Jilianne

I really hope that you do not take what I'm about to say the wrong way.
Your response to Beth's frustration is exactly why I have pretty much stopped posting in the January filers thread. I find myself reading this every day really hoping and praying that you and the others that are still waiting receive their NOA2s at lightning speed. I thought that this thread would be a place for everyone - even those who HAVE received their NOA2 and are waiting for their interview date - or even those who HAVE received their interview date - to talk and discuss any and all frustrations they might be feeling, as well as successes that they have in their lives. But it doesn't really seem to be that way, which is kind of hard because you know as well as anyone else that no one else truly understands how hard this process is unless they, too, are going through it. I do not post how frustrated I am with our embassy, how they DO take months to schedule an interview and how seemingly heartbreaking it is, because I don't want someone to chastise me for feeling those feelings. YES, it is wonderful to know that the first stage is behind us and YES, I hope that every single person in this thread gets their NOA2 really soon and can move to the next stage, but it's really hard to find some encouragement in a place where some people seem to put you down because their situation is not 'as bad' as someone else's.
To be honest, yes, both Beth and I are very fortunate to be able to live in the same country as our fiances. But our lives are also on hold waiting for the visa because we are overseas, which I do not ever complain about because it was the path that I chose willingly (and we live in a very dangerous country - which I never complain about on here because again, it was MY choice to live here). Try to remember that everyone's situation is different and we all have our own frustrations - just because we voice them doesn't mean that we are minimizing yours or anyone else's situation. I truly hope that your NOA2 comes soon.
I really hope that this thread can be a little bit more welcoming to other frustrations that are not related to the NOA2, so people can feel it's ok to post where they are in their process and feel ok to vent about something that is bothering them.
I hope I did not offend you in any way, that's only the way I've been feeling lately.

Back then it was easy to say, "If there's a thread you don't like, don't click."
That's no longer applicable to the current OT forum. There are too many threads that only three people like and the rest of us don't. Threads that foment spamming should be closed.
Also, stop tolerating this person who posts in every single thread, on every single forum. Why is this varmint posting even on the N-400 and AOS forums down to MENA?
I really hope that VJ sets a daily post limit, like 50 max or another reasonable number. If you wanna post more, you have to pay $5 for 100 posts. Well, Zynga makes money from virtual goods. Mayhap Ewok can give them a run for their money. After all, whoever spends the whole day doing nothing else but post on VJ must be keeping lots of $$$$$$$. VJ should milk them.

Some people are taking 'post whoring' waaaay too far. There are posters in the game forum who literally post in about 10 threads, every couple of minutes. It's not really a gameif there's one person participating. It's just them upping their post count and posting the time, or a number, or a word every two or three minutes.
You have to go pages back if you want to actually catch up on a different post/topic that someone might have made that didn't happen to be a game. I made a post in a game thread about ten minutes ago - and it's gone. Buried in a backpage because of ONE poster.
It's obnoxious.

Just to clear up this mole hill before it becomes a mountain . . . the member in question was invited by another member already on Visa Journey to join the site and share his knowledge and experience. He was not 'officially' invited by anyone in administration or moderation, he was not invited as an outside agitator, he was not invited to cause problems. He joined Visa Journey the same way you or anyone else joined - because of an interest in and personal experience with US immigration matters and a belief that he could be of use by sharing his experience and knowledge.
The posts involved were removed because they quoted TOS violating posts - nothing secretive or conniving or nefarioius. It is what is done regularly when a post quotes another post that violates TOS. Global moderators do not have the ability to edit out TOS violating quotes from a post so the whole post is removed.
For what it is worth, the most disruptive individuals on Visa Journey - most of whom are on Moderation's 'Habitual Offenders List' - are all individuals who have been here for some time and who joined because of their own personal immigration journeys. In some cases they are still on their own immigration journeys and in others they are finished but have chosen to remain on Visa Journey. If you wish to accuse someone of causing the most disruptions on Visa Journey, I would suggest you look 'closer to home' rather than trying to target 'outside insurgents'.
So, please stop trying to make this into something that it isn't.

Same with me. Because of the nature of my work, I don't have a Facebook account for personal security reasons. Bottom line is that with any public forum there is always going to be those with good intentions and those with bad intent. If using Facebook were a requirement, I think you would lose a lot of good people with good information. As with the Government, anytime you create a new requirement (regulation) you create unintended consequences that or more often than not worse than the problem you were trying to solve in the first place.
Personally, I think the bigger issue is with people creating timelines and never updating them. This just throws of the trending information and causes undue frustration for everyone else.

