K-1 Co-sponsor and obligated wedding?

[DutchGuy 40]

Hello everyone!

First of I would like to state that I have been reading into the K-1 visa for a very long time, but consider my knowledge average to poor.

I have been dating my USC girlfriend for 3 years after meeting her while I was in The US on a J-1 visa. I was in the US for the first year of our relationship and we have been LDR for 2. She has come to Europe (The Netherlands) about 5x so far, while I have only visited her once after my first year stay in the US, so we have plenty of "experience" of being together and have plenty of "proof" of a real relationship. The time has come were we have decided that it's time to close the distance. She is currently a junior in college so she does not meet the income requirement to sponsor me yet. She lives in a beautiful appartement (rent, so no asset) with her sister, so she has her "own" place. Good news for us though, my girlfriend's best-friend does/will be meet(ing) the income requirement but she has just started her job in September of 2016. Does this mean we have to wait till next years tax season, or would we be able to file in September of this year, or even right now? Also, is she required to maintain the annual income all the way until I become citizen? I have pretty good job opportunities lined up for myself when I get there. I am asking this cause her best-friend is thinking of going to grad-school.

Also, we do want to get married, but don't want an actual wedding yet. We are both "young" (early 20's) . Is this a problem? By wedding I mean a ceremony where we invite family and friends etc. Right now we just want to get married so that I can come over there (cause I speak English I'd be only fair for me to go there) and close the gap. We'd love to have the actual ceremony and all that, but maybe after 2 years, when the financial and distance situation are all sorted, for now, we'd like to keep the marriage between us, otherwise there would be no point in having an actual wedding with family and friends. Would this be a problem? Are you required to have an actual wedding with family and friends within those 90 days?


I know these are a lot of questions and don't except them all to be answered. (These aren't even all the questions I have, lol) Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks
 

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Courthouse ceremony is fine

[DutchGuy 40]

Thanks for the quick reply, do you need family to attend this? 

Edited March 27, 2017 by DutchGuy

[Transborderwife 4,666]

4 minutes ago, DutchGuy said:

Thanks for the quick reply, do you need family to attend this? 

Need, no but it can help for evidence.  Any objections to ones able to attend to go?

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Also hiding a marriage doesn't look good to uscis

[DutchGuy 40]

7 minutes ago, Transborderwife said:

Also hiding a marriage doesn't look good to uscis

Well, we would not hide it perse, but I don't know how happy for example her father would be. I'd be able to invite like a handful of people, but we want an actual proper nice wedding once the time is right! A wedding were I want to invite all my family and friends from back home to attend. 

Imagine your daughter telling you she is marrying a guy (whom she is in love with) to bring him to the US while she's still in college. (Bare in mind he is very old-fashioned and has not been happy with her travelling half the world to see me. says it's something the guy should do instead of the girl)

Would I for example have to fly my parents from the EU down?

Edited March 27, 2017 by DutchGuy

[Transborderwife 4,666]

12 minutes ago, DutchGuy said:

Well, we would not hide it perse, but I don't know how happy for example her father would be. I'd be able to invite like a handful of people, but we want an actual proper nice wedding once the time is right! A wedding were I want to invite all my family and friends from back home to attend. 

Imagine your daughter telling you she is marrying a guy (whom she is in love with) to bring him to the US while she's still in college. (Bare in mind he is very old-fashioned and has not been happy with her travelling half the world to see me. says it's something the guy should do instead of the girl)

Would I for example have to fly my parents from the EU down?

I would tell her parents regardless.  It could potentially cause issues.  No need to fly your parents in.  

[Ash.1101 1,755]

14 minutes ago, DutchGuy said:

Well, we would not hide it perse, but I don't know how happy for example her father would be. I'd be able to invite like a handful of people, but we want an actual proper nice wedding once the time is right! A wedding were I want to invite all my family and friends from back home to attend. 

Imagine your daughter telling you she is marrying a guy (whom she is in love with) to bring him to the US while she's still in college. (Bare in mind he is very old-fashioned and has not been happy with her travelling half the world to see me. says it's something the guy should do instead of the girl)

Would I for example have to fly my parents from the EU down?

If she's still in college, will she be able to sponsor you?

She has to either make enough income to support you, or she'll have to have a cosponsor. Traditionally, people use a parent as a cosponsor.


