adiiann

I agree on attending the interview with the fiancé. Goodluck.

or they might take offense by saying the income inequality was a prevailing factor in their decision to marry their husband.

Most women wanted to be self-sufficient. Yes, she should prepare herself to be able to protect herself on whatever outcome of her marriage. But being self-sufficient needs to have more support and luck in life. Moving in the different places without money or very little savings, with culture adjustment and familiarization and trying to adapt in new environment are not an easy task. Even though, for a professional person, moving here will return your accreditation to zero. You will start again from the bottom.
We can try to make ourselves self-sufficient as much as we wanted, but its a long way down the road.

I am not divorced as well as my husband, so I am hoping to make sense. What efficient manner you wanted to suggest to the OP after she already talked to him about her feelings? As for beneficiary, yes, children should always be the priority but I believe that you need to consider your wife. When you get older and kids will have their independence, who's going to stay with you?... your spouse. He/She is there for you to remember your birthday even though your kids forget it, he/she is there to take care of you when your kids are too busy with their lives. We marry our spouses because we love and trust them, that's why we make them part of ourselves, as part of ourselves, you don't want to hurt them and we respect them. But if you marry your spouse with different agenda and it showed on how you deal with the marriage, then he/she have the right to react in a way to cope up with the situation, as he/she marries you for the reason of loving you.
We're not in the shoes of the OP, to just say, "Hey, this... and that.... what you need to do.." She's in the middle of uncertainties, she's not happy and scared to loss her marriage. I guess she tried to gather experiences from VJ members, to analyze her situation as well as to make sure that she's not trying to justify her behavior.
I don't think OP giving grief on that. It's more the lack of respect for your spouse. Talking more than the concerns of their kids is not necessary esp. if your wife is around. Their only binding string is the kids, and that should be the boundary of the communication. I think "decent terms" is you talked civilized, negotiate for the greater good and act accordingly(which mean also, respect individual's partner).

Darren, you are one of the Americans who have a freakin' armadillo skin, people cursing you because you are such a big mouth stupid American. Geez! Streotyping is not humor that you always refer about your wife cultural individuality. "browntail tuna", that's how you see your wife, you're freakin' old man than my husband and yet you didn't know how "to respect". I honestly pity your wife that she fell on someone like you. You only got money and tons of arrogance.

Darren, you are one of the Americans who have a freakin' armadillo skin, people cursing you because you are such a big mouth stupid American. Geez! Streotyping is not humor that you always refer about your wife cultural individuality. "browntail tuna", that's how you see your wife, you're freakin' old man than my husband and yet you didn't know how "to respect". I honestly pity your wife that she fell on someone like you. You only got money and tons of arrogance.

So, whats your point other than obviously stating that you are far better than him because you treat your girl better?

So, whats your point other than obviously stating that you are far better than him because you treat your girl better?

Never experience your first statement.... I mean when my brother-in-law brings his kids to creamery, they just tell them, and they will just get in the car.
As for your second statement...... Never heard that before, usually, for non-necessary item, they don't get it and put it as credit. I've known this as when I was younger, we had sari-sari store.
I don't think you are trying to portray difference in culture, but difference in family perspective as it's not common practice in both countries.

So, whats your point other than obviously stating that you are far better than him because you treat your girl better?

So, whats your point other than obviously stating that you are far better than him because you treat your girl better?

So, whats your point other than obviously stating that you are far better than him because you treat your girl better?

So, whats your point other than obviously stating that you are far better than him because you treat your girl better?

So, whats your point other than obviously stating that you are far better than him because you treat your girl better?

So, whats your point other than obviously stating that you are far better than him because you treat your girl better?

Let me get this straight. Are you an American, trying to be smartass about Filipinos? You obviously generalized in your statement that all Filipinos conform to your idea. Well, just letting you know that I don't send money to my family in regular basis, but mostly gifts, so they don't live like "one-day billionaire". They worked hard to buy what they wanted, not sucking money from me to make themselves look good. And I will gladly invite you to our house in the Philippines, to show to you that our ceramic floor is shinning even though we don't have helper.
Your statement is implying that all Filipinos are like that. You are talking in particular with a very limited basis. If Filipinos spend money the way you imply, then, why there's rich Filipinos, there shouldn't be because you said Filipinos spend all their money to look good and doesn't care about the future.
I saw a lot of crazy Americans, so should I say that Americans are crazy? Or should I say "some Americans are crazy as there are Americans that don't do crazy things."
My two cents, every culture have their own flaws but you can't conclude that every individual belong on certain culture is the same.

