Gary&Joy

Aug 25th NOA2. Got our case number today!

I have read most of the messages keenly, I think you said everything. The focus should be about the pregnancy/travel not how she can replaced her man.

Well, people had already said a lot but if I can add something I'll have couple of things to add.
What were exactly the words he said to you? Were they exactly the way you post here? Or the post was more your interpretation of it?
You don't need to say to us but just reflect on it and check how you feel.
Although nobody needs to do anything that they don't feel comfortable doing sometimes a little push make us go beyond our fears and accomplish more than we thought we could. You are facing a delicate health situation for you and your baby. Ask yourself how much the risk is real and how much fear you are adding to it. Easily said then done, but try.
Think about the financial situation in your country and in U.S. and discuss it with your fiancé to understand which choice makes more sense for your short and long-term plans considering the delivery costs.
And finally never makes a decision to stick to a man that is less than you wish and deserve fearing it will be worse to be alone. Believe me, both situations have their challenges. When you are in a good relationship you will feel loved and have support but still have challenges. If you are in a bad relationship challenges can be worse than if you are by yourself with a little kid to raise.
Try to put yourself in a more calm state of mind and talk to yourself for a while. What advice would you give yourself?

My fiancé and I also have a baby together, we both agreed that it will be best to give birth in Japan where i had good health insurance and everything worked out, I gave birth in June, my fiancé flew here after three weeks, went to the consulate and applied for the baby's paperwork, in less than two weeks I received his birth registration and US passport and a week later his social security card.

Sorry, but he must be very immature, spoiled and selfish. It's absolutely beyond ridiculous to insist you fly in your condition or don't go at all! To be very blunt, if you give in to his selfish demand and put yourself and your child at risk, you're insane. Since he's not able to behave maturely, you're going to have to be mature for both of you right now. He's trying to bluff you into freaking out and jumping on a flight. Just tell him, now that there's a child on the way, it's time for you to both be grown-ups and PARENTS, which means the baby comes first. He'll get over his little boy tantrum and do what's best if you lead with a good, adult example.

pull out that credit card one more time, buy two cheap bikes and get out of the house,, get those endorphins pumping,, robin williams was a video game addict and said bicycling saved his life (but not for long, i guess).. life is fast and crazy and i'm twice your age.. and you know our grandparents would say "things were tough, and we liked it".. time to put on your big girl pants and change that town into little canada,, yep, the ball is in your court, and its the court of life,, no referee there,, just make of it what you will.. wanna cry, where's that get'cha?? and if you dont like my advice, i will say that at least you read it, and maybe it will pull you back from a precipice at some point.. because the pendulum swings, and yours is already maxing out to one side,, give it a little push back to center and you might be surprised how far the other way you'll find yourself in a jiffy.. that's my 2 cents, like it or not..

pull out that credit card one more time, buy two cheap bikes and get out of the house,, get those endorphins pumping,, robin williams was a video game addict and said bicycling saved his life (but not for long, i guess).. life is fast and crazy and i'm twice your age.. and you know our grandparents would say "things were tough, and we liked it".. time to put on your big girl pants and change that town into little canada,, yep, the ball is in your court, and its the court of life,, no referee there,, just make of it what you will.. wanna cry, where's that get'cha?? and if you dont like my advice, i will say that at least you read it, and maybe it will pull you back from a precipice at some point.. because the pendulum swings, and yours is already maxing out to one side,, give it a little push back to center and you might be surprised how far the other way you'll find yourself in a jiffy.. that's my 2 cents, like it or not..

pull out that credit card one more time, buy two cheap bikes and get out of the house,, get those endorphins pumping,, robin williams was a video game addict and said bicycling saved his life (but not for long, i guess).. life is fast and crazy and i'm twice your age.. and you know our grandparents would say "things were tough, and we liked it".. time to put on your big girl pants and change that town into little canada,, yep, the ball is in your court, and its the court of life,, no referee there,, just make of it what you will.. wanna cry, where's that get'cha?? and if you dont like my advice, i will say that at least you read it, and maybe it will pull you back from a precipice at some point.. because the pendulum swings, and yours is already maxing out to one side,, give it a little push back to center and you might be surprised how far the other way you'll find yourself in a jiffy.. that's my 2 cents, like it or not..

