For the Unworking and Childless Foreign Wife

[Team J and B 2]

Hey guys, first time in this forum. Hello!

I won't be working once I enter with the K1 and after getting married, though I will have the temp working visa. At this time, it's just not something that's doable. I was thinking of maybe working a few part-time hours at a coffee shop or something down the block, but we'll have to see how busy I can keep myself for the first year!

The husband said I don't need to work, but we both agree if I don't work, then I need to keep busy and not become a lazy fat a$$ watching TV and eating bon bons. And we're both very health and fitness-minded people, like to look good and sexilicious for each other. I would like to take some more schooling, either get an MA, or even just going to cooking school or taking some veterinary assistant courses.

I've planned to volunteer at a local rescue shelter, do yoga, learn to cook, and look at housing with the realtor when hubby is at work.

So for those of you who are not working, what do YOU do to keep busy?

Edited March 15, 2008 by Team J and B

[Jeraly 4]

I have the same issue - I know I will need to work but I am not realistically expecting to find work before Christmas after I move out in June because of when we will be filing and the length of time it will take me to find a job anyway.

I want to have a go at setting up my own jewellery business, join a gym, decorate, work in the garden, do volunteer work, go back to school... I am sure I want to do other things as well but I don't know what. I am also tempted to join a church because although I am not religious, I think the sense of community spirit in a church is awesome and I would love to be a part of that... either that or find a Buddhist temple because I have more of an affinity to Buddhism than Christianity... Just something I am interested in I guess...

Also I want to find some geek friends in my area who like to roleplay so if anyone has any ideas on how I can find geeks then that would be great

[StillThePrettiest 4]

I'll be spending quite a bit of time setting up the house, starting the garden, etc... and we've agreed that while I'm not working, and Dave's working full time, housework will be mainly my area; I'm all for a fair split, but not if I'm home and he's not

I've also made contact with a volunteer association that teaches English to adults, mainly new migrants (ironically ), and they're champing at the bit to have me - apparently they'll even take people with no teacher training, they're so desperate for teachers, so someone with my experience is a bit unusual!

so I'll get into that as soon as I can

and then, yeah, the usual - we'll hopefully find a church, or at least a church community (I'm a Christian, but not a great fan of church, so might find something a bit more alternative), and spend time with family, and so on

[Jeraly 4]

I've also made contact with a volunteer association that teaches English to adults, mainly new migrants (ironically ), and they're champing at the bit to have me - apparently they'll even take people with no teacher training, they're so desperate for teachers, so someone with my experience is a bit unusual!

so I'll get into that as soon as I can

Is this paid? Sounds great - would love to look into that if you have any links

As for church - they have all kinds of crazy churches in the US so I am sure you can find something a little less drab than we get here

[TheATeam 0]

I'm really excited to work on my health and fitness level actually. I've got some extra weight to drop, and even though I'm doing a good job of it right now while I work full time, it will be even better when I don't have a job. I'm also really looking forward to being a housewife! How silly does that sound?! I can't wait to cook and clean though! I have been looking into volunteer work as well. I think I want to find something to do with horses! I LOVE horses.

I have no idea about a job later on though. I'm not really trained to do anything in specific so it may be difficult, but I've got some great ideas for my own business so we'll see how that pans out! Maybe I'll spend time testing my cupcake recipes!

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Actually, does anyone know if it's possible to do unpaid/voluntary work for a regular company without a work permit? I'd like to get back into architecture since that's what my degree is in but I lack work experience, so if I could use the first few months that I'm unable to work to gain work experience in an architect's office I'd love to do that.

I'd love to decorate/set up house/do the garden...only I won't be able to as we're going to be staying at Alex's parents...d'oh! I'll still be able to prepare meals and cook and clean, though, which are chores I love to do

[Kathryn41 3,205]

You can volunteer at a place where it is a job that would normally not be paid and will not become a paid job after you receive your EAD, from my understanding. I volunteered doing living history activities at local historical sites and taking living history programmes into primary schools. (I made contact with a local historical site and offered to volunteer). I also spent a lot of time just becoming familiar with the area - driving around, trying to re-orient myself (I had no sense of direction when I arrived - all of my reference points were changed), learning about my new community, doing the things on my own like getting my SSN, going for biometrics (first trip to Atlanta on my own!). I re-organized the house and furniture, and started the garden. Joe had a bird feeder set up, and I discovered that I enjoyed birdwatching. We now have 9 feeding stations and lots of birds! I also spent a lot of time talking to my friends on line - it was a continuity that helped me to adjust to my new home because it was still familiar. I also had my cats with me that helped, and unfortunately, my eldest had a very rough drive down and was sick for the next 6 weeks after our arrival so I spent a lot of time with her as well. She is buried in a small garden behind the house. I really regretted not knowing more about better vets in the area as the first clinic we went to did not impress me. I didn't discover the one I use now until after she died., I don't know if it would have made a difference or not, but I can't help wondering.

