onwa

It doesn't matter what they are called. In time--all terms will seem derogatory. Remember when we used to say that person was 'retarded' then it became 'mentally challenged' and then 'special needs'. bad conotations happen with any new term you use beacuse people the state they are in 'whatever you want to call it' has not changed.

Congrats! My husband got his last week and I taught him how to drive!

At first it was a huge problem and I would go sleep on the couch. Now we basically sleep on top of each other all entwined. I never though an insomniac like me could fall asleep with someone's head on top of my own and snoring! But I can and i love the closeness.

Hi Alicia,

THanks for posting again. Glad things are getting normal. We're in the same boat as you--feeling loving, good and normal==except our AOS has fallen into some kind of black hole! Continued best wishes for you and hubby!

Elderly drivers scare me to death. I've been in two accidents caused by them. I think society in as a whole should change from being so independant--at the risk of peple's lives and have soiciety take care of the elders--give them limosuine service--treat them like queens and kngs--but don't let them drive on their own in the name of dignity--just get them a chueffer!

It's good to vent! So sorry you're having such a hard time getting an interview. Hopefully soon. I remember when we started the K1 visa process--we weren't sure if my then fiance should return to Nigeria or try to extend his student visa in South Africa. Our lawyer told us to do everything in our power to stay in South Africa. Now from all these horror posts on Lagos--I'm glad we followed his advice.

Have there been any interviews scheduled recently? Can you go for a visit?

Kia

Thanks! I just made an infopass appointment. Would be a shame if they refused someone to go to a funeral.

We can still get an emergency Ap right? even though we didn't file for a normal one? I assume we would pay the $170? My husband's grandmother passed away and he was so close to her. All the information I've seen so far has been about people who already filed for AP--and there is no good info on USCIS website--please advise anyone!

Wow all that hassle!!!!!

Congrats on finally getting it over with

I went to renew my license after having took the test last year and was told my greencard is not enough i.d !!! I had other i.d's with me ,but they insist on my passport now!!! I thought the greencard would of been enough!!!

Congrats again!! and sorry for all the messing you had in getting it

yeah, DMV's have a bad name everywhere. Hope you ge yours resolved soon!

glad you got it over with finally...

I am having a similar problem here in California.... You have to make an appointment about a month before and the first time they informed me the blinkers on our car didn't work.... So hubby fixed it and we went back a second time a few weeks later, then they told me the blinkers were the wrong colour.... I have another appoinment scheduled for the end of the month... let's see what they say this time..

Hope you get your licence soon! I never new it could be such a hassle. ALl those nights of sleeping out and the having to go to work the next day!

Look at the bright side.

You live in Hawai'i.

Well after 7 years here....the cons are starting to outeigh the pros. However, I think if this was any other state--overnight camping would not be allowed because people would freeze in winer. But nobody should have to camp overnight to get a road test--they need to offer up more online appointments!

The cost of living here is getting too high and roads/schools/dmv suck!

Starbucks....

Burned coffee? That's the best you can find in America.

I like to say Charbucks!

or you can wait 3 months to get an appointment online. We did this the first time back in November---for an appointment in February. But they wouldn't let us take the road test because we had just bought a new car and they didn't like our proof from the dealer that the car was insured--nor would they accept faxed documents--well, we weren't going to wait another 3 months so we started to try and do the walk-in.

2nd try--we got there at 5am--but we didn't make it--too many peopl in the line ahead of us

3rd try--we get there at 11 pm--already 5th in line. People have sleeping bags and cots. We get in. He doesn't apss the test--was not told why--only that he was a good driver but did alittle bit of this and that--could you be more vague.

4th try--we get there at 7 pm. 3rd in line. By 3am the line is already at 40 people---unbelievable. We et in--fails again--something not his fault but unfortunate.

5th try---we get there at 5:30 pm. 3rd in line again. By the way--people make a decent living by sleeping at the DMV and then having the real road test takers replace them in the AM--they meake $150/night. we asked--since we see the same people all the time. morning comes--no road tests allowed today--not enough people come into work

6th try-we get there at 5 pm. We are first in line! He gets the same person who he had the first time--she passes him--we breathe a sigh of relief.

I really hate the government here in Hawaii. Nobody should have to go through this to take a road test. I believe he would have passed the first time if he was allowed. but at least this nightmare is over!

somebody with extra time should try and track VJ successes and divorces. Now that would be an interesting statistic.

you guys have given me/us such great advice, even though he won't admit that bcz of you, we were able to get certain things fixed!

You guys are so great, so it bothers me when he puts you down, especially that alot of you have gone thru the interviews and all, so you know more than me or he does!

