I am ready to pull all my hair out!!!!!

[Nessa 23]

men :bonk:

[irishgirl73 0]

I was frustrated in the begining of our process too(well still am). My man didn't seem to understand the sense of urgency to get all this paperwork submitted. I don't think he realized how much was involved and that the longer we took getting things done-the longer we would be apart. I was prepared for all the K-1 back in October but we didn't get things going until Dec.

My man still has to remind me to say "hello-how are you?" before jumping right in about forms, fingerprints, letters, etc. It may be more of a woman/man thing rather than an Irish/American thing. I know how men feel about "nagging" so I won't do it.

Sometimes he drives me crazy b/c he seems a little too laid back, and I could kill him-but I have learned one thing-If I don't mention anything in a few days-he will ask me what's going on-Ladies NEVER NAG

men :bonk:

Edited June 2, 2006 by irishgirl73

[Karen_L 1]

This is so, but there is a time to relax and calm down and there is a time to "move yer ###" (so to speak) lol. Also: nagging usually works just fine lol.

Oh, I moved my ####### just fine when it came to filing the paperwork. I did take an extra week to read everything available and triple-check all of the forms, though.

And no, nagging doesn't work on me at all. I detest nagging. Nagging = breaking up, in LarryWorld. I refuse to live with nagging in my life. If something is mentioned more than 3 or 4 times, I intentionally stall on it, just to show that I will not be nagged into doing something. I don't want control of the relationship, but I sure won't let someone else have all of the control, either. 50/50 and all that.

I don't think that most women truly realize the amount of resentment that builds up due to nagging. It may take 5 years or more to manifest itself, but it WILL manifest itself in one form or another. Just like a woman being married to a lazy slob will cause resentment and ultimate manifestation of that resentment.

Just because a guy gives in to the nagging to make it stop doesn't mean the issue is over. Us men can hold onto things for a long, long time, too. Therefore, I wouldn't say that it "usually works just fine."

Again, just my opinion.

Well, I was mostly just kidding with that "nagging usually works" statement; I'm actually not such a big nag (at least in my own estimation). But, on the occasions when I DO nag him, my fiance', not a resident of LarryWorld, usually laughs and mimicks me . But really, he often asks me to remind him to do things if he thinks he may forget/procrastinate on it.

Also, in general, I don't think reminding someone to do something extremely important, like mail an important document for the US gov't, is an attempt to take control of the relationship -- it's an attempt to apply for the visa lol, and that really shouldn't cause someone to feel resentment.

[mike&rodi 0]

[My fiance is the US citizen. He did almost all the work for the visa process and he was always on top of things. And i used to think i will have to do all the hard work! I guess that when men want they can be very focused and do a great work. Or maybe i am just lucky

[irishgirl73 0]

This is so, but there is a time to relax and calm down and there is a time to "move yer ###" (so to speak) lol. Also: nagging usually works just fine lol.

Oh, I moved my ####### just fine when it came to filing the paperwork. I did take an extra week to read everything available and triple-check all of the forms, though.

And no, nagging doesn't work on me at all. I detest nagging. Nagging = breaking up, in LarryWorld. I refuse to live with nagging in my life. If something is mentioned more than 3 or 4 times, I intentionally stall on it, just to show that I will not be nagged into doing something. I don't want control of the relationship, but I sure won't let someone else have all of the control, either. 50/50 and all that.

I don't think that most women truly realize the amount of resentment that builds up due to nagging. It may take 5 years or more to manifest itself, but it WILL manifest itself in one form or another. Just like a woman being married to a lazy slob will cause resentment and ultimate manifestation of that resentment.

Just because a guy gives in to the nagging to make it stop doesn't mean the issue is over. Us men can hold onto things for a long, long time, too. Therefore, I wouldn't say that it "usually works just fine."

Again, just my opinion.

Well, I was mostly just kidding with that "nagging usually works" statement; I'm actually not such a big nag (at least in my own estimation). But, on the occasions when I DO nag him, my fiance', not a resident of LarryWorld, usually laughs and mimicks me . But really, he often asks me to remind him to do things if he thinks he may forget/procrastinate on it.

Also, in general, I don't think reminding someone to do something extremely important, like mail an important document for the US gov't, is an attempt to take control of the relationship -- it's an attempt to apply for the visa lol, and that really shouldn't cause someone to feel resentment.

Oh believe me I know

Do you know how many times I have asked(told) Gavin to do things & then he will say.........."you didn't tell me that". I could scream-and sometimes I do I wouldn't say I am a nag-but I am sure my man would argue that point.

[Bunnyqr 0]

Wow!!! I didn't think I was going to get any responses to my MELT DOWN!!!! I thought I was the only one going through this phase. Happy to hear that I am not alone. I read everyone's responses and most of them made me laugh. I don't know if it's a Male thing, or a Mediterranean thing or just an ANDREAS thing. Maybe it's a combo of all three. I know that my personality can be quite annoying. My sister reminds me of this almost daily. I tend to be very ####### about a lot. So I am taking a deep breath, considering Yoga and trying to go with the flow. We have a dead line for the RFE but it isn't until mid July. So I have to be thankful that we just started June.

