ive been used.........

[DanielParul 50]

But that's just it....fraud can be perpatuated by anyone, not just someone wishing to emigrate to this country, and nobody is immune to it. It is this rush to fraud judgement, in international marriages that irks me.

Once you remove the fact that the spouse is from another country you have two adults that should be completely awake and serious when they make the decision to wed. If after a wile (short or long) the marriage ends....the blame if it must be appropriated, liles on both sides. The "it takes two to tango" adage works here too. But I keep seeing the 'he/she used me for immigration' banner being displayed too much in VJ marriages that end.

While I understand that its the hurt talking, but there is also significant portion (IMO from what I see reported here) of these break-ups, where the marriage has gone bad just because it sometimes happens -no fraud intended or perpetrated. Yet, the end result is still, that the USC does his/her damnest to jeopardize the immigrant's residency - calling and/or writing USCIS and ICE to report a fraud. But if examined more closely we see no fraud at all...just a very hurt spouse who's marriage ended before he/she was ready for it. Its just sad...that the USC who'se marriage to a foreigner has ended, has this 'power,' and I fear that in some cases it is sorely abused.

(And I must clarify, that I'm not talking about the OP's situation here...as we do not know the details here....I'm just ruminating on the on international marriages in general.)

-P

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

Why is it that many times when an international marriage that began w/ a marriage or fiancee visa, crubmles there is always the inevitable "how can I get his/her greencard revokes?" If this was a marriage between 2 USC that went sour there would be no question of how can I get the person kicked out of the country?

IMO, if you're broken up that your marriage has gone bad, getting your ex's greencard revoked would not be the first thing you think of....ways to win him/her back, counseling yes, not thinking up ways to get the person deported.

It seems that her "love" for him disappeared once the greencard arrived. Kind of coincidental, no?

If I realized that my wife used me to come here legally I too would be looking to her sent back ASAP!

[iahmjpinoy 6]

It seems that her "love" for him disappeared once the greencard arrived. Kind of coincidental, no?

If I realized that my wife used me to come here legally I too would be looking to her sent back ASAP!

The sad thing is, everyone here is making an arguement for their thoughts, and yet, the OP hasn't chimed in on the matter since he posted it.... so no one really knows how far this went before he considered it a fraud and is looking to deport her..

Did he post this with intentions of getting some advice? If he did, he sure isn't clarifing anything for anyone... or did he start this to see how many ppl will agree with him and he can feel good about what he's doing??

Eh, we won't know exactly until he comes back to the thread he started and clear the confusion up.... why post unless you're going to be active on your own thread.. *sigh..

Ingats!!

[Kiv 32]

But that's just it....fraud can be perpatuated by anyone, not just someone wishing to emigrate to this country, and nobody is immune to it. It is this rush to fraud judgement, in international marriages that irks me.

Once you remove the fact that the spouse is from another country you have two adults that should be completely awake and serious when they make the decision to wed. If after a wile (short or long) the marriage ends....the blame if it must be appropriated, liles on both sides. The "it takes two to tango" adage works here too. But I keep seeing the 'he/she used me for immigration' banner being displayed too much in VJ marriages that end.

While I understand that its the hurt talking, but there is also significant portion (IMO from what I see reported here) of these break-ups, where the marriage has gone bad just because it sometimes happens -no fraud intended or perpetrated. Yet, the end result is still, that the USC does his/her damnest to jeopardize the immigrant's residency - calling and/or writing USCIS and ICE to report a fraud. But if examined more closely we see no fraud at all...just a very hurt spouse who's marriage ended before he/she was ready for it. Its just sad...that the USC who'se marriage to a foreigner has ended, has this 'power,' and I fear that in some cases it is sorely abused.

(And I must clarify, that I'm not talking about the OP's situation here...as we do not know the details here....I'm just ruminating on the on international marriages in general.)

-P

I agree to this post too. I think is normal to disagree with your spouse, but if my husband had used the "fraud story" in any of our disagreements that would really hurt me and maybe it would hurt any posibility to fix our problems.

Assuming that a foreign person get married for the GC is as bad as assuming that a US Citizen get married thinking that his/hers Birth or Naturalization certificate is good enough to make the marriage work.

[bhajishah 4]

In this type of quid pro quo situations....dont you both have intent of using each other.. sorry the deal didnt go down the way you hoped. Its a real gamble this pick and choose wife thing.

[ez2007 1]

I just hope that this is just an adjustment period in their life together. My spouse and I have disagreements, hurts and so on especially that we come from 2 different cultures.

May they patch up their differences in the end.

[justashooter 430]

What amazes me more is that people are so willing to sign the I-864, considering the extent of the obligation it requires. Do they not read and understand the implications of it?

Well, the other thing that amazes me is how many of these marriages don't even last 2 years before the USC is crying to revoke the GC.