Oh well, i'll just try not to talk about vj

Well, I think the main thing is that your guy feels like you respect his opinion--whether he's right or not. My husband and I do appreciate some of the things we have gained from this site. But there were some things he didn't agree with and wanted me to check with the lawyer--which I did out of respect for his opinion--not bsed on what was right or what was wrong. Give him alot of praise in other areas and he will probably back off on bashinf VJ. But this is just my opinion and not meant to be anything else!

We had an INFOPASS appointment at our local office about 2 weeks ago. Its been over six months for our AOS and we were wondering what was happening. Although Honolulu's district office says Feb 13, 2005 for processessing dates---everyone I know has gone through there in 4-6 months. Also, I expected the case to be in Honolulu already. However, the case is still at NBC or wherever the Lockbox sends it. The computer says they have requested the file....I assume that's the envelope turned in at POE. SO is it too early to request action on my case--by writing a letter or whatever. I feel we have fallen into a black hole on someone's desk. Or do I just wait it a little longer?

Ideas?

Congrats!

It used to bother my husband until he realized it occupies me while he is surfing the net doing other things--and if I'm not occupied--I'll probably start bugging him! So now he's ok with it.

Well, I think that could be true. But every single case is different and unique. I remember when I was dating my husband. Some people tried to sit me down and dissuade me from dating a Nigerian. One woman was telling me how Aficans treat their wives like slaves. But the other said--that in Nigeria--women were held in high esteem. But still I shouldn't date this Nigerian as he was just after a ticket to America. I'm so HAPPy I never istened to their advice. And I do feel like my husband holds me in high esteem--so that part has been true for me.

As far as staying at home and raising children. my husband fully expects me to have a good paying job and fully supports me in continuing my education. He really doesn't want a stay at home wife which at times seems kind of nice to me! But I'd rather have someone support me to be all I can be--then someone who forces me to stay at home.

The part of the article that worries me most is the interpretations of the two different cultures. All along I have known of the differences, but the author makes them sound unresolvable. It is a little discouraging. Sometimes I feel like we have 3 strikes against us already....cross cultural, interracial, visa process, racism, etc.

Well, it 'aint easy to be sure.' And the differences sometimes are HUGE. BUt the author doesn't give percentages. And the majority of marraiges fail within the first two years or at the 7 year mark. I guess what I feel we need is more positive feedback. Because anyone can look at statistics and say yes--that is what is going to happen to me--or one can say nothing is impossible. But with a disclaimer--that there probably come a point where neough is enough. But why look at it negatively.

Everybody told me before I married that my marraige would be harder since its cross-cultural. And I believed them. But for every thing that's hard, I have to dwell on what's good. And alot of what is good is beacuse of the cultural difference. I guess I'm an optimist--but just because its interracial, intercultural--and international--doesn't mean you're doomed for failure. It might, but why look at it that way. Sometimes I feel the cultural differences are so huge they cannot be surmounted--but they always are in time. I don't believe in doom saying. The reality is there--and its TOUGH. But the reality is not that one is doomed for failure. Sorry for the long rant.

Well, I think that could be true. But every single case is different and unique. I remember when I was dating my husband. Some people tried to sit me down and dissuade me from dating a Nigerian. One woman was telling me how Aficans treat their wives like slaves. But the other said--that in Nigeria--women were held in high esteem. But still I shouldn't date this Nigerian as he was just after a ticket to America. I'm so HAPPy I never istened to their advice. And I do feel like my husband holds me in high esteem--so that part has been true for me.

As far as staying at home and raising children. my husband fully expects me to have a good paying job and fully supports me in continuing my education. He really doesn't want a stay at home wife which at times seems kind of nice to me! But I'd rather have someone support me to be all I can be--then someone who forces me to stay at home.

Wishing you the best!

to ET: Vikky's fiance is from Nigeria, in Malaysia--so she can get support from to cultural groups!

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Kind Viking.

Where You Lived: France.

How You Died: Typhoid fever.

At 5'11", I have never worn heels--except to try them on in the store--but really--there is no need for me to be 6'4".

Apple's are awesome if you'rei nto anything with media (photos, video, music, etc.) We just bought our first apple and will be our power computer for my husband's video production studio. I'm a PC person, but this MAC ROCKS!

Well I've gained 10 pounds since my marraige 8 months ago. My husband likes lots of cake and rootbear. Things I normally don't keep in the house! I eat some of the african food. But I don't think I would lose weight on it.

edited to add: I didn't lose any weight while in Afirca. I thnk I gained some--which at that point I needed to--because I had just lost 20 punds from a bad spell of of pnuemonia.

Root beer. The good kind in a bottle. My husband spent our whole honeymoon looking for the root beer in a bottle!