that at all) and then I was SAD again...

I told him that we do whatever is best for him. If he wants to talk to me we do, otherwise we dont. I did not know what to say and I do not want to upset him more...

Well, I hope you all have a great day. I have to go to work.

Thanks for your support guys.

[honey_me 7]