Wife gone after 10 months

[Sha2011 0]

Oh please do not mention God in such a vengeful stateswoman...

As if you were the catch of a lifetime. I do feel sorry for whomever crosses your bitter and resentful path.

You don't want a wife, you want a maid that performs sexual favors. Good luck with that.

A maid with sexual favors ? Sorry ! I am not the one that thinks women are ITEMS. Maybe someone else. I have too many sisters to think like that... I am not looking to get into anything serious...

Edited September 30, 2008 by tangkas

[Completely 3]

Tangkas the point many people are trying to make here (and you are unable or unwilling to accept) is that most stories have two sides. Yea you wrote a book about how bad your wife is & maybe she really is that bad, but you also come across as seeing her as a possession rather than an equal partner. You act like you bought a defective product and you are exchanging it at Walmart for a replacement.

I know this ! My wife has decided to come back and work things out. My wife has her faults, and I have mine also. We've spoken on how we could work our problems, and we MAY give it another shot. Did I say I was getting remarried any time soon. I don't know where your getting this from. Possibly I wasn't clear on the fact I am not looking for another wife

Good for you.. All you have to do is communicate at all times.. work things out.. People have their own perspective.. So instead of posting here and get a lot of bad comments from others who does not know the real situation, is think the best thing you can do, to solve the problem in your marriage..

Love without talking is nothing.. communicate everyday..

I hope things will work out well with you both.

Edited September 30, 2008 by Completely

[Sha2011 0]

I already have another woman in line. She's Hispanic and yes she has her green card. Praise God ! kicking.gif

Yay, a woman you don't have to make any sacrifices for, so she can make them all for you! Yaaaay!

Yep. I can really tell you loved her.

My wife has too many local Filipino friends here locally. If I didn't let her go to the store and buy what she wanted, she would of been gone much sooner then 10 months. My wife isn't the type of women to tolerate stuff like that. She would of been out the door much sooner, and she wouldn't had thought about me again. She's not a gullible woman that's going to sit around and have someone tell her what to do. You don't know my wife. She's very intelligent. She's actually gifted. Her GPA was the highest at her university. She has the smarts to become a medical doctor.However, she wants to be an educator. She's also not one to let someone take advantage of her, nor does she fear me.

One question please prove without a reason that I didn't try to make sacrifices.

Asking a woman to HELP with cooking, is making her a housekeeper ?

When did asking your spouse to help in an area become trying to make them a housekeeper ? I don't ask her to clean my clothes, my house, my car, or nothing more then help my son with his homework since I am not home.

You don't know my wife, nor do you know me. My wife wants to become an educator. So she enjoys teaching...

[Completely 3]

I already have another woman in line. She's Hispanic and yes she has her green card. Praise God ! kicking.gif

Yay, a woman you don't have to make any sacrifices for, so she can make them all for you! Yaaaay!

Yep. I can really tell you loved her.

My wife has too many local Filipino friends here locally. If I didn't let her go to the store and buy what she wanted, she would of been gone much sooner then 10 months. My wife isn't the type of women to tolerate stuff like that. She would of been out the door much sooner, and she wouldn't had thought about me again. She's not a gullible woman that's going to sit around and have someone tell her what to do. You don't know my wife. She's very intelligent. She's actually gifted. Her GPA was the highest at her university. She has the smarts to become a medical doctor.However, she wants to be an educator. She's also not one to let someone take advantage of her, nor does she fear me.

One question please prove without a reason that I didn't try to make sacrifices.

Asking a woman to HELP with cooking, is making her a housekeeper ?

When did asking your spouse to help in an area become trying to make them a housekeeper ? I don't ask her to clean my clothes, my house, my car, or nothing more then help my son with his homework since I am not home.

You don't know my wife, nor do you know me. My wife wants to become an educator. So she enjoys teaching...

All you can do is talk to her and share 50/50 of household chores, whether cooking or cleaning.. Many marriage has gone into sour relationship because one of the other does not clean, nor cook etc..

Do household chores like a team, and talk to her about your needs and wants and ask her the same as wel..

I am not so good in cleaning the house but I can cook.. But me and my husband do it as a team in our days off.. Neither one of us expect to clean something in weekdays as our work schedule is both 60 hours per week, but we both know our responsibilities..CLEAN YOUR OWN MESS, or an agreement, I WILL COOK and YOU WILL WASH THE DISHES..

