lynndy38

Whether you have a job or not isn't really part of the visa process. You could say you are unemployed or I quit my job in March. Getting referral to a medical professional brings up more to talk at the medical exam. I think you are stressing, not only about your mom, but also this whole visa process. You worry about every detail so much your head is probably about to explode and you aren't even close to the London part yet. Don't you have a mate you could live with temporarily or rent a room somewhere? Remove the things that are stressing you. Quit the job if you can't keep up. Relax about the visa, the varicella, the maybe heart condition, the interview, the adjustment of status. You can't let the visa process consume you and I can tell it is. Stop thinking about it until you get notification by email that the petition has been approved. Don't check your online status, and get off VJ completely. Just carry on with your British life and don't think about immigrating or read about visas for six months or so. Dont hang on the computer with your fiance when he or you needs to be sleeping. I know the struggles of time zone differences. I would guess that you arent getting proper rest trying to be with your fiance virtually. That's the best advice I can offer.

I had been a single parent for 14 years when I met my SO and thought about moving here. My son being 15 at the time was in two minds about coming to the US but decided to stay behind to finish school in the UK, rather than having to do 2 more years in school in the US system. Hard as it was, I think we both benefitted from that decision. He felt he had some in-put in the decision and I enjoyed time being a newly wed with my new husband. I let my son decide how much he wanted to speak by phone or Skype so as to minimise any feelings of sadness or loss or whatever a 15 year old might feel. He grew up a lot during this time and it was absolutely the best decision we made. Generally I have no regrets about it, although I did have to grow a very thick skin and learn not to care or be influenced by other people's feeligs about it. Unless they have walked in your shoes they are not qualified to comment on your decision.

It really seems to me it was an arranged marriage. I do know in Indian culture this is very common but just because its part of your culture does not mean its the best for you! I would say you both are better away from each other, because love will not keep you strong and together. I do not see how you feel cheated if everything started wrong since the beginning!! Yo do not go looking for a spouse like they were a cd player or a microwave... Thats just wrong to me. Besides it seems to me you two did not spend time together trying to know each other enough. And still trying to understand how a man can think a woman has to be sexually aroused everytime he wants just because she is married to him. You should go to your nearest courthouse and find out about the divorce, or hire a lawyer. Good luck!!

He needs a case number from the NVC to book the medical. They embassy usually counts the validity period of the visa from when the medical was taken.

I would just stay put and file for adjustment of status at this point. The UK won't give you a tourist visa and you wont be able to come back on VWP again. You've kinda made a mess with that overstay, so I think the best way out of it is get a greencard before you leave the US again.

Hey ! Well I would never believe that story you told. There is so many red flags and not much sense in your fake story, and honestly i would never take the risk..what if you get banned then you never can even visit the states, much less live here with him. Its not worth it, just for a bit of a wait. I mean you sound kind of young the way you think , im not trying to be mean at all! Im just bluntly putting it, your new to this, and I really dont think that story will pass.

This is quite the attack. Look, given the new laws you arent going to adjust, you will be sent back home and have to go through the process anyway. Our laws are in place to allow our country to do its best to keep fraudulent people out. Whether you think its crazy or not. For someone like myself who had to fight through 2 years in this system to get my husband home, it literally chaps my behind to hear someone wanting to come along and do things illegally. Do you think it was easy for US?? Nope! But we did it the way my country demands it be done, legally! And we went through a high fraud consulate! I hope you understand that you have put this on a website that immigration can and does check!

Seems to me that whatever you ask here..you will often get conflicting advice. I don't think that being concerned about your case is insane .... If you call, apparently you call too much, if you don't call, you haven't done enough. There don't seem to be any hard and fast rules. Personally, I didn't find anything aggressive or offensive in your tone. Just give it a little longer, and best of luck.

Keep your head up. 28 is the new 18! :-) Heck...I'll be 41 next month and will graduate with my Bachelor's degree in June, so you have plenty of time to get your MBA. Learn from your mistakes and focus on your future. Good luck!

