I just HAD to say something ...

[gimygirl 0]

well ... we went out to a local restaurant tonight for dinner. geoff, nico, gabriella and i were all chitter-chattering along about our day and what not while sipping on our drinks. next thing i know ... actually hear is some woman saying to her little girl 'in that tone' "KNOCK it off" ... she tried to say it low & mean. of course i glanced over only to see the mom getting up and going to sit down next to her little girl.

she grabbed the little girl by the arm and leaned in to again verbally reprimand her. the mother was really upset that she wasn't eating/didn't want to eat. she was telling her that she 'WAS going to eat'. by now the little children is in tears and the mother's getting more upset because she's crying and telling her to stop crying.

my children are now in shock because they know that this isn't acceptable behavior. we spoke to the children about how some people choose to parent their children. i would say though ... it was extremely difficult for me to sit and listen to this mother berate her little girl, she couldn't have been older than 6.

our food arrived and the waitress could see that i was visibly upset. the manager and waitress, as well as other patrons were staring at this lady. i absolutely can not ever tolerate child abuse ... even verbal. geoff asked if i wanted to just change our order to go and get some boxes, but i tried to keep it together and we stayed.

then this mother tries to force feed her little girl and she starts to gag ... she's yelling at her to stop it and to drink some water. the little girl can't drink the water and her mom uses that awful low & mean threatening voice to drink the water and if she chokes again she will smash her.

welp ... i lost it then. i grabbed my wallet & car keys, told geoff and the children to get our food to go and i walked over to the table. *heart beat .... heart beat ... heart beat ...*

me: excuse ma'am i can see that you are having a very frustrating time with your daughter, but i am appalled at the level of abuse you are willing to subject your little defenseless child to. if you would like i can shove some food down your mouth and then force you to drink as well while you're crying.

she actually looks at me and says: what are you talking about!?!? (and you guys KNOW how i feel about ignorance!! UGH!!)

me: i'm talking about the fear that you are using to try and control your daughter with. she's a little child and deserves love, compassion and understanding.

she continues to feign ignorance and then asks: what did i do?

me: force feeding her, threatening her not to choke again or you will smash her.

her: oh i don't think i said that

me: it's not surprising that you don't remember saying something in your fit of anger. but regardless, enjoy your dinner because you have completely upset ours.

the manager and waitress came over to me apologizing profusely but i know it's not their fault. so we paid and left.

i felt that i had maintained my composure when talking to this scumbag although i was quite teary and emotional. geoff being english would have rather that i didn't say anything but supported me all the way. the children were over the moon that i said something ... nico wanted to say a few things of his own but he was waiting in the car.

all in all i feel really good for standing up and speaking my mind ... it's who i am. but this was the first time that it was somewhere very public and with my children around. we had a family discussion about it afterwards. we explained that even though i said something ... the woman would not change and she would most likely continue to treat her daughter in that fashion.

anyway .... it was on my mind after putting my 2 lovely cherubs to bed.

*rant off*

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

wow! You are brave!!! I have been tempted SOOOO many times to speak up when I see ####### like that. The most recent was when I was at the radiology diagnostic place. This elegant young mom with three kids and another on the way....the kids were running up and down and everyone (staff and clients) asked them to stop. Mom said nothing. Well AN HOUR LATER they were pooped and came and leaned against the wall where she was sitting. The little girl (about 8) sneezed directly into the mom's face and did not cover her nose/mouth in time. Well that lady backhanded that girl such a wicked slap. AMAZINGLY, the girl did not cry....she just bowed her head and looked soooo ashamed. I also think she wet her pants. I started bawling and saying to Henry that it is not right, but I did not have the courage to call her out. But boy did I ever want to. I cried all the way thru the mammogram and the tech kept saying that I was too young to cry over a mammogram.

[MrsAmera 41]

Well jeez I'm almost in tears after reading the post. The poor little girl, I really hate parents who treat their kids like animals. If you don't want them, don't have them, but don't hate them after they are a part of your life. Good for you for standing up to the idiot woman. It takes a lot of courage but I'm sure that little girl will never forget what you did.

[almaty 19]

you did good sister monique..most people avoid confrontation regardless of what happens to another human..you were brave and showed intergity..i am proud of you...dean

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Great that you did that Gimy. Pretty sad.

