BethandBilly

Wow, this is a heartbreaker.
I agree that being close to family is the most important, and take things a day or even an hour at a time. Try to avoid major decisions right now, what you need to do will become clearer as the days wear on. Take care of yourself and find someone you can talk to.
Also, to the above, the OP was asking a rhetorical question. She wasn't asking for your thoughts on a difficult and personal decision.

It's only been a couple of days. Any chance he might change his mind?
Also, Holy Pro Life on this thread! Shame on everyone for trying to sway you on this very personal decision.

Am I understanding this correctly, you entered the US on the VWP with three children in tow, met a man and proceeded to marry him in 3 months? Was there something you were running from in your home country? Is the father of your children aware you are married and the kids may now be in danger? Have you filed for AOS, if so how could you afford to if your husband has spent all your money? What were your intentions on entering the US with your three children? You have no ties to the US so why don't you return to Switzerland, its a beautiful country, you're free there, just wondering what is holding you back from returning home.
Don't get me wrong I don't condone anyform of violence and he should be punished for what he has done, I'm just trying to figure out your situation and how it came about.

I think you played the immigration game one too many times and now its coming back to bite you in the butt. Any sympathy and understanding I had for your situation is gone, I think may be its time you grew up and found a woman your own age.

This post is really not about you, please don't make into another post about you and your situation. I know I know before you say it, "its about helping us all", this statement is no longer true where you are concerned.
SD I've seen your topics and I know you're trying to get info together, but really dude you are going about it all the wrong way, I understand your frustration at not getting the answers YOU want and I know your situation, true or not, is not an easy one. Seriously if you have more questions you need answers or want answers to please start a new topic and let people reply there, please don't hijack yet another post.

Once you established de facto parent standing I think you should start considering a termination of biological mother’s rights huh? .You need a family lawyer to help you.

She sounds like her interest in you is tied to how much money you put in her account. They have a word for woman that work like that and it isn't wife. She may just be too immature to be married but you are letting her ruin your life. At the very least get a separation and cut her off from your funds as much as is allowed. If the relationship is still there she will work on it once you cut her off from her fix. If not you are better off finding out now that later. Hire an investigotor to see if she has her own place and if she has help paying the rent.

Open new accounts under your name and transfer all your funds before you lose it all, if you haven't. You wont be able to make her happy by giving her your hard working savings, it is very obvious [in my own selfish opinion] she is a lot more interested in other things and not the relationship.. After you take everything away, you will know if indeed she is in the relationship or is just interest.
Good luck..

Objectively, it does not matter she does not want counseling or a divorce. What matters is what YOU want. If you want a divorce get one and move on with your life. IMHO she is using all the possible excuses she can to stay away from you and remain married so as not to lose her green card.
Take your life back and move on.

Im so sorry you relationship didnt turn out as you had planned,yes there will always be folk out there that have ulterior motives but bad marriages can happen anywhere at anytime with anyone.
Please realise that not all non USC are out to scam and gain a greencard in America,many of us come from beautiful countrys with family and friends that we love and we will be heartbroken when the time comes to leave them behind.
Its understandable that anyone who has 'been burnt' as a result of this process feels bitter and angry. Strength and peace to them.

Oh they all have an agenda all right.. My wife's was to be with her burnin' hunk-o-love full time

No, certain people from certain countries are much much more likely to be scammers. I would REFUSE to receive any correspondence from anyone from these countries unless I had lived there and met them in person or something. I'm sorry but, don't "meet" someone online and expect romance-film love. Spend lots of time with them, "real life" time, not time where you're both vacationing somewhere and it's a near honeymoon.
And yeah, before you all point out how much of a racist/xenophobe/unfair person I'm being, I filed a 129F before for an Australian guy who I found out (thankfully before we got to the embassy stage) that he was in it just for the chance to live in the States, and of course his country is not high fraud at all. Of course there are plenty of folks here who've only spent a few days or weeks with their significant others and have good relationships, but come on, pay attention to red flags. Chances are against you.

Mojority of forgein marriages are fraud? I get sick when i hear comments like that ... Sorry, but you have been misinformed! The majority are real, but there are also a few fraud ones, mostly from the same countries.

Sorry about your predicament, but that can happen even if not a foreign relationship.
My ex-wife and I were together for 12 years (4 actually married) and it wasn't until we had a son together that she decided to show true colors and file for divorce after she was guaranteed a steady sizable income by seating on her *** as part of child support. And she wasn't a foreigner, born and raised good ole southern girl <right>.
Marriage is a gamble no matter what/where/how/whom. Just be ready for whatever life throws your way. Only way to sort of prevent similar situation: GET A PRENUP!!!