ok, even i renege,, major personality disorders are things no younger person can competently deal with if underemployed and depressed.. you jumped in too quick, but that alone doesn't justify leaving,, but to help in healing of mental disorders while you are a sinking ship? nah, maybe best to take a pass on that for your young life, couples are there to help each other.,. not good to start a dead end street with more than you can handle and an empty bucket of hope.. so rare in my book where "no fault divorce" is legit, but here? maybe even annulment is possible.. if there's room on that credit card for just one bicycle, get to chicago and i will pack you a nice lunch to get you the rest of the way to mama

pull out that credit card one more time, buy two cheap bikes and get out of the house,, get those endorphins pumping,, robin williams was a video game addict and said bicycling saved his life (but not for long, i guess).. life is fast and crazy and i'm twice your age.. and you know our grandparents would say "things were tough, and we liked it".. time to put on your big girl pants and change that town into little canada,, yep, the ball is in your court, and its the court of life,, no referee there,, just make of it what you will.. wanna cry, where's that get'cha?? and if you dont like my advice, i will say that at least you read it, and maybe it will pull you back from a precipice at some point.. because the pendulum swings, and yours is already maxing out to one side,, give it a little push back to center and you might be surprised how far the other way you'll find yourself in a jiffy.. that's my 2 cents, like it or not..

After reading that reddit post and assuming it was you, I want to let you know that you don't have to feel alone. You both need help. Before 2011, my husband (then boyfriend) drank constantly. Our relationship was not what either of us wanted, and even though we loved each other, we knew that it couldn't work with things the way they were. We parted ways, still very much in love, and I constantly encouraged him to get the help he needed. He has been sober since July 11, 2011, and even though we have endless love for each other, I think that things would have been worse if we had decided to stay together during his drinking days.
The biggest thing about love is that it cannot be one-sided. Words can only go so far. Action for you and him needs to happen NOW if you want things to get better. I don't think that staying in an abusive relationship is good for either one of you right now. I'm not saying that I don't think that he can change, but HE has to be the one to make that change for himself. I can't tell you how much I had wanted my husband to stop drinking, but no matter how much I nagged and no matter how many arguments we had about it, nothing changed until I left him and let him decide what he wanted for himself.
If he truly loves you, then he will let you go to Vancouver and will stay married to you while he gets help for his issues. I know how it feels to feel helpless in a situation like yours, but sometimes, you just have to do what is best for yourself and hope with everything that you have that he will finally decide to fix his problems. You struggling with depression is something you need to work on as well. I also struggle with depression, but I can't just hope that it gets solved; I have to take action to combat it, and moving back home to Arkansas for me is a step in the right direction. I'm just really fortunate that my husband wants to come as well.
If he doesn't want to come, that's sad, but it doesn't mean that things have to be "over" between you two. If he continues to say that he won't stay married to you if you leave, then that's incredibly manipulative. It's clear that you both are in a bad place emotionally. Something needs to happen. It sucks being in a foreign country and feeling completely alone, even when your spouse is sitting right next to you.
I think that you should go to Vancouver. If he becomes violent because you are leaving, then it only proves that staying there is a bad idea. He should care enough about your feelings to understand why you need to go. If he's supportive of you going, in the sense that he doesn't freak out and drives you to the airport, then that is a step in the right direction. I don't think that you need to stay just so that you can travel freely. If you think that deep down, you'll only be happy in Vancouver, then that's what you want for your life, and that's totally ok!
If things are going fine while you're in Vancouver and he has been working on his problems, then he seriously needs to consider moving there. You don't have to sponsor him right away. My husband had zero work experience when we came to Canada, so he worked for a year before we applied for my permanent residency. Since he hasn't really held a job since being in Georgia, I have a feeling that you'd feel a lot better about paying for most everything if you're in a place where you want to be.
At the end of the day, EVERYONE on this planet deserves to be happy, but we have to be willing to make those tough decisions that make it possible. You've already sacrificed so much without getting hardly anything in return, so it's time for you to take charge of your life. Get your situation together, and if things were meant to be between you to, then you will know. Just make sure that you are being cared for by the person who ought to, and if not, do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

We went the the California service center and it took 25 days to get case number. Then it was at the consulate in Guangzhou in just a few days. 25 to 35 days has been the average from what I have seen.

whew - I'm so glad you said 'Yes', as if'n yer answer would have gone the other way,
well,
I would have started given scurrilous advice about how to pass the time with an autumn gardening plot, including such ruminations on where to get free dirt in yer area..

between Anh map and Darnell I think there is plenty to work with..
you wont have much legal exposure to fear.
and if your wife has been working on this for a while, perhaps you carry some blame for why you have not been a loving enough spouse to spend the time communicating the particulars in a way that keeps your marriage intact and based in love.
you cross me as a chess player, while your wife prefers the old card game of war, so "the taming of the shrew" might be some enjoyable light reading for you.
I'd sign, and I would inject a lot more love and compassion.
yes, Anh map is correct "in Vietnam the ties to the blood family are much stronger than to the marriage". but marriage means love and connection. did I say "I would sign"? because I would sign, and follow thru with more spousal time.

