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3 minutes ago, javadown2 said:

I can already tell you that this won't work if your just rushing it, if you really want to be with someone you will do WHATEVER it takes to be together. Sounds like you can't afford the process and exactly why can't you wait another year, who cares if you are 37, life goes on so slow down and try to just be patient. Most people don't research into the process of getting a visa and find out the hard way. 

But honestly after reading all that you've responded I think your heart isn't into this guy, just saying your ready to throw it all away....good luck with this. 

Thanks.   I knew the process long before I met him....ive spent 1.5yrs with him  waiting 

I can also afford what I choose to.  I won't piss away money on someone that won't do the same 

The embassy doesn't get to decide who is right for me. No pos co in Serbia is going to tell me how to live my life 

27 minutes ago, Auds said:

I have been there in diff circumstances maybe but I know what you are saying - hats off to not sending him money - I did that sort of thing too.

 

you can't make him into what he is not.  (This is a msg to OP only).  You are intelligent enough to see religion for what it is like most people with high IQ.  Unfortunately we do have our need of companionship which again is a reality and how human make up is.  Not this one though it won't last.  Let it go.

Thank you for your kind words

3 minutes ago, Illiria said:

I don’t judge you at all in this, I judge him - he is a (filters won’t let me use the word).

 

You and your kids deserve so much more than this, wanting companionship is totally valid. Why don’t you take the money you would have spent on his aos and spend it on yourself - getting sitters for the kids or a club they can go to- and then going and learning a new hobby yourself something you enjoy and you never know you might meet someone? 

 

Being expected to foot the bill when it was his fault you didn’t get photos when he was spending time with you is dumb, you have told him he needs to work to fix that but he hasn’t so far, well bye bye. I saved up and paid for my trips to see my husband when he moved back to the states, I saved enough so that it covered the months after a fiancé visa where I knew I wouldn’t be able to work because it was the right thing to do and I certainly didn’t begrudge my husband for it.

 

If he cant see the need to put you and your kids first now then he never will be and you deserve someone who can do that not just for your kids sake but for yours

as well.

Thank you.  Trhat is exactly how I feel.  If I have to scrape and save that m7ch money at this point I will use it for myself and my kids.     He's a 25yr old able bodied educated man. He could have worked all this time.  It was bad enough I knew he wouldn't have much money when he got here for awhile but as time passed and he flat out refused to save what he had or go out and earn more a huge red flag.   He is harrising me non stop not to withdraw the petition.   I hate togive up something I've worked countless hours on but at the same time I can't imagine just leaving the case open (or the door for him to try and convince me I need him) for another year

6 minutes ago, JFH said:

As I said on your other thread (when you said the reason for not having any photos together was your choice because you don't like having your picture taken, now it's because he was scared of being busted because of his girlfriend at the time), if you post your story publicly you have to be prepared for reactions that you don't like. I would also remind you that telling others not to post is against the TOS of this website and can result in administrative action being taken against your account. 

 

Yes the process is a burden. I've been through it. We also had a denial for my husband's UK visa (our first choice was to live in the U.K.) before we went through this. It took 2 years of paperwork to be together. And I'm almost 44. But you should love each other more than you hate the process. Then you'll get through it. 

 yeah last time I tried to protect him by making it my fault we didnt Have photos.    Oh well still get attacked either way.   I dont care about vj tos. I have a right to say dont attack me.   If you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. Isnt that what we teach our children?

4 minutes ago, mytruelove18 said:

Sorry for your situation, embassy is working for you, even God is working for you, even you dont belive they arent working.

Many times we want something in our life but that isnt going to be our happiness, the life sometimes try to ñut that out fron us.

On 2014 i did a k1, i went to interview and i was approved but i was put under 221 ap, it was very hard handle that, the long ap destroyed my relationship, after 2 years of long ap, but now i can say it was the best thing that happen, last year i met a nice man and now i am so happy with him.

Maybe the best thing that can happen is the long ap, you gad sais he didnt make any effort to be with you.

 

I don't believe in god.  I believe religion is a crutch created by man to justify the things he doesn't understand

3 minutes ago, JFH said:

And this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and have selected as a step-father for your children? This is how you speak of him and how you feel about the process of being together? Sounds like you think that he and the process are burdens. 

