Ismael&Blair

Congratulations!

HAMDOALLAH!! CONGRATS!!

Where are you exactly in the high desert? What city? We are in the LA area.

I think I just flip through an episode of "Housewives of Moroccan men or MENA Forum"
I would totally watch it. Where can I pitch this reality show idea? LOL
All I can say also is that I love my Moroccan husband too. And like Pitbull said "I don't give a number two" to what the messenger or the posted advice.
But shame on the messenger who posted sexually explicit activities comments about Moroccan/Muslims on an immigration help website! #######?!

I think I just flip through an episode of "Housewives of Moroccan men or MENA Forum"
I would totally watch it. Where can I pitch this reality show idea? LOL
All I can say also is that I love my Moroccan husband too. And like Pitbull said "I don't give a number two" to what the messenger or the posted advice.
But shame on the messenger who posted sexually explicit activities comments about Moroccan/Muslims on an immigration help website! #######?!

My dear sister,
Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Trust it from a 8 years breast cancer survivor.
I was diagnosed at age 32 also with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Like you, I was young, no family history (well back then), not even had that much of breast (please smile here) to start with but BOOM it came out from nowhere. At that time, I just got hired by one of the best companies in the world and was about to start my new career. The financial struggle and job security finally started to get settled, then this, cancer. Life sure knows how to throw a curveball at you when you least expect it.
I have to say one thing I hated the most was people telling me "I am so sorry, you are so young". I would be like "sorry for WHAT? I am not going anywhere!" Seriously, don't feel sorry but feel fortunate and lucky, for the following reasons:
1. You found it early.
2. You are young and healthy so your body is strong to fight it.
3. Breast cancer has the best prognosis and treatment options, so if anyone is going to get some sort of cancer in his/her lifetime, get this kind.
I was a stage 2B almost 3. From the scan, the doctor saw one tumor that was about 2.5 cm. But after the surgery, it was actually almost 5 cm and they found another one that was about 3 cm. I had a left mastectomy and lymph node removal - 3 out of 6 had cancer cells. I had a very aggressive type of chemo - 6 rounds for every 3 weeks, and radiation. I was also hormone receptor positive so I took tamoxifen for 5 years.
Two things I would like to mention that I would have done differently had I known what I know now:
1. Explore your options of reconstruction. I had the outdated Latissimus Flap. It was painful and still hurts to-date. If I knew this, I would rather choose not to have any reconstructions. But there are so many way better options now.
2. Since you are still in your 20's and are getting married, fertility is priority if you plan to have children. Talk with your doctors about your options. Consider freezing some eggs is a good possibility. When I was diagnosed, I was so terrified and the cancer was growing so fast so I just wanted it OUT. Chemo fried my ovaries and I was in premature menopause for years. My period did return and miraculously my ovaries woke up and are functioning now. However, I am already 42, I am not sure how many good eggs I have left. So if you want children, you want to keep it in mind while going through treatments.
This is a scary and hard journey, I wouldn't lie to you. I bet you have had that moment that your life so far flash like a movie in your mind. Knowledge is power. When I was going through it, breastcancer.org was my saunturary. There are tons of women from around the world going through the same thing, kind of like visajourney for breast cancer.
Just remember, you are strong and you can BEAT THIS. Soon you will be like me to think breast cancer is just a distant memory. Think of the lame line "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My fiance's fiance visa is going through AP right now. Would you believe me if I told you this AP hell is way worse than cancer to me?
When I was just diagnosed, I asked my oncologist (who was brilliant and saved my life by the way) shakingly "doctor, am I going to be ok?" She looked at me in the eyes and then pointed a piece of paper she had it framed and hung on her wall. I would like to share it with you. It helped me tremendously.
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice to make everyday regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...

You are in charge of your attitudes.

You are in my prayers. Please do not hesitate to send me a PM. I would share everything I know with you or even just give you a shoulder to cry on.

You will be fine and life has just begun. Thinking of this as a chance to be reborn.

