NoneYa

I am a software developer and it is damn hard to write this stuff ! Somebody has to pay me to do it or I wouldn't bother getting out of bed.

If I fall off a boat in the ocean.. would God tell me to pray or swim ? Succes of your marriage will be determined by what you and your spouse do in that marriage on a daily basis.

Reread what you posted:
she has been fighting me on the most littlest things, in the most unrea-
sonable ways. She would also put my priorities in the backseat and would focus on
her relatives in San Diego and attend to their plans. She would ignore gifts and
good gestures from my family like she doesn't want to do anything with my family.
She has threatened to leave me before and she's verbally abusive (I would some-
times record her)
It's okay to make a mistake but to have a family with this woman would be a disaster. Something is wrong. Seek individual counceling by an independent source.
You are blinded by love for this woman obviously. That is no way to live the rest of your life.

Reread what you posted:
she has been fighting me on the most littlest things, in the most unrea-
sonable ways. She would also put my priorities in the backseat and would focus on
her relatives in San Diego and attend to their plans. She would ignore gifts and
good gestures from my family like she doesn't want to do anything with my family.
She has threatened to leave me before and she's verbally abusive (I would some-
times record her)
It's okay to make a mistake but to have a family with this woman would be a disaster. Something is wrong. Seek individual counceling by an independent source.
You are blinded by love for this woman obviously. That is no way to live the rest of your life.

Reread what you posted:
she has been fighting me on the most littlest things, in the most unrea-
sonable ways. She would also put my priorities in the backseat and would focus on
her relatives in San Diego and attend to their plans. She would ignore gifts and
good gestures from my family like she doesn't want to do anything with my family.
She has threatened to leave me before and she's verbally abusive (I would some-
times record her)
It's okay to make a mistake but to have a family with this woman would be a disaster. Something is wrong. Seek individual counceling by an independent source.
You are blinded by love for this woman obviously. That is no way to live the rest of your life.

Reread what you posted:
she has been fighting me on the most littlest things, in the most unrea-
sonable ways. She would also put my priorities in the backseat and would focus on
her relatives in San Diego and attend to their plans. She would ignore gifts and
good gestures from my family like she doesn't want to do anything with my family.
She has threatened to leave me before and she's verbally abusive (I would some-
times record her)
It's okay to make a mistake but to have a family with this woman would be a disaster. Something is wrong. Seek individual counceling by an independent source.
You are blinded by love for this woman obviously. That is no way to live the rest of your life.

Reread what you posted:
she has been fighting me on the most littlest things, in the most unrea-
sonable ways. She would also put my priorities in the backseat and would focus on
her relatives in San Diego and attend to their plans. She would ignore gifts and
good gestures from my family like she doesn't want to do anything with my family.
She has threatened to leave me before and she's verbally abusive (I would some-
times record her)
It's okay to make a mistake but to have a family with this woman would be a disaster. Something is wrong. Seek individual counceling by an independent source.
You are blinded by love for this woman obviously. That is no way to live the rest of your life.

Life is not fair. Get used to it. Be patient. You just filed in late June. You have no reason to complain.

Life is not fair. Get used to it. Be patient. You just filed in late June. You have no reason to complain.

Since this is state specific, do you think it has to do with California's budgetary problems ?

I think I am going to try to get her to call in sick or stick to her guns and say she has to have these days off. These people work so much, for so little,
with no benefits.. its just not right. I think it is near slave labor because the resort room rates are $ 200 a night there. It really changes the equation
when I am behind her and she knows that. I'll have her work right up till the interview if possible.
Her next job will be Domestic Goddess.

and people wonder why SOME PEOPLE want a prenup on their second marriage.

az110965 word of caution should be underlined. When a woman comes from another country, they CAN push you under the bus to die if it means they will survive here. Not all of them but some. Based on what I know, I would absolutely pack my suitcase and move somewhere and have her evicted if you are living together. All she has to do is cut herself, bruise herself and you will find yourself in jail and when you get out, you will not be able to come home to your own house. If you argue at all with her stop because she might be drawing you into a trap.
If she is a manipulator and lies on occassion.. this is a real volital mix with a hidden survivoralist instinct. Be afraid but you know your situation better than us.

