Am I the only one,

[Rocketta 0]

as well? It's really getting old. Let's say it's true, so what. Isn't it as much my right to marry a shallow man from another country as it is to marry one here? Why is it ok to marry for money or looks but not citizenship if both parties are ok with it? Let me clarify though, that is not the case for my relationship but if it was so da #### what.

Edited May 5, 2008 by Rocketta

[SaadBell 0]

It doesn’t matter what you do or what you don’t do, someone, somewhere, will want to drop their knowledge on you. It is hard when you are up against family and friends, but remember, it is your life. If someone says something about Hesham wanting a green card, than I say, he sure is paying a lot for a green card. My husband has more than I do, so not sure what he will get other than a green card, but his youngest daughter is an American citizen, so he could have his daughter sponsor him when she gets of age. If anyone loses in this deal, it isn’t me, kind of hard to get money from me. If my husband was looking for a sweet deal, than he is not doing a good job marring a girl poorer than him? I always joke with him, you could have gotten someone with some bucks to pay for everything, he could never do that, but believe me, people talk. If I really get pissed about people talking negative, I make up stories so they really have something to talk about. Example: you are talking to some awful person you know hates everything, and they say, you are being used, tell them, with a strange faraway look, oh that is ok, I just had him sign this $100,000 life insurance policy. Than start talking about other black widows, guaranteed to stop that nasty green card talk. You may get that strange looks but what fun for you. Be sure to share your fun with us, pictures are always welcome. If you need other off the wall stuff to say when asked about if he is using you please let me know. I have tons of good things, so much fun to have people guessing if you are really insane. You are supported here, and always can vent here about crazy folks. Hang in there girl, and yes you can marry who you want, when you want, and for what you want.

[Rocketta 0]

although I have more than my husband, I don't have much more and half of nothing is still nothing. I do have to point that out occasionally to people.

It is hard when it comes from family and friends. The hardest part is that you know in their mind they think they are helping you or looking out for you. What they don't get is in their zest to protect you they are also insulting you to the core.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Just shocking. Absolutely horrible. How dare they even think such things!

Edited May 5, 2008 by Nagishkaw

[SaadBell 0]

Oh I do know what you are talking about, like I said, make them think. Make sure you get some good true crime books to lie around, make sure you have one on you and reading it. Something horrific, pictures are always welcomed, trust me, they will start to wonder about you, and maybe feel sorry for the husband. lol They will talk no matter what, so give them some real juicy stuff to talk about. I am not a good influence, but i so get tired of people talking about others, without thinking, and it does hurt. But if you use my time and true techniques, you will be on your way to lots of hours of good old fashion fun. I have many of my family freaked out by my hobbies; you too can enjoy this. Hang in there, do what makes you happy, you only have one chance in this life, and life is too short to always worry that someone or something will take advantage of you. I also like to point out the wonderful old fashion marriages of good old American couples, who knew each other very well before marriage. Scott Peterson, perfect example of the great American husband, who snaps, and does horrific damage. So remember America has some great couples who are into blood sports.

[Nasturtium 500]

I think almost everyone hears that from at least one person at some point.

[Aymerlu 3]

I think it's a fairly common statement when your SO is from a MENA country. I had one friend (notice that I said "had") that was always sending me articles about men using women for greencards and anti-muslim emails. One day we were out for lunch and there she goes starting in again. Out of nowhere I said "And your husband is fat, bald, ugly and a drunk! Oh.........what were we talking about again?" That shut her up. She never said anything about my husband again.

[SaadBell 0]

I think it's a fairly common statement when your SO is from a MENA country. I had one friend (notice that I said "had") that was always sending me articles about men using women for greencards and anti-muslim emails. One day we were out for lunch and there she goes starting in again. Out of nowhere I said "And your husband is fat, bald, ugly and a drunk! Oh.........what were we talking about again?" That shut her up. She never said anything about my husband again.

When she was sending you articles you should have sent some yourself, on fat ugly drunk husbands who kill their nagging bitchy wife, and point out signs you see in a man close to her. Oh the fun you could have had, but I think you sumed it up nicly with

husband is fat, bald, ugly and a drunk!

Good job my friend

[Nagishkaw 510]

I think almost everyone hears that from at least one person at some point.

Imagine that.

[Niels Bohr 72]

This is not your life. Don't let it bother you. The more you vent, the more you want to make yourself feel better. However, there will be other people who will want to teach you somethings.

You learn from it, live with it, and learn not to do it again.

[Nagishkaw 510]

This is not your life. Don't let it bother you. The more you vent, the more you want to make yourself feel better. However, there will be other people who will want to teach you somethings.

You learn from it, live with it, and learn not to do it again.

Huh?

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

It's not only MENA. I hear it quite a bit too. It makes me laugh primarily because my fiance is not 100% about coming here. He wanted me to move to Ghana and still does. We finally agreed to live in the US for 5 years and then if he still wanted to, we'd relocate the whole family to Ghana. That gave me just enough time to max out my pension at work so we'd have a cushion. (I started working as an infant) I don't bother to try to explain anything to anyone, cause it's not their business. Usually, I say to them, Yeah, I've heard that before. And then I fall silent. Eventually, they feel uncomfortable with the silence and move on. I'm sick of hearing it though. It's really annoying.

[Nasturtium 500]

Usually, I say to them, Yeah, I've heard that before. And then I fall silent. Eventually, they feel uncomfortable with the silence and move on. I'm sick of hearing it though. It's really annoying.

Heh. Yeah, uncomfortable silence and pointed staring works well in several cases. Sometimes I ask them "why would you even think of saying such a thing?" or "You do realize that is incredibly rude, don't you? Do you have manners?" I sort of lost my tolerance screen for speech a few years ago. I'm probably going to be really cranky as an old lady.

[sara..... 371]

I got that too from x friends and friends of the family at least they could not say that he would leave me after getting green card for someone younger anyone younger than me would not be legal but one lady really got me angry she kept on about how he was coming for green card blah blah blah i said ok

he comes for green card he is a doctor so if he divorces me he will have to pay for the rest of his life not a bad trade huh........omg she got so ticked off told me i was putting a price on myself so i said and what did u just do to me only in my version of it i get rich urs i just suffered.................

[msu17 0]

I got that too and my husband is from the UK! There is always going to be some idiot who thinks they know more about your life and whats best for you than you do. If I was really messing up, then ya, I'd want my parents or close friends to come to me in confidence and explain their concerns, but to have random people and especially loved ones come up and declare your husband is only marrying you because of your citizenship without having any concerns to base that on, its SO demeaning.