Relationships are relationships. And cultural differences can be as vast and varied between American couples as they are between international couples. Fear about the sincerity of your "true love's" intentions is a red flag, regardless of what country your beloved comes from. Significant age gaps will always pose unique challenges, just like marrying into vastly different socio-economic status will pose challenges, or different cultures, or different beliefs about how to raise children. And wise warnings from "people who've been there" will always fall on deaf ears - whether those ears belong to "highly attractive" older American woman marrying a younger Moroccan man, or whether they belong to a 17 year girl from California who wants to marry her high school sweetheart who lives next door, as soon as they graduates high school. A person should be no more cautious marrying someone from a "high fraud" country, than they should marrying someone from the US.
And what is "high fraud" anyway? So a man marries a woman for a visa? Is that so much more fraudulent than a man who marries a woman because she's hot? Maybe both are fraud. But if marrying for the wrong reasons constitutes "fraud" - then all Americans should be on high alert before marrying other Americans.
Lets be real. "MENA" marriages fail for the same reasons so many other do - selfishness. It comes in many forms and many languages. If your relationship is real, and you can learn to be selfless, it will work out...and if its not, it won't. Just like millions and millions of US marriages. As an adult, if you cannot tell the truth and reality and depth of your own relationships, then you are as likely to have an unsuccessful marriage to someone from Norway, as you are someone from Morocco. What I'm trying to say is this is not some mysterious phenomenon in Moroccan men. In these forums its we call it "fraud" - in America its called "irreconcilable differences" - but its the same thing.
Rosearered - you sound like a nice enough woman. And it sounds like your relationship, like so many others (both international & U.S.) ended qith you feeling deceived. You're not the first. You and 50+% of all American marriages end with someone feeling like they were used, unloved, and betrayed. And its genuinely sad that your marriage wasn't mean to be. But it wasn't because he was from Morocco. It was because it didn't work out, for many reasons which none of us know anything about. And the only people who know the truth about your relationship is your and your ex. And if blaming it on him being Moroccan makes you feel better, thats fine - but that's not why it ended.
Relationships are relationships - love is love - and marriages either last or they don't. But it has nothing to do with where anyone is from. Sure, its so much more convenient to blame marriages-gone-wrong on external factors (like being Moroccan) than to take personal responsibility. But lets all grow up. The success or failure of a marriage has everything to do with the 2 people involved, and their ability to make a good decision in whom they marry, and their mutual ability to love and care for one another. End of story.

This topic has been very informative and hearing everyone's comments is makes a good late night reading. So much that I felt compelled to add my two cents.

Visa Journey is a definitely a great resource. But I have to say that ultimately, everyone's relationship is different and there seems to be a lot of stereotypes made. But that's human nature. At the same time, I try to look for the silver lining and say there is always an exception to the rules.

Before I married my Moroccan husband, I had experienced more than my share of harsh criticisms, wanted and unwanted advice about the "Moroccan Men, Internet dating, big age gap, etc.", all the stereotypical cautions, and negativity from doubtful family and so-friends. It's all normal because they care for me. But ultimately the decision was mine. Being quite cautiously guarded for the most part in the beginning of our "love affair", I got to know my husband online, then in person, and then I was sure to take the chance in love and accept my husband's marriage proposal and I made the commitment.

I just say TIME will hold the truth. I agree with many of the posters in the past who said that the VISA journey was the easy part. Now the challenging but the exciting part of the journey is being together and building our lives together.
My dear husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years now and more importantly, my husband has been here in California with me for a little over 4 months now. Will I say it's easy and nothing to it? I would be sugar coating it. It is work on both of us and more so, a lot of communication. But I know we love each other and we are happy and we work at it each day. Am I going to worry about what will happen 7 years from now? No, because we have to live for the present.

I remembered right before my husband arrived to California. My uncle David gave me a piece of advice that I will take to heart. He said he is married to my aunt for 27 years and still he is learning and finding out things about her/ his wife & mother of 3 grown kids. He warned me that marriage is not all rosy. But they have to work at making it work. It's what marriage is about.

So I promise to check in and share our progress in our marriage every now and then. And definitely 7 years from now, see where we are at. I'm positive and I also believe in giving love a chance and my husband says he believes in destiny. And it was meant for us to be together.

Everyone here has the rights in their own opinion and that is all it is. Just opinions...so best wishes to everyone! Happy marriages Inshallah

This topic has been very informative and hearing everyone's comments is makes a good late night reading. So much that I felt compelled to add my two cents.

Visa Journey is a definitely a great resource. But I have to say that ultimately, everyone's relationship is different and there seems to be a lot of stereotypes made. But that's human nature. At the same time, I try to look for the silver lining and say there is always an exception to the rules.

Before I married my Moroccan husband, I had experienced more than my share of harsh criticisms, wanted and unwanted advice about the "Moroccan Men, Internet dating, big age gap, etc.", all the stereotypical cautions, and negativity from doubtful family and so-friends. It's all normal because they care for me. But ultimately the decision was mine. Being quite cautiously guarded for the most part in the beginning of our "love affair", I got to know my husband online, then in person, and then I was sure to take the chance in love and accept my husband's marriage proposal and I made the commitment.

