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Empress of Groovy

Dear Joyce

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Dear VJ readers:

AOS Despair (aka Julie) has kindly allowed me to use her VJ account to offer my advice column, Dear Joyce, here in OT.

For those of you who may not be familiar with me, I am the lovely lady, if I may toot my own horn, who appears in AOS Despair's signature. I released a self-titled album in the early 1980s, which included such chartbusters as "I Get All Excited," and "Get Your Hands Off My Polyester (I'm Not That Kind of Woman)."

I am a liberated woman who has much to offer today's discerning readers. Ladies, have you grown confused by the plethora of synthetic fabrics available today? Are you perplexed by all the conflicting advice out there about what to look for in a pantsuit? Have you ever been told that you can't beat a man at tennis, and other such put-downs? I can address these issues and more. I can give you tips on keeping your helmet hairstyle immobile amid the fiercest hurricane conditions, and never again will you wonder which earrings are optimal for complementing your giant, perfectly round tinted glasses.

And guys, I haven't forgotten about you. Are you finding it difficult to carry on a conversation with a career woman? Are you frustrated that women today don't know how to make a soufflé or prepare a fondue? Are you wondering why you can't seem to rope yourself a "Joyce"? Well, I've got advice for you too. Do you find it curious that these average Joes manage to "hook up" with Joyces while you're at home on a Friday night entertaining yourself, so to speak?

Please, don't be shy. Dear Joyce is at your service. I look forward to hearing from you.

Love,

(F) Joyce (F)


K-1

March 7, 2005: I-129F NOA1

September 20, 2005: K-1 Interview in London. Visa received shortly thereafter.

AOS

December 30, 2005: I-485 received by USCIS

May 5, 2006: Interview at Phoenix district office. Approval pending FBI background check clearance. AOS finally approved almost two years later: February 14, 2008.

Received 10-year green card February 28, 2008

Your Humble Advice Columnist, Joyce

Come check out the most happenin' thread on VJ: Dear Joyce

Click here to see me visiting with my homebodies.

[The grooviest signature you've ever seen is under construction!]

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Dear Joyce,

you are an amazing sexy and beautiful woman..have you had work on that body and face? ...curious dean


Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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everyone grab a pillow - i've seen enough.


* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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dear joyce.....

is it wrong to rub your nuts in public..if you, cracked them on your truck door?


Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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Filed: Country: Philippines
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Dear Joyce,

I've read that the reason why we have pubic hair is that it helps with the concentration of pheromones that attract our mates. If that's true, why am I turned off by a thick bush?

Edited by Mister Fancypants

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Dear Joyce,

you are an amazing sexy and beautiful woman..have you had work on that body and face? ...curious dean

My goodness, Dean, thank you for the compliment.

I can assure you that what you see is 100% real Joyce.

I keep my figure by eating sensibly and only indulging in Cool Whip once a week.

I also use Cool Whip as an exfoliant, and as you can see, it does the trick!

Love,

(F) Joyce (F)


K-1

March 7, 2005: I-129F NOA1

September 20, 2005: K-1 Interview in London. Visa received shortly thereafter.

AOS

December 30, 2005: I-485 received by USCIS

May 5, 2006: Interview at Phoenix district office. Approval pending FBI background check clearance. AOS finally approved almost two years later: February 14, 2008.

Received 10-year green card February 28, 2008

Your Humble Advice Columnist, Joyce

Come check out the most happenin' thread on VJ: Dear Joyce

Click here to see me visiting with my homebodies.

[The grooviest signature you've ever seen is under construction!]

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thanks joyce...Mr Joyce is a luck son of a #######


Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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Dear Joyce,

Is it really possible for a man to achieve multiple orgasms like Sting claims he can?

Dear Mr. Fancypants (is that your real name, goodness!)

I believe that Sting is full of hooey on this one. You don't want to risk injury to your man plumbing by attempting such nonsense.

Love,

(F) Joyce (F)

p.s. Who is Sting?


K-1

March 7, 2005: I-129F NOA1

September 20, 2005: K-1 Interview in London. Visa received shortly thereafter.

AOS

December 30, 2005: I-485 received by USCIS

May 5, 2006: Interview at Phoenix district office. Approval pending FBI background check clearance. AOS finally approved almost two years later: February 14, 2008.