Also, where would you live? How would she explain you living with her?


Note that the K-1 visa isn't for ya'll to see how you'll work as a couple, it's to get legally married and live as a married couple.

[DutchGuy 40]

5 minutes ago, Ash.1101 said:

If she's still in college, will she be able to sponsor you?

She has to either make enough income to support you, or she'll have to have a cosponsor. Traditionally, people use a parent as a cosponsor.


Also, where would you live? How would she explain you living with her?


Note that the K-1 visa isn't for ya'll to see how you'll work as a couple, it's to get legally married and live as a married couple.

As mentioned in my previous post, her bestfriend would co-sponsor her. We have been dating for 3 years, of which the 1st we were together. We know how it is to be a couple and we would live together. However, you can't expect from 2 students to fly out all my friends and family, have a nice traditional wedding and all that good stuff. We can simply not afford that at this time.

I understand your concern, there are people getting married who have met online and/or met each other once. We do want to get married, for us, but for the outside world, we'd like to keep it to our pace. If someone asks, we are married. But we want a beautiful ceremony with all our friends and family once the time is right. We'd be living together, just like a married couple. Cause we are in love, and want to get married. 

 

I hope that clears things up.

Edited March 27, 2017 by DutchGuy

[Ash.1101 1,755]

8 minutes ago, DutchGuy said:

As mentioned in my previous post, her bestfriend would co-sponsor her. We have been dating for 3 years, of which the 1st we were together. We know how it is to be a couple and we would live together. However, you can't expect from 2 students to fly out all my friends and family, have a nice traditional wedding and all that good stuff. We can simply not afford that at this time. 

I understand your concern, there are people getting married who have met online and/or met each other once. We do want to get married, for us, but for the outside world, we'd like to keep it to our pace. If someone asks, we are married. But we want a beautiful ceremony with all our friends and family once the time is right.

 

I hope that clears things up.

Ah okay ya you're good then.


Be careful on how many times you say "she is marrying a guy to bring him to the US", "Right now we just want to get married so that I can come over there" because it may be taken in an unintended way.


With that said, people get married in the court house all the time for  their K-1 wedding. Honestly I would have never even have thought to have paid for any of my family to come to the wedding, might be another culture, but all our family and friends attended our K-1 wedding on their own financial terms lol. 

I do think that the family members should know. You're going to be dealing with a change, you won't be able to work for a while, you're going to have to go through AOS and if you don't plan on having a real wedding for 2 years, you may even ROC before your big blow out wedding.

You're going to want her parents on your side, since you're going to be in America, I don't think hiding a marriage from them is going to turn out well in the long run. Yeah they may be mad that it's happening, but they're more likely to accept it's happening than to end up finding out that you've moved in with their daughter, married her, and all just as if nothing has happened to do all of this. Parents always find out, trust me. LOL

Edited March 27, 2017 by Ash.1101

[DutchGuy 40]

1 minute ago, Ash.1101 said:

Ah okay ya you're good then.


Be careful on how many times you say "she is marrying a guy to bring him to the US", "Right now we just want to get married so that I can come over there" because it may be taken in an unintended way.


With that said, people get married in the court house all the time for  their K-1 wedding. Honestly I would have never even have thought to have paid for any of my family to come to the wedding, might be another culture, but all our family and friends attended our K-1 wedding on their own financial terms lol. 

I do think that the family members should know. You're going to be dealing with a change, you won't be able to work for a while, you're going to have to go through AOS and if you don't plan on having a real wedding for 2 years, you may even ROC before your big blow out wedding.

You're going to want her parents on your side, since you're going to be in America, I don't think hiding a marriage from them is going to turn out well in the long run. Yeah they may be mad that it's happening, but they're more likely to accept it then find out that you've moved in with their daughter, married her, and all just as if nothing has happened to do all of this.

You are right, it might get the wrong message across, guess it's my choice of wording things in English that messes things up.

"You're going to be dealing with a change, you won't be able to work for a while, you're going to have to go through AOS and if you don't plan on having a real wedding for 2 years, you may even ROC before your big blow out wedding." - You lost me at AOS and ROC.

Thanks for the advice. You make some solid points.

