Interview gone HORRIBLY wrong!

[JenK 0]

Hi, today my fiance had his interview at the consulate in Stockholm, Sweden. It did not go well AT ALL and I am SO upset, discouraged, angry, confused, and I dont know what to do.

He went in at 8:30 this morning and they interviewed him with typical questions about our relationship and he gave them all the paperwork. However, they did not seem satisfied with what he brought in as far as evidence of our relationship. We had our letters of intent, letters I sent him, pictures of us together, ticket stubs from his trip here, his proposal letter to me , but apparently this was not sufficient. We do not call each other because of the cost, and if we do, we use prepaid phone cards, so we have no phone bills. We have no e-mails because we do not e-mail back and forth, we talk on MSN. We have chat logs we are going to send in as more evidence.

The CO then asked him if he could come back for further questioning at 2 PM. Keep in mind we have a 9-hour time difference. The consular officer then calls ME at 5:45 AM and starts grilling me with all kinds of questions about our relationship. How did we meet, when did we meet the first time, tell me about his family, what values do you two share, has he ever been married before, what are your wedding plans, do you have honeymoon plans, he even asked what we ate for dinner the first night we met (I dont remember) and asked what side of the bed I sleep on and what side he sleeps on! I am sure they were asking me all this and at the same time asking him the same questions so they could compare answers. I was not even totally awake so I can't even remember half the things I said or that he said. I told him I was scared and he said not to worry.

Then my fiance calls me and tells me our case has been put under Administrative Processing, send in more proof of our relationship, and if they are satisfied, they'll let us know. If they are NOT satisfied, our case is sent to DHS which I hear is the worst possible fate, as they tend to revoke petitions. I would just DIE if that happened!

So now I'm running around thinking of ANYTHING we can possibly send in to prove that this relationship is REAL! Anyone have any suggestions as to what to send? ANY ideas are appreciated, I will NOT give up!!! I am determined to have my honey here by my side and we MUST convince this CO that this is absolutely REAL! Any of you experience an issue like this? What did you do? Any suggestions/advice/recommendations are definitely appreciated!

Jennifer (depressed and sad in Oregon far away from her love)

[Minya's wife 24]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. We had the same thing happen...and I was a wreck until we were able to submit further evidence and the visa was issued to my fiance. Did your fiance receive any letter from the consulate, stating what further evidence they want? If specifics were not given (we were told what they wanted, but that's not always the case) then I would put together everything I have that documents the two of you as a couple. More pictures, more letters, more chat logs printed out. You as the USC could write a letter directly to the CO, clarifying what you think some of the inconsistencies are. (For example, if you answered "I don't know" to the "What did you have for dinner on your first date?" question and your fiancee answered correctly...then explain that you're not very good w/ remembering details, that's why you love your man so much because he remembers all the details you forget....or something along those lines. ) Why do you think they may have been so keen to verify if the two of you have a valid relationship? Are there any so to speak 'red flags' in your relationship? If so...address those things in your letter.

Good luck,

-P

Edited January 23, 2008 by Paula&Minya

[JenK 0]

Hi there, thank you for your reply. Specifics were not given. Just "more proof" and he got a white form saying we were put under Administrative Processing. No details on the form. So that is what we are going to have to do, send in EVERYTHING we can possibly think of. I will send what I have directly to them, as will he. My lawyer also has contacted the Senator and is having someone at that office ask what is going on.

Jennifer

[brnidokiegurl 0]

also get in touch with your rep they can add a email with their concerns, letters from friends and family, explain to them the phone situation and emails

[JenK 0]

Oh and yes... red flags. We are 12 years apart in age, me being older. I explained to them that age should not be a factor in this, age is just a number. People can say what they want, but I don't think age should make any difference.

He proposed to me right after my divorce. We met for the first time before my divorce finalized. We have been talking since Dec 2005 but my divorce wasnt final until March of 2007.

