Positive and Negative Opinions please!!

[broma25 2]

Am I too old at 44 to be considering becoming a mother.

All positive and negative thoughts and opinions greatly appreciated

[Otto 83]

Mentally/emotionally I think 44 is fine - you are (assuming) mature, wise and educated enough to do a good job.

Physically can really depend on you - the individual. There are or can be health issues, even risks that a younger woman may not have to face, both in development and labor/child-birth. This is something best left to the advice of medical professionals. There are many success stories for 40+ women giving birth, and the medical field is pretty well equipped to handle most any situation, but careful evaluation of medical advice should be done. Best wishes...

[Alex+R 0]

Are you asking because you're pregnant? If so, congrats. If not, why not consider adoption? I hear you should work out a lot before having a baby around, at any age.

[broma25 2]

I am not pregnant, but we are now considering having a child. I did not marry until I was 38 and have been in the states for 3 years almost. Its only now that I feel settled enough to even consider bringing a child into the world. I do have concerns about being 44 although to be honest I do not feel any different to when I was in my 30's.

I just wanted to ask for opinions thats all.

Thanks to those who answered!

[William33 110]

I would check with your OB/GYN Doctor, to discuss issues and risks.

All the best to you.

[Mary Lou 682]

I think as long as your doctor is comfortable with you being pregnant, ie: any health concerns cause you are over age 40, and you and your husband feel ready, i say go for it! Good Luck with whatever you decide.

[Cassandra+Yuibi 0]

My aunt had many troubles conceiving children (but with much effort had two beautiful girls). Around her 40th birthday she started feeling really moody & just off. She went to the doctor assuming she was starting menopause only to find out she was pregnant with her third child! She had no troubles during her pregnancy, and I know many other people over 40 who have had successful & safe pregnancies.

A lot of it is just taking all the necessary precautions during your pregnancy- but there is still a chance of troubles due to the fact that women are born with all of the eggs they will ever have. The older you become the older your eggs become. Deteriorated (old) eggs can lead to having children with abnormalities such as down syndrome. (It's not a guarantee of problems, you're just more likely than a younger woman)

I would suggest that you and your husband get tested for any kind of genetic diseases that you could pass to your children if you are really concerned about having a child with some sort of abnormality. It's not a guarantee, but it can definately help you if you are afraid of passing something on to your children and want to know what you are up against.

Edited February 17, 2008 by Cassandra+Yuibi

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

It's up to you and no one else. Some things are personal. You might think about keeping it that way.

[broma25 2]

Thanks for the replies, most helpful......

[Aymerlu 3]

I know when I worked in OB for a short time anyone 35 and older was automatically considered high risk. I saw many older moms have perfectly healthy babies and of course I saw the sad things. The good did outweigh the bad though. If you are in good physical health and your dcotor gives you the ok, go for it.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Several of my female relatives have had babies "late in life". One was told she'd never be able to have children, and had 3, one at 48. Another had a second at 50, 22 years after her first. All were conceived naturally and are doing well. Anything can happen; the best advice is to be realistic about what's involved in raising a child and be sure you're up to it.

[Flames9_RN 359]

Im a RN student nurse,so I only know what my text books tell me! Can someone over the age of 44 have a healthy baby, yes of course they can. The magic # they use in the books is 35. After 35 your chances of "things" going wrong increase. Such as increased incidence of chronic disease, baby anomalies. As well one has to think about their support group. many people in the age groups friends have already given birth and their children are much older. Again this is only what the textbook states. Everyone--not just older--should talk to a dr,ON, Nurse practitioner before getting pregnant and to ask various questions that way one is prepared and you can make an informed decision. In getting pregnant there is always a risk to all mothers!! I'm doing a Obstetrics rotation right now, and just last week saw a few mothers in their 40's that had healthy babies, but each case is different, talk to you Dr. so you can make that informed decision. Best of luck

[Caladan 19]

You'll automatically, medically speaking, be counted as a high risk pregnancy because you're over 35. But beyond that it's pretty much up to your individual genetics as to whether you can get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have a healthy baby. Your OB/GYN will be able to help you determine a good course of action, but usually it's just lots of extra monitoring.

[Mags 112]

One additional thing to consider is that the older you get the harder it is to conceive as well. The average time it takes a human to conceive is around 6 months (on average), when you hit your 40s it can take longer. If you do the math it means you may be 45/46 when you do conceive. Add 9 months to that for the pregnancy and you may be looking at 47.

Other points to consider are:

You'd have a mad toddler running around when you are in your 50s.

You'd probably be mistaken for Grandma at the school gates when your child starts to go to school.

When your child graduates or goes to college you would possibly be in your late 60s.

When that child gets married you could be in your 80s.

When your child has a child of its own you may not even be around.

Sounds harsh? Probably. But switch it around and see it from the child's perspective now too...

I do want to add that I think that as long as a woman is producing eggs she can try to have a baby. In the UK I worked for a Genetics lab which was joined to a Fetal Medicine Unit (we tested fetus' for genetic abnormalities etc). I saw hundreds of women over 40, but only a handful of times did we see a woman over 45. In 8 years. At that age the body IS winding down and preparing for menopause which ever way you look at it, so don't get your hopes up too much - I'd hate for you to get depressed if it doesn't happen.

Here's the Down Syndrome Age Risk, in case you are interested:

32 1/725

33 1/592

34 1/465

35 1/365

36 1/287

37 1/255

38 1/177

39 1/139

40 1/109

41 1/85

42 1/67

43 1/53

44 1/41

45 1/32

46 1/25

47 1/20

48 1/16

49 1/12

Finally, I don't mean to be negative, having a child can be great at any age, but being informed is also great too.

Good luck, Broma, in what ever you decide.

[Alex+R 0]

Heh Mags, I knew you'd show up.

Question, while you're here: Can a woman freeze her eggs that she produces in her 20s and then use them later like at 38-40?

PS sorry OP I know that question doesn't apply to you. Not hijacking I swear.