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20 jokes for smart people

#1 mota bhai

mota bhai

    Super Star Member


  • Group: Closed
  • Joined: 08 Apr 2013

Posted 11 March 2014 - 08:46 AM

CTfxAei.jpg


  • 0

#2 Barack 0bola

Barack 0bola

    It's an honour just to be nominated.


  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 05 Feb 2007
  • City:Los Angeles, CA
  • Filing Location: Embassy
  • Country: United Kingdom



Posted 11 March 2014 - 04:25 PM

:lol:

I laughed. :mellow:
  • 0

Silver_Beauty_Pageant_Crown.jpg


#3 Novembro

Novembro

    Despair and suffering.



Posted 11 March 2014 - 07:59 PM

I'm only on the first joke and I am laughing, literally, out loud.


  • 0

I love a guy who looks like he could be on Criminal Minds as either an agent or a killer.


#4 Pooky

Pooky

    I'm in ur cookie jar, stealin' ones wiv chocolate chipz


  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 09 Feb 2005
  • Country: England



Posted 11 March 2014 - 08:09 PM

Two atoms bump into each other.

The first one says, "#######! I just lost an electron!"

The second one asks, "Are you sure?"

To which the fist one replies, "Yes. I'm positive!"
  • 2
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself

2011-11-15.garfield.png

#5 TBoneTX

TBoneTX

    Among the 99.44% HOSED at the Guayaquil consulate



Posted 11 March 2014 - 11:20 PM

I liked #VI and #VII, caesar man.

 

They stole #9 from me.  However:

Customer:  This coffee tastes like mud!

Waiter:  It should, sir; it was ground this morning.


  • 0
06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.
06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).
07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?
09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).
09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).
10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."
12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.
12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.
12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.
01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.
01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.
04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").
05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.
05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).
06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."
07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.
08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).
08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

#6 Tala202

Tala202

    Member

  • PipPipPipPip

  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 12 Feb 2014
  • City:Arlington
  • State:Virginia
  • Filed for: IR-1/CR-1 Visa
  • Country: Canada



Posted 15 March 2014 - 12:51 AM

Can anyone explain the logician ones to me? blush.png 


  • 0

I am the beneficiary.

 

July 2010: Met in Germany

Sept 14th 2012: Started Relationship (visited each other 20+ times since then)

May 1st – Aug 31st 2013: J1 Stay in US

Dec 23rd 2013– Jan 4th 2014: Trip together to Germany

Jan 30th, 2014: Married in VA!

Feb 11th, 2014: Back in Montreal

 

USCIS Journey

 

Feb 13th, 2014: Sent I-130 packet overnight (delayed by DC storm)

Feb 18th, 2014: I-130 received by USCIS (PD)

Feb 20th, 2014: NOA1 (email)

Feb 25th, 2014: NOA1 (paper)

June 11th, 2014: NOA2 (email)


#7 sharky-rex

sharky-rex

    Senior Member

  • PipPipPipPipPip


Posted 15 March 2014 - 06:55 AM

Can anyone explain the logician ones to me? blush.png 

 

3rd one:

The question is whether ALL of them want a drink. So if all of them want a drink the answer's yes, but if even just one doesn't the answer's no. The first one knows whether he wants a drink, but doesn't know if his two friends want one. If he hadn't wanted a drink he'd have answered 'no' and that would have been the end of it, but he wants a drink so he says 'I don't know'. The second one knows the first one wants a drink (because he didn't answer no), but doesn't know whether the third one wants a drink. He wants a drink so using the same logic as before, he answers 'I don't know'. Now the third one knows neither of the previous two answered no, so they must want a drink. He wants a drink as well. Now that he knows all three of them want a drink, he can answer 'yes'.

 

8th one:

"Or" used in logic is a bit different than "or" used in english. For the logic "or", if either one or both are true, the answer is yes. The only way for the answer to be no is if neither one is true. Since the baby can't be neither a boy nor a girl the answer's yes.


  • 0

#8 The Postmaster

The Postmaster

    Misunderstood Member


  • Group: Closed
  • Joined: 07 Feb 2009

Posted 15 March 2014 - 11:05 AM

Can anyone explain the logician ones to me? blush.png 

I don't know.


  • 0

#9 Pooky

Pooky

    I'm in ur cookie jar, stealin' ones wiv chocolate chipz


  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 09 Feb 2005
  • Country: England



Posted 15 March 2014 - 10:33 PM

Man walks into a bar.

Says "Ouch"

:mellow:
  • 1
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself

2011-11-15.garfield.png

#10 The Postmaster

The Postmaster

    Misunderstood Member


  • Group: Closed
  • Joined: 07 Feb 2009

Posted 15 March 2014 - 11:09 PM

Two nuts were walking down the road. One was a salted.


  • 0

#11 luckytxn

luckytxn

    I Only Post Satirically


  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 17 Aug 2008

Posted 16 March 2014 - 12:43 AM

I didn't understand most of them.


  • 0

#12 Pooky

Pooky

    I'm in ur cookie jar, stealin' ones wiv chocolate chipz


  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 09 Feb 2005
  • Country: England



Posted 16 March 2014 - 07:14 AM

I didn't understand most of them.


I understand most things. Maybe, it's because I'm short. :P
  • 0
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself

2011-11-15.garfield.png

#13 luckytxn

luckytxn

    I Only Post Satirically


  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 17 Aug 2008

Posted 16 March 2014 - 08:58 AM

Maybe it is because I am from Texas.

I understand most things. Maybe, it's because I'm short. tongue.png

 


  • 0

#14 Pooky

Pooky

    I'm in ur cookie jar, stealin' ones wiv chocolate chipz


  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 09 Feb 2005
  • Country: England



Posted 16 March 2014 - 09:30 AM

Maybe it is because I am from Texas.
 


More likely that you are too tall to stand under anything. ;)
  • 0
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself

2011-11-15.garfield.png

#15 luckytxn

luckytxn

    I Only Post Satirically


  • Group: Members
  • Joined: 17 Aug 2008

Posted 16 March 2014 - 09:45 AM

True. I am tall. May explain things.

More likely that you are too tall to stand under anything. wink.png

 


  • 0


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