Hehehe, I also spend a lot of time trying to avoid doing housework - it don't enjoy it at all! Laundry is fine, cooking is fine, cleaning house sucks, however, while Joe works long hours earning money, it is the job I do to contribute to the household. I still only work very part time.

[tucson_chick 0]

Actually, does anyone know if it's possible to do unpaid/voluntary work for a regular company without a work permit? I'd like to get back into architecture since that's what my degree is in but I lack work experience, so if I could use the first few months that I'm unable to work to gain work experience in an architect's office I'd love to do that.

I'd love to decorate/set up house/do the garden...only I won't be able to as we're going to be staying at Alex's parents...d'oh! I'll still be able to prepare meals and cook and clean, though, which are chores I love to do

well - i can tell you what i am doing during the day (not working / seeking employment and childless): in the mornings while Eric gets ready i do a quick morning-clean-up and prepare our lunch boxes. then we bike to the university together (6miles each way). he works at the university and i spend the day in the library, looking for jobs. i usually leave in the early afternoon, bike back home and do laundry, prepare dinner, water the plants in the yard and do some decorating and stuff.

so at the moment i'm the housewife and my goal is to send out 5+ applications per week.

plus i do some of our finances and take care of general stuff.

i am looking into tutoring german at the university after spring break. if i don't find a job soon i will try to find a parttime job in a coffee job or something to keep me busy and to bring some money in my account.

we are in a fairly cool church, but lately we are looking for another church as we both need more meat, less milk.

it is really hard on me to stay at home, in the house while eric's at work. by the time he gets home i'm desperate for social contact and he needs some time to unwind and to relax - a really good basis for a really bad fight.

[StillThePrettiest 4]

the place I found is voluntary, Aly - I don't know if they have anyone paid on their books, but obviously I'm not at that stage yet!

I think some architects' offices take on unpaid interns, which should fit the bill - you could look into it, Alex/Rachel

and I'm looking forward to keeping house too! I do so much work here in my share house that is either unnoticed or undone in the next twenty minutes - I still do it because I hate to live in a dump, but it's difficult... can't WAIT til it gets done and STAYS done (or at least, only gets undone by one of us )

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Thank you for the feedback, Kathryn41 and StillThePrettiest! I hope there's an architect's office near me taking on interns, then, or else it looks as if I'm out of luck!

tucson_chick - 5 applications a week is a good goal -I wish you the best of luck!

[Jason-Sasha 1]

Oh my. I hope you all have some wealthy fiances. Sounds like a lot of hobbies and freetime here. Might I suggest some crosswords, watching water boil, catching flies, counting leaves, etc. I'm joking of course. You all should take some time to adjust and make future plans. I'd give Sasha all the time she wants. But, she's very eager to continue working and help contribute. I'm such a lucky guy. though, I will try to keep her from working for the first month or 2. Don't know if she'll agree.

[StillThePrettiest 4]

oh, don't worry; I've got all manner of schemes to help contribute... when it's legal

even before then, I'll do what I can - volunteering with an English-teaching agency will hopefully get me American experience, and an American reference at the end, which will be of use later (assuming I stay in the teaching field ), and of course having some enforced spare time will allow me to research jobs and hopefully be in a far better position when I start to apply than if I had to do everything straight off the bat...

plus, I'm great at budgeting, and making a little go a long way - Dave's not BAD at that, and we both have savings, but I intend to make them go as far as possible

[Jeraly 4]

it is really hard on me to stay at home, in the house while eric's at work. by the time he gets home i'm desperate for social contact and he needs some time to unwind and to relax - a really good basis for a really bad fight.

