Peter_Pan

Health insurance sucks, paid vacations are non existant, ditto for maternity leaves, guns everywhere and super costly education. No, I don't love the US (America is a continent, not a country), but, alas, sometimes you have to make some sacrifices in life.

This is just me, musing to myself: relationships like this, in itself seems rather unequal and unfair to me, and I wonder how factors like this are taken into account during the interview. We were both 22 when we got married so we didn't really have an established life to speak of on either side, but if the beneficiary and petitioner have no common ground to speak of -- that is, the petitioner has such an established and settled life that makes it impossible for him/her to move whereas the the beneficiary is fresh out of college and has nothing to speak of. In the context of third-world countries, it would also bear a look at the beneficiary's quality of life to discern whether desperation to get to the US at any cost is a factor in this relationship.
Let it be said, for the record, in my whole born-and-brought-up-native Indian life, I have not known any twenty-year old Indian guy who'd be seen with an Indian woman approaching forty (with a kid from a previous relationship to boot) in public as engaged or married. The whole scenario is so absurd that it makes me laugh. I don't care how cosmopolitan or liberal the city is, or how progressive their parents are and how enlightened their upbringing was. No way, Jose. [Of course, now, these women who have spent 2 weeks in India will tell me otherwise, because, you know, anyone with an Indian significant other is an expert on India. Or that their beau is different and so bloody mature]. So what's so special about these 40 year old American women that suddenly all these deep seated cultural taboos are being flouted left, right and center, with apparently, parental blessings when the same exceptions would never be made for another Indian woman? A green-card sure is a nice way to sweeten the deal, I'd think.
I don't think it's discrimination against couples with age-gaps but rather concern over what that age gap implies. Similarly, I refuse to believe that the US consulates in India have it out for inter-racial couples. It's not race that is the issue, but other factors in play, that bring out the disparity in life goals, education levels, socio-economic strata, etc.
Thoughts?

I agree with you, in that I don't think V&C have any reason to worry about.
But while these sort of relationships are not completely unheard of, it is pretty damned rare. Rare enough to be a cultural aberration. Couple that with a large significant age gap (definitely against all established Indian cultural norms), the fact that the female OP is nearing the end of her child-bearing years, has a child from a previous relationship, the meeting was online, and only 10 days have been spent in person together -- it is what it is. Those are not one but several HUGE red flags. Again, it is has very little to do with race, per se. Those are the things I pointed out earlier, not as judgement but as the factors that led to this unsurprising outcome. The OP jumped to the defense of her relationship (despite the fact that I wasn't attacking her relationship) -- just telling her that this is what the CO saw and these are the factors that led to his/her decision. India is a high-fraud country (for good reason, IMO -- I have seen people say and do things you wouldn't believe when it comes to a US green-card) and these factors are clearly why the beneficiary was grilled for hours.
At the end of the day, this is what the CO essentially is looking at. If you take out the immigration aspect, does this relationship still make any sense? Would the beneficiary continue to be in this relationship, all other factors remaining constant, if the OP were an Indian female?

Sachinky is one of the most intelligent, literate, thoughtful, no-bullsh!t members of VisaJourney -- wise beyond her years, and a breath of fresh air.

Wonder if you will say the same when your barely legal daughter brings home a man in his 60s.

Why the inshalla? Have you coverted? That seems to be a trend as well, some women just have no backone.

I care because I plan on calling NVC and get that code I need, so I will then know when to call the embassy cause I'm tired of waiting and I wanna get married on the 24th, that's why.

How is she supposed to know how your house looks like? How do the officers know that anyway, to tell her she is wrong?
As to the family, I dont think I could describe them either, not to mention the fact that in the span of just some months, a child's hair colour went from blonde to pure dark.

How is she supposed to know how your house looks like? How do the officers know that anyway, to tell her she is wrong?
As to the family, I dont think I could describe them either, not to mention the fact that in the span of just some months, a child's hair colour went from blonde to pure dark.

How is she supposed to know how your house looks like? How do the officers know that anyway, to tell her she is wrong?
As to the family, I dont think I could describe them either, not to mention the fact that in the span of just some months, a child's hair colour went from blonde to pure dark.

Because you didn't fill it in correctly, you should be at either California or Vermont Center, not at Texas, that's just the place your petition was initially filled to.

How about going to the honeymoon, then getting married?

How about going to the honeymoon, then getting married?

That's bullshit, I lived with a guy and slept in his bed and didn't have sex because I didn't want to.
My own parents were married legally for months and sleeping under the same roof and in the same bed and didn't consume the marriage because mom wanted to wait until after the religious ceremony.

She didn't marry the rapist who petitioned for her, but someone else she met later on.

I'm disappointed, I was expecting murder and mayhem, not trash convictions.

I'm disappointed, I was expecting murder and mayhem, not trash convictions.

I'm disappointed, I was expecting murder and mayhem, not trash convictions.

I'm disappointed, I was expecting murder and mayhem, not trash convictions.

Personally, I hold women in much higher esteem than men and expect more out of them. A grandfather married to a much younger woman is as disgusting to me as the opposite. But on the other hand, I expect women to take one look at a picture of themselves and the pretty boy from Africa/India/MENA, who said "I love you" so wonderfully early on and go "####, I can't do this, I look like his grannie, I have more self esteem than that".
I foresee a post removal.

Personally, I hold women in much higher esteem than men and expect more out of them. A grandfather married to a much younger woman is as disgusting to me as the opposite. But on the other hand, I expect women to take one look at a picture of themselves and the pretty boy from Africa/India/MENA, who said "I love you" so wonderfully early on and go "####, I can't do this, I look like his grannie, I have more self esteem than that".
I foresee a post removal.

Hmm, guys, we aren't talking about situations in which the alien has married specifically to get into the US, or at least I wasn't. Most of the threads I've read had NOTHING to do with being tricked into a fraud marriage, and everything to do with the marriage falling apart for some other reason.
There are some sick people over there, marrying foreigners less than half their age and expected to be waited on hand and foot. “I am 50 and I’ve married my Filipina sweetheart who is 19, but ever since she came she is always on the computer chatting with her friends, how do I send her back?”

@pddp I like you.
And yes, it annoys me to no end to see the "return them for faulty components" attitude (I did read a lot of the break-up stories, and that seemed to be a recurring question). Either the American feel entitled "I've saved you from a 3rd world country", or it is the classical spite for an ex.
And lo and behold, I got that one served to me yesterday.

Adevarat a-nviat!

I guess that, based on how well prepared we are, they sort of figure it out by themselves.
BTW, if you're watching, where's my NOA2?