 

The 221g could be a blessing in disguise.

 

His financial problems will also be your financial problems when you're married.  

As i stated earlier.  I'm not getting into everything.   His financial issues are his choice.   They are njot something he has had no control over 

The process is a burden.  I know it's meant to weed out fraud but I'm sure it's destroyed as many people as its protected 

I'm one that is being destroyed.   That is my opinion and I am entitled toit.  Not need to comment if you disagree 

37 is old to have another child 

6 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

Often times people will come on VJ and ask "why didn't the embassy/USCIS catch this scammer before they came to the United States" and the answer is well, that is mostly your job.  Look at the facts:

 

He isn't working and wants you pay for things.

You are a single mother, a common scammer target.

He had a girlfriend when you visited.  What is stopping him from dumping you like a hot potato once he has his greencard and marrying her instead?  Pretty much nothing and you'll be financially liable for him.

The CO doesn't think there is enough evidence of your genuine relationship.

 

For the sake of your children, you really need to think about the type of man you are bringing into their lives.  Just based on what you've told us, and from someone who was also a single mother, this doesn't sound like a decent and quality man.  

 

 

He was living here in the us.   I did not go visit him.    

5 minutes ago, Perfect two 💑 said:

Actually, what is the purpose you entering this process?

 

K-1 visa means that both of you intend to get married. Yes, you are aware of the costs involved in this process. However, are you willing to invest in that cost?

Let me conclude from what you told us before. You guys are together for 3 months, however, during that time it is not a serious relationship yet, it explained why there is not even a single photo together. When did you submit the petition then? Because it seems it is not serious relationship during the time you guys together. Then he goes back to his country, you found out that he has gf there. But you still pursuing with the K-1, he wants to take a photo together and wants you to pay for the trip, you refuse. So, when these relationships become a serious relationship actually?

 

Are you in love with him?

 

You are 37 years old women. If you want a serious relationship, you want someone that you can spend the rest of your life with, why you get involved with this guy? And until now you still try to bring him to States. Why you get involved with someone that from the beginning lying to you and jobless (lazy to work). And why are you still fighting to bring him with you?

 

You refuse to pay for the trip because you don’t trust him. So, why you still want to be in this process since you are the one who said that you don’t want to waste your time. Even the congressman can help you, you need to ask yourself, are you really want him. Are you really ready to support him financially when he’s there if now, you don’t even want to support him for the trip?

Clearly you didn't understand most of what I've said  

I'm lonely and set on having a partner.    But I'm certainly not desperate and he treats me like I am.   As statyed before.   I'm almost 37.  I dont have time to play games with him or wait on anyone.   Its nowor never.  Him or if need be someone else  (dont judge my need of companionship )

I want to be with him.  But he hasn't done anything to show me he wants to do any hard work to be with me.   Im not a cash cow and im not here to solve his problems for him. He had over a yr to work and save and he hasn't worked a single day

When he was here and when he met as stated before we were just having fun. We were not a "couple and we didnt know our relationship needed documentation.  Trust me I already feel like a piece of  for being used.  I dont need help.  I need this to be fixed or over 

4 minutes ago, gregcrs2 said:

Good grief girl!  The embassy is not playing games with you.  There are requirements for the K-1 and both of you have not fulfilled the requirements.  I am going to be rather blunt about this.  It does not matter that you and your fiancé feels you've provided enough to the embassy.  What matters is what the embassy requires.  As others have stated, you don't have any recourse but to provide what is asked.  Emotions are running high and that's why you feel like you are being picked on.  From what I've read here, the best advice I could give is that you should seriously just cut your losses.  Financial problems are typically the biggest reasons behind failed relationships.    

#1.   I'm not a "girl.  I'm a woman.    He has financial problems and because I have reservations I'm not inclined to solve them for him.   As stated earlier I knew if I gave all the details I'd get attacked.    Yes emotions are running high.  I've wasted a year and half of my life to get here because he wouldnt listen when he was here.    Which I've told him But he won't leave me alone and insists I should pay toresolve this because he's a poor boy from serbia that i need. (Some more truth for everyone)

9 minutes ago, Naes said:

But then for the first step either he needs to come or you need to go. as you can't go he should come. and if needed and you believe in this relationship you need to bring him.

