sheeshkabelle

First everyone needs to quit comparing the K-1s to CR-1s. Total different ball game. K-1 and K-3 (mostly defunct) are non-immigrant visas. Yes, they get an approval a little quicker, yes, they get through NVC in a few days, yes, they seem to get interviews faster. Once they get here, they have three to five months more wait for their green card. Their visas are substantially more than a CR-1. CR-1's POE, have their temporary green card in their passport, get a SSN in a few days and are ready to take on their new life.
K-1 and K-3ers still live in limbo, even after everything. If they don't have their ducks in a row and have all the evidence and the I-864, it's all for nothing. They can't get a job, they can't volunteer, they can't get a driver's license in most states.. it's sit around and wait, wait, wait. Just like all of us are doing now, the only perk, they get to spend it with their significant other. How much fun would that be after six months of sitting on the couch watching the world go by. There's a reason money and jobs were invented, so you can spend 8 hours a day away from each other!
The big, bad US government isn't out to get anyone. Yes, it's a good joke of mine, but I don't think anyone employed by Uncle Sam is monitoring what I do or when I do it. When you send in that I-130 it's a ####### shoot. You go to one of two service centers. California being notoriously slow, or Vermont being faster. You don't know where you'll end up! Once there, you don't know who's desk you're going to end up on.
Suzy Q. might not be as fast at hammering out petitions as Johnny B. Or Suzy Q. has a lot of petitions from high fraud countries that take extensive work, you might be at the bottom of the pile. Johnny B. might not be even reading anything and just rubber stamping stuff as it goes through. Everyone has heard the stories about getting to the Embassy/Consulate and being denied because of something USCIS should have caught. Or even being denied at POE because everyone dropped the ball. Hell, our petition was LOST! I have no doubt we would still be in California in a USCIS black hole if it wasn't for my congressman lighting a fire under their butts. The US Government is highly inefficient, but not out to ruin someone's life just for the kicks of it.
There's probably been dozens of people over the years on VJ making spread sheets and mining data, crunching numbers to figure the system out. No one's been able to crack the holy immigration code.
Maybe some Embassies/Consulates really do stick to the first two weeks of the month rule, maybe not. Maybe there's thousands of other people all around the US and the world going through the same thing, and they have to have an appointment too... It's not just us. You have the CR-1s and IR-1s and K-1s and K-3s and HB-1s and F-1s... the list goes on. There's been people waiting for decades, years!
Ya, it's no damn fun to sit here and watch people with NOA1/NOA2/NVC dates before ours zip through the system and be with their spouses and come and tell us how grand life is. It's all sunshine and cupcakes and sprinkles! Wish you were here! It made me mad, jealous and down right pissed off when I was watching people from September go to interviews while we sat in CSC. In a perfect world it would be first come, first serve, here's your visa, have a nice day. Unfortunately we're not living in a perfect world.
There's my .2 cents on the whole thing.. take it or leave it.

and after that.. we bring you back to our regulary scheduled program...
Hubby did good! The DS-3032 he emailed this morning was accepted, and I got the email that they received our AOS packet.
Happy weekend NVCers!!

First everyone needs to quit comparing the K-1s to CR-1s. Total different ball game. K-1 and K-3 (mostly defunct) are non-immigrant visas. Yes, they get an approval a little quicker, yes, they get through NVC in a few days, yes, they seem to get interviews faster. Once they get here, they have three to five months more wait for their green card. Their visas are substantially more than a CR-1. CR-1's POE, have their temporary green card in their passport, get a SSN in a few days and are ready to take on their new life.
K-1 and K-3ers still live in limbo, even after everything. If they don't have their ducks in a row and have all the evidence and the I-864, it's all for nothing. They can't get a job, they can't volunteer, they can't get a driver's license in most states.. it's sit around and wait, wait, wait. Just like all of us are doing now, the only perk, they get to spend it with their significant other. How much fun would that be after six months of sitting on the couch watching the world go by. There's a reason money and jobs were invented, so you can spend 8 hours a day away from each other!
The big, bad US government isn't out to get anyone. Yes, it's a good joke of mine, but I don't think anyone employed by Uncle Sam is monitoring what I do or when I do it. When you send in that I-130 it's a ####### shoot. You go to one of two service centers. California being notoriously slow, or Vermont being faster. You don't know where you'll end up! Once there, you don't know who's desk you're going to end up on.
Suzy Q. might not be as fast at hammering out petitions as Johnny B. Or Suzy Q. has a lot of petitions from high fraud countries that take extensive work, you might be at the bottom of the pile. Johnny B. might not be even reading anything and just rubber stamping stuff as it goes through. Everyone has heard the stories about getting to the Embassy/Consulate and being denied because of something USCIS should have caught. Or even being denied at POE because everyone dropped the ball. Hell, our petition was LOST! I have no doubt we would still be in California in a USCIS black hole if it wasn't for my congressman lighting a fire under their butts. The US Government is highly inefficient, but not out to ruin someone's life just for the kicks of it.
There's probably been dozens of people over the years on VJ making spread sheets and mining data, crunching numbers to figure the system out. No one's been able to crack the holy immigration code.
Maybe some Embassies/Consulates really do stick to the first two weeks of the month rule, maybe not. Maybe there's thousands of other people all around the US and the world going through the same thing, and they have to have an appointment too... It's not just us. You have the CR-1s and IR-1s and K-1s and K-3s and HB-1s and F-1s... the list goes on. There's been people waiting for decades, years!
Ya, it's no damn fun to sit here and watch people with NOA1/NOA2/NVC dates before ours zip through the system and be with their spouses and come and tell us how grand life is. It's all sunshine and cupcakes and sprinkles! Wish you were here! It made me mad, jealous and down right pissed off when I was watching people from September go to interviews while we sat in CSC. In a perfect world it would be first come, first serve, here's your visa, have a nice day. Unfortunately we're not living in a perfect world.
There's my .2 cents on the whole thing.. take it or leave it.