Anyway for him to come here and ask us what we think?!...i won't need anyone to advice me in my marriage since i'm the only one that knows the insides..we can all sit here and judge or point fingers...in reality maybe he just had a bad day and had no one to talk with so he came here ..maybe by now they are ok. Yeah it looks bad and probably she only asked him and probably for more reasons than this one i'm sure he is feeling used..
Some ppl here act like they are experts in relationships..calm down ppl we don't really have to put this woman down and disrespect her...we don't know 99.99% of the facts.

In general, in Vietnam the ties to the blood family are much stronger than to the marriage. The OP not signing the form means that the spouse "loses face" with her family. That is a big deal to most Vietnamese. So the OP is feeling the effects of this as the spouse wants to bring some other members over.
OP, if you are feeling that your wife's attention will shift away from you once the family begins to arrive, you are probably correct. You must consider all the "facts" and make the best choice for yourself. Most people don't respond well to threats. Your feeling are normal.

new label for ya: joint sponsor - this can be anyone outside of the household that qualifies. anyone. A joint sponsor signs a 2nd I-864 (the first I-864 was signed by your wife)
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ok - so it's the Mom. At this point, I'd say, just capitulate about it, and not worry. Mom will be living with you folk anyway, so your signature (in the big picture) isn't the larger issue to accomodate.

yup.
but what happened prior?
1. bill presentation to I-864 signer
2. meeting at local USCIS office
3. I-864 signer refuse to pay
4. I-864 signer gets wage-garnishment for several years
5. I-864 signer declares bankruptcy
and then, only then, will they come after you. This could take years, as it takes 2 to 3 years for DHS to wake up and seek renumeration (the step 0 not listed)
but - bear in mind, that the use of any means-tested benefits (which you are on the hook for) is extremely rare in Texas, as each entity that issues federal-level benefits based on applicants income ALWAYS checks for citizenship status. An LPR, a greencard holder, is not eligible for this stuff until after 5 years of holding LPR status. So, that's an extra five years that you not have to worry about this crup.
Remember - it's not a form signifying that you will support the intending immigrant at 125 percent of the poverty guidelines. Instead, what yer signing is a contract to repay the federal government IF the intending immigrant actually uses federal-level means-tested-benefits. In Texas, it's impossible, as the immigrant's status is looked at inside the SAVE database each and every time.

but he'd be signing the I-864-A, instead.
I think it's a cultural issue, to threaten divorce. Did she easily threaten divorce, or was it brought up in a 9 day conversation on day 7 ?
let's think more about boundaries based on status, aye?
if the wife is still a LPR, then it's 2 to 5 years for her parents to wait on an available visa number. 10 to 22 years for unmarried brother or sister.
if the wife is now a USCitizen, then it's immediate category for parents. 5 to 17 years for unmarried brother or sister.
So, where in this 'visa' process is the OP/wife and foreign relative? If just filing the I-130, then who cares? The signing will come much later. If the casefile is at NVC, priority date is current, and AOS fee paid, then it's time to turn in the I-864, and it's an immediate problem to resolve.

OP, I enjoyed your post so much, I read it twice!
A big congrats.

Was the error on the GC a result of USCIS?
If so then you need to submit an I-90 with the actual card and evidence showing the data on the card is incorrect. There is no charge if it was USCIS error. http://www.uscis.gov/i-90
At the INFOPASS appointment they may stamp his passport as temporary proof of permanent resident status, but there is no guarantee that they will do that. However, I just saw your timeline and noticed that he came in on an CR-1 visa in June. The visa in his passport with the CBP entry stamp is proof of permanent resident status for one year from the date of the entry stamp. Social Security is aware of this and it is also listed in the employer handbook for the I-9. In fact, I took my in-laws to Social Security to get their SSN before they received their GC, and the clerks at Social Security just used the information from their visa. Since the CBP entry stamp is still valid, the agent at an INFOPASS appointment will more than likely tell to file an I-90 with the card and proof it was their error.
Also, as of May 31, 2015 the National Benefits Center is processing I-90 from late January.