Games are not the problem - people are

stay strong guys, it WILL happen.
we got our noa2 on friday and it was wonderful, and now we're preparing to say goodbye again until POE... andrew's flight is tomorow and all i want to do is cry. i know we have our approval and that is a huuuge step i'm so grateful for, but i guess the point is, we're all hurting in some way, and we all deserve friggin' medals for doing this! but in a matter of MONTHS we're all gonna be exchanging stories of arriving in the US and starting our new, permanent lives... this is what keeps me going. we really are at the very end of the marathon - especially for those like us, who did long distance for a good few years before getting engaged. we're all gonna be okay!

Here's an update: I emailed the embassy on a Saturday night for them to have on Sunday morning when they open. I requested them to please re-consider my case and I attached Skype conversations, various pictures from our vacation in Turkey and pictures of our rings together. On Monday morning I received and email that they are re-considering their decision and my fiance needs to drop off or mail his passport @ the embassy. Mohamed dropped off his passport and 3 weeks later he still did not have his visa. I emailed the embassy and received an email the same day stating that his visa has been printed and he should be receiving in a couple of days. What a journey!!! What an accomplishment!!! :-)

He sent me pictures of the letter given to him at the consulate. Basically they denied his visa because they figured he had an intent to stay in the US, which was true. I knew we should have applied for the fiance visa instead and just done it all legally but he was convinced it would be fine (never ever listen to your friends when dealing with these issues). The piece of paper said he could reapply for the tourist visa again in three months if he had more proof of his ties back to Brazil. Mentioned nothing about a ban.

Flipped open the iPad one last time before bed and...... THE EMAIL!!!!!!! Approved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was shaking and crying and best of all got to turn to Andrew and kiss him right away.... On our 3rd anniversary, no less!!!!!!!! What an amazing week - all we wanted was noa2 by the time he left. Amazing feeling. Hope you all get to feel it soon. Thank you so much for all your support, what an amazing community we have created here!

Hello VJ,
So in reading another thread about someone having issues in their relationship, I have decided to share some widsom I have gleamed over the years. If you have anything to contribute please feel free.
1. Abuse- This is a blanket term. Few people don't know they're in a abusive relationship so I will give some examples. Any unwanted physical contact should be met with the termination of the relationship immediately. No excuses. If your SO is putting you down(calling you names, i.e B****, w**** to name a few, talking about you in their native tongue so you can't understand them) making it so the only person's opinion that counts is theirs, you might want to reconsider being with this person for the rest of your life. Here I see so many stories about these things, it makes me wonder how many warning signs were there before they took that trip down the aisle.
2. Lying/Cheating- This one is really up to the person involved in the situation. Some say "once a cheater, always a cheater", others believe in second chances. Each encounter is different and it's up to you to make that choice. But with all the STD's out there, pregancies and drama that comes with this subject, I'd walk away before things get worse, because they will.
3. Respect- No brainer, if this isn't in your relationship, you shouldn't be either.
4. Counseling- Just to clear things up, this is to enrich, repair or help communications between people. If your SO has no concept of the basics(the above mentioned things) counseling isn't for you. Meaning if you are in a marriage and cheating and lying have been there since the beginning, it would help for you to get counseling to get AWAY frorm that person, not stay in a relationship.
There are some many other things I can say about this but I'll leave it at this, your SO is supposed to bring out the best in you, not the worst.

Don't worry too much---there was no visible progress in California all day yesterday and then boom--at 10 PM my time--idk what time that is for CA--it was showing up on the USCIS site before I got an email! So I just tried to distract myself by working on the paperwork and running errands all day yesterday and then thought that I was not going to hear anything and right after I had decided that it was over for the day, there it was! So my best advice is to just find whatever else you can possibly do and don't keep checking every hour b/c that will make you more crazy!

Hey everyone, I didn't want to post this in the main area, buy,.... Sveta and I recieved our NOA2 just a few minutes ago!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, it is ridiculous that we want to do things legally and see what happens.. we are left to wait for months and months...
Apparently there are lawyers who even suggest skipping this part and just do the "less legal way".
With the current technology I don't understand why there is not a way to apply by sending an electronic file instead. Everything should be loaded up as pdf so there is no way of misplacing, missing things and automatically a background search could be requested at receipt of the file. Why is it even so important that a signature is an original one when it is now legal a signature sent via email?!
It would all be more bearable if it was a process that requires max 3/4 months to visa in hand...

