onwa

Sorry about the illness. Have you thought of applying or Emergency Advance Parole? If you have applied for the AOS (I-485), you go to your local office, pay the fee and fill out the form. It allows your husband to leave and come back before his AOS is approved. I know its so hard when family is sick and you cannot be together. If you have not applied for your AOS yet--you can do si immiediately so that you can also apply for advance parole.

Congrats! Can't believe they asked you allthose questions. But nice to know its over andh opefully there are no mistakes on the greencard!

Congrats again!

Kia

Good peeves peeps.

ANother pet peeve of mine only applies to my best friend. She had a little lasoaopso who would bite people. My firend said itdn't matter because the dog was small and it didn't do harm. I say biting is biting and please train the dog better! I'm partial to big dogs anyhow. But I remember when one of our dogs bit a salesman (for no reason), we had to put her to sleep and rightfully so.

My office is in one of those places where there are a few other offices. The lady who works or the insulation compny has a little chiaua (Sp?) She always yells at the dog to "Come here. Come here." Latelty she's been counting, "1, 2, 3..come here you little rat." Does the dog get scared at 3 or what. I think its insane when parents count to their kids. But counting to a dog. Definitely a pet peeve of mine.

So what are your "pet" peeves?

Congrats on the weight loss! I'm on a 2 canker sores on my freaking tongue diet. It hurts too much to eat. Seriously, I've lost like 5 pounds already! I'd rather not lose weight and be able to eat!

I had insomnia for 2 years. Nothing helped. SOmetimes I would take sleep meds. Most imes I wouldn't. I tried various herbs and excercises to no avail. My insomnia stopped when my now husband arrived. Its only in his arms I can really sleep. I just learned how to live with no sleep during those 2 years. Hopefully you will find something that works for you. Otherwise just take the meds.

There seems to be a common theme with the women on here... the dreaded "silent treatment". Where the hell do you guys learn that from? Is there a special class you guys go to to learn how to do it?

It's just plain annoying!!!

Well my husband is the one who likes to do the silent treatment. During major fights--we have gone more than 4 days without speaking. BUt its been a long time since we've done that. I guess were learning how to fight fair too.

We both want kids but not right now! Maybe in about 2 years time. I'm so enjoying just being married.

Yeah... my EAD application still says its taking 90-120 days to process. MY AOS application hasn't been 'touched' since OCtober 1st, 2005, yet we have an interview date. Some people don't get anyy love. But as long as they still approve the applications, I don't much care!

I would make an INFOPASS appointment with the local office (the one where you did your interview). I would also get your senators and congressman involved. All of them. You never know which one will actually end up being helpful.

Congrats! What exciting news!

Getting police reports from other countires can be a hassle. We started on ours before we got the NOA2 because 1) we knew its not so easy to get one from other countries and 2) South Africa gives interview really fast (our interview was scheduled for 10 days after we returned the checklist via fax. I would wait on the Ghana one, but the other countires, I would at least look into how long it might take. Also see if your fiance has friends or family in the other countries to help him out. We had to do that as donig it the official way took like 6 months.

Also see how long it takes for interviews to be scehduled in Ghana to decide when to start getting police reports.

How we got our police report from Nigeria while in South Africa was to that we requested the forms (I think it was available on line) then he took he fingerprints locally--sent the forms and fingerprints to a fmaily memeber--who travelled all the way to Lagos to turn them in and then they personally picked them up. We sent everything DHL--because the first time we tried everything got lost. IT was an expensive endeavor--but the mail system sucks and if there is no one there to personally get it for you--it could take forever.

When our case was 180 past. We made an INFOPASS appointment. When our case was 222 days past due I contacted the 2 senators and the congressman for our state. I called them every Monday and only one was helpful. But they got us our interview date. Turns out it had gotten stuck on the bottom of somebody's desk and my senator was very helpful. But only 1 of 3 ended up being helpful. My advice. Contact them all and follow up with them at least once per week by phone. Best wishes!

Congrats! That's a major accomplishment!

So much drama this morning! Where's my coffee? Seems awful silly to threaten someone on an internet forum.

Major misrepresentation may get you somewhere in the short run, but no where in the long term of things. My friend married a Nigerian who lied about who he was, who his family was, and then he left after he got the greencard and the whole truth came out.

Anyhow, off to get my coffee---if someone really lied to me about who they were--they would be adios.

I'm not black American--but when my fiance got here--we didn't stay in the same place--well at least we tried HE stayed with our roommate and I for about a week before our apartment was ready and then I moved in aftwe we were married. BUt in truth--I think I stayed there the last month before we were married. So yeah, some couples don't stay together--but its hard. I would get calls at 4 in the morning to come over (it was a 5 min. drive) and I always would.