I just say TIME will hold the truth. I agree with many of the posters in the past who said that the VISA journey was the easy part. Now the challenging but the exciting part of the journey is being together and building our lives together.
My dear husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years now and more importantly, my husband has been here in California with me for a little over 4 months now. Will I say it's easy and nothing to it? I would be sugar coating it. It is work on both of us and more so, a lot of communication. But I know we love each other and we are happy and we work at it each day. Am I going to worry about what will happen 7 years from now? No, because we have to live for the present.

I remembered right before my husband arrived to California. My uncle David gave me a piece of advice that I will take to heart. He said he is married to my aunt for 27 years and still he is learning and finding out things about her/ his wife & mother of 3 grown kids. He warned me that marriage is not all rosy. But they have to work at making it work. It's what marriage is about.

So I promise to check in and share our progress in our marriage every now and then. And definitely 7 years from now, see where we are at. I'm positive and I also believe in giving love a chance and my husband says he believes in destiny. And it was meant for us to be together.

Everyone here has the rights in their own opinion and that is all it is. Just opinions...so best wishes to everyone! Happy marriages Inshallah

This topic has been very informative and hearing everyone's comments is makes a good late night reading. So much that I felt compelled to add my two cents.

Visa Journey is a definitely a great resource. But I have to say that ultimately, everyone's relationship is different and there seems to be a lot of stereotypes made. But that's human nature. At the same time, I try to look for the silver lining and say there is always an exception to the rules.

Before I married my Moroccan husband, I had experienced more than my share of harsh criticisms, wanted and unwanted advice about the "Moroccan Men, Internet dating, big age gap, etc.", all the stereotypical cautions, and negativity from doubtful family and so-friends. It's all normal because they care for me. But ultimately the decision was mine. Being quite cautiously guarded for the most part in the beginning of our "love affair", I got to know my husband online, then in person, and then I was sure to take the chance in love and accept my husband's marriage proposal and I made the commitment.

I just say TIME will hold the truth. I agree with many of the posters in the past who said that the VISA journey was the easy part. Now the challenging but the exciting part of the journey is being together and building our lives together.
My dear husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years now and more importantly, my husband has been here in California with me for a little over 4 months now. Will I say it's easy and nothing to it? I would be sugar coating it. It is work on both of us and more so, a lot of communication. But I know we love each other and we are happy and we work at it each day. Am I going to worry about what will happen 7 years from now? No, because we have to live for the present.

I remembered right before my husband arrived to California. My uncle David gave me a piece of advice that I will take to heart. He said he is married to my aunt for 27 years and still he is learning and finding out things about her/ his wife & mother of 3 grown kids. He warned me that marriage is not all rosy. But they have to work at making it work. It's what marriage is about.

So I promise to check in and share our progress in our marriage every now and then. And definitely 7 years from now, see where we are at. I'm positive and I also believe in giving love a chance and my husband says he believes in destiny. And it was meant for us to be together.

Everyone here has the rights in their own opinion and that is all it is. Just opinions...so best wishes to everyone! Happy marriages Inshallah

Wow! I am surprised that you don't know HOW LONG and WHY for those two questions? You need to tell the truth because they will know! They check EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. And just to let you know President Obama admits that he supports online background checks so he probably already knows your answers for those 2 questions. So like the other posters said...YOU JUST HAVE TO ANSWER HONESTLY.
I can tell you that if you are not good in speaking in English, you can choose to do the interview in Arabic. They will gladly have a translator available there for you. They will actually ask you if you want to interview in the language you are most comfortable with. That option was given to my husband. So good luck & let us know how your interview went!

I have to agree with apple21. If the US embassy took his passport, that is a good sign for you! Hopefully the AP wont last too long after they get the papers! Good Luck!!

I agree with everyone...go with your gut feelings. The EXCUSE about no sex thing is a dead give away that something is definitely wrong. Sorry to read about your story!

Thanks to this Obamacare requirement . I also had to buy healthcare insurance for my hubby (added expenses). My hubby is worth it but I wished I had an option to wait until it was the right time!

Seriously that is the only country where you pay for somebody that doesn't have anything. I will just ignore what you just wrote. The word that you are looking for is Socialism,
helping each other is not a bad thing since you could benefit from it if you are in a bad position. But I see...taking without giving is always easier.

Affordable Health Care Act. what a pig wash.
Are you ready,
$ 500.00 / month premium
$ 12,000 / year deductible
So I I have a freaking cold / I pay $ 18,000.00 out of pocket before the insurance pays it. Affordable???
For sale : Ocean Front property in Arizona ( Any takers)
I swear this is the only damn country where it PAYS to be poor.
If your illiterate and poor, don't worry, I get to pay for your your f(*king insurance.
Sorry I could not resist.