Try and hang in there mate. I know it sucks. The canned answers they provide frustrate people more. I work at the local government level and when I get called, I really try to help people and offer them honest answers while being sympathetic to their problems and staying professional. I hate it when I have to call the city for personal things as a non-employee and I get non-answers and the brush off.
I really do hope you receive your notice soon.

Do you think its gotten easier for you as a couple or more difficult as time progresses waiting for visa?
I feel like its up and down. I don't think life has paused really, just kind of spinning in a slow circle now while still moving in a forward direction so to speak hehe.
I went to visit my fiancee for a second time about 40 days ago. Now it seems much harder being apart than it did our first time. Maybe because we developed so much more being together.
Got to another level, you know. One day she was just walking around the room doing some stuff, and starting singing to herself.
My first time hearing her like this, so natural and carefree. It was just a little song she had in her head, but it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.
It was not enough time, only about 13 days. Every moment of each day I savored like it was my last on earth, for real.
At least back then I knew when I was going to go and see her again. Now we have plans for the future, but the timeline is pretty much unknown.
Skype is ok. Lately I've been like I'd give anything, just to be able to reach through the screen and be near her...
Tomorrow is another day, like all the rest waiting... Or will it be different? Maybe just maybe I'll receive an SMS/email that will stop the spin cycle, and give us a shove to the future.
Stay positive... Keep on doing what your doing. Relax with your friends, try to be happy and live life. Bless to everyone waiting, time hasn't stopped. Our time is soon.

Well, from a legal standpoint it shouldn't matter but it does matter from a biological standpoint which I am now understanding that the Consulates makes their business. Sad in any case, but once one knows the perceived requirement then one must be prepared to engage on that level. I think this is what our "Sachinky" was hinting at.
This idea that every couple wants to, or can for that matter, produce offsprings is a fallacy and shouldn't be a benchmark for the petition decision.

Oh no how horrible for you both? How much of an age difference is there if you don;t mind my asking? And I don't understand the double standard. Why is it OK for a man to marry a woman many years her junior and not a woman? In this day and age in the US it's very acceptable for a woman to marry someone younger. My husband is younger than me, as well and hasn't has his interview yet. I pray for you and your fiance'. Stay strong, you will overcome this!!!

That's too funny. I can relate to that and I sympathize with him.
I'm from tropical Australia, have been here for more than 12 years and I'm only just starting to go outside after our long winter.The snow has finally melted so I may even go out and collect our mail today. One of our neighbour's asked my husband when I was coming back from Australia. He said I didn't go anywhere but I was inside the house all winter. He told them they should start seeing me in the next couple of weeks.
The snow was a novelty 6 years ago when we first moved here and I even made a snowman. It turned out to be a 5 foot high Koala which I called Snowala. It made the local newspaper. I haven't made any snowmen since then.

Thank you, everyone, for your responses. You all were absolutely right, HE is the one who moved to MY country, and that combined with living with in-laws gives him every right to be frustrated. (Oh, and no, we can't get good internet at home because we live in a rural area, so we drive into town to a coffee shop, but I did manage to get him internet on his cell phone.)
I took a lot of your suggestions, I took him to the beach, I've set up weekly dinners with friends for us, we have decided to move out as soon as possible. His happiness means more to me than anything. We're cooking more, I've taken to cooking one dinner for us and one for my parents.
I emailed his parents, and they are sending a care package.
The job situation is frustrating still for him, but he is volunteering with the animal shelter, and applying to a lot of places. He applied to Lowe's yesterday, I'm crossing my fingers.
Whenever he gets frustrated I just remember our wedding day in South Korea, and how happy we were, and I remember that I promised myself I would be the best wife possible.
We DCF-filed, so we've never been apart in the four years we've been together. We can survive this adjustment. I think you all are right, and getting us into our own place is my first priority. I'm trying to find us a house "downtown" (small town, but we still have a downtown) so he feels closer to the action.
And as luck would have it, my parents have decided to go visit relatives so we have the house to ourselves this weekend.
We still have a ways to go, but I'm trying to be the wife he deserves.
I love all of you, thank you.