[SparklePony 238]

A legal courthouse marriage is all that's required per the K1 visa, and later for AOS. Many people do just that - me included. We had my stepson there, as well as my youngest sister-in-law, who took the pictures. That was it. There was a big family dinner at a restaurant later and that was it. No big wedding ceremony. We've had no issues so far. 

 

One thing you'll need to think about though is the financial aspect, not just of her supporting you while you wait for your work permit (which is taking closer to 4 months to get, now) but also in regards to paying for fees, medical, plane tickets, etc, and later to file for AOS. If your gf doesn't make enough, you'll need a co-sponsor, who does not have to be family, so the friend is fine. She doesn't have to maintain the same income all the way through citizenship for you - as long as she meets the requirements at the time of filing, you're good to go. She should, though, be aware of the obligations of co-sponsoring you. As for when to file based on this, the friend would need to prove her income, typically through a letter from her employer and through pay stubs.

 

Lastly, regarding your soon to be in-laws, I would be totally honest. If your gf's dad doesn't like it, that's his problem. Ultimately you have to make the decision based on what's best for you, not to placate him. But I would never suggest you do anything but tell the truth. 

[SparklePony 238]

AOS - adjustment of status, aka applying for legal permanent residence, aka getting a green card, aka telling the US government you were good and did what you were told to do which was marry within 90 days of entry on a K1 visa. 

 

That greencard will be conditional, valid only for 2 years. Before that time is up you will need to file for ROC, aka removal of conditions, to get a 10- year greencard. 

Edited March 27, 2017 by SparklePony

[DutchGuy 40]

2 minutes ago, SparklePony said:

A legal courthouse marriage is all that's required per the K1 visa, and later for AOS. Many people do just that - me included. We had my stepson there, as well as my youngest sister-in-law, who took the pictures. That was it. There was a big family dinner at a restaurant later and that was it. No big wedding ceremony. We've had no issues so far. 

 

One thing you'll need to think about though is the financial aspect, not just of her supporting you while you wait for your work permit (which is taking closer to 4 months to get, now) but also in regards to paying for fees, medical, plane tickets, etc, and later to file for AOS. If your gf doesn't make enough, you'll need a co-sponsor, who does not have to be family, so the friend is fine. She doesn't have to maintain the same income all the way through citizenship for you - as long as she meets the requirements at the time of filing, you're good to go. She should, though, be aware of the obligations of co-sponsoring you. As for when to file based on this, the friend would need to prove her income, typically through a letter from her employer and through pay stubs.

 

Lastly, regarding your soon to be in-laws, I would be totally honest. If your gf's dad doesn't like it, that's his problem. Ultimately you have to make the decision based on what's best for you, not to placate him. But I would never suggest you do anything but tell the truth. 

That clears things up a lot! Thanks. So, you have to wait at least 4 months to be able to work? That's quite important to take in consideration.

[Ash.1101 1,755]

7 minutes ago, DutchGuy said:

You are right, it might get the wrong message across, guess it's my choice of wording things in English that messes things up.

"You're going to be dealing with a change, you won't be able to work for a while, you're going to have to go through AOS and if you don't plan on having a real wedding for 2 years, you may even ROC before your big blow out wedding." - You lost me at AOS and ROC.

Thanks for the advice. You make some solid points.

After you get married on a K-1, you have to do your adjustment of status. This is what gives you your green card, your work authorization, and your ability to come back into the country if you leave. During this time, from entering the country on a K-1 to when you get your work authorization, you can't work. When you apply to adjust your status, you also apply to work and come back into the country if you leave, it generally takes 90 days to get your authorization to work. Some people have taken longer, some people have had it very quickly.
There have been people who got their green cards within 70 days like me, but others who applied the same time as me that still haven't even had a green card interview. It's been almost a year of waiting for them.
Your green card that you would get from adjustment of status, is only good for two years, before your green card expires, you will do an ROC, removal of conditions.

There's a lot more immigration process to the K-1 visa than just coming in and marrying. Coming in and marrying is just the beginning really, as if you don't adjust your status you will not stay legal in the country. The AOS process if very simular to the K-1 process, just done within the US. But it's another financial contract with a cosponsor, it's more papers that can cause problems, it can be a lot of stress, and when you're countries away from your family you'll want her family on your side.

Edited March 27, 2017 by Ash.1101