I would talk to one of the pastors at the place you worship. In our marraige, talking to the pastors and the small group leaders has gotten us through some of our rough patches. And show the girl lots of love and affection. that's my 2 cents. As everyone else has said, the beginning is rough but if you both work on it, it does get better.

IMO

when you can come to a point where you can tell each other to F*&^ off, or can say Fu*& you (at the appropriate place and time). without anyone crying , pissing or gettting offended (long term)

thats what i call mutual love and respect

nessa and i had a talk about those words. that such would only be said in the form of a question and the one asking would be naked

haha.. we have a similar agreement

IMO

when you can come to a point where you can tell each other to F*&^ off, or can say Fu*& you (at the appropriate place and time). without anyone crying , pissing or gettting offended (long term)

thats what i call mutual love and respect

nessa and i had a talk about those words. that such would only be said in the form of a question and the one asking would be naked

haha.. we have a similar agreement

but more seriously. respect means different things to different people. For us, we both learn by trial and error about what is respectful and what is disrespectful in our rleationship. And sometimes it like "Wow, I had no idea that would bother you." So seems like good communication is the key to respect.

All good replies.

For me, there is a difference in acting respectful towards others and showing respect in your marraige. I also think that respect needs to be earned before you marry someone.

However, in the day to day living when your partner does something that normally would not earn your respect. Do you sho respect anyway?

Or if I am acting horrible and emotional for whatever reason, does my husband show me love anyway.

Is unconditional love more important than unconditional respect? In marraige.

I know for our situation, my husband would rather have my respect instead of love. and me love instead of respect.

I guess it is as Cangal was saying. When I show my husband respect, he feel loved. When my husband shows me love, I feel respected.

Keep the posts coming. Its interesting to hear others' thoughts on this.

I always thought that respect had to be earned. But now that I've been married almost a year, I have changed my mind.

Just as I want unconditional love from my husband, my husband wants unconditional respect from me. Its been a complete mind change for me but its as almost as a light bulb went off in my head. I don't know if this is a men are mars, women are from venus type thing or what. I also wonder if it is an American thing to think that respect must be earned. I guess I still feel that is true, but within marraige, I think that decision was already made when I married him--i.e. If I didn't respect him, I wouldn't have married him.

Anyway, just wondering what other thoughts were on this subject.

They are going to die... what are they going to sue them for??

Well, it could be awhile (20 +) years before you do. I say that if a person contracted HIV from someone who failed to disclose that information, the person would be sued for medical costs and any other related thing to HIV.

THanks for the well wishes. We got the actual interview letter so we're all good to go. Now to send a thank you letter to the person who made it all possible!

Hope everyone is planning on having a good time this Fourth of July!

Kia

Congrats! Getting the EAD is exciting. Can't tell you how long it took to get the card because our online status still says they are processesing the EAD--we got the card directly in the mail after 2 months from the receipt date.

Now is a good time to start applying for jobs though. The cvard should be there in the next 2 weeks.

Thanks for the well wishes! Now to receive a had copy of an invitation letter!

I don't know what all is correct or not, but what the officer said was that 3 months before our 2 year wedding anniversary we could file to lift conditions. We got married 12/28/04 so that would be 9/28/06 ( in just 3 months). We hadn't been married for 2 years at the time of your AOS so we got the 2 year conditional. I don't know if she is correct in what she said or not, but that is what she said. Thanks everyone for your well wishes.

I really think you were misinformed about the lifting conditions. It should be done 1 year and 9 months from the date on your green card. I took the following from the USCIS webpage:

You and your spouse must apply together to remove the conditions on your residence. You should apply during the 90 days before your second anniversary as a conditional resident. The expiration date on your alien registration card (commonly know as green card) is also the date of your second anniversary as a conditional resident. If you do not apply to remove the conditions in time, you could lose your conditional resident status and be removed from the country.

http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/howdoi/remcond.htm

If you need further clarification youm ight want to make an INFOPASS appointment. I would hate to see you lose money on an application.

Best wishes. Kia

Yay!

Our AOS interview will be on our one year wedding anniversary, August 14th. We are so happy to be moving on to the next stage. We should be receiving the interview notice in the mail shortly!

Emeka has been here over a year now and its so wonderful having him by my side. He makes me laugh till I cry and spoils me rotten. Now we can finally be on our way to citizenship and a great vacation in Europe!

I tried both senators and a congressman. ONly one was helpful. I'm glad I decided to try them all--and I pestered them every week. After only 3 weeks of getting them involved--we have our date!