ababdonment

[Jeraly 4]

To the OP - you also know your OH better than any of us here and so you are in the best situation to make a judgment of her character. We can give you opinions and advice (no matter how different) but only you truly know her. The rest is based on our own experiences and opinions

Let us know how it goes

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I have actually talked with a fellow in the fraud unit here in Seattle, and he informed me that once a person files the I-360 the US Sponsor is cut off from any information concerning the Aliens case. Also the US Sponsor is no longer envolved with them adjusting statis and if the Alien is approved, the US sponsor is in relieved of all sponsorship.

So what ever papers you filed will not apply to that Alien, but what he didn't tell me is what the future implications are, as far as the US Sponsor being bad mouthed.

TITO, I believe your right with your claims of people using the I-360 as a path to citizenship, my ex-husband did the exact same thing but he's from Nigeria, and he was a medical doctor there, once he arrived here and we married he convinced me to let him stay at home and study for the medical exams here ( He attended University of Lagos Luth so all he needs to do is take test here in America not redo his whole studies ) while I worked pregnant with his child that he named Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. Once I filed for adjustment of statis he really beginned to act out and eventually moved out for good. What people don't seem to realize is that the people that use this method as a path to citizenship never intended to be in the relationship very long.

The US citizen is in the dark until it's too late many times, because we get to thinking about all that we invested in our Alien spouse's and we tend to think that we can make it work, but as many find out no matter what you do, if that person married you for immigration benifits, there's nothing you can do as the American sponsor to make it work, such as my situation. My Ex married me for benefits, while I was helping him and showing love, he turned all that around on me and claimed that I made him take medical test, and treated him like a slave.

The spectrum is broad as far as countries using this method to gain American benefits, many don't and won't no they have been used until it's too late, they think they are picking up a lifetime partner from the POE only to find a gradual on going (increasing ) nitemare.

By the time you finally wake up and realize that this Alien has used you and don't care nothing about you they have already went on their own to the immigration office and complained about the US sponsor being abrusive, which will trigger the I-360, which will shut down all that you have filed for them and shut you ( the USC ) out of your aliens case, at the same time it opens up a way for them to gain immigration benefits on their own. Once they file the I-360 anything you send into the immigration office can't be used against their I-360 filing. (Recently found that out from the fraud officer in Seattle )

So in short to bet them at this fraud you must send information in to immigration office thru other people like friends and such. Any information YOU as the accused abruser try to send cannot be used against their I-360.

So people once you believe that this kind of fraud is taking place in your relationship, DO make sure that you have your ducks in line, with affidavits from any and everyone that knows your Alien spouse, have them send them in, NOT you, if you send them the law is immigration office can't accept any information from a accused spouse, however they can from other people you both no.

So don't delay, get affidavits, and you can even go and see a psych doctor and have them write a note in your behalf. Unfortunately I don't know what statis the US Spouse is put into ( if any ) once a I-360 is granted for an Alien, but I intend to try an find out. If anyone knows please let me know.

Why would you let him do such a terrible thing??

[TracyTN 237]

Funny how 98% of tito's posts are in the 'Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits' forum.

Buy a new record, tito - the one you're playing is broken.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

In the legal practice, it's not just HIS wife...but the story repeats itself over and over and over and over and over and over again...same scenario, and the person is immaterial. Same set-up, same circumstances, same country, same time frame, everything is the same. Don't need to know anybody, husband or wife, to warn of the scenario that he could be facing and, in my professional opinion, one he will likely face given the totality of the circumstances. Sorry. Wish it were different...! I'm NOT judging the person...I am judging the circumstances. You are the one making a judgment of my view and opinion given my background and experience of which you know very little. This is supposed to be a forum of frank discussions regarding a very difficult emotional situation for those who participate here. No sense treating it with kidd gloves...the situation needs to be exposed for what it is, however much it hurts, and I know it does hurt.