And USCIS does not help the matter by allowing so many to self petition to remove conditions after divorcing the USC. Think someone intent on immigration fraud through marriage cannot convince any number of people that they are truly in love and get here, get married, then - oops - change their mind? And how hard at that point is it to prove the marriage was in good faith? The USC thought so, the non-USC obviously already acted a great part, and can likely convince USCIS of same. Hard to blame the USC for *thinking* fraud, especially considering the usual outcome.

i've been reading this forum for 3 years, and have seen so many cases in which people have married strangers. i don't understand how a person can do this, but then, i'm a pretty cynical guy who has been around the bend a time or two and always looks to minimise risk. i wouldn't marry someone i didn't already know well at many levels, no matter what country they were from.

people do enter the US through fraudulent marraige schemes, and there are networks in their home countries to arrange just such. living in china, i see this kind of manipulation frequently. i have been approached by many people pitching fraudulent business schemes with immigration intent, and have been asked to arrange marriages by green card seekers, or to provide character reference in relationships they were trying to create. these people openly stated that ANY american guy would be good enough. it is a feature of a culture that cannot afford benevolence and honesty. things are just too tough in some countries to be any other way.

we forget that in many countries the primary motive in selection of a marriage partner is economic gain. "love" can come later, or not come at all. i see this in the marriages of many chinese i know. the difference is that in china divorce comes with such stigma that people stay in marriages for purely economic reasons. a marriage for gain in the US can end quickly in divorce, as there is little stigma to prevent it.

what troubles me most about this forum is that so many people here support the concept of marriage for social/economic gain (green card). Americans are berated for refusing to accept such arrangements once revealed. the USCIS rules were not created to facilitate such schemes, rather to unite genuine spouses who are seperated only by country of nationality.

the basic legal structure of the USCIS is not designed to filter out fantasy partners that have been procured via the internet. the rules predate the boom in internet marriages seen in recent years, and have not yet caught up with the problem. consular VOs are derided for issuing white slips denying genuine relationship when no genuine relationship exists. they are not vindictive monsters. they are just doing their job.

in my own case, i actually lived with my wife in her birth country several years before we arranged her immigration status and married. i understand that economic considerations were part of her choice of me as a marriage partner. i also know enough about chinese men to understand that character difference was the most significant factor. we are a legitimate case for immigration. most internet marriages are not.

sure, some internet marriages pass the test of time. love can grow between two strangers who are thrown together by fate or selection. if both partners are kind, giving of themselves one to another in equal measure, it must. this process takes time, and is not something that can happen over the telephone or the internet. it happens when two people eat at the same table, sleep in the same bed, ride together on the motorcycle to the grocery store, wait in train stations for each other, catch the flu or get food poisoning together, share the same family, etc. and these things over a period of years.

if an immigrant comes to this country with the intent to pursue such a relationship, and remains true to the goal, they have the right to stay. if their partner engages in physical abuse of them, the government has a responsibility to intervene. if a pattern of substantiated police reports or a criminal conviction exist, they should have access to VAWA protection. due process should be a limitation on VAWA. (really should be called VAPA -violence against people act) - gender neutral

if an immigrant comes to this country, disrespects their spouse, makes no attempt to integrate and become productive, and gets a bunch of their friends to write letters stating that they have been yelled at a few times, or if they stay married just long enough to get a green card, a credit card, and a drivers liscense and then jump ship, they should be expelled immediately. they came to this country to be married to a specific person, not to use said person as a stepping stone.

personally, i believe that K1/K3 should not be available to persons who have not co-habitated or at least lived in close proximity for less than a year. such a limitation would save a lot of heartache. it would also prevent a lot of fraud.

i'm justashooter, and i approved this message. you may, or may not.

[maliciant 7]

I'd be in favor of ways for people to visit the US for long enough to cohabitate without marrying right away

, but as a general rule, that is not really possible

with the system in place, requiring a long period of living together is for the most part saying no to most people. The only thing that comes close to working is to allow a longer time period on a fiance visa before requiring marriage or leaving the country, as well as the ability to work legally without being married.

If denied I'd move to another country to be with my SO, but most can't do that. I'm kind of surprised when I see posts here by people who say their wife is moving back to their original country so it's just over... but still, if your SO is from a poor country and you can't work for your employer remotely, then you'd have to adjust how you live radically... a lot can go wrong but sometimes you just have to take risks if you want rewards.

[Donna A 4]

he retracted his statement in another post. things seam to be ok now.

[sara..... 371]

he retracted his statement in another post. things seam to be ok now.

yes he said she left her gc and passport with him so i wanna know is she just taken a break or what lol im so confused over this matter

sara

[rebeccajo 14]

The OP's posts don't make any sense:

First he says this:

"guess it wasnt really the way i said it was .she gave me her green card and passport before she left so i wouldnt think that ive been fooled.im so sorry if i had you guys involved and confused in this matter,i was so mad and had too much stuff on my mind when i posted this matter,once again,please excuse my "kid like'behavior...have a good day and GOD bless.... "

Then says this:

"i am confused myself(lol).......but everythings been working out the way a couple should be for now.GOD bless"

If things are "working out the way a couple should" then where has she gone?

Edited September 27, 2008 by rebeccajo

[maliciant 7]

Excuse my previous post... I made it on a macintosh and apparently it decided to put a bunch of invisible characters in or something...