Yeah, these types of conversations have to happen BEFORE marriage. In the case of my husband and me, we lived together after marriage for more than a year before we even decided to move to the States- and when we decided, I continued living here during the entire I-130 process. Although I make a dollar salary in my teaching job, he was gainfully employed as well. Our salaries don't exactly match, but he has no hesitation in contributing to "us".
It is true you marry a culture and not just the person, which is why I think some time should be spent in the spouse's home country as well.