Threatening me to go back home or stay after the Greencard then he will divorce me.

[Nutty 2]

Hi! I got here in US through k1 fiance visa. During the day of our marriage he almost got killed me in the car. Then he told me that he just needed me here to become his housemaid and if i dont want to,he told me to go back to Philippines. After that event,things have changed.He always yell at me and blame me for a miserable life. I cannot just call a police because he warned me already that if i will call a police He dont know what he can do to me.I am scared. Then last night and several times he told me to choose between: to go back home or to wait for the greencard then he will divorce me. What kind of husband is he?Just because i told him that he will be the one to wash the dishes he used,he wants me to choose between those two options..Please do help.we didnt file adjustment of status yet,but it is set on friday which i dont know if he wants to or not.What will i do?

First thing is to go to a Woman's Protective Shelter. This is basically a safety house for woman who are abused by their husbands and boyfriends.

[Brian&Mel 0]

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Firstly, you should get out from that relationship and be at a safe place where he can't threaten you. Your safety should be your priority and you can worry about others later.

Hope you will be OK soon.

[damulag 26]

We have a friend whose husband made her get out of the car in a bad neighborhood and left her. She called someone to pick her up and then filed a police report. Later they got divorced ,less than two months of marriage, she then self petitioned and her GC interview was about 5 minutes and they approved her. They said that she met the spirit of the visa when she married in good faith but married a bad guy. Just make sure that your abuse is documented.

[zqt3344 21]

It is simple, go back home to Phillipines, get out of the relationship and leave the USA, why stay since it is not going to work out.

Hi! I got here in US through k1 fiance visa. During the day of our marriage he almost got killed me in the car. Then he told me that he just needed me here to become his housemaid and if i dont want to,he told me to go back to Philippines. After that event,things have changed.He always yell at me and blame me for a miserable life. I cannot just call a police because he warned me already that if i will call a police He dont know what he can do to me.I am scared. Then last night and several times he told me to choose between: to go back home or to wait for the greencard then he will divorce me. What kind of husband is he?Just because i told him that he will be the one to wash the dishes he used,he wants me to choose between those two options..Please do help.we didnt file adjustment of status yet,but it is set on friday which i dont know if he wants to or not.What will i do?

[bakofoil 27]

It is simple, go back home to Phillipines, get out of the relationship and leave the USA, why stay since it is not going to work out.

What's simple is the obvious agenda behind your comment. I suggest the OP considers the constructive advice given in the more helpful posts that came beforehand.

[mox 298]

It is simple, go back home to Phillipines, get out of the relationship and leave the USA, why stay since it is not going to work out.

zqt, Are you offering to pay her plane ticket? Put her up in a hotel until she finds a job and place to live? Pay for her meals and other expenses while she tries to put a life back together? Replace all the clothes and furniture and other things a person needs to live?

No? But it's so *simple.* Oh wait...what's that other word that works better? Oh yeah...HARD. Try thinking things through a little more before you start copy-catting an agenda that you don't completely understand.

[panamania79 2]

Hi! I got here in US through k1 fiance visa. During the day of our marriage he almost got killed me in the car. Then he told me that he just needed me here to become his housemaid and if i dont want to,he told me to go back to Philippines. After that event,things have changed.He always yell at me and blame me for a miserable life. I cannot just call a police because he warned me already that if i will call a police He dont know what he can do to me.I am scared. Then last night and several times he told me to choose between: to go back home or to wait for the greencard then he will divorce me. What kind of husband is he?Just because i told him that he will be the one to wash the dishes he used,he wants me to choose between those two options..Please do help.we didnt file adjustment of status yet,but it is set on friday which i dont know if he wants to or not.What will i do?

Your life is way more important than the AOS.Get out of this dangerous situation ASAP.I will be praying for you.

[tammy2688 1]

Blossom, go online for some shelters in your area please keep yourself safe and if need be, go back home with some time and money in hand

I wish you the best, you are in our prayers

Tammy

[coolgt 0]

just wait for the green card and get a divorce or call the abuse hotline.

it is your option actually, here in the US one doesn't have any friend or relative will be harsh. beside your husband is that all his life will be that way he won't change.

so you have to make a decision either wait for the green card and start a new life here in the US or go back to the Philippines start old life which is will be never be the same.

[bombay 0]

Really sorry to hear about ur situation but i feel you should worry about ur own life and safety.

if u can get ur greencard great but if u think it can be a problem the guess what????

join the military like in the navy u will be ok and you will have a place to live make a decent income and stay away from your husband also and file for divorce.