As for another member remembering my other thread about Andreas not calling in 2 days. He did call to tell me that he hurt his foot pretty badly at work. He twisted his foot at work going down stairs. Since he has been in Mykonos the phone calls are now about every other day. Not like before when he was in Athens and we spoke up to 3 times a day. I just got spoiled with that.

The good news is I am going to Mykonos in July. Got the days off from work and am going for 8 days. I can't wait to see my baby.

This separation is getting to the two of us. Andreas had a melt down on the phone the other night and BEGGED me to come to Greece, stay with him through the process and he would pay my bills while we wait together. It was hard to hear him like this. I just started my new job in April and this is a good paying job that will help us with our paperwork down the road. Especially when they ask for my income, letter from company about my job, bank statements etc. Thank God he called me the next day to apologize for losing it the other night.

This is a difficult process we are all in and the long distance is a nightmare.

Thank you all for listening, you really do help me so much. I feel like we are sitting at a big table, eating, drinking and swapping stories. It is Great!!!!

Oh, and this is Andreas' favorite line "Relax, relax, it's OK, no need to stress" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I will be bald by the time he gets here!!!

[Karen_L 1]

This is a difficult process we are all in and the long distance is a nightmare.

Omg it is; you're completely right. But -- to try and see the bright side to all this -- or at least the bright side of the Long Distance Relationship part -- lots of people get into and maintain for LONG periods of time relationships that are based primarily on physical attraction without any deeper substance behind it, but if you're so far away from the person, your relationship HAS TO BE deeper than that and you have to have LOTS to say to each other too or else it's impossible to maintain a connection. I know that doesn't compensate for how much everyone misses their fiances/fiancees of course, but anyhow, it sometimes makes me feel better to think like that. Also, maybe later on, after we're all married and settled into a life, the experience of separation will help us not take our spouses for granted the way so many married people do as the years go by. Anyways, just some thoughts

[Bunnyqr 0]

This is a difficult process we are all in and the long distance is a nightmare.

Omg it is; you're completely right. But -- to try and see the bright side to all this -- or at least the bright side of the Long Distance Relationship part -- lots of people get into and maintain for LONG periods of time relationships that are based primarily on physical attraction without any deeper substance behind it, but if you're so far away from the person, your relationship HAS TO BE deeper than that and you have to have LOTS to say to each other too or else it's impossible to maintain a connection. I know that doesn't compensate for how much everyone misses their fiances/fiancees of course, but anyhow, it sometimes makes me feel better to think like that. Also, maybe later on, after we're all married and settled into a life, the experience of separation will help us not take our spouses for granted the way so many married people do as the years go by. Anyways, just some thoughts

I completely agree. The distance, the time frames, the dead lines, hold on planning a wedding, the "I don't know" answer when everyone asks when he will be here, the counting down of days to get me closer to when I will see him again. It's all so stressful. But everyday I thank God that we were brought together. I thank God for such a wonderful person he is and the amazing family he came from. He is everything I have always wanted. And I know this is an experience I will never forget. It's just that "now" is what I am have a difficult time getting through. And I know the drain it is on him. We both try to have fun and keep busy during the days but it's his voice that I hear on the phone that re-connects me to the deep love I have for him.

God I can't wait for the day I drive to JFK and wait for him to come out those sliding doors with all his luggage.

You must be so excited that you are coming so close to your timeline to be complete!!!!!!

Don't forget to conttinue keeping us updated even when he is here.

Ciao!

[Aquelunya 0]

I think I will be bald by the time he gets here!!!

ME TOO!!!!!!

[gugu24 0]

lololol i know its aweful to wait but good thing for me is my fiance, my duaghter live with me in japan so not too much pain of waitting

[Karen_L 1]

This is a difficult process we are all in and the long distance is a nightmare.

Omg it is; you're completely right. But -- to try and see the bright side to all this -- or at least the bright side of the Long Distance Relationship part -- lots of people get into and maintain for LONG periods of time relationships that are based primarily on physical attraction without any deeper substance behind it, but if you're so far away from the person, your relationship HAS TO BE deeper than that and you have to have LOTS to say to each other too or else it's impossible to maintain a connection. I know that doesn't compensate for how much everyone misses their fiances/fiancees of course, but anyhow, it sometimes makes me feel better to think like that. Also, maybe later on, after we're all married and settled into a life, the experience of separation will help us not take our spouses for granted the way so many married people do as the years go by. Anyways, just some thoughts

I completely agree. The distance, the time frames, the dead lines, hold on planning a wedding, the "I don't know" answer when everyone asks when he will be here, the counting down of days to get me closer to when I will see him again. It's all so stressful. But everyday I thank God that we were brought together. I thank God for such a wonderful person he is and the amazing family he came from. He is everything I have always wanted. And I know this is an experience I will never forget. It's just that "now" is what I am have a difficult time getting through. And I know the drain it is on him. We both try to have fun and keep busy during the days but it's his voice that I hear on the phone that re-connects me to the deep love I have for him.

