Wife gone after 10 months

[Shpat_Argjira 0]

Like SRVT said tell her to make you some "LANGOINISA" and smack her with it.

[Hunnybaby 1]

I felt bad reading what you've experienced. But I am pretty sure many members here would agree with me that YOU spoiled your wife when she was still in the Philippines. WOW..... sending her an allowance of $500 a month was too much. Didn't you even feel that she was just using you then? Didn't you even ask her why she didnt have a job??? You let her abused you! even the family!! There are really some filipinoes who are just looking for a stepping stone to leave this country.... Too bad... there are many who are truly inlove... but because of your wife kinds.... it sucks that when you say filipinoes...sometimes, most of the people just remember the bad things ....

Anyway.... looking for someone to love and planning or realizing that SHE IS THE RIGHT ONE.... is a long shot!!!! I wonder how you were when you were together here in the philippines as a husband and wife before she got there..... Bad hygiene??? you said...u've been married for 1.5 yrs before she got there.. so how long in that 1.5 yrs you got together here in the PI??? that you didnt know she has a bad hygiene???

[belay 0]

you've reported her to ICE and ICE will take care of it.. i feel sorry for both of you... financial matters should have been laid down even before you got married and expectations should have been clear before she even get to the US...

all you have to do now is move on and accept that things didn't happen to both you and your soon to be ex wife's plans...

i hope you'll learn from your mistakes and be careful next time... and remember to know the woman first before you get married...

there's a reason why the head is higher than the heart...

[envy_me 18]

I am really confused here. You were sending $500 a month plus living expenses before she came? And your requirements for her to be a stay at home wife was to bathe regularly, cook, and clean, correct? Why didn't you just hire a maid with benefits? You complain that you have to come home and cook your own food that she eats? Well welcome to real life. I do that every day of my life. And guess what, I am happy to have my husband eat the food I cook. Why would I deny him food just because I cooked it? When a person feels treasured they respond in kind. You frequented dating sites? Why, when you were already married. Why not spend that time loving your wife?

Sorry to say, but there are 2 sides to this story. I think anyone who read your post well enough would also be reading between the lines.

Okay everyone. Whenever I post like this I get bashed, so bash away, I am prepared.

well said..

[BUHOK 0]

Again there is two sides of this story. She didn't fulfill your needs. Did you fulfill hers? Did you ever stop to think about how she was feeling? She is in a foreign land with no one around that she knows. She is expected to fill duties that you yourself knew in advance that she wasn't used to. To me you sound harsh and judgemental. But the final blow was to go onto dating websites. I don't know the reason that she had problems with hygene, but I suspect she was depressed. A person that is truly in love would assist her through these rough times rather than put her down for her lack of skills. I suspect your purpose was to buy a wife, not be in love.

This thread might as well be closed, it is useless.

You nailed it! First off he created his own problem by sending his wife $500/month. From reading your post it clearly shows that you don't respect your wife, you dont have to mention what's goin on with your wifes' hygeine that's totally uncalled for. He was so upset to his wife that's why he visited dating sites instead of talking to her wife and try to save the marriage. You said you tried? how? by going to a dating sites?

[BUHOK 0]

I would agree too that being a foreigner in this country is not easy at all. A lot of adjustments has to be made from culture, climate and most of all being home sick, did you ever comfort her? In marriage Tangkas it's not only you but it's you AND her. Don't blame her if your marriage didn't work out and most of all don't judge Filipino people.

Edited September 25, 2008 by BUHOK

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

From your side of the story, my two cents worth is that your wife's family is spoiled. You spoiled them that is why your wife became indifferent to you. My husband always tells me that Americans take care of themselves before they they care of others. You should have made that clear to her from the start. The damage has been done and I don't know if you can still repair them after everrything that has been said and done. I feel bad about it, but not all Filipinas are like your wife. -- Marie

[angel_eyes1976 0]

Since my wife arrived in the United States her dad and brother has been bothering her about money. I sent them money once and refused after that time. Soon she began to get upset with me. Once I saw her brother's instant message asking if my parents would send support them, and asking her to come back home so I'll take care of them like I had been doing. Not to mention her dad and brother didn't work when my wife was in the Philippines due to the $500 per month I sent them. They moved into a pretty luxorious apartment, and I paid the rent and bills on that also. After my wife came they wanted me to continue with the money and the rent I paid. I told my wife I have to care for you here now only in US.

Soon my wife began saying she wanted to go back home. Not long after she got in contact with a well off aunt in California that kept asking her to come and stay with her. I remember my wife asking me if she can go to California. This was 2 or 3 weeks after she came. "After 1.5 years of marriage and being separated. in 2 or 3 weeks you want to leave me already ? "

"

I believe because I am not caring for her family my wife is not making herself attractive for me. Her personal hygiene has went down. When I ask her to make some Filipino food she takes a whole bunch of mung beans and cabbage and thats it. No Pancit, no adobo, no shopow, no lumpia. I remember once I cooked pancit and lupia because I wanted it so bad, and she freely at of it. I told my wife before she came to US if she could learn how to cook these Filipino delicases. She didn;t work. She didn't do anything but sit home and had everything paid for her when she was in the Philippines. I would of paid for her to get a cooking course if she needed extra. she said she would learn how to cook, but she never did.

My wife wont cook. I have to work and come home and cook. When I do cook she ends up eating the food I cooked. I work nights shift and by 7 hours I have to go back to work. I have to cook my food, and all she does is sit home.

