bogrob

I think you are cherry picking information from what I've said. First, I do care about her family back home. However, this was already an issue even before she moved here. She was not depressed about this before. I do care for her feelings but I also feel that I shouldn't have to suffer because of this. If she were here telling you guys that I was depressed and taking my anger out in her, you'd be helping her plot her exit.
 
As far as the name, yes I do consider it a slap in the face. As I mentioned before, she initially said she would take it. It wasn't an issue at all. It was after she came here that she immediately changed her mind in the end. I dealt with it as best as I could but I have a right to be upset about it. If she had initially said she wasn't sure in the beginning, I would feel better about it. 
 
Finally, I am a man and I need sex. All my parts work correctly and I get horny at times just as other men. I said it's unfair that she could be around me in this matter and not have sex with me. Maybe my sex drive is higher but should I apologize for that???
 
So there's nothing abusive about what I said and I'm not a rapist. I'm just pouring out my feelings to get help to save my marriage. You are right that there are 2 sides to every story but I tried my best to lay everything out honestly so I could get a fair assessment. I'm sorry about your previous relationship but I am not him.

I think you are cherry picking information from what I've said. First, I do care about her family back home. However, this was already an issue even before she moved here. She was not depressed about this before. I do care for her feelings but I also feel that I shouldn't have to suffer because of this. If she were here telling you guys that I was depressed and taking my anger out in her, you'd be helping her plot her exit.
 
As far as the name, yes I do consider it a slap in the face. As I mentioned before, she initially said she would take it. It wasn't an issue at all. It was after she came here that she immediately changed her mind in the end. I dealt with it as best as I could but I have a right to be upset about it. If she had initially said she wasn't sure in the beginning, I would feel better about it. 
 
Finally, I am a man and I need sex. All my parts work correctly and I get horny at times just as other men. I said it's unfair that she could be around me in this matter and not have sex with me. Maybe my sex drive is higher but should I apologize for that???
 
So there's nothing abusive about what I said and I'm not a rapist. I'm just pouring out my feelings to get help to save my marriage. You are right that there are 2 sides to every story but I tried my best to lay everything out honestly so I could get a fair assessment. I'm sorry about your previous relationship but I am not him.

I can't tell if you are being serious or not. I never said that she isn't cleaning enough. I was only upset about the last name since she promised before.  And yes, I am demanding sex more frequently twice per year. If that makes me whiney then so be it. I have feelings and needs just like everybody else. I don't understand why I need to be Captain America while she gets to do any and everything that she wants in this relationship. 
 
Lastly, I have taken her on some trips to try to change scenery. We enjoyed it and I thought we connected more nothing changed. She's told me that she wants to be a better wife but I don't know what the hell that means. I tried to pull it out of her but she wouldn't elaborate. 

I can't tell if you are being serious or not. I never said that she isn't cleaning enough. I was only upset about the last name since she promised before.  And yes, I am demanding sex more frequently twice per year. If that makes me whiney then so be it. I have feelings and needs just like everybody else. I don't understand why I need to be Captain America while she gets to do any and everything that she wants in this relationship. 
 
Lastly, I have taken her on some trips to try to change scenery. We enjoyed it and I thought we connected more nothing changed. She's told me that she wants to be a better wife but I don't know what the hell that means. I tried to pull it out of her but she wouldn't elaborate. 

That's exactly what I'm saying. It upsets me how people can say the last name isn't a big deal. On it's on, it really isn't that big of a deal. If she would have told me she wasn't sure about it, that would have been better. If she would have told me no, then the ball would have been in my court about whether or not I wanted to continue the relationship. The fact that she told me 100% yes and changed her mind after coming here is a big slap in the face and makes me feel like I was deceived. I'm only human just like everyone else. If it didn't still bother me then I wouldn't be here talking about it now.

That's exactly what I'm saying. It upsets me how people can say the last name isn't a big deal. On it's on, it really isn't that big of a deal. If she would have told me she wasn't sure about it, that would have been better. If she would have told me no, then the ball would have been in my court about whether or not I wanted to continue the relationship. The fact that she told me 100% yes and changed her mind after coming here is a big slap in the face and makes me feel like I was deceived. I'm only human just like everyone else. If it didn't still bother me then I wouldn't be here talking about it now.

That's exactly what I'm saying. It upsets me how people can say the last name isn't a big deal. On it's on, it really isn't that big of a deal. If she would have told me she wasn't sure about it, that would have been better. If she would have told me no, then the ball would have been in my court about whether or not I wanted to continue the relationship. The fact that she told me 100% yes and changed her mind after coming here is a big slap in the face and makes me feel like I was deceived. I'm only human just like everyone else. If it didn't still bother me then I wouldn't be here talking about it now.

