Reapplying for a K1 Visa???

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

You have 6 months to activate your K1 by entering the US. Make him go to Germany and then if things are good you can activate it or decide not to use it.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

He also expects me to come to the US without Medical Insurance for my son and me,my son has ADHD and NEEDS meds ,also he is a kid and accidents do happen.........

Is that because he is too cheap to buy it or he just doesn't have access to it through work? Your child could be uninsurable in the US without access to group insurance.

[Steve'sGirl 0]

I can only imagine how hard this situation must be for you. You've been through so much with your SO and now that the finish line is near, things seem to be falling apart. I really feel for you.

If I were you I wouldn't go to the US, but let him come to Germany. Make it clear that he needs to make an effort to keep this relationship alive and to fight for you. If he's not willing to support you now, what will happen once you completely relocate to the US? You mention that he won't get insurance for you. What happens, God forbid, if you get into an accident or come down with some sort of illness that requires long-term treatment? Who will pay for that? Will he leave you standing out in the rain then as well?

Bottom line is, it's time for him to step up to his responbilities. He's been married before and he's not a kid anymore (at least as per his passport). Tell him what you expect from him. I would put a letter together. That way you'll make sure you won't forget anything major and he can't cut off the conversation. I know you're facing a difficult decision, but IMHO everything happens for a reason and if this relationship doesn't work out, you will find someone else who really deserves you and who will be there for you. No matter what.

Try to cancel the flight (if the ticket is refundable one way or another).

I hope you'll find the strength to get through this difficult time!!

[KitEEgirl 0]

The German Embassy is extremely accommodating. IF you contact them and tell them you need to enter the US and not activate your VISA, they very well may "reapply" it after you get back. I've known a few others that had passed the interview, but asked that the VISA not be applied to the passport until they returned back from another trip.

Although your personal business certainly isn't any of my business, I hope you figure everything out that you are questioning, and really advise you not to enter into something you aren't 100% sure of....

Good luck!

[nane1104 146]

Well, here is what I would do: I would tell him that you try to find someone to take over the lease so you an get out of it early, but if not, he will have to pay the rent until the lease is done.

Also, tell him he needs to come to Germany to spend some time together and to try to figure out, if you should get married at all.

If he isn't willing, I'd let it go for good.

How would he be willing to apply for another K-1 but not to help you out with the rent for a few months?

[Gallowglass 0]

He also expects me to come to the US without Medical Insurance for my son and me,my son has ADHD and NEEDS meds ,also he is a kid and accidents do happen.........

Is that because he is too cheap to buy it or he just doesn't have access to it through work? Your child could be uninsurable in the US without access to group insurance.

Do you really want to put yourself and your son in the hands of a guy who won't basically scratch his ####### to help you both out during the transition?

I don't know what this guy is like, but if you were a sister or female friend of mine, I'd be saying "Think - then think again".

And, if he has money to spend on toys, he has money to spend on health insurance. If he's unwilling to prioritise correctly, well.....a tough decision might need to be made.

I would strongly advise you NOT to travel to the US on the K1, as that's a one shot deal only Ask if you can travel on the VWP instead.

I don't envy your situation, and I can only hope that this works out in whatever way is best for you and your son.

[u2rsobad 0]

I'm sorry you're in this difficult situation and I hope you take the time to really think things through before you actually follow through with marrying this man.

I would agree with a post above about checking with the embassy in Germany to see if they can at least offer advice on traveling on the K-1 or VWP.

As for the medical insurance, is it that he doesn't have medical insurance through his job or that he actually refuses to add you to his insurance? I wasn't able to add my husband to my insurance until after we got married, so he was without for a few days. Even though your fiance's employer may provide him insurance at a reasonable rate, it may cost much much more for you and your son, in which case he should look at health care alternatives for the both of you.

I think your main concern right now is whether or not you can salvage the relationship. Do you know what happened in his previous marriage? Are there any similarities ?

What ever your decision, I wish you the best.