[gimygirl 0]

thanx guys! i usually never post such personal threads here but i needed to get this out. i WAS in tears .... and you know what? that little girl was beautiful ... long hair, almost black and the bluest eyes ...

the only negative thought that is left with me right now is: did i make it worse for her daughter tonight. for a mother to feel so comfortable to open abuse a child ... what would she do to her in their own home? would she take out her rage and embarrassment on her?? *sigh*

i have never had a problem for speaking up for those who can't ...

thanx deaners! *hug*

[Ban Hammer 14,036]

sounds like a great way to wind up with a kid that has an eating disorder. glad she was not my mom. and you did the right thing

[almaty 19]

thanx guys! i usually never post such personal threads here but i needed to get this out. i WAS in tears .... and you know what? that little girl was beautiful ... long hair, almost black and the bluest eyes ...

the only negative thought that is left with me right now is: did i make it worse for her daughter tonight. for a mother to feel so comfortable to open abuse a child ... what would she do to her in their own home? would she take out her rage and embarrassment on her?? *sigh*

i have never had a problem for speaking up for those who can't ...

thanx deaners! *hug*

sister monique, the situation would be the same...the mother has anger management issues and i am certain is worst at home and around people she knows..of course, no one corrects her and the circle goes unbroken ..as learned behavior repeats itself..you took a stand and to me, that is heroism...if others did that.,,,the world would be better, instead of turning a blind eye...and the little girl would be smiling instead of crying...dean

[gimygirl 0]

Great that you did that Gimy. Pretty sad.

absolutely heartbreaking, mich. some people just don't put their children's welfare first. we aren't raising children ... we're raising adults, who just happen to be children at the moment.

i've always known that i wanted to be a mom from a very young age. i had the baby dolls, was the babysitter , etc ... i'm extremely maternal. i can't bear to see children being berated. i have 2 of the most well behaved lovely children i've ever known ... that didn't happen over night, but it did happen with love, patience and consistency.

anyway ... i know i can't change the world ... ty for being so sweet bro dean!

[LiszyandKenny 5]

aussiewench... do you have an "applause" smiley to lend ? gimy really deserves it

[usarandyo 0]

From the way it sounds to me... I am sure when they got home she beat that little girl and probably blamed it all on her for causing you to come over and embarass her.

I have confronted one man in a parking a few years back.

He was being pretty darn rough on the little boy he was with and I could just tell he wanted to really put some harm on him. When he said something like "Boy I am going to beat you good" and I seen that little boys eyes. I knew I was going to say or do something.

I approached this guy, he looked at me and Itold him "Why don't you act like a man for once in your life and come over here and try that on me!" I could see the fear in this man's eyes. He was being confronted about this and I knew no one had ever done it before.

He just started getting back in his vehicle and I told him.. "If I ever see you around here alone I am going to beat the ###### out of you. Guaranteed!"

Maybe it helped... maybe it hurt but atleast for once someone said something that needed to be said!

I believe in spare the rod spoil the child but hey... there are limits to where it becomes abuse.

[Ban Hammer 14,036]

aussiewench... do you have an "applause" smiley to lend ? gimy really deserves it

[MichelleandCraig 1]

usarandyo...I think that's a bit harsh...I don't think anyone knows what happened when she got home..It could easily have gone either way; and if that poor little girl is in trouble, she doubtless would have been anyway for the SUPPOSED way she was 'acting' in the restaurant. Nothing anyone said or did would have changed it. Just wanted to point that out. M.

[gimygirl 0]

When he said something like "Boy I am going to beat you good" and I seen that little boys eyes. I knew I was going to say or do something.

i can't even explain it but that is exactly how i feel ... i get these INSANE compulsions to help those that can't stand up for themselves. when it gets to a certain point ... i just can't stop.

it happens at least once a week. geoff is getting used to them now!

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

You know, she probably did get a whooping when she got home, but I still think Gimy did the right thing.

I don't think anything will happen to that poor kid that has not happened before. BUT this was probably the first time someone defended her and she will remember that. She is probably thinking someone cares about her - "that lady cared enough to step in....I matter to someone."

I regret having not spoken up when the circumstances called for it. I usually shrink because I am not a mom. But Gimy is a mom and was with her kids, so it was perfect that she said something.

And I agree with Charles that that mom is molding a little anorexic or bulimic.