Agnes - I can totally relate to this - when I was out there for the summer Jeremy would come home and I would be raring to go - I wanted to go out and do things and go to the store and all he wanted to do was put his feet up!!! He was pretty patient but I am sure we fought because of it - I wasn't very understanding

Oh my. I hope you all have some wealthy fiances. Sounds like a lot of hobbies and freetime here. Might I suggest some crosswords, watching water boil, catching flies, counting leaves, etc. I'm joking of course. You all should take some time to adjust and make future plans. I'd give Sasha all the time she wants. But, she's very eager to continue working and help contribute. I'm such a lucky guy. though, I will try to keep her from working for the first month or 2. Don't know if she'll agree.

How did you know this is what I intend to do for the rest of my life when I am in the US? I am still researching places that will pay me to do it...

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Oh my. I hope you all have some wealthy fiances. Sounds like a lot of hobbies and freetime here. Might I suggest some crosswords, watching water boil, catching flies, counting leaves, etc. I'm joking of course. You all should take some time to adjust and make future plans. I'd give Sasha all the time she wants. But, she's very eager to continue working and help contribute. I'm such a lucky guy. though, I will try to keep her from working for the first month or 2. Don't know if she'll agree.

It isn't necessarily that simple. I am fortunate in that my husband does make a very good salary and we actually have to be aware of the tax implications when I do work (I work part time). That being said, however, when I arrived I did not have work authorization until I had been here 6 months so it was not even a possibility to work. I worked every single year of my adult life supporting myself until I moved here in two fields that are highly specialized - one so specialized that there is no US equivalent. The other is other highly specialized and thus there are very few opportunities available in my area. So, if I don't NEED to 'settle' for any job working at minimum wage with no benefits, no holidays, long hours PLUS do all off the house and yard maintenance and cooking, then why do so? I would love to continue working in the fields in which I have training and experience - and am working part time in the one that is available, however, I firmly believe that if it is at all possible, it is important to work at something you enjoy doing since you will spending so many hours doing so rather than just work for work. I am very fortunate that I have that option and can appreciate that there are others who do not. I certainly do not mean any slight to those who do not have that option.

I also have a friend who is in a similar situation to me. She has been here 3 years, is highly trained and would love more than anything to have a job right now - any job. In spite of her many applications to all sorts of employers - even local restaurants - she is still looking. It is not necessarily that simple.

Edited March 16, 2008 by Kathryn41

[The Robinsons 0]

Wow I see some of you guys are definitely alot better off than we were. When we first moved here I was able to work but it took me 8 months to find a job due to the area we live in. I don't have a degree in anything. All I have is a 3 year business certificate. But it seemed that because my resume wasn't the typical american one and it looked funny on the application the big corporations steered clear of me. I couldn't even get a job at walmart, not even a call back despite working in retail since I was 15.

It also took my husband over 2 months to find a 20-30 hr a week job. And he is a certified fitness professional. He's been working that same job ever since we got over here so our finances were VERY limited. It has helped out alot now that I finally got a job even though it's minimum wage.

But for the 8 months I didn't work since we didn't have any money to spend I had to get creative. Thank God we live with his family so there would always be someone around the house. 3 days a week they would babysit his niece's new born son. So I would help out with him as much as I could during the day. Other than that I would jump at every chance to go to the store every day to pick up one or two things, go with his family members places...even if they just had to go pay bills.

We live in NC so summer time there's no way you can do anything outside. So I was confined to the indoors. After cleaning our room, doing laundry, sorting CDs in alphabetical order, reorganizing the closet (this case my suitcase doubles as my closet) every few days, polishing shoes, ironing towels, doing my hair and make-up...all there was left was well the computer (VJ!!!) and TV. I can tell you want comes on when on what channel every afternoon....(don't worry we don't have cable so it's only 5 channels).

In the end I've ended up setting up a little 'business' if you can call it that. Once his family found out I could do hair and braid they started paying me 5-10 dollars to do their hair. They save money and I make money. Now it has extended to friends and friends of friends.

But all I can say is I'm sooooooooo greatful to be working now. Even though it's not a very good job it's better than sitting at home being bored. Not saying that if my husband gets a good paying job and we have some kids I wouldn't want to quit or cut down my hours.....because I might.

I'm also planning to go back to school this summer to become a CNA. It's fast, cheap, the job you get pays just a little bit better but the benefits (read: health insurance) are awesome.