Tell your husband to grow a pair of balls first. You would have a tough time to stay in this country without support.
Look, there are difficult people in this world. This woman obviously doesn't like you. She doesn't trust you. Sometimes people are negative and are just like that. They are called difficult. This is really a tall order but the only way to deal with her is to handle her correctly. Study how to handle difficult people. You have to understand that it is her domain and you are at a disadvantage. I would change your view of her. If you can get her to be your friend, no matter how negative she is.. your problem would be solved. You have to find a way to manipulate her (this is fair if she is a manipulator herself). Study her and find out what it is that bothers her. Maybe you are too pretty.. Ugly up some. Maybe she thinks you go to the store too much (find something else to do). Maybe she feels like you don't contribute... (although you are working so I don't think that is it.). Maybe she is worried you are going to have children and screw up her life. You have to cave in and make her your friend. SLOWLY. Very gently, start to agree with her and support her but don't let her know that you are doing this. Be sly about it. If you can swallow your pride and accept the fact that they are in charge and you must get along with them at all cost, then you might survive in this situation. I don't want to bash your husband but why would he bring you into this situation ? You better really evaluate whether you want to try to work this out because if you get pregnant in a situation like this and not solve it, things will get worse. Why does your husband not find his own place ? I don't know.. it almost sounds like you picked the wrong man but like I said, your only option is to make this woman your best friend. I don't know about the legalities or anything else but I do know if you get in trouble there are women crisis centers and churches that would help you too maybe. I had a bad experience with a lying manipulative woman once. I hired the best attorney in town and probably 50% of his strategy was to identify and classify her ways and then devise a plan to deal with the problem (the woman). I caught on very fast... you can't avoid dealing with people like this. People are complex and they are everywhere. If you fight them, they will fight back. If you swim with the current... you will make it to the other side of the river and not drown.

az110965 word of caution should be underlined. When a woman comes from another country, they CAN push you under the bus to die if it means they will survive here. Not all of them but some. Based on what I know, I would absolutely pack my suitcase and move somewhere and have her evicted if you are living together. All she has to do is cut herself, bruise herself and you will find yourself in jail and when you get out, you will not be able to come home to your own house. If you argue at all with her stop because she might be drawing you into a trap.
If she is a manipulator and lies on occassion.. this is a real volital mix with a hidden survivoralist instinct. Be afraid but you know your situation better than us.

az110965 word of caution should be underlined. When a woman comes from another country, they CAN push you under the bus to die if it means they will survive here. Not all of them but some. Based on what I know, I would absolutely pack my suitcase and move somewhere and have her evicted if you are living together. All she has to do is cut herself, bruise herself and you will find yourself in jail and when you get out, you will not be able to come home to your own house. If you argue at all with her stop because she might be drawing you into a trap.
If she is a manipulator and lies on occassion.. this is a real volital mix with a hidden survivoralist instinct. Be afraid but you know your situation better than us.

az110965 word of caution should be underlined. When a woman comes from another country, they CAN push you under the bus to die if it means they will survive here. Not all of them but some. Based on what I know, I would absolutely pack my suitcase and move somewhere and have her evicted if you are living together. All she has to do is cut herself, bruise herself and you will find yourself in jail and when you get out, you will not be able to come home to your own house. If you argue at all with her stop because she might be drawing you into a trap.
If she is a manipulator and lies on occassion.. this is a real volital mix with a hidden survivoralist instinct. Be afraid but you know your situation better than us.

Negotiate a financial payment to the ex husband to cooperate or tell him he will get nothing anyway. Maybe his prior expenses is what has him so pissed off anyway.
A good attorney would tell you to pay him off is an option. You will need a good lawyer.

What if his benefit's change ? There is a backlash in America about this now. Just be informed and be aware that if you have no work history, you will never get ahead. Building a career and experience and the road to more money takes experience and time. Don't waste it. Be very informed on this subject and be aware that the benefits could change 5,10, 20 years from now. America is burdened with debt and there will be pressure to reduce benefits to those who don't need them or take them away.
http://blog.heritage.org/2010/09/07/one-in-six-americans-receives-government-assistance/

That's right Bill Clinton included ! and half our senators.. and the police force...judges... all of them !

Why is the Philippines the kidnapping capital of the world? Why do all the western governments have travel warnings. Sure, I know it is safe for the most part but I prefer to use my judgement on the safety, not yours. If your so confident, go visit Jolo for your next vacation. It's really cheap there and say hello to Abu Sayyaf because he wants to meet the Westerner who is rich in their eyes.

Heheehee. Teeth do not prove a relationship. . too funny. Good advice. I think the advice will do some good in helping me focus in on what is a relationship. We will present them a basket of goods. Maybe the book I got my fiancee about pregnancy might signal a relationship more than paying for her teeth? Yep, I did take her a book on "pregnancy and what to expect" because we are both intetested in having kids which neither of us have. We are excited about it all.