Because pictures are secondary evidence at the I-129f  but refusal of K1 because of lack there of at the embassy stage is a regular occurrence, refusal because you guys didn't meet enough is also normal.

 

This is basically all you can do.

 

Or get married and apply for a CR1, but you still need to meet somewhere..

 

I told him he can find the money and come get the photos or not but I'm not waiting another yr plus to be together.  I'm 37yrs old.  I dont have time for games not from him or the embassy

3 minutes ago, Clara Monteiro said:

What about pictures that you are together with friends? Dont you have any? 

If you are able to find some, you could have those friends write affidavits to send with the pictures.

We have written affidavits from friends 

27 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

Can you bring your child with you? (I was a single mom too)

 

What evidence of meeting have you provided the embassy?

Concert tickets. Uber receipts.  Photos of us in the same place but not together which the co requested.    No traveling there with two kids isn't an option  and I wont leave them 

4 minutes ago, Naes said:

I'm really sorry but, that embassy is literally working for you

 

You know if he comes with K1, you are supposed to say that you are going to take care of him for at least till he gets his EAD.

you are responsible for him on not needing public assistance.

 

You are financially responsible for this.

 

You are marrying him,and refusing to pay for him? 

 

If you don't trust this relationship in a financial way, why would your embassy put you or their country in a case they can't be sure.

I get that and I plan to spend time  making sure before I say I do

11 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

You don't have one single picture og you guys together after 3 months together? 

 

Can he travel to Mexico or Canada and you meet him there? I mean you really don't have an option other then provide them of what they want so they can approve the visa otherwise he just won't get it.

He cant afford to travel to this continent.  We were just hanging out when he was here it wasn't serious and after he went home I found out he had a gf there wh8ch would explain why he didn't want to take pictures

Go ahead tell me I'm stupid for perusing this

Now he wants me to pay for him to travel so we can take photos

I refuse 

My point is the embassy is part of the us govt for us citizens correct?  So why aren't they working for me?

10 minutes ago, TNJ17 said:

If that is all the evidence you sent, yeah I can see why they want more. They need to see passport stamps, plane tickets, not just intineraries, entry cards to each other’s country stamped by immigration, that sort of thing. Maybe credit card statements showing that both of you made purchases in the same place during the same time. 

He was residing here near my home we sent all the passport info w2s etc.  Like I said. Literally every item listed as acceptable proof minus a photo together 

3 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

Can you bring your child with you? (I was a single mom too)

 

What evidence of meeting have you provided the embassy?

Concert tickets. Uber receipts.  Photos of us in the same place but not together which the co requested.    No traveling there with two kids isn't an option  and I wont leave them 

4 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

you can't escalate it

your K1 is dead and will be allowed to return to the US and there is no appeal

i went thru this

i am telling you to help get you to understand 

the embassy is in charge and now you need to do more to prove this relationship to them not me

of course i  do not know your story but i do know  the K1 was denied

many of us go thru this

the truth is harsh not me

 

Iys not being returned it says we have a year to respond

The officer even told my fiance he believes us but needs something different on paper 

4 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

It's very simple if you don't make the travels to provide the embassy what they want then there won't be any AOS anyway.

 

If you don't provide us with information on your case then it's really really hard for anyone to try and help you.

 

What evidence have you provided on your meeting?

I am a single mom.  I can't go to Serbia 

4 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

the basic truth and sorry to sound harsh as we try to help

but if travel is not an option to go and marry,  the how do you plan to pay for AOS and other fees ?

this is not a cheap venture 

you need to check the proceedure and know all the expenses you will incur to do this K1 

 

At this point a congressman can not do much to help / the approval of a K1 is exclusively up to the CO at the embassy after reviewing the documents (usually they review  evidence all evidence before the interview)

 

looks like you need more face time to prove a relationship

I, personally, went thru this for 6 years / not saying you will but the process is hard on all of us even those that go less than a year and pass 1st invertiew

we all feel for your situation but if you can not hold thru this,  then how do you expect a marriage to last / the real test is after marriage and sounds like financial issues would eventually tear you both apart