A dating website is not a marriage broker. If you met on www.match.com that's a dating site, not a "marriage broker".
A "marriage broker" is someone who specifically arranges marriages between people. There are such programs, tours to certain countries where you go and meet "brides" to be. Not just dating, people who expect to get married asap.
List that you met on that website, then provide all your relationship evidence.
For what it's worth, not that I'm accusing your fiancee of being a scammer, but if you WERE being scammed you would think you're in love. You wouldn't go through with it if you KNEW you were being scammed. I certainly hope for your sake it's real, but still be wary (and yes, offering to sign a pre-nup is common amongst scammers, because the "mark" thinks "if she was a scammer she wouldn't offer, so I won't bother getting her to sign"). Plus half the time it's about getting money from you BEFORE getting to the US (like one poor guy that got told his fiancee got denied at the interview, just to find out she never even went to the interview). Some never actually want to leave their country. Some don't care about your money but only want to get to the US, get married, get the GC then leave you and find someone else, or import their real partner.
Protect yourself just in case. We aware of the red flags, protect your assets and your family.
**Edit - Anastasia.com actually mentions IMBRA on their site, so yes, it's IMBRA.

God willing I will be starting my new life with my husband in April, I guess the reality has finally started to set in and lately Ive found myself feeling scared and tearful. I NEED to be with my husband and miss him every minute,but the thought of leaving everyone/thing I know and love here feels overwhelming at times. My husband is so supportive he's said we will come back to the UK as much as we can afford,and if I need to get home for emergencies that won't be a problem.
My story has a difficult circumstance in which I am leaving my 14 year old son behind,he wishes to stay with his dad and I respect that. My parents are bringing him over for holidays and he'll soon be old enough to come visit alone.
How on earth do people cope leaving such important people?
Am I alone in feeling scared?
I guess as I pack and give away most of my stuff it just feels very real.

Although I don't have any children to leave behind I am feeling pretty guilty about leaving my mum and dad behind. I'm their only daughter and youngest child and I know this is killing my mum no matter how supportive she's being. I'm dreading the final goodbye and sometimes I try to avoid talking about moving because I know it upsets her. It's a hard position to be in but America isn't really that far away. My Grandad also died a few weeks ago and now I only have one Grandparent left, my Granny who I am really close to and I worry about leaving her and my mum at this delicate time.
I don't think it feels anymore real now that I've been approved but I would say it's probably seeming more real to everyone else and they're starting to realise that it's actually happening.
I'm hoping that regular trips home and lots of skyping will help. I also know another Scottish girl who lives in Chicago and we are hoping to meet up so I think it will be good to have a fellow expat close to home so we can have a good moan about missing home!
Hang in there. Once all the goodbyes are done and you're on the plane on the way to your husband things will seem brighter. Take the time to adjust and be ready for this time to feel different (in a good way I hope) to all the previous visits

Your feelings are perfectly understandable and completely natural. It's an enormous step. I have been there - I am still there. I left my two sons. Admittedly they are a bit older than yours as they were 22 and 24 when I left but at times I still feel like I have abandoned them. My younger son is doing his Masters and last week there was a concert at the university, in which his compositions were being played. His pieces probably lasted 5 minutes total but I was devastated that I couldn't be there. Luckily my dad was able to be there.
But I always knew that my boys would not always be around me so I would be foolish to give up my chance of happiness. My older son has just moved to Helsinki and the younger one is going to Australia for a year in October! The younger one visited me last summer and the older is hopefully coming this year.
My dad's wife died just before I got my visa and leaving him was very hard because we became much closer and he became quite dependent emotionally. But I talk more to him on Skype now than we ever did when I was in England and working full time. He also came out last year and we had an amazing time tracing his musical history through Nashville and Memphis.
My sister and her family visited last year and my mum is visiting in April. We went back for Christmas. I think it's important to have trips and visits planned both ways.
I left a job I loved and felt valued in and where I had a lot of friends. That was hard too but I am working again and beginning to feel useful.
Expect to feel dreadful at times. Expect to have bad days. Make sure your husband is prepared for them too. But your son has his dad so he will be fine. And sons always leave their mothers in the end!
Good luck. Sorry if this is bitty but I am writing it on my phone.

For keeping up with you son and anybody else--
Get a Vonage UK line/phone number for £7.99/mo. My husband brought his Vonage box with him and plugged it into our US router, then any phone is plugged into the Vonage box. Anytime, day or night that your son wants to call you, he dials you at the UK number and it rings at your US home. No dial arounds or need for the computer to be on or special phone. It's also very easy for parents/grandparents who may not be into Skype or such--Simply dial a normal UK number. You can set up simultaneous ring to your mobile phone and even if you aren't home, you'll get the call on your mobile at no extra charge to caller or you. And you can use the phone for unlimited calls to UK landlines.
My husband did that so his kids could call easily if they needed him for anything. Now they are of that age with boyfriend/girlfriend and are way too busy for Dad. But he is still there just a phone call away at no cost to them if they can squeeze him in to their busy love lives.

