HELP! For friend of my husband..your advice

[LaGreenEyes 0]

Hey Everyone..awhile since I have posted something..but now we ..well a friend of ours is in kind of a pickle.

A friend of my husband's came to the US..got married and his wife did the papers (they still live back in Dallas where we are from)....all that good stuff...he got the GC thru the DORA program in Dallas. In the past 6 months or so..the friend of my husband has found out alot of things about his wife that he's having a hard time with...like she basically stole another woman's husband in the past...she lied about her ex husband and her's relation ship..and he recently told my husband that every time they had a fight she said "if you don't do what I say I'll take your GC papers away". He's had about enough..they fight all the time, he calls my hubby for advice and just to escape, she threatens to kick him out and "take away his GC".

Do you think if he would leave her would he be OK to self-petition for removing conditions? He works, supports his son financially who lives in Miami with his ex wife (she came to the USA 10 years ago on a B2 and stayed..then divorced him while he was still living in Panama) he's a good man, good friend and good dad. Would he need a lawyer? (not a problem since we have immigration lawyers in the family now since my sister married one!)

We were talking about it all and I said "why don't I post this on VJ and see what the consensus is?"

Thanks Ya'll!

[wifetobe 2]

Hey Everyone..awhile since I have posted something..but now we ..well a friend of ours is in kind of a pickle.

A friend of my husband's came to the US..got married and his wife did the papers (they still live back in Dallas where we are from)....all that good stuff...he got the GC thru the DORA program in Dallas. In the past 6 months or so..the friend of my husband has found out alot of things about his wife that he's having a hard time with...like she basically stole another woman's husband in the past...she lied about her ex husband and her's relation ship..and he recently told my husband that every time they had a fight she said "if you don't do what I say I'll take your GC papers away". He's had about enough..they fight all the time, he calls my hubby for advice and just to escape, she threatens to kick him out and "take away his GC".

Do you think if he would leave her would he be OK to self-petition for removing conditions? He works, supports his son financially who lives in Miami with his ex wife (she came to the USA 10 years ago on a B2 and stayed..then divorced him while he was still living in Panama) he's a good man, good friend and good dad. Would he need a lawyer? (not a problem since we have immigration lawyers in the family now since my sister married one!)

We were talking about it all and I said "why don't I post this on VJ and see what the consensus is?"

Thanks Ya'll!

every time they had a fight she said "if you don't do what I say I'll take your GC papers away". He's had about enough..

Why doesn't he go back home if he's had enough? There are hundreds of 'a friend of my husbands' stories in the ROC forum. Did you research any of those? When did they file for AOS? By the sounds of it he will need an immigration lawyer, a divorce decree and a few forms to fill out..to self-petition is fine but he would need to prove that they entered the marriage in good faith. Let's see what mermaid has to say....

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Even though he received his green card through marriage, it is HIS card - not hers. She has no rights to it, nor does she have the right to threaten him with its removal. Only USCIS can take away his green card and that only happens if they verify he gained the card through false circumstances. Even if the marriage breaks down she has no right to his card, and she is still liable for the conditions of the Affidavit of Support. He should make sure that he has his green card in his possession at all the times and in a place where she is unlikely to be able to 'steal' it from him. (I'm sorry, I know we are only getting one side of the story, but she does sound capable of doing this). She can't take away his Green Card papers although she may try to take away any evidence he is collecting towards removal of conditions and he should protect himself against that. He should read over the instructions for the I-751 now so he knows what he needs and he needs to start collecting his evidence of a bona fide marriage while he still has access to the documents. He also needs to keep them some place she cannot get to them - a safety deposit box would be a wise investment for him right now. Make copies of joint bills, lease or mortgage statements, credit card statements, bank statements, etc. as they come in and put the copies in the safety deposit box. Make photocopies of previous similar documents dating back to the first days of the marriage and put those in the file as well. He should also try to document the abuse - keeping a journal with dates and statements she has made threatening him to show the marriage break up, etc.. He will be able to order transcripts of joint tax statements using the primary SSN from IRS - make sure he knows her SSN.

They may wish to try counseling to see if they can develop a more equitable and fair marriage, but if not, he should be prepared to get divorced. He can file a waiver from the joint filing condition of the I-751 but he either needs to prove abuse (police reports, witness statements, etc.) or be divorced and include the final divorce documents with the application.

Good luck to him. I hope it all works out for the best.

[sara..... 371]

my gosh sounds like kids fighting in the sand box ......if u dont do it my way i will kick u out....or its my game my rules u dotn count ................i dont have any advise because i have never been in a situation like that and would never put anyone in that kind of situation but to me it sounds like she is a control freak!!!!!!

hope his situation improves one way or the other

[Lisax 0]

First of all this woman definitely has commitment issues, sounds like she's had a bad past, things we don't know about, she definitely needs to see a psychologist. It sounds like she will very unlikely get any help from what you've put. I'd get him to do everything - Kathryn41 said to do, he needs to get out of this relationship, find someone who is ganna give him respect and love. Get him to make sure he is prepared to remove conditions when the time comes around.

[1HappyGuy 45]

How soon is your friend from being able to remove conditions? If that is still for some time, then I would suggest they try counseling. I suggest this for two reasons. First, they might actually be able to work out their differences. Second, if the wife is truly as terrible as it sounds, then the counselor will note this and it will help bolster his case for applying for an abused spouse.

As far as her threatening to take his green card & documents, he should begin to make all his necessary copies and save them where she can't get them. If this is truly a case of spousal abuse, then he needs to begin the process to document the abuse. Calling the police is difficult but sometimes necessary. He needs to understand that it is very difficult to prove this as a man so caution is advised.