These are "red flags" in their eyes I guess. It still doesnt mean that our relationship isnt real

Jennifer

[pushbrk 12,113]

Oh and yes... red flags. We are 12 years apart in age, me being older. I explained to them that age should not be a factor in this, age is just a number. People can say what they want, but I don't think age should make any difference.

He proposed to me right after my divorce. We met for the first time before my divorce finalized. We have been talking since Dec 2005 but my divorce wasnt final until March of 2007.

These are "red flags" in their eyes I guess. It still doesnt mean that our relationship isnt real

Jennifer

The CO isn't saying your relationship isn't real. He's saying you didn't provide enough evidence to convince him it IS real. This is a fairly common occurance. You need not trouble anybody else to ask what's going on. You already know. You explained it quite well in your initial post. You need to send those chat logs and any other evidence of communication you can produce, including any other evidence of a bona fide ongoing relationship.

There's no sense in philosophying about what should and shouldn't be considered. That's not in your control. Now is the time to focus on satisfying the CO, so your fiance gets a visa.

[JenK 0]

Hi, thank you for the replies.

I am going to Fed Ex a receipt from my wedding dress (dated pre-interview), pictures of me IN my wedding dress (I have it here, I will put it on and have my daughter take photos of me in it on the digital camera), I am sending in a copy of my application to book a facility of our wedding (hasnt been booked yet but the application is dated pre-interview), a copy of a credit card I got for him in his name, any e-mail I can find, and my fiance is going to print about 30 pages of chat logs.

I sincerely hope that satisfies them. Any other suggestion or does that sound sufficient?

Jennifer

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Hi, today my fiance had his interview at the consulate in Stockholm, Sweden. It did not go well AT ALL and I am SO upset, discouraged, angry, confused, and I dont know what to do.

He went in at 8:30 this morning and they interviewed him with typical questions about our relationship and he gave them all the paperwork. However, they did not seem satisfied with what he brought in as far as evidence of our relationship. We had our letters of intent, letters I sent him, pictures of us together, ticket stubs from his trip here, his proposal letter to me , but apparently this was not sufficient. We do not call each other because of the cost, and if we do, we use prepaid phone cards, so we have no phone bills. We have no e-mails because we do not e-mail back and forth, we talk on MSN. We have chat logs we are going to send in as more evidence.

The CO then asked him if he could come back for further questioning at 2 PM. Keep in mind we have a 9-hour time difference. The consular officer then calls ME at 5:45 AM and starts grilling me with all kinds of questions about our relationship. How did we meet, when did we meet the first time, tell me about his family, what values do you two share, has he ever been married before, what are your wedding plans, do you have honeymoon plans, he even asked what we ate for dinner the first night we met (I dont remember) and asked what side of the bed I sleep on and what side he sleeps on! I am sure they were asking me all this and at the same time asking him the same questions so they could compare answers. I was not even totally awake so I can't even remember half the things I said or that he said. I told him I was scared and he said not to worry.

Then my fiance calls me and tells me our case has been put under Administrative Processing, send in more proof of our relationship, and if they are satisfied, they'll let us know. If they are NOT satisfied, our case is sent to DHS which I hear is the worst possible fate, as they tend to revoke petitions. I would just DIE if that happened!

So now I'm running around thinking of ANYTHING we can possibly send in to prove that this relationship is REAL! Anyone have any suggestions as to what to send? ANY ideas are appreciated, I will NOT give up!!! I am determined to have my honey here by my side and we MUST convince this CO that this is absolutely REAL! Any of you experience an issue like this? What did you do? Any suggestions/advice/recommendations are definitely appreciated!

Jennifer (depressed and sad in Oregon far away from her love)

There's no question that you have evidence that you have communicated, but since you were already still married during some of that time, it doesn't necessarily prove there was a relationship developing. Even though you have presented ticket stubs for his visits, that doesn't always prove you met and especially if that time frame corresponds to a time when you were not available for a relationship. Do you have any evidence that you and he were together during his visit, other than photos which are not necessarily datable evidence? He visited you for 90 days, do you have anything that shows you spend time together during that and subsequent visits?