Received 10-year green card February 28, 2008

Your Humble Advice Columnist, Joyce

Come check out the most happenin' thread on VJ: Dear Joyce

Click here to see me visiting with my homebodies.

[The grooviest signature you've ever seen is under construction!]

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everyone grab a pillow - i've seen enough.

Dear Charles:

While some ladies appreciate "pillow talk," others may find it a bit distasteful. It does take some degree of judgment to determine what sort of lady your date is.

I say, when in doubt, tell her that she's wearing a pretty dress.

Love,

(F) Joyce (F)


K-1

March 7, 2005: I-129F NOA1

September 20, 2005: K-1 Interview in London. Visa received shortly thereafter.

AOS

December 30, 2005: I-485 received by USCIS

May 5, 2006: Interview at Phoenix district office. Approval pending FBI background check clearance. AOS finally approved almost two years later: February 14, 2008.

Received 10-year green card February 28, 2008

Your Humble Advice Columnist, Joyce

Come check out the most happenin' thread on VJ: Dear Joyce

Click here to see me visiting with my homebodies.

[The grooviest signature you've ever seen is under construction!]

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Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline
Dear Joyce,

Is it really possible for a man to achieve multiple orgasms like Sting claims he can?

Dear Mr. Fancypants (is that your real name, goodness!)

I believe that Sting is full of hooey on this one. You don't want to risk injury to your man plumbing by attempting such nonsense.

Love,

(F) Joyce (F)

p.s. Who is Sting?

Yes, it is my real name. Phew, what a relief on multiple orgasms for men being a hooey, because I'm a one trick pony...usually sound asleep afterwards. I think Sting's original name was Gordon Sumner, but he changed it after achieving multiple orgasms on consecutive nights....like, "Damn that Stings!"

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dear joyce.....

is it wrong to rub your nuts in public..if you, cracked them on your truck door?

Dear Dean,

Ouch! I suggest that you be discreet in your nuts rubbing, and try not to do so close to pretty girls. They may get the wrong idea.

Here's to a speedy recovery!

Love,

(F) Joyce (F)


K-1

March 7, 2005: I-129F NOA1

September 20, 2005: K-1 Interview in London. Visa received shortly thereafter.

AOS

December 30, 2005: I-485 received by USCIS

May 5, 2006: Interview at Phoenix district office. Approval pending FBI background check clearance. AOS finally approved almost two years later: February 14, 2008.

Received 10-year green card February 28, 2008

Your Humble Advice Columnist, Joyce

Come check out the most happenin' thread on VJ: Dear Joyce

Click here to see me visiting with my homebodies.

[The grooviest signature you've ever seen is under construction!]

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thanks for your kind words and direction sister joyce..

hey, i got a spare office in my practice ..ever thought about being a psychologist?


Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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Dear Joyce,

I've read that the reason why we have pubic hair is that it helps with the concentration of pheromones that attract our mates. If that's true, why am I turned off by a thick bush?

Dear Mr. Fancypants:

Yes, that is true. As for why you're turned off by the "natural look," perhaps your partner (or former partner, I don't mean to be presumptuous) should practice a different hygiene regimen. Perfumed soaps, scented douches, and personal sprays make great gifts.

Good luck!

Love,

(F) Joyce (F)


K-1

March 7, 2005: I-129F NOA1

September 20, 2005: K-1 Interview in London. Visa received shortly thereafter.

AOS

December 30, 2005: I-485 received by USCIS

May 5, 2006: Interview at Phoenix district office. Approval pending FBI background check clearance. AOS finally approved almost two years later: February 14, 2008.

Received 10-year green card February 28, 2008

Your Humble Advice Columnist, Joyce

Come check out the most happenin' thread on VJ: Dear Joyce

Click here to see me visiting with my homebodies.

[The grooviest signature you've ever seen is under construction!]

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

Dear Joyce,

I often find my husband spending many hours alone locked in the bathroom. When he comes out he is all flushed and sweaty and holding a picture of you. Do you think he is constipated? Should I add more fiber to his diet?

Signed,

Alone while my husband is the bathroom.

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