Love is there I believe, but without communication and respect, everything will turn to sour..Be at least like a friend that respect one another.

[nane1104 146]

Oh wow, what a threat!

After reading through all this stuff, I feel exhausted and I am a little irritated so I won't comment too much on the stuff.

What I would like to say though is if you are really try to give it a shot again and try to work things out is:

Before my husband and I got married, we had a pre-marriage counseling with our pastor. It was only one hour but I totally remember it clearly.

The best advice we got from him was "Ask your husband/your wife every day 'What can I do for you today to help you to have a good day?' "

That really stuck with me and it works if you follow it.

Yes, you can look at a marriage as a business, teamwork is important, everybody contributes. It is all about giving and taking in a loving way.

Do I like getting up with my husband at 6am to make sure he had some breakfast and takes something for lunch? Sure not, I'd rather sleep in (I am currently not working because we are having our baby soon), but I do it because I loe him and I know he appreciates it a lot.

In return, he helps me with the dishes after dinner. I cook during the week, he usually on the weekends.

I don't think it is asked too much to have her cook and take care of things if she doesn't work. But let her always know that you appreciate it and don't take it for granted.

And your wife- I hope she will come around as well if you guys really want to make this work again.

I remember I had my moments when I felt I wanted to go on a big strike and don't do anything for my husband anymore because I felt he took advantage of me being at home all day.

But I learned that the more stubborn you are, the worse the whole situation becomes. You always need to talk about what is going on and how you feel about things WITHOUT accusing each other of stuff all the time.

It is HARD work, but it is possible to do it-- if you truly love each other.

I guess, that's something you guys still need to find out.

Wish you all the best.

[nowhereman 1]

I think you need marriage counseling... the whole situation is a mess!

[SterlingGirl 1]

I think you need marriage counseling... the whole situation is a mess!

Marriage counseling for what? He's already moved on to his next woman.

[nowhereman 1]

I think you need marriage counseling... the whole situation is a mess!

Marriage counseling for what? He's already moved on to his next woman.

Didn't he say they are now trying to patch things up?

[ED*Riza 0]

. She needs to go back where she came from.

Why? Is she a package so you think you have right to send you back?

She doesn't belong here. She came with the sole purpose of reconnecting with friends and family. I called ICE... I am going to go down to the local USCIS. I am going there in person. Hopefully I'll get more answers and better results.... I've been called a jerk my some Pinay, because I am doing this. Like I should be a sitting duck. We see where their primary motive was for coming here.

. No man deserves a wife that vanishes and tells you in Yahoo instant messager is the only way you can contact her for an extended perioid of time. I did that when she was in the Philippines I thought it would end once she got to America, but here I am at it again. Her aunt supposedly told her that she can only contact me with Yahoo Messenger. She keeps saying I am coming back. I ask her when, and she says on Monday...soon Monday turns to Thurs and and Thurs to Sunday. Evidently she doesn't want to come back. Georgia doesn't have as many Filipinos as California. She probably feels at home there. If she misses home so much, then she should go back home... What's the purpose of my charity. Anyone that would come to conclusion I should just avoid immigration, and let her stay and have happy life. Please ! Like we Americans are made of cast iron. Come on ! Americans if your wife leaves then call USCIS. She doesn't belong her. Our economy is already failing. Soon if many women commit these scams it will become harder for foreign women who do love their American men to come here. I remember in my uncles day all you had to was be married to an American to come here. Its harder now, and if these "marry and leave women" keep at and it goes unreported, it will become much harder...

Don't pitty her ! She deserves deportation and a night in an ICE holding and soon after a ticket back to Philippines. Alas justice I will have justice.

I already have another woman in line. She's Hispanic and yes she has her green card. Praise God !

I wish ya all luck that went down this immigration path and had your marriages workout. I don't think I'll ever go down that path. I don't even think USCIS will let me bring another woman in this country. Plus I don't want to flip the coin. Heads will she leave and tails will she stay...

I am looking for solid immigration advice from ye people.. On what I should do to get this woman out of the country.

[Completely 3]

. She needs to go back where she came from.

Why? Is she a package so you think you have right to send you back?

She doesn't belong here. She came with the sole purpose of reconnecting with friends and family. I called ICE... I am going to go down to the local USCIS. I am going there in person. Hopefully I'll get more answers and better results.... I've been called a jerk my some Pinay, because I am doing this. Like I should be a sitting duck. We see where their primary motive was for coming here.