And once ur in the military you dont have to wait nomatter what status ur on everyone in the military is eligible for citizenship.

In my case i joined the military and chose the same place where i lived before joining to be stationed so that i could stay with my wife and we are very happy together thank god.

I got my citizenship in 2 months from the time i applied .

anyway take care and be safe

god bless.

[Dakine 26]

Things like that are happening more and more. Peeps arn't getting to know each other that well doing LDRs.

LOTS of filipinas will "look the other way" just to get to the US hoping for a better life for themselves and their families. At the same time guys can be looking for a housekeeper and sex partner!

Sometimes things go way past that and you have HAPPY marriage.

SOMETIMES NOT!!

USCIS should require multiple visits.

If I were the pinay I'd hang in there until she gets GC and let him divorce her.

She can then remove conditions and get the 10 year GC.

Edited February 26, 2008 by Haole

[♥Sora_9_Dam3a♥ 0]

sweety, i'm so sorry you had to go through this...please be safe and take care...i wish you all the best, you're in my prayers..

[Key 0]

Hi! I got here in US through k1 fiance visa. During the day of our marriage he almost got killed me in the car. Then he told me that he just needed me here to become his housemaid and if i dont want to,he told me to go back to Philippines. After that event,things have changed.He always yell at me and blame me for a miserable life. I cannot just call a police because he warned me already that if i will call a police He dont know what he can do to me.I am scared. Then last night and several times he told me to choose between: to go back home or to wait for the greencard then he will divorce me. What kind of husband is he?Just because i told him that he will be the one to wash the dishes he used,he wants me to choose between those two options..Please do help.we didnt file adjustment of status yet,but it is set on friday which i dont know if he wants to or not.What will i do?

You need to ask help and used the CFO training everything is there..you don't need to worry for AOS its better to go back home if don't have enough time for filing your AOS.

Hope you will be ok take care always and always pray

[tito 1]

"LOTS of filipinas will "look the other way" just to get to the US hoping for a better life for themselves and their families. At the same time guys can be looking for a housekeeper and sex partner!

Sometimes things go way past that and you have HAPPY marriage.

SOMETIMES NOT!!

USCIS should require multiple visits."

Indeed, they should! This is not something common just to Filipinas, by any means. People generally might have different hopes and expectations - a relationship where people are from different cultures, different parts of the world, different backgrounds, is a tough one no matter what country is involved. Things between a couple aren't the same once the immigrant comes to the US. Back in their native land, the relationship is built on a relationship nurtured by the atmosphere of a visit...of a vacation...by the USC, where the immigrant acts a certain way to appease the USC. Perhaps the immigrant cannot sustain that act once he or she arrives in the US, or perceives a change in the attitude of the USC once he or she gets here that is a consequence merely of the different types of obligations and stresses that life in the US brings. Maybe the USC expected the immigrant to be more supportive and understanding, and therein lies the inherent conflict. In the end, things can be and often are blown out of proportion to serve as justification for the demise of the relationship so that the immigrant can get the green card to which, perhaps, they feel entitled. Some of these threads seem like they can be cut and pasted repeatedly. Well, life in the US with the stresses and demands of the lifestyle here is not the same as a vacation or 2, 3 or 4 week at a time trip back home, and as much as the immigrant thinks he or she can hack it once they get here, in many, many cases, the immigrant just doesn't have any idea about the circumstances.

Who should bear the risk in the relationship? Should we line up behind the immigrant to make sure the poor defenseless soul gets to stay in the US? Or, should the immigrant contemplate returning home as an option? Is there a way to accommodate both, because both parties share responsibility for the relationship? Is every misconception or unsatisfied pre-conception always "abuse"? Seems rather odd that, in these threads, it is.

[mox 298]

Who should bear the risk in the relationship? Should we line up behind the immigrant to make sure the poor defenseless soul gets to stay in the US? Or, should the immigrant contemplate returning home as an option?

Are you looking for a blanket one-size-fits-all answer to this question?

"poor defenseless soul" seems to indicate you are not interested in finding the real answer to your questions. Sounds like yet another example of your anti-immigrant agenda.

Is there a way to accommodate both, because both parties share responsibility for the relationship? Is every misconception or unsatisfied pre-conception always "abuse"? Seems rather odd that, in these threads, it is.

Why would you equate "misconception or unsatisfied preconception" to "abuse?" Instead of these "wink-wink nudge-nudge" type monologues, why don't you just come right out and say what you are implying?