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Girl, it just looks like you are determined to go to U.S. no matter what. I don´t see a reason why. Despite everybody here advising you not to do that you still keep saying you are going next week. So you are basically just asking, if it´s possible to get a K1 again. Well normally I´d say yes. In your case I have some doubts. It´s like when people ask if it´s ok to use a tourist visa for getting married - if you plan that then it´s visa fraud. So I think if you are planning not to get married on a K1 and even have a return ticket and plan to go back in 5 weeks, then I think that´s visa fraud too. I don´t know how you wanna explain that if you apply for K1 again. That´s one thing.

Second thing is: What do you see in this guy? Is he loving and caring and wants to do all the best for you and your son? Doesn´t sound like it. Is he gonna be by your side in good and bad? Sounds like maybe in good only. Everybody here can see that pretty clearly. At least from what you describe of course. Maybe you see some of it too since you are having your doubts. This guy sounds like tough to live with even if you have no problems. But you have your son that needs his health to be taken care of so you should think about him. Anyway, if you still wanna give this guy a chance then you should. But it doesn´t have to be on your expense. You having to activate K1 cuz of him and lie? No way. Tell him to take time off and go to Germany so you can spend some quality time together and resolve your issues. If he says no, then you know, where you stand. Good luck

[grrrrlygrrrl 0]

Run.... Run like the wind.

It's all very safe and romantic and wonderful until the REAL responsibility comes into play.

Trust me, my friend... I've been in your shoes and your story struck at the very core of my heart.

There are good things waiting out there for you .... run.

Don't look back.

OK seems like I need to give some more detail here.........

My Fiance expects me to just up and leave with nothing taken care of.I'm not willing to do that since I would face serious legal issues.

He makes enough money to cover my rent until my lease would be up ,but he doesn't want to do that as he rather spends his money on a new bike,gun and other toys.........

He also expects me to come to the US without Medical Insurance for my son and me,my son has ADHD and NEEDS meds ,also he is a kid and accidents do happen.........

James does not support me and my son finacially and never has,we live off of Unemployment since due to my son's ADHD and him being at a special Day acre I can't work here in Germany for the lack of fulltime DAy CAre for a child like mine.The only family I have here is my sister and she works fulltime so she can't take care of my son either.

The reason why I'm flying out is to see whether this relationship could be saved.I wish I could just use the VWP but I doubt that is possible.

James has always started going crazy after we haven't seen each other for a while and it happened for the 5th time now.

He all over sudden became terrified of making this commitment and left me out in the cold again.

I have to go overthere to check out whether it can or can not be saved.If nothing else than at least to get a clean cut to the whole thing.And since he loves his money so much I know that he will NOT cover my rent or other bills until my lease is up which means that I would depend on Unemployment,so therefor we can't get married as by German Law he would have to fully support me finacially and I would no longer be eligable for Unemployment checks.

Unfortunatley James did not let me know about getting cold feet until AFTER the Interview........so now I'm the one that has to deal with it and to be honest I'm GLAD I did not cancel my lease any earlier cause now I at least have an apartment to go back to.

[ginger1981 0]

I am not going to reiterate the sound advice that has already been given on here, but I just do not understand why he cannot visit you in Germany. It sounds as if money isn't an issue, and it would be much easier for him to enter Germany on the VWP than it would be for you to get into the US on either the K1 or VWP. Also it sounds like getting time off (he has 30 days coming up...that is nearly unheard of in the US!) isn't so much an issue either.

If you can cancel the tickets, do try...even if they are not refundable you may get the difference (less the service fee) left over applied towards a future flight on that airlines.

But just put it in the perspective of what is best for your son, especially since he has special needs. Will this man be able to give your son the patience and understanding that an ADHD kid needs? I imagine it is a lot for you to deal with, and will be even more so for a man who has been single for the past several years and does not have experience w/ special needs children.

[Krikit 1,163]

By the looks of her timeline, it appears the OP is already here and married.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I dunno. It says July 4th was when she was married, but the timeline hasn't been updated since May 21 and she hasn't been here since June 5. Looks like she probably wrote the wedding date back in May. Good luck either way to her.