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Oh My God! I can't believe you're having more trouble. I am soooo sorry to hear about this. Keep positive and load it on thick. Send lots more pictures and definitely the chat logs. Did he buy wedding rings? Maybe the receipt for the purchase of the rings. Receipts for anything you sent by snail mail. Also, maybe get some affadavits from family and friends who met him and know the two of you as a couple. I think you should definitely aim for overkill. Give them as much as you can think of.

Good Luck Jen!!

[Minya's wife 24]

Hi, thank you for the replies.

I am going to Fed Ex a receipt from my wedding dress (dated pre-interview), pictures of me IN my wedding dress (I have it here, I will put it on and have my daughter take photos of me in it on the digital camera), I am sending in a copy of my application to book a facility of our wedding (hasnt been booked yet but the application is dated pre-interview), a copy of a credit card I got for him in his name, any e-mail I can find, and my fiance is going to print about 30 pages of chat logs.

Print out all the chat logs you have that correspond to the time in which you were in a fiancee relationship w/ your man. Have some friends and family, that know your situation write letters attesting to your relationship. In your own letter, explain just as you did in your first post, why there is a lack of e-mail and phone communication. If you have any of those used-up pre-paid phone cards, I would send those too....and explain that these types of cards were used for phone conversations, and that they do not offer call histories. Explain about the wedding dress purchase and the plans for the upcoming wedding, in the context of explaining how the two of you are a couple who's wanting to get married...just like any other couple.

I sincerely hope that satisfies them. Any other suggestion or does that sound sufficient?

Jennifer

[Jasman0717 8]

That is pretty strange behavior from the embassy staff, especially since it is Sweden. I hope things can be worked out for you.

[JenK 0]

That is pretty strange behavior from the embassy staff, especially since it is Sweden. I hope things can be worked out for you.

Yes it is, it is quite unusual. My lawyer, in 14 years of practice, has not dealt with a case like this. And thank you all for the advice and support, it is definitely needed and appreciated!

I am trying to find evidence of our last visit together from July through September this year. We didn't DO anything, lol, we just spent a lot of time hanging out together. I have pictures of the engagement ring before he gave it to me, and pictures of me wearing it. I have pictures of him at my daughter's 14th birthday party, with my daughter and son in the picture also. That is a picture I definitely know the date of. The credit card I got in his name is dated 4/07 to 4/10, and we were engaged in 4/07. I am trying to find ANYTHING with DATES but that is hard to do! They seemed to be totally preoccupied with dates at the consulate. I am rummaging through my apartment trying to find anything I can. I want to try to make them so certain of our relationship that they CANT doubt it, if that is possible.

Thanks for caring and for listening!

[Dr. Obvious 49]

That is pretty strange behavior from the embassy staff, especially since it is Sweden. I hope things can be worked out for you.

Really weird indeed. I hope also you can figure things out.

If it were me though, I would be packing my bags for Sweden. Sweden is awesome. My husband and I would live there in a second if someone offered one of us a job there. I know that is no advice, but .

[Liebi 0]

That is pretty strange behavior from the embassy staff, especially since it is Sweden. I hope things can be worked out for you.

That's what I thought as well - this is happening in Sweden?

I really wish you all the best and hope you will figure this one out.

Like stated above, I would have friends and family members on both sides set up letters stating the know you as a couple, how long you have been dating etc., get their signatures on them notified and mail them in as well.

[Minya's wife 24]

That is pretty strange behavior from the embassy staff, especially since it is Sweden. I hope things can be worked out for you.

Actually, while I think it is sad, I'm not surprised...even though it occured in a country such as Sweden. (Why would someone want to emigrate here from Sweden, if not for love? ) The OP has some things in her particular situation that constitute "red flags" so the consular official just chose to focus further on the validity of the relationship and is in need of further clarification. I think they can overcome this....they just need to gather more evidence. At least they didn't just send the petition back right off the bat, so its not that they weren't convinced....its just that they were not convince 'beyond a shadow of a doubt'.

-P