I agree with everyone...go with your gut feelings. The EXCUSE about no sex thing is a dead give away that something is definitely wrong. Sorry to read about your story!

I agree with everyone...go with your gut feelings. The EXCUSE about no sex thing is a dead give away that something is definitely wrong. Sorry to read about your story!

and
Exactly what I was getting at.
Obviously, I do not think badly of MENA men as a whole. If I did, I wouldn't be planning on marrying one. And if I thought all older woman-younger man relationships were doomed to fail, I wouldn't have directed the OP to another member who has a happy marriage and a significant age gap. I'm a skeptical and cautious person by nature and the advice I'm given and questions I've asked in this thread would be similar if I were giving advice to a woman who was in the midst of an online romance with a USC who was 18 years her junior. For that matter, I would be advising ANY woman who was planning marriage with a guy she had never met face-to-face, regardless of age/nationality/religion, to SLOW DOWN.
And really, that's what made up a lot of the advice to the OP. No one is barging in and saying "YOU ARE DOOMED." People advised her to take things slow, get to know him well, not ignore red flags. Several large age difference couples came out of the woodwork and shared happy marriage stories. Go read some of the archives and you'll see that everyone has actually been quite gentle.

My husband is from Morocco. I was 40 when we met and we also have an 18 year age difference. Our visa was without difficulty and went very smooth. If you love each other do not worry about the age difference. But I won't tell you that its peaches and cream all the time. He will want children. There will be those awkward times. You will have to work on the marriage. And there will be insecure times you will have to overcome. As I said, we love each other more than anything. There are marriages that work and some that don't. Even the same age marriage tend to fall apart. So don't judge yours too harshly just because of the age difference. Its takes two people to make a marriage work no matter how old you are. Keep allll your proof... take a million happy pictures when you go... and if you truely love each other Allah will be with you till the end.

Hello, I am 21 years older than my husband, we didn't have any issues because of our age difference as far as being approved.. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and we are different religions. I will say that my husband and I spent quite a bit of time together in real life before taking the leap into marriage. I don't think a week is long enough to really get to know someone(my opinion). His family and mine approved of the the relationship(and marriage), which in a MENA country is very important, we were both questioned in depth about family approval at the interview(I attended with him). Between the time of filing the petition and the time of the interview(which was 6 months) we were together in real life(in his country)for over half that time. I think every relationship is different and you need to make the decision realistically. You need to think of what life will be like after he is here. You need to be prepared and have supporting evidence to submit with the petition. We did not present a huge amount of evidence, but I think the fact that we had spent so much time together worked in our favor. My husband has been here for almost exactly a year(Oct 12), we are very happy and our marriage is very strong, but we both work at it. For us the age difference hasn't been an issue, but I will say that I think of it more than he does(I am 48 he is 27). We are very lucky, my family and friends love him and the same goes for his family and friends, they love me. It took my husband 5 months before he found his first job in the US(which was a nightmare job) and an additional 5 months beyond that for him to find a job in his field. Even with a degree in computer engineering and experience in his home country, no one in the US was willing to hire a new immigrant with zero experience here, it was tough. He works as an intern, but he loves his job, they treat him well, and in December when his contract is up they have already told him they will hire him on a permanent basis(YAY!). I can't tell you what to do, that is up to you, but just make sure you weigh all the factors and think it through long and hard. The visa process is long and difficult(not to mention expensive) and puts a lot of stress on the relationship, it isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs, and once he gets here it is even more difficult. For us it has worked out and it was worth every last tear and penny we spent. We are one of the success stories(so far). Best of luck.
Cathi

awwwwwww..thank you

I agree with everyone who said age difference is NOT a factor. When two people are in love, there are no age limits. I was very sensitive about my age difference in the beginning and I was concerned when I read stuff on Visa Journey about people saying it is a red flag.
Well, I am fine to say that I am 18 years older than my husband and it was never a factor ever. The important thing is that we are compatible and we love each other so very much.
So just concentrate about the positives of your relationship.
Good luck and best wishes! BTW, it is my hubby's 4th day here in Cali with me! We're heading to Venice Beach today!

Looks very organized.
FYI...I never included a cover letter and it was still ok
Best wishes and good luck!

Looks very organized.
FYI...I never included a cover letter and it was still ok
Best wishes and good luck!

I'm just wondering how someone who is eligible for medi-cal and food stamps finds the funding to travel to Egypt multiple times.