Dont want to be judgemental but I notice some countries advertise potential brides to N Americans, and a steady stream seem to come in,
Is this guy suffering from buyers remorse? I am not blaming the lady she probably thought her knight in shining armour had entered
her life, also at 22 with 52 ??? He's older than me, I dont know what I'd do with a 22 yr old and a baby, my daughter is 19 and I just
cant see it, the decent thing for this guy to do is purchase her & her childs ticket so she can go home to her family, not all these
marriages last....he claims its fake. Thats not a healhy situation for her child, maybe all you friends can put the funds together to buy her
ticket if that man is now acting hateful, and since he lives with mom she may be hating on her too...help her out do a little shopping
help her pack and let her go back home since its reported as a fraud.............best wishes to the lady

I'm sorry abt how you feel. I agree with America being a great country and have provided every opportunity for everyone to attain the American dream which is built on hard work,trust and accountability. You have to understand that the taxpayer money including yours and mine goes into every progress our country has made. NVC is not doing us a charity or favor,they collect fees and processing fees and state and federal funding to get their job done.Heck, I am even willing to pay $1000 more in addition to their fees if they get their work done faster!
Do not be naive and be content with mediocrity which lays the foundation for sleazy work. As for your comment about living in the country where your spouse is from, its easier said than done. I don't know how long you have been in US, but if you grew up here,you would know by the time you graduate you have 100k in student loans,not to mention credit card debt and lease/rental payments. In other words,you can't leave the country even if you wanted to cos IRS will track you down.
I appreciate all of your comments, I have sent email to "Ben" , called the helpline and sent a message to my congressman. I believe these time frames are not acceptable(even though some might disagree). Nothing might get done this year or 15 years from now but I feel proud in the fact that I tried to make my voice heard which I have every RIGHT to!

If you don't like how the OP posted, just don't say anything and move on. Criticizing them won't make them less upset (if that was your goal). Show tact and move along or look past the bad words and give some support. No one is forcing you to read this thread.

There is a reason they need a cook and you are that person. They need you as much or more than you need them. They dont care about health insurance as a motive. The manager needs you to make the food so he or she can keep their job too.
Either door will do because they both lead to the kitchen.
Call the store today and ask what the night managers name is if you must know now.
Someone will teach you how to cook the pizzas and I think they have helpers to prepare the actual orders as they come in.
Everyone is nervous on the first few days. So were the people you will work with. Just acknowledge the fact and laugh it off.
I worked as a cook myself and experianced all of this first hand. You will find that this all passes and you will settle into the job.

My suggestion would be to hire a skip. Put as much as you can on Ebay, Gumtree and Freecycle. When the very end comes, pack away your clothes and personal items that youre taking on the plane. Pack up some boxes (under 2kg each)and send them surface mail with Royal Mail and they will be about £12 each at the most expensive. And everything left over that you cant sell or give away or that you need right until the very last minute, throw in the skip and i guarantee you will fill it!
We made the mistake of thinking we had cleared the house out, but in the very end, we really hadnt! The morning we left the bed and couch was still there, our daughters crib, all of our bedding, the clothes we wore in the few days before (we wore old clothes that we didnt want to keep and just threw them out rather than bringing dirty washing with us).
In the end, my parents (not sure which one, when or how) cleared out the rest of the house because we physically couldnt do it before we had to go. Now i wished we had hired a skip. It could have been empty if we had because im sure all of that stuff was just scrapped. Even my beloved bed i wished i could bring!
My books i gave to my dad, some to a friend and donated the final ones to charity. I mailed my childhood favourites that i had hung on to for so long by surface mail and they arrived before i did!
The easiest thing to do is just try to detach from it all. Because in the end its just stuff. And ive got stuff again now! Ive only been here 3 months but i have an apartment filled with everything i need and want and i left here with my possessions in one suitcase.
Oh and i just remembered, invest in an e-reader if you havent already! Its a way ive been able to hold on to some books that i love and i know i will want to read again.