I am so sorry this happened to you and I hope you will be able to heal quickly.
But If you think this is an international marriage problem only, then you are mistaken.
This kind of thing happens domestically everyday.

Sorry that this happened to you.
In life there are no guarantees.
My Ex is a pathological liar, caniver, deceptioon artist, child/parent alienator and also an American. I say this to show that these things happen also with USC to USC marriages.
One thing I will also add is that you did not loose a Daughter. She will turn 18 one day and you can then reignite your relationship without any distraction.
You can make more money, buy more huses, properties, etc .
I know this is a clique but do not get hung up on her or the system that enables people like her. Move on. Success is the best revenge.
I feel for you Brother.

NiNi123,
I'm sorry this happened to you but unfortunately, since he already has a green card, you are not able to withdraw your Affidavit of Support contract with the Government. They have already issued the green card and you can only withdraw the I-864 before they issue a green card. If he has a 10 year green card that means the marriage was already more than 2 years old when he entered the US. If you believe he deliberately entered a marriage with you only so he could come to the US, then your only option is to provide documentary proof of the fraud to ICE. If ICE investigates and discovers that he committed immigration fraud, and if they deport him, then you will no longer be 'on the hook' for the Affidavit of Support. It is more likely, unless you have compelling written evidence to support your claim, that nothing will happen. If you do not have documentary proof, then the best thing you can do is to divorce him and move on with your life. As was mentioned above, your Affidavit of Support contract with the US Government will remain in place until he becomes a US citizen (5 years), he obtains 40 quarters of qualified work employment (10 years), he permanently leaves the US, he dies or you die. I'm sorry.

I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that if he has his green card, you cannot withdraw the I-864 anymore.
Your obligation ends when he either naturalizes, abandons his green card, works 40 qualifying quarters (10 years) or one of you die.

I became a citizen for three reasons:
a) my husband and son are American and should anything happen to my husband I need to know I am in a good position with regards care for my son.
b) to get my hubby of the hook for the I-864, he wasn't worried about it but I was
c) I am very proud of my home country but I am also proud of the US, I am now a Dual Citizen and stand up for both countries when they are being slated
I have lived all over the world and enjoyed every minute of it, but I now class New England as my home, as with me being Northern Irish I feel quite at home up in the Mass. area

Here's my interpretation and speculation of what the redflags were.
The wife has overstayed her visa. She meets, falls in love with, and gets married to a USC man on disability in a matter of months.
Included with their application is pictures which were, at best, confusing. (Apparently there were pictures of friends in there?) At worst, they looked staged. The first question out of the IO when she saw the wife was "who are you?" That implies to me that she felt she had seen pictures of someone other than the wife in the application.
Also included with the application was a sealed I-864 package, demonstrating that the sponsor didn't really trust them with her information. Somehow the IO knew the maiden name of the sponsor, but the applicants did not. (When did the sponsor/friend change her name? How long have they been friends?) No one will ever know what else the sponsor might have thrown in that envelope.
We don't know what the other evidence included with the application was. But the evidence brought to the interview was, for the most part, weak.
Maybe there are lessons to be learned there for others. In any case, I don't see racism or discrimination. I see an IO doing their job. Maybe not nicely, but they're not required to be nice.

I don't see how this film has anything to do with this? Some Muslim nut in Pakistan can make a porn movie about Jesus having sex with underage children. I doubt you'll see RPGs fired at the Pakistani embassy in Washington..

So we jsut helped free a Muslim county from a brutal dictator. In return Terrorist. launch a coordinated attack against our embassy on the Anniversary of 9-11 and assassinate the ambassador.
The same person who has been telling us all about about what peace loving people Muslims are and how you despise terrorist, is outrage at the maker of a film. I am speechless but not surprised.
Agree. I pretty much learned everything I need to know on 9-11.

It is beyond me how anyone can get so worked up over any film. Or slight to their diety, real or imagined.

Well this has finally changed my views. It used to pi$$ me off the way Israel treated Palestinians. Now I could care less about any Muslims in the middle east.
You save a country from a 40 year dictator, and then instead of sending a cake and saying thanks, they send RPGs. All over a bad movie no one would've ever watched. Now they've just guaranteed that millions will see that bad movie.
Time to pull out of Afghanistan and any other muslim countries NOW! Let them go back to killing each other.

There is definately a ethical line that gets crossed when you know its going to cause a reaction that hurts other people, yet every time this happens I can't help but note the irony of the situation in that the reaction often validates the original piece that caused the reaction.