mymarriagejourney

5 minutes ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

You and your husband are good people 🙏

I'd like to think that we are no better than others and that anyone would do the same in our situation.  But, thank you.

37 minutes ago, designguy said:

If shes going to pursue the U visa she must immediately go to the police and report the abuse as she will need U Nonimmigrant Status Certification (Form I-918, Supplement B) for the U petition. She should definitely bring someone who can translate for her

 

Edit: I just thought of this and am not sure of the law but just something to think of. If she stays in the US and has the child, there may be a chance that the father could fight for some sort of custody of the child once born. I don't know if he would need to be convicted of the abuse to lose those rights? If she does end up wanting to go back home after the child is born in the US and he tries to assert some custodial rights it could get very problematic for her. Again I am not certain of the law here but I think definitely something worth looking into

Thank you for the response.  I agree with everything you said.  We have photos of her injuries and are going to the police today.  I am bringing someone to translate.  I do realize that custody is extremely problematic.  I will be going with her to an attorney early next week and will be asking an awful lot of questions....

3 hours ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

But if she doesn’t have means to support herself in either country, I completely understand why she would rather stay in the country where she wouldn’t be ostracised or treated like a social pariah. Besides, her sister is here, so she has someone at least.

 

I’ve read a few threads on here re single mother’s returning to their home countries, where the cultures aren’t accepting of single mothers...and sometimes think people underestimate just how horrible a situation it is. Being a victim of abuse and a newly single mother would make for an incredibly upsetting and emotionally-fraught time...to then add returning to a country where you are shunned, scorned, treated like less than a human being? That sounds like a recipe for a serious mental health breakdown.

 

As a side-note, I work in Internal Communications and have been working on a big campaign for Mental Health Awareness Day, which was yesterday. Part of this included talking to colleagues to record their personal stories re mental health - and several of these included post-natal depression - without the added burden of abuse from your spouse/being a single parent/having to move countries/abuse from family and friends.

 

So if I had to make the choice between starving in America or starving in a country where I’d be ostracised and abused, I’d pick America, every time.

Amen, Zoeeeeeee.  Exactly.   It would be all of the disaster that you describe so perfectly and eloquently.  Her sister being here is very important, yes, and she's stuffed into her sister's tiny apartment with her sister's disabled husband and 2 very small children.  The sister is working and taking care of her household and is stretched very thin both emotionally and financially.  My husband and I are taking her in.  We can't watch this happen and do nothing when we have the space and the means.  

5 minutes ago, Villanelle said:

You guys should check with the local court to see if there is a marriage certificate. If she has one she can file VAWA. If not she can qualify for the U visa. Some police depts are good with that process others no so much. Some police issue the Supp-B while others do not and the prosecutor will issue it. But the first step is to file the police report. See if they have a victims advocate they can put you in contact with as they can help victims in dealing with the police. Here is a legal aid guide for getting a U visa. She can do this herself with your help or you can contact pro bono attnys for assistance. https://www.ilrc.org/sites/default/files/resources/proseuvisamanual_english.pdf  

 

You can also join the VAWA thread. U visas are discussed there on occasion and you can post questions for Sandra there if you need to.

Thank you for this response. I have been told by her sister (who has limited English) that there are only religious marriage documents. I will speak with both her and her sister later this evening with a translator. I appreciate this information. 

I think she came in March with her mother. They have come many times before. This time, her mother decided to find her a husband. Her mother met with him a few times and then introduced him to her daughter. They were married a couple of weeks after that. They were married in July. I realize this may be difficult to understand if marriage is not handled this way in your culture. I’m American, and it’s not how I personally would get married, but many cultures do it this way. 

17 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

are the religious documents Islam marriage documents?

if so,  she is legally married 

all religions are honored here 

she would need to register what was done by an IMAM and get a marraige certificate

Unfortunately, what you are saying isn't legally accurate.  I wish it was.  It's not.

Unfortunately, what you are saying isn't legally accurate.  I wish it was.  It's not.

I don't know what she's after or not after.  But, I do believe violent crimes should be reported.  And, I do know she's terrified and confused.  I don't know her language.  I just want to do what I can to help her be okay.  I called a friend of mine and he gave me the name of an attorney who speaks both English and her language.  My friend is driving, but as soon as he gets the phone number to me, I will call for advice.

I asked her about bruises.  She does have them.  I told her to take pictures and that I will accompany her to the police station.  

She has no way to support that baby at home and also she will be a social outcast as a single parent.  It's a mess.  I do agree that she may need to leave, but I want to get her some help and support.

I will talk to her about reporting to the police.  I would want to be there for that so that I can ask the police to bring in a translator.  It's ripping my heart out.

Help for a woman I know:

The woman married a US citizen man in a religious ceremony here in the US.  He is originally from her country of origin, but has been a citizen of the US for a couple of decades.  She does not know the language here or the procedures.  He said he would take care of everything.  I don't think they have a courthouse marriage/license/certificate.  They only have the religious documents and wedding photos, which happened in July.  She was visiting her sister here in the US and the wedding took place in the US.  She is still here.  (The wedding was arranged by the woman's mother, which is customary.)

I found out today that he has been beating her.  Additionally, she is pregnant and he wants her to abort the baby.  She does not want this. Her sister lives here in town and came to get her.  Her sister has limited English, but told me the situation.

Does she have any legal recourse here in the US?

I was also thinking that it would be better if he returns and comes back and was questioning the attorney's advice.  I think it is a waste of money.  His visa is valid through July, so if extended, it would last through the birth, theoretically.  However, I think it is better for him to leave and return.

Thank you for the reply, nguoivietnam2019.

Yes she told me today that an attorney told them to apply for an extension so he can be present for the birth of his child. I’m not sure the attorney is correct or if they are just trying to collect fees. 

Is it possible to extend the stay on a tourist visa?

My husband is from Jordan.  

I did not state the country of origin of my friends because it is irrelevant to the discussion.

I've been away from the immigration world since my husband gained his citizenship, so that makes sense.  People always talked about some sort of 90 day rule and there was none.  I guess they added one since we've been through the process.

Again I will say to you that he submitted his visa application and acquired his visa before he even knew his wife, and we have no idea what was or was not said or asked by the immigration officer at the port of entry.

This is the first I have seen the 90 day rule written out.  In practice, I know of many instances where I have known it not to be an issue.

13 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I am not but this is one case where the 90 day thingy might come into play.

 

One relevant question is whether he declared his intent to adjust status to F1 when entering, the main issue I see is time, can he adjust before his I 94 expires?

 

Presumably he was studying before he visited, can he leave mid course?

It's my understanding that he was not studying before he visited.  He was working as a barber.  While visiting, he heard an advertisement on the local radio about a computer science program and he became interested.  His brother-in-law said he would cover the cost of the program, and he told me he would like to apply.  That's the extent of what I know.

7 minutes ago, aaron2020 said:

Ever heard of the 90 days rule?

Yes.  And, there is no such thing, even thought people here talk about it.

You are assuming he committed fraud, but neither you nor I have any idea what he said to the officer when he entered.

He is valid on his B2 until August, I think.  I do not know if his wife has filed the I130.  I also don't know if he's filed for the F1 with the local university yet.

He acquired the multi-entry visitor visa 4 years ago, before he met his wife.  They met and were married in their home country in July 2018.  The wife is now 1 month pregnant.  

He does want to immigrate; I don't think there is any denying that.  But, he also wants to study computer science at a local university.  I'm staying out of the ifs ands or buts, honestly, and just trying to get practical information for them.

We adjusted status in the States.  I'm 21 years older than my husband.  Still married.  Still happy.  He's a US citizen now.