God I can't wait for the day I drive to JFK and wait for him to come out those sliding doors with all his luggage.

You must be so excited that you are coming so close to your timeline to be complete!!!!!!

Don't forget to conttinue keeping us updated even when he is here.

Ciao!

Oh absolutely -- I agree with everything you said 100%! It's sort of a weird combination of gratefulness and happiness for having this wonderful person in your life who you love and who loves you and sadness because you're forced to be so far away from them, you know? Sometimes it's easier to be philosophical (hey -- Greek root wood, right? lol) than other times. There have been more than a few times when I seriously considered moving to Italy for a few years, but then the impracticality of moving there (for me) sets in and I throw myself into *MY* great Sanity Saver: Routine.

Hey, my fiance' will be flying into JFK too! I'm from NYC too (from your posts, you seem like a fellow NYer lol ) Hopefully my fiance' will be here by late July/early August! (assuming he get the visa ::fingers crossed:: ). Being so far along in the journey is great, but now the real go-crazy-nervous time is upon us I will absolutely keep posting -- how his interview went, what questions they asked, how his entry at JFK went, etc. and, plus, I'm utterly addicted to this forum so I'll be around... lol PM me sometime!

Did Andreas' mom finally mail the friggin' document? lol

Edited June 3, 2006 by Karen_L

[irishgirl73 0]

My friends keep telling me that I should enjoy my "alone time" before Gav gets here because before I know it I will be married & having kids & I will NEVER be alone again.

So now I am trying to enjoy the time I have because soon enough I will be complaining that he is wrecking my head The distance is torture but I know that when we are finally together we will be able to get through anything. I would have to meet the love of my life in Dublin

[denali_1963 0]

As you can see from our time line, Andreas and I have been put on hold because of the RFE. I received it in the mail on April 28th. I told Andreas on the phone what Immigration needs from him. 2 forms, with translations. It has taken him 3 weeks to get the documents with translations. GREAT!!! But then he decides to go to Mykonos 2 Friday's ago. As he is getting ready for his 3 hour trip to the island I ask him if he got the papers. He says "Yes", I then ask, did you mail them. He tells me no, he doesn't have time because he has to leave for the boat. He tells me not to worry, he put them in an envelope and his mother will mail them on the following Monday. A whole week and half passes and no papers in the mail. I ask him every day, did you talk to your mother, did she mail the documents. He finally calls me today and tells me that his mother never sent them, that she thought she was supposed to wait until he called her and told her to mail them.

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIM!?!?!?!?!??!!?!??!? He knows that this is important, and he knows that we are on hold until I get these in to the Vermont office. So now his mom knows to mail the documents. I WANT TO SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHat is the hold up!!!!!???? Why didn't he mail them???????????? Why did he leave it to his mother to do???????

Please Lord give me patience!!!!! And then to top it off, he has a melt down the other night saying how much he misses me, how he wants me to go to Greece and wait with him through the process and how this is so difficult to be apart from each other. HELLO!!!!!!!! Am I the only rational one in this situation!???!!!!

MAIL THE FRIGGIN DOCUMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think your man and my man should go bowling together. I am waiting for him to send the dam paper that he got from the embassy. The 221 g paper i want to read. All i hear is I will send it tomorrow. What the hell i still don't have it yet and its been almost a week. He just has to send it through the computer.

[kimlbs 0]

I have to say that this thread has been the best therapy ever!!!! The aspects of a LDR are sooooo difficult. I find myself struggling even more now that we are only a month away!!!! I keep saying that if we can get through this, we can make it through ANYTHING!!!!!

[Sacha 0]

If he was the USC I'd say he's having second thoughts.

Why only if he is the US citizen?? I think if Mike and I could choose where to live between NY and a greek island we would both pick Greece (if it wouldn't be so dambed hard to do). You shouldn't assume that America is everyones dream place to live, I am sure he is moving to USA because of love not because she lives in America. Anyway I get the impression he is just in slow motion, nothing to do with second thoughts on either of their parts.

Sorry to be annoying about it, it just seemed like an odd thing to say.

Trust me...you are not alone with this one!!!! It seems that a lot of men (not all) from other Countries just have this laid back attitude.

My man is the US citizen and he was more than a little slow at times, and me at others. It's not just men from the med who have the manana, manana attitude - its just so bloody stressful sometimes you just need a little break from thinking about it...

But don't worry you will get there and live happily ever after, 3 weeks isn't that long when soon you will be enjoying the rest of your lives together.

Amen to that!

I feel a sense of deja vu reading these posts. I suppose I should see the funny side of it. I constantly nag my fiance to get his rear end in motion but alas, it's not the race but the gender that's causing frustration!!

*Bitter undertone mode ON* If Mister Man had sent our K1 application off in January like I told him to then we wouldn't be stuck in the midst of this IMBRA #######. *Bitter undertone mode OFF*

Maybe I should change sides and bat for my own team.

LouandMike - are you from Birmingham???? It's nice to know someone from Birmingham, UK is in same situation as me.

Edited June 3, 2006 by Sacha