my interview was on the 16th of july. i was scheduled for 7:30 am. i got there around 6;00 and it was raining. we got called around 8;00 and the process began. i was called to the first window where my documnets were taken. i had a lot of them. what they really needed was tax returns, irs, tax transcripts and w2. so bank statements , pay stubs were all returned to me. i also went with an album with the pics well labelled. pics of us in 2010 before our traditional marriage, pics of traditional marriage with both families, pics of our court marriage 2 yrs later, pics of us and our daughter, our call history from 2013 till date, money transfer reciepts from 2013 till date, etc, all well labelled.
after submitting these, i was called to the next window for my finger prints to be taken. about 10mins later i was called to window five for the real interview.
she asked who petioned me, how did i meet my husband, ai said through a friend, she asked how i knew that firend, i said she was my sch. mate, shen the asked how my husband knew that friend. i was so taken aback because i didnt really envisage these line of questioning. but i was quick enough to tell her that i didnt know maybe at a party. she said it was strange that i saw my husband for the first time in 2010 and we started dating right away. i told her that was it. she hten asked me to tell her all that my husband and i have been talking about on fone from 2010 to 2004. i corrected her that its rather 2014 and she said yes. here also i was just confused. i told her we have spoken about a lot of things. she wanted specifics. so once again by the grace of God, i just started talking about the fathers funeral in 2011, my trditional marriage in 2012, my pregnancy in 2012, my delivery in 2013, my courts marriage in 2014 and tthe fact that i have a baby now to our conversation is about the baby and our general welfare. she then pulled the blue sheet and started writing on it. i said to mysel" please hurry up and give it to me let me get out of here". even when she was writing she still asked how many times my husband had visited since 2010. i told her and she wanted to know if he came to me during all these visits. she then gave me the sheet and asked me to pick my visa in a week. in as much as i sympathise with people who are denied on this platform, i wat to say that that a lot of people are also given visas. on the day of collection, i ccould count about 30 people collecting their immigrant visas. the catch as i see it is that, no matter how mush and how genuine your documents are, if you dont portray some sence of confidence and boldness, you can easly be denied. i have also realised that almost everybody here is a petitioner and not a beneficiary.please let them know that confidence is all that it takes and the grace of God. your documnets could be fake, but you can be granted if you stick to what you say in a confident manner. sometimes they trick you , and if you are not careful you try to change your story and that is it. stick to what you have said and insist on it. organise your documents well and know what you are sending there. keep to your story wether its a lie or its the truth, and think outside the box. because you can be asked questions you have never thought about. honestly i was so nervous and afraid that , i had to ask for prayes from my church. even during the interview i was so nevourse inside. but i kept a smiling face and kept telling myself that its now or never. God being so good, i went through. please educate your beneficiaries. its very important.. i hope this review helps. thanks so much visa journey . yoy helped me to really organise my documents well. infact i over organised them. once again thank you

It would of course be easy to provide some general details to avoid the quick judgments...such as sentence is only x months, or he's in jail because he forgot to pay his 1000 parking tickets or you're fully informed on the criminal history You're not obligated of course but your original post left things wide open and people on VJ are like anyone else....we'd all like to know Charles Manson isn't petitioning some poor woman to come to the US with no hope in he** of a good life.

He doesn't have to be there to prove the marriage is not a sham because you're not married yet. The K1 visa is simply so you can come here to marry him.

I do agree with Darnell though, make sure the parents finances are in order since they'll be cosigning. http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/files/form/i-864p.pdf

Does South America require Proof of Domicille? That may be very hard as well seeing as he resides in prison at the moment.

Also make sure that what ever he was convicted of doesn't make it harder for him to bring you here.

You may not like people voicing their opinions about your relationship, but prepare for the worst because they WILL scrutinize your relationship, especially under your circumstances.

People will voice their opinions. We see plenty of people who are in loving relationships post a month after coming to the states and getting married saying that they were abused and/or cheated on and they never would have expected this. We've had people find out about court problems and things like that at their visa interview. The USC tells them maybe one or two things crime/court related, only for the foreign fiance to find out 10's of court orders at the interview. We see this -a lot- therefore, a lot of us will voice our opinions to hopefully help some avoid an avoidable situation.

I dont have much expericne with this since I am still in AOS process. Some with more knowledge and experience will answer better to ur question, but from the little i know, you seem to be well prepared and have all the neccessary documents. Good luck