That's exactly what I'm saying. It upsets me how people can say the last name isn't a big deal. On it's on, it really isn't that big of a deal. If she would have told me she wasn't sure about it, that would have been better. If she would have told me no, then the ball would have been in my court about whether or not I wanted to continue the relationship. The fact that she told me 100% yes and changed her mind after coming here is a big slap in the face and makes me feel like I was deceived. I'm only human just like everyone else. If it didn't still bother me then I wouldn't be here talking about it now.

That's exactly what I'm saying. It upsets me how people can say the last name isn't a big deal. On it's on, it really isn't that big of a deal. If she would have told me she wasn't sure about it, that would have been better. If she would have told me no, then the ball would have been in my court about whether or not I wanted to continue the relationship. The fact that she told me 100% yes and changed her mind after coming here is a big slap in the face and makes me feel like I was deceived. I'm only human just like everyone else. If it didn't still bother me then I wouldn't be here talking about it now.

That's exactly what I'm saying. It upsets me how people can say the last name isn't a big deal. On it's on, it really isn't that big of a deal. If she would have told me she wasn't sure about it, that would have been better. If she would have told me no, then the ball would have been in my court about whether or not I wanted to continue the relationship. The fact that she told me 100% yes and changed her mind after coming here is a big slap in the face and makes me feel like I was deceived. I'm only human just like everyone else. If it didn't still bother me then I wouldn't be here talking about it now.

I can't tell if you are being serious or not. I never said that she isn't cleaning enough. I was only upset about the last name since she promised before.  And yes, I am demanding sex more frequently twice per year. If that makes me whiney then so be it. I have feelings and needs just like everybody else. I don't understand why I need to be Captain America while she gets to do any and everything that she wants in this relationship. 
 
Lastly, I have taken her on some trips to try to change scenery. We enjoyed it and I thought we connected more nothing changed. She's told me that she wants to be a better wife but I don't know what the hell that means. I tried to pull it out of her but she wouldn't elaborate. 

That's exactly what I'm saying. It upsets me how people can say the last name isn't a big deal. On it's on, it really isn't that big of a deal. If she would have told me she wasn't sure about it, that would have been better. If she would have told me no, then the ball would have been in my court about whether or not I wanted to continue the relationship. The fact that she told me 100% yes and changed her mind after coming here is a big slap in the face and makes me feel like I was deceived. I'm only human just like everyone else. If it didn't still bother me then I wouldn't be here talking about it now.

I can't tell if you are being serious or not. I never said that she isn't cleaning enough. I was only upset about the last name since she promised before.  And yes, I am demanding sex more frequently twice per year. If that makes me whiney then so be it. I have feelings and needs just like everybody else. I don't understand why I need to be Captain America while she gets to do any and everything that she wants in this relationship. 
 
Lastly, I have taken her on some trips to try to change scenery. We enjoyed it and I thought we connected more nothing changed. She's told me that she wants to be a better wife but I don't know what the hell that means. I tried to pull it out of her but she wouldn't elaborate. 

I thought about it  but I'm not sure how useful a marriage counselor would be. 
 
That's what I'm thinking but I feel like I need to give her the benefit of the doubt since everyone needs some time to adjust to a new place. I'm her 2nd boyfriend in her life so as stupid as it sounds, I think she doesn't know how to love someone. 

I thought about it  but I'm not sure how useful a marriage counselor would be. 
 
That's what I'm thinking but I feel like I need to give her the benefit of the doubt since everyone needs some time to adjust to a new place. I'm her 2nd boyfriend in her life so as stupid as it sounds, I think she doesn't know how to love someone. 

I see what you are saying. I just felt that marriage counseling wouldn't be useful since they might not have experience with dealing with someone new to this country. Everyone that has been through the K1 process knows that it puts its own unique strain on a marriage. Let alone all of the other issues that we are having. 

So do you think it would be wrong for me to ask her to help. I have more than enough to handle everything but some months can be tougher than others. I think it's not about the money. I just want to feel that she loves me or at least cares about me like she used to tell me. 

So do you think it would be wrong for me to ask her to help. I have more than enough to handle everything but some months can be tougher than others. I think it's not about the money. I just want to feel that she loves me or at least cares about me like she used to tell me. 

I don't want to be the one to be on the divorce train, but it sounds like you have tried to talk to her about your feelings, she says she will do better but it hasn't changed, you need to do what in your heart you know you need to do but being a man of moral values, you know it would be hard on her, if she has no friends no family, here yes harder on her, but an emotional drain on you creating anxiety on you, this isn't what you signed up for. You signed up to be committed to a marriage to love honor and cherish through good times and in bad times, however marriage is a partnership, a commitment that takes more than 1 side to accomplish. 
 
IMO give her the chance, bring up marriage counseling, and express your feelings, see how the reaction of the counseling goes, if is accepted well try things, if things stall or she makes excuses as to why she can't go doesn't want to go when it comes time, you can tell her divorce is the next option see if she changes you can wait a time set by you, if still no changes file, have her served with the papers, allow her to stay in the home until she makes enough money for her own place deposit first month rent and a bed, help her manage finance as what it will take to live on her own and then end the ties move on and start to heal.