. No man deserves a wife that vanishes and tells you in Yahoo instant messager is the only way you can contact her for an extended perioid of time. I did that when she was in the Philippines I thought it would end once she got to America, but here I am at it again. Her aunt supposedly told her that she can only contact me with Yahoo Messenger. She keeps saying I am coming back. I ask her when, and she says on Monday...soon Monday turns to Thurs and and Thurs to Sunday. Evidently she doesn't want to come back. Georgia doesn't have as many Filipinos as California. She probably feels at home there. If she misses home so much, then she should go back home... What's the purpose of my charity. Anyone that would come to conclusion I should just avoid immigration, and let her stay and have happy life. Please ! Like we Americans are made of cast iron. Come on ! Americans if your wife leaves then call USCIS. She doesn't belong her. Our economy is already failing. Soon if many women commit these scams it will become harder for foreign women who do love their American men to come here. I remember in my uncles day all you had to was be married to an American to come here. Its harder now, and if these "marry and leave women" keep at and it goes unreported, it will become much harder...

Don't pitty her ! She deserves deportation and a night in an ICE holding and soon after a ticket back to Philippines. Alas justice I will have justice.

I already have another woman in line. She's Hispanic and yes she has her green card. Praise God !

I wish ya all luck that went down this immigration path and had your marriages workout. I don't think I'll ever go down that path. I don't even think USCIS will let me bring another woman in this country. Plus I don't want to flip the coin. Heads will she leave and tails will she stay...

I am looking for solid immigration advice from ye people.. On what I should do to get this woman out of the country.

[Jasman0717 8]

After four years I am still trying to figure out the Filipino culture. My wife is the eldest so is expected to help the family. Fortunately my business in the RP is doing well so we are giving them money from that. I haven't seen anything this extreme before but it takes all kinds to make the world go around.

I do feel badly for you and understand the pain you are going through. I have a friend who just left his wife and is really having a difficult time dealing with the pain.

[Sha2011 0]

Marriage counseling for what? He's already moved on to his next woman.

I guess you overlooked this

I know this ! My wife has decided to come back and work things out. My wife has her faults, and I have mine also. We've spoken on how we could work our problems, and we MAY give it another shot. Did I say I was getting remarried any time soon. I don't know where your getting this from. Possibly I wasn't clear on the fact I am not looking for another wife

] Edited September 30, 2008 by tangkas

[SterlingGirl 1]

I know this ! My wife has decided to come back and work things out. My wife has her faults, and I have mine also. We've spoken on how we could work our problems, and we MAY give it another shot. Did I say I was getting remarried any time soon. I don't know where your getting this from. Possibly I wasn't clear on the fact I am not looking for another wife

Well, when you say stuff like this:

I already have another woman in line. She's Hispanic and yes she has her green card. Praise God !

It kind of gives an impression otherwise.

[morocco4ever 63]

You are still married, you state that you and her MAY work it out. But you have already found a new woman online. I don't know what to tell you here. Why didn't you simply wait for either a divorce, or a final decision to divorce before you moved on?

Please do yourself a favor. Take responsibility for your actions. Show kindness towards your wife. Do the best you can. Then if you did your best and couldn't reconcile your differences then walk away without so much anger and resentment towards her. I am not convinced that she used you for a green card, and trust me, I believe there is a large majority here that are out for the green card. I think you both had unrealistic expectations for your marriage.

But to have moved onto a new woman already doesn't show much for your intentions of love towards her.

[pcana 0]

Tangkas the point many people are trying to make here (and you are unable or unwilling to accept) is that most stories have two sides. Yea you wrote a book about how bad your wife is & maybe she really is that bad, but you also come across as seeing her as a possession rather than an equal partner. You act like you bought a defective product and you are exchanging it at Walmart for a replacement.

I know this ! My wife has decided to come back and work things out. My wife has her faults, and I have mine also. We've spoken on how we could work our problems, and we MAY give it another shot. Did I say I was getting remarried any time soon. I don't know where your getting this from. Possibly I wasn't clear on the fact I am not looking for another wife

I really hope your wife isn't making a mistake by coming back to you, and I also hope the other spanish lady with the green card isn' making a mistake either by comunicating with someone like you... Feel really bad for both of them..

Abby