Hi. I don't want to be rude and I've been here since my K1 visa, your post is great but was discussed here a lot of times. New members will keep posting different questions and concerns, same as what you've posted. And old members will always be diligently share their experiences to educate those in midst of the journey. This is a public forum, topics may go in different turns because of different point of view but you're still getting good response from other members. Just don't take things too serious, VJ'ers might having fun with forum but sure enough, they try to help others to get through the journey. Just chill.
Besides, not all Filipino fiancé or spouse really have the hard time with the process. I never had problem with the process as I followed the guidelines that was posted here.

I am not divorced as well as my husband, so I am hoping to make sense. What efficient manner you wanted to suggest to the OP after she already talked to him about her feelings? As for beneficiary, yes, children should always be the priority but I believe that you need to consider your wife. When you get older and kids will have their independence, who's going to stay with you?... your spouse. He/She is there for you to remember your birthday even though your kids forget it, he/she is there to take care of you when your kids are too busy with their lives. We marry our spouses because we love and trust them, that's why we make them part of ourselves, as part of ourselves, you don't want to hurt them and we respect them. But if you marry your spouse with different agenda and it showed on how you deal with the marriage, then he/she have the right to react in a way to cope up with the situation, as he/she marries you for the reason of loving you.
We're not in the shoes of the OP, to just say, "Hey, this... and that.... what you need to do.." She's in the middle of uncertainties, she's not happy and scared to loss her marriage. I guess she tried to gather experiences from VJ members, to analyze her situation as well as to make sure that she's not trying to justify her behavior.
I don't think OP giving grief on that. It's more the lack of respect for your spouse. Talking more than the concerns of their kids is not necessary esp. if your wife is around. Their only binding string is the kids, and that should be the boundary of the communication. I think "decent terms" is you talked civilized, negotiate for the greater good and act accordingly(which mean also, respect individual's partner).

Never experience your first statement.... I mean when my brother-in-law brings his kids to creamery, they just tell them, and they will just get in the car.
As for your second statement...... Never heard that before, usually, for non-necessary item, they don't get it and put it as credit. I've known this as when I was younger, we had sari-sari store.
I don't think you are trying to portray difference in culture, but difference in family perspective as it's not common practice in both countries.

Most women wanted to be self-sufficient. Yes, she should prepare herself to be able to protect herself on whatever outcome of her marriage. But being self-sufficient needs to have more support and luck in life. Moving in the different places without money or very little savings, with culture adjustment and familiarization and trying to adapt in new environment are not an easy task. Even though, for a professional person, moving here will return your accreditation to zero. You will start again from the bottom.
We can try to make ourselves self-sufficient as much as we wanted, but its a long way down the road.

Most women wanted to be self-sufficient. Yes, she should prepare herself to be able to protect herself on whatever outcome of her marriage. But being self-sufficient needs to have more support and luck in life. Moving in the different places without money or very little savings, with culture adjustment and familiarization and trying to adapt in new environment are not an easy task. Even though, for a professional person, moving here will return your accreditation to zero. You will start again from the bottom.
We can try to make ourselves self-sufficient as much as we wanted, but its a long way down the road.

I am not divorced as well as my husband, so I am hoping to make sense. What efficient manner you wanted to suggest to the OP after she already talked to him about her feelings? As for beneficiary, yes, children should always be the priority but I believe that you need to consider your wife. When you get older and kids will have their independence, who's going to stay with you?... your spouse. He/She is there for you to remember your birthday even though your kids forget it, he/she is there to take care of you when your kids are too busy with their lives. We marry our spouses because we love and trust them, that's why we make them part of ourselves, as part of ourselves, you don't want to hurt them and we respect them. But if you marry your spouse with different agenda and it showed on how you deal with the marriage, then he/she have the right to react in a way to cope up with the situation, as he/she marries you for the reason of loving you.
We're not in the shoes of the OP, to just say, "Hey, this... and that.... what you need to do.." She's in the middle of uncertainties, she's not happy and scared to loss her marriage. I guess she tried to gather experiences from VJ members, to analyze her situation as well as to make sure that she's not trying to justify her behavior.
I don't think OP giving grief on that. It's more the lack of respect for your spouse. Talking more than the concerns of their kids is not necessary esp. if your wife is around. Their only binding string is the kids, and that should be the boundary of the communication. I think "decent terms" is you talked civilized, negotiate for the greater good and act accordingly(which mean also, respect individual's partner).

Never experience your first statement.... I mean when my brother-in-law brings his kids to creamery, they just tell them, and they will just get in the car.
As for your second statement...... Never heard that before, usually, for non-necessary item, they don't get it and put it as credit. I've known this as when I was younger, we had sari-sari store.
I don't think you are trying to portray difference in culture, but difference in family perspective as it's not common practice in both countries.