Applying for citizenship is a personal choice and not a requirement. Sometimes applying for citizenship means giving up rights/privileges in your home country or means losing citizenship in your home country. Up until 10 years ago this was the case in the OP's country.

I am not Nigerian but I knew more of the culture than most non Nigerians entering into this. It was so needed to get through this. It helps me remember to stop and explain to my husband that "this isn't the way you do that in America because... " and helps me to know when to just shake my head and say " Crazy Nigierians" It also helps me deal with the things that must be done back there ( as you can tell from my tag there is a LOT for him to deal with remotely , thank heavens for the cabinet ) But I also read about the tens of thousands of Americans that are bilked out of millions of dollars by 419 and romance scams ( which are all blamed on west africans no matter who does the deed) and really think at times the embassy needs to increase their vetting of relationships. The moethod employed are suited for scammers to slip thorugh. They are so practiced at story telling that they fly past the interviews and telling of such lies about loving someone is against the American thought process that the USC is clueless about these fools. I wish that they could implement something like voluntary lie detectors to enable those that wish to submit to the test a fast track path to a visa. So many from Nigeria have to petetion twice to get our partner here and it is because we pay for the misdeeds of others. I know of more than one person romanced scammed by Nigerians that are so brain washed by the love talk they continue on to petition the man child that spoke those words behind the persona of a wealthy white man. Nigeria will never be allowed to use a VWP until you can get rid of the people with pockets full of Nigerian passports so they can try and try again to sneak past the embassy .

Don't believe everything you hear... lol
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I think this is a great thread. I am here(US) for a 3 month holiday before I move permanently and I am feeling homesick and I am a little bit scared about my move now but it is also helping me get ready and helping me understand what life will be like, at least until we adjust status and I can work etc.
All I can advise is to try and be understanding towards your husband, I am sure the first 6 months are hard most new couples; add the stress of living with your family , changing diet etc, it could be very daunting.
Try to talk to him, ask him how he is feeling and ask what you guys could do together to help him feel better and more at home.
Good luck, my thoughts are with you!

Mrs Nelson, You have plenty of support and advice in this thread, so I'm thinking of something different to offer you thats not already said, so I'm trying to view this from the point of view as a Kiwi aswell (I live in Australia at the moment), to see what can be done to help lift his spirits a bit, if he had access to some familiar things from home, he might be happier. I spent 3 months in Canada and finding the smallest thing from NZ was uplifting when I was homesick. the internet is a big one, if nothing else, then this is the one thing you should seriously consider getting. You don't have to get completely wired up at the house, get a wireless card or such, have you found any local wireless spots he can go to? If he can have contact with home or read the NZ newspapers, he could relax a bit more.
see if you can find any local sports bars that show the Rugby, hes a kiwi, I'd be surprised if he didn't follow it. That should change his spirits immensely, nothing says home to a Kiwi man like a Rugby game. I know that the games can be streamed live from the internet over there, but.. you need internet for that.
how about encourage him to cook at least once a week, I know there are several websites that have NZ/Australian foods you can have delivered, it might be pricey, but a couple of small home treats will help that won't break the budget. contact his family in NZ perhaps and ask if they can send a care package or two.
Id be happy to send you some NZ recipes and links to websites for such things that I'm collecting myself for my (eventual) move.
I don't know if this will help him. but its worth a shot if it hasn't been tried already.

That's the risk we all take when we bring our loved ones to this country. It sucks that even though we try to show them how life is like here they cannot handle it once they arrive. I would say try not to argue with him. You gotta understand that it is also a huge change for him. He changed a lifestyle that he had for all his life. Talk to him, show him that you are aware of the effort he's making to adjust himself to you and his new life. You are the one who's used to the country and it's your job to help him adjust. About the food and living with your parents try to move out asap! Because we all know that living with our parent- in-law is not a fun thing and males hate the fact that somehow they depend on us. If he doesn't like the food your parents make, try to make something different for him, things that he likes to eat. About the job, well its very rare that a person coming from another country finds a job that is on the same level or even higher in this country. America is a country of opportunities, but in order to succeed we need to prove America that we are hard workers and that we're capable of reaching our goals. No ellite position comes from the sky. We gotta work for what we have and wish to have. Again do not argue with him because that makes it worst. Put yourself in his position and say the thing you would want to hear if you were him. Don't give up and fight for your love