Tito, just because it has happened before does NOT mean that it will happen in the OP's case. Once more you are rushing head long into a topic and making rash and judgemental comments without anything to back it up in the OP's case.

Posts like the one where you claim his wife will say he kept her as a slave are downright scaremongering and out of place in this particular area of the forum. Additionally, this area of the forum is more of a support system for people in the most direst of predicaments. Judgement and harsh comments are not required or warranted here.

Actually, I hope this forum, one that I rallied for, and continue to spend the vast majority of my time and effort in is more than just a support system for people in dire predicaments. I hope it is a source of helpful information, and discussion, to include anecdotal. Tito might be painting with a wide brush in this discussion, and that is neither wise nor respectful to the OP, but if you look beyond the generalisations, his point of view is both viable and valuable. Let's not lose sight of the fact that tito, in this case, has valuable personal experience and insight to offer. We have to learn to be tolerant and sort through to extract what is factual from that which might be coloured with a little residual emotion and disappointment.

[Jeraly 4]

Tracy - not so easy to be all doom and gloom in the progress forums where people are being supportive, happy and trying to look on the bright side of things in the face of adversity

[Mags 112]

Actually, I hope this forum, one that I rallied for, and continue to spend the vast majority of my time and effort in is more than just a support system for people in dire predicaments. I hope it is a source of helpful information, and discussion, to include anecdotal.

Absolutely. However, my main point is that we tend to be less judgemental in this forum, we don't jump to conclusions without getting the facts and there is absolutely NO popcorn allowed here.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Actually, I hope this forum, one that I rallied for, and continue to spend the vast majority of my time and effort in is more than just a support system for people in dire predicaments. I hope it is a source of helpful information, and discussion, to include anecdotal.

Absolutely. However, my main point is that we tend to be less judgemental in this forum, we don't jump to conclusions without getting the facts and there is absolutely NO popcorn allowed here.

Oh my God. No popcorn? Nobody will come here

[Jenn! 918]

It's so hard not to jump to conclusions when you read posts about the best website to find your soulmate, then come here and see that the OP is disappointed in losing his 10K investment.

I don't know how the OP met his wife, but I don't think some suggestion that there *is* a pattern is so out of line.

[zqt3344 21]

Sorry Mags but Tito is correct and right on to an extent. Mox, TracyTN and any others upset at Tito, hate to say it but Tito is right to extent, it can and it does happen and make no mistake about it, whether it is Russia or whatever country there are some very sneaky dishonest spouses out there, and there always will be. Truth is and speaking from first hand knowledge, I have witnessed and seen and know people that have experienced what Tito says happens with Russian spouses, and for that matter other spouses from other countries, so we all realize there is good and bad in all races and cultures even our own. But all Tito is doing is trying to help Abandoned who is in a real mess now asking for help, which Abandoned better get ready, I am afraid Tito is telling you the sad truth of what is probably going to happen to you next, which I realize there will be several on here reading this clamoring on and going off but it is the truth.

Sadly Tito is correct, there is a high rate of scammers from Russia that most certainly know how to play the game and they are coached and just waiting to make their move. I have even had my own spouse warn me to stop and warn any of my friends that think they are going to meet a sweet little innocent girl/woman from Russia with mail order or online dating services in Russia, it was made clear to me that not all people from Russia are in it for love, and hey only want to get out of their dire country and to the USA for that GC. Mind you this coming from someone who is one of those "all Russian wifes" that Tito is talking about. I do not know why everyone gets so worked up and takes such offense to Tito, he is very informative and accurate, brutal honesty hurst sometimes. And this is coming from someone that would know, which I have had my eyes opened and I have been enlightened a great deal on Russian brides, for I was very naive and could never imagine someone doing what has just happened to Abandoned. Tito appears to have some legal training or knowledge of such matters, so why not gain as much from him or her as possible on here and see if he can offer even more advice, then it is up to each of us to go do our own homework and see if it is workable and good advice after all.