Really,  keep it together 

Support each other

Try to keep the romance in this part of your relationship as now you are offically in the courtship phase and at no time in the future will you bring romance back if you loose it now

You need to be strong and understand that with time you can work this out by supporting each other emotionally and romantically

Get a second job / save money / make the trip to marry 

and show embassy this is real because if you can't,  your chances are gone

Good luck from all of us

Well it does sound harsh since you don't know our story and you are making general assumptions.    If either of us travel to get additional photos for the approval neither of us will be able yo afford the aos etc.

We have spent 3 months together in person.   That should be more than enough for an approval

I am seeking advice on how to escalate the issue 

I am VERY aware of the costs involved in the process and how marriage works.    I am however not willing to put my life on hold for another year and a half to wait for approval after marriage 

2 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

What is the 221gs for? and what have you sent in to reply?

Proof of meeting.   Everything minus a photo together.  Very long story I will not publish here for fear of personal attacks 

If the embassy is repeatedly giving us 221gs and we feel we have supplied adequate information and there is not additional information to supply who do I contact to escalate the situation.    congressman ?   I'm not sure the correct recourse but it certainly feels like we are being picked on and it's destroying our relationship we are moments from throwing in the towel .    Travel is NOT an option for financial and family reasons

On 10/25/2017 at 3:47 AM, KOI said:

Hey guys - so I still haven't received any letter for DS-160 from the embassy, however I received the notice from NVC stating they forwarded my visa to the embassy (just got it even though on their site it and the letter is dated Oct 3...)

 

I'm wondering when do I register on usvisa-info.com ? do I have to wait for the DS-160 and packet from the embassy? it says "You must have an Immigrant Visa appointment notice from the National Visa Center (NVC), KCC, or Consular Section"

 

Is what I received the same thing or just an "update"?

 

Also...when registering is it petitioner or applicant that puts their info?

 

Thanks!!

I didn't see anyone answer so I hope I can help a little

The beneficiary should receive a letter from the embassy that they have the case and what your next steps are (packet 3)

D's 160 is done by the beneficiary online print and keep the confirmation page 

Depending on your embassy will depend on if you make your own appt or they assign you one.   For us we had to return a readiness letter that confirmed we had all listed documents in hand and then they sent us back an appt 

Hope that helps

20 hours ago, Marzena & Stephen said:

We picked a date to get married!!!  DECEMBER 1!

...I havnt moved yet i have to wrap up work and spend some extra time with my family ..flying out november 20th ! Going to spend my first usa thanksgiving with my fiance how cool that will be!!    

Our wedding date too.  Best of luck!

13 hours ago, David & Zoila said:

I would have to agree with you.  It would be nothing less of an early Christmas Miracle if your K-1 was approved in time.  Plan on several months.  Take a deep breath and relax.  Good luck and God Bless.

I have to agree as well.   Each embassy is different but we had to mail a readiness letter after ds160 and wait for an interview date to be assigned.   So with all this interview  is Nov 6

14 hours ago, AnJ Co said:

Congrats on the interview date.  That's just 2 weeks away.  I would just take that date, as the embassy seems to have a system for scheduling when they want you there.  Kinda strange system they seem to have, but if you are of a mind to change it, just call or email the embassy and ask.

 

Ongoing Relationship:  Understandable that travel so far away is prohibitive with kids, and school schedules, etc.  Not a problem, but you could document the fact that travel to see him in the interim wasn't possible in a newer letter of intent to marry in 90 days......  To show ongoing relationship, print, starting from when your petition was filed, a sample of communications between you.  If texting by whatsapp, you could email your conversations and snip out a sample of some.  Some people recommend one from each week.  If Skype, just screenshot and print the end of call summaries.  Emails are also relevant.  Just show that you have maintained the relationship throughout the period of NOA1 thru Embassy.

 

Best of luck to you..... I'll be looking for your big announcement in the next 2 weeks    

 

 

Wow.  Thank you for the super detailed response.    That should be no problem he has my new letter of intent and we talk every single day