Okay, you want a "coherent response"? Here it is. I speak only for myself here.
I am not saying this process should be cheaper, I am aware of the huge cost of processing our applications. I am not even saying it should be faster. Of course, we would all love it if it was, but we all know how understaffed USCIS/DOS/embassies are.
All I would say - and I believe the point the OP was making - is that it would be nice if, when you spend $$$ on a phone call to them, that they could give you an accurate update on your case.

I have more dignity and class than to get involved with your need for a fight.
Good luck with your journey.

I have more dignity and class than to get involved with your need for a fight.
Good luck with your journey.

I GOT IT!!!! I GOT MY INTERVIEW DATE!!!!!! 13TH FEB!!!

He was the immigrant -- I'd been living in the UK for 12 years, and we decided to get married so we could move back to the States. (I also figured out that we'd been in the States nearly two years, not 11 months before we separated -- amazing what time will do to your recollection of even the worst of events!) He decided to stay, because he had made friends and had work here, and he wasn't keen on moving home given the state of the economy there.
We tried and tried and tried, though I tried more than he did. I will tell you, he now seriously regrets not trying harder, and for continuing to see the other woman on the sly for a while. He realises he threw away everything -- the respect of some of his friends, his mum and dad, the love he had for me, the deep connection we had together -- for a woman who had nothing to offer him in the end. He had some terrible (and thankfully now former) associates who convinced him that cheating was okay, because he wasn't happy with me. It turned out by his own admission that it was himself he wasn't happy with. He has to live every single day with the guilt of what he put me through. I do not envy him.
You sound like you want to try to at least explore the idea of reconciliation. If your wife is amenable and you trust she is not only contrite, but willing to put in the legwork, think about it. But not now. You need some time, and not just a few days, or a week. You need as long as it takes to make this decision -- do not rush it.
I know how you feel about being at "the scene of the crime." I found out that she had been there with him when I was away on a business trip. It killed me. And in the months that followed, even though we were living apart, most of his stuff was still in the house. I felt like it was haunted by his ghost, and the ghosts of our past happiness. It drove me bananas. I took a six month hiatus from VJ starting the day I discovered the affair. I couldn't stand to read about happy couples. I couldn't face my friends on here. I was consumed by what happened and ultimately it broke me down because I allowed myself to be obsessed with thinking about what happened. I lost a ton of weight. I lost consultancy contracts. I lost a lot of self-respect.
What set me free was accepting what happened, trying to learn from the mistakes, and taking a LOT of time to heal. I now have a new career and the happiest and healthiest relationship I have ever had. It took me two years to get there, but I did it.
The one thing that kept reminding myself, even in the rawest moments, is that whatever he did, he would have to live with, and whatever I did, I would have to live with. That meant nothing I could be ashamed of in years to come. You can be strong and assert yourself without being vindictive. This is the best decision I made, because looking back, I behaved with dignity throughout. It's a thought to keep you going.
If you ever want to drop me a PM, please do.

First off, my sincere condolences. My marriage went t!ts up due to infidelity 11 months after we entered the US, despite having lived together abroad for a couple of years before we made the move. He and I tried to reconcile for almost a year while living separately, and did six months of marital therapy. Ultimately, though, you both have to be committed to counselling to make it work, and he wasn't. (In retrospect, although the break-up was cataclysmic, I've come out the other end happier and healthier than I've ever been as an adult.)
You need to step back from all of this for a while, even though it is all you can think about (and will be for some time). What is the outcome you desire most of all? Is that outcome realistic? Does it involve her? Does she want to be involved?
There are many on here who will say once a cheater, always a cheater. Personally, I don't agree that this is always the case. But you do need to look at your wife's history in this matter, and determine whether you can trust her. I don't know about you, but what was most painful to me was that he lied to me. Not being with another woman, but all the lies. He still lies to me about what happened, even though he and I have grown to be friends again. When you marry someone, you open yourself to them completely, bring them yourself and trust them with your heart and soul and body. Breaking that trust can be fatal. Only you and she know whether the trust can be rebuilt.
My best advice would be not to do anything rash right now, when you are at your most vulnerable and most raw. It feels surreal, like you're walking in a dream, I know. If you can stay with friends now, do. Talk to your friends and family. They know you best. There are people on here who will tell you to go home, you have nothing invested here. Only you know how much you have invested here, in terms of life and relationship.
It is your decision. Be strong, and take courage.