Good luck Abandoned, better check more with Tito, he is at least giving you the worst case scenario and being honesty which is what you need now, and you better start looking out for yourself, because I can guarantee you that your spouse is and she is getting aid and coaching from people that know exactly how to play you, get ready.

Actually, I hope this forum, one that I rallied for, and continue to spend the vast majority of my time and effort in is more than just a support system for people in dire predicaments. I hope it is a source of helpful information, and discussion, to include anecdotal.

Absolutely. However, my main point is that we tend to be less judgemental in this forum, we don't jump to conclusions without getting the facts and there is absolutely NO popcorn allowed here.

[TracyTN 237]

Advice to protect oneself and to consider different possibilities would be good and helpful. To state emphatically the motives of the spouse who we have absolutely no knowledge of except that she's made some friends while here in the states and has run off are not only wide-brushed, but threaten to destroy an already volatile situation. We can sit here and postulate in an academic-like fashion about how worthy are the contributions of a poster, but unfortunately tito seems to have snagged himself a live one and is content to let that baby wriggle on the hook for as long as it interests him, without having to endure the consequences. This is what's so frustrating. I'm sorry if tito's experienced the type of pain he describes, but if I started handing out advice based on my previous marriage then I'd be counseling everyone who has a wife to divorce her right the hell now because she is cheating on him. We all have battle scars but it doesn't mean we have to turn our internal pain outwards onto others. And it's certainly not always helpful or valuable, especially here.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Sorry Mags but Tito is correct and right on to an extent. Mox, TracyTN and any others upset at Tito, hate to say it but Tito is right to extent, it can and it does happen and make no mistake about it, whether it is Russia or whatever country there are some very sneaky dishonest spouses out there, and there always will be. Truth is and speaking from first hand knowledge, I have witnessed and seen and know people that have experienced what Tito says happens with Russian spouses, and for that matter other spouses from other countries, so we all realize there is good and bad in all races and cultures even our own. But all Tito is doing is trying to help Abandoned who is in a real mess now asking for help, which Abandoned better get ready, I am afraid Tito is telling you the sad truth of what is probably going to happen to you next, which I realize there will be several on here reading this clamoring on and going off but it is the truth.

Mainly, I'd like to think that Tito is wrong and most couples are in it for love, and yeah there are some people that are in it to abuse the system but that they are a small porcentage.

The heat I think comes from Tito generalizing and attacking women from X country, instead of providing advice for the OP's specific situation. Something in the lines of "here are possible scenarios blah blah and you might want to do this and that to protect yourself just in case..." I think would have been better received than "almost all women from X country will (insert terrible thing here) and there is this big conspiracy behind it with people coaching her on how to do it".

Saludos,

Caro

[garya505 2]

Sorry Mags but Tito is correct and right on to an extent. Mox, TracyTN and any others upset at Tito, hate to say it but Tito is right to extent, it can and it does happen and make no mistake about it, whether it is Russia or whatever country there are some very sneaky dishonest spouses out there, and there always will be. Truth is and speaking from first hand knowledge, I have witnessed and seen and know people that have experienced what Tito says happens with Russian spouses, and for that matter other spouses from other countries, so we all realize there is good and bad in all races and cultures even our own. But all Tito is doing is trying to help Abandoned who is in a real mess now asking for help, which Abandoned better get ready, I am afraid Tito is telling you the sad truth of what is probably going to happen to you next, which I realize there will be several on here reading this clamoring on and going off but it is the truth.

Mainly, I'd like to think that Tito is wrong and most couples are in it for love, and yeah there are some people that are in it to abuse the system but that they are a small porcentage.

The heat I think comes from Tito generalizing and attacking women from X country, instead of providing advice for the OP's specific situation. Something in the lines of "here are possible scenarios blah blah and you might want to do this and that to protect yourself just in case..." I think would have been better received than "almost all women from X country will (insert terrible thing here) and there is this big conspiracy behind it with people coaching her on how to do it".