Back to the aunt. Recently, I became very depressed knowing that I spent all this time and effort on a woman that doesn't take care of herself and refuse to help me in anything. I began wanting someone else. My depression caused me to start smoking again. From 3 a day to neary a pack a day.. From their it got worst month by month.My sleep patterns changed. On average I got 2 or 3 hours sleep per day. My grades at school dropped. I lack clarity and find myself forgetful. My depression got worst and caused me to eat one small meal a day. I have lupus. It went into remission but it came back. My doctor said stress would cause it. Sometimes I am in severe pain. At times I would wake up screaming of pain, and she would just lay there in sleep. I didn't care if I lived or died. All I wanted was a woman that take care of herself, has good hygiene, loves me, and can cook her island delicases.

It got to the point whenever we got into an argument she would pack up and attempt to leave. It really hurt me to see this. I had no confidence our relationship would last. I began searching internet dating services hoping I would find someone to love me for me. My wife soon found out. She began accusing me of being the worst human type. I tried to reason with her on why I did it. All she could do is point the finger at me. I tried to tell her to change her faults. I offered to bring her to the doctor to find out why she has the odor she does. I tried !

When your spouse has bad hygiene can you sleep with them and refuses to change it, can you sleep with them. Would you see any hope in the relationship ?

Anyways, time went on. Her well of aunt in the Philippines bought her a ticket. My wife soon left. I came home one day and she said I am leaving

Then she jumps in a vehicle with an older male with two kids and his wife.

My wife didn't even tell me where she was going. I tried calling her friends to find out where she was and they had very nasty attitudes with me. I tried telling them if your husband was missing wouldn't you want to know where he is. They just got more irate. They sent me nasty text messages. Only one of them was semi nice, but yet you can see attitude all over. I have not known many Filipino people. I began resenting Filipino people. I am sory for that, because we can't judge an ethnic group by a few bad seeds.

My wife says her aunt will help her get a working permit and then green card, and she doesn't need me. she's not coming back to my house. When I think about my wife was here for 2 or 3 weeks her aunt had been begging her to come there. Recently, one of my wife's family members had a kid. I guess my wife is helping them out as a domestic. My wife said she'll work for them to pay for her working permit and green card.

I tried calling her aunts this morning, and they got some nasty attitudes with me. One was yelling and how she's an American citizen she can get my wife to stay in US she doesn't need me. One of them denied she knew my wife. I know these are lies.This mad me very angry with Filipino people. I know its not realistic to think all Filipinos are like this. I am sorry for thinking that. I've known some American kids of Filipino descent. They just as I stated Americans of Filipino descent. This is my first time being around Filipinos born in the Philippines. All of the one's my wife know are very unreasonable. If your spouse is missing wouldn't you want to know where there at ? But all I get is a mouth full of curses and yells.

I managed to get one of their addresses I called ICE, USCIS, and Department of State informing them my wife has left permanently. for some reason all of my wife's family members are trying to marry Americans. and once they do I guess they'll go to the aunts house in California. I have valid proof they've done that before with one cano. ICE said this is a fraud scam and they'll look into it. I gave them my wife's visa, and it might be canceled.

i'm sorry that this happened to you...your sending her $500 a month and paying for the bills in their rented apartment, the brother and father not working and living off with what you sent and your wife not trying to make an effort to learn to cook should have raised some red flags for you if your wife really loves you or just your money... i hope everything will eventually work out for you and your wife

[Giskat09 2]

sorry to hear this story but at least her visa will be cancelled. Not all Filipina are stupid but honestly your ex wife is totally a mess in your life. I think she just really used you to fly there in USA...

Anyways, i hope that you wil be ok now. All of us deserves GOOD things. GOD bless everyone.

[Caladan 19]

What did she do that was fraudulent?

I'm serious. Ten months. She doesn't leave with another guy. You're not going to be able to say 'well, after I cut her family off after I had her brought here, she wasn't as hot and didn't cook for me like I thought she would, so I started cheating online and she left.'

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

My wife says her aunt will help her get a working permit and then green card, and she doesn't need me. she's not coming back to my house. When I think about my wife was here for 2 or 3 weeks her aunt had been begging her to come there. Recently, one of my wife's family members had a kid. I guess my wife is helping them out as a domestic. My wife said she'll work for them to pay for her working permit and green card.

I tried calling her aunts this morning, and they got some nasty attitudes with me. One was yelling and how she's an American citizen she can get my wife to stay in US she doesn't need me.

Sorry this is happening to you, but it's the chance we take as US citizens bringing over a foreigner. There's always a possibility they are lying to us and have other motives. You can clearly see that this was all a pre-planned scam. Like she said, "I don't NEED you anymore". She needed you to support her whole family and to bring her over, and now she doesn't need you anymore. Good riddens!!!

Do whatever you can to get her a s s deported and shipped back to where she came from.

[Sha2011 0]

Personally, my only concern now is getting out of here. She doesn't belong in this country. She was a maid when I met her. She got me for 25,000.

She has a visa and she's doing all this. what happens when she gets the official green card. does anyone know some people that were in this situation ? possibly this could be some great help for me.

I reported her to the state department, ice, and the Philippine embassy. I am hoping they cancel her visa soon.

Edited September 26, 2008 by tangkas

[Ree 9]

She has a visa and she's doing all this. what happens when she gets the official green card. does anyone know some people that were in this situation ? possibly this could be some great help for me.

Why she doesn't have a green card? She was living with you for 10 months, that's enough time for AOS. Did you ever send documents for her AOS?

[Caladan 19]

Since you haven't filed for AOS, she'll have to leave once her K-3 is up.

[Sha2011 0]

She has a visa and she's doing all this. what happens when she gets the official green card. does anyone know some people that were in this situation ? possibly this could be some great help for me.

Why she doesn't have a green card? She was living with you for 10 months, that's enough time for AOS. Did you ever send documents for her AOS?

I haven't filed for AOS. She plans to go around me to get AOS or should I say get to stay here