Saludos,

Caro

I agree with you. While it appears in this case that tito could be right, we all know that such cases are a small fraction. And to generalize about the people from any country - for example women from Russia, Ukraine, Philippines, China, Viet Nam, or men from Africa or the middle east, is insulting. We've all heard the generalizations and stereotypes, and of course some of us have been personally insulted. Still, that shouldn't keep us from forming an opinion on a particular case, such as this one. We should also keep in mind here that we only got one side of the story here. While the OP presents a story that strongly suggets that his wife is an opportunist, it's also possible that the OP is a lousy or abusive husband, and his wife just needed to get out. Anything is possible.

[FaSa2008 0]

OK this got a lil out of hand and defeated the purpose

Tito was just giving a comment out of other experiences he have heard! Im sure some Russians got insulted but hey one deserves to have an opinion especially if that perosn has seen it happened many many many times!

Mox drop it!

Abandonded, talk to a lawyer and see what u can do ...

it sounds she had an agenda and its gonna attack u soon!

Good luck !

[LaL 418]

In the legal practice, it's not just HIS wife...but the story repeats itself over and over and over and over and over and over again...same scenario, and the person is immaterial. Same set-up, same circumstances, same country, same time frame, everything is the same. Don't need to know anybody, husband or wife, to warn of the scenario that he could be facing and, in my professional opinion, one he will likely face given the totality of the circumstances. Sorry. Wish it were different...! I'm NOT judging the person...I am judging the circumstances. You are the one making a judgment of my view and opinion given my background and experience of which you know very little. This is supposed to be a forum of frank discussions regarding a very difficult emotional situation for those who participate here. No sense treating it with kidd gloves...the situation needs to be exposed for what it is, however much it hurts, and I know it does hurt.

Tito, just because it has happened before does NOT mean that it will happen in the OP's case. Once more you are rushing head long into a topic and making rash and judgemental comments without anything to back it up in the OP's case.

Posts like the one where you claim his wife will say he kept her as a slave are downright scaremongering and out of place in this particular area of the forum. Additionally, this area of the forum is more of a support system for people in the most direst of predicaments. Judgement and harsh comments are not required or warranted here.

Actually, I hope this forum, one that I rallied for, and continue to spend the vast majority of my time and effort in is more than just a support system for people in dire predicaments. I hope it is a source of helpful information, and discussion, to include anecdotal. Tito might be painting with a wide brush in this discussion, and that is neither wise nor respectful to the OP, but if you look beyond the generalisations, his point of view is both viable and valuable. Let's not lose sight of the fact that tito, in this case, has valuable personal experience and insight to offer. We have to learn to be tolerant and sort through to extract what is factual from that which might be coloured with a little residual emotion and disappointment.

I definately agree with you here, although that can be a tall order. Couldn't it perhaps be more beneficial to forgo the generalizations as the bickering that occurs as a result? I do think one can share their experiences or knowledge without making sweeping generalizations about a culture or home country. As a result of making those statements, these posts do get more attention, and not necessarily in the best way (example : the bickering in this thread) let's not lose sight of that fact either.

I think this is a wonderful forum, and sincerely thank each one who participates in helping those wade through the hurt, anger, legal and immigration issues members could face.

[StillThePrettiest 4]

in my opinion, the couple of things that tito had to say that were of potential worth or potential benefit got completely swamped in emotive language, subjective opinions, and similar... as many have said (thumbs up to mox): there's value in giving advice and options BASED ON THE SITUATION AS WE KNOW IT, and in as careful a manner as possible, but spiralling into scare-mongering, even if it's based on personal opinion or experience, is not helpful, and far too many of tito's posts come across as pushing his own personal agenda, not trying to address the situation

tito, you've said you're not bitter, and your situation hasn't affected you: I'm in no position to comment on the veracity of that, but I CAN say that that's not how you come across

if you really do have so much 'professional experience', then for Og's sake get a professional manner to accompany it - then what you have to say might be helpful