First everyone needs to quit comparing the K-1s to CR-1s. Total different ball game. K-1 and K-3 (mostly defunct) are non-immigrant visas. Yes, they get an approval a little quicker, yes, they get through NVC in a few days, yes, they seem to get interviews faster. Once they get here, they have three to five months more wait for their green card. Their visas are substantially more than a CR-1. CR-1's POE, have their temporary green card in their passport, get a SSN in a few days and are ready to take on their new life.
K-1 and K-3ers still live in limbo, even after everything. If they don't have their ducks in a row and have all the evidence and the I-864, it's all for nothing. They can't get a job, they can't volunteer, they can't get a driver's license in most states.. it's sit around and wait, wait, wait. Just like all of us are doing now, the only perk, they get to spend it with their significant other. How much fun would that be after six months of sitting on the couch watching the world go by. There's a reason money and jobs were invented, so you can spend 8 hours a day away from each other!
The big, bad US government isn't out to get anyone. Yes, it's a good joke of mine, but I don't think anyone employed by Uncle Sam is monitoring what I do or when I do it. When you send in that I-130 it's a ####### shoot. You go to one of two service centers. California being notoriously slow, or Vermont being faster. You don't know where you'll end up! Once there, you don't know who's desk you're going to end up on.
Suzy Q. might not be as fast at hammering out petitions as Johnny B. Or Suzy Q. has a lot of petitions from high fraud countries that take extensive work, you might be at the bottom of the pile. Johnny B. might not be even reading anything and just rubber stamping stuff as it goes through. Everyone has heard the stories about getting to the Embassy/Consulate and being denied because of something USCIS should have caught. Or even being denied at POE because everyone dropped the ball. Hell, our petition was LOST! I have no doubt we would still be in California in a USCIS black hole if it wasn't for my congressman lighting a fire under their butts. The US Government is highly inefficient, but not out to ruin someone's life just for the kicks of it.
There's probably been dozens of people over the years on VJ making spread sheets and mining data, crunching numbers to figure the system out. No one's been able to crack the holy immigration code.
Maybe some Embassies/Consulates really do stick to the first two weeks of the month rule, maybe not. Maybe there's thousands of other people all around the US and the world going through the same thing, and they have to have an appointment too... It's not just us. You have the CR-1s and IR-1s and K-1s and K-3s and HB-1s and F-1s... the list goes on. There's been people waiting for decades, years!
Ya, it's no damn fun to sit here and watch people with NOA1/NOA2/NVC dates before ours zip through the system and be with their spouses and come and tell us how grand life is. It's all sunshine and cupcakes and sprinkles! Wish you were here! It made me mad, jealous and down right pissed off when I was watching people from September go to interviews while we sat in CSC. In a perfect world it would be first come, first serve, here's your visa, have a nice day. Unfortunately we're not living in a perfect world.
There's my .2 cents on the whole thing.. take it or leave it.

That is really good news

But - you could learn the whole story.
It's easy to do - just study ALL of her prior posts, you'll find the whole story interspersed across her basic questions.

Everything's gone wrong since Canada came along!

IMO you should just stop counting who pays for what. You're married now, it doesn't matter at all. Whoever has money available can use it for immigration related expenses. It all comes from the same pot, tracking everything is just going to cause argument.
As for having him pay the fees at NVC stage, well, you can only pay using a US based bank account so I don't see how he could make the payment.
There's no "favor" to be done and returned, your expense are made for a common goal!

RKK, I have been reading your posts for a while now but I never really felt the need to reply because you are already getting wonderful advice from everyone else here. As a 3rd person, who has heard only your side of the story, here are the Red Flags I have observed so far:
1) You felt like he pushed you towards a commitment too fast and you felt uneasy about that. For crying out loud, he had to ask you 30 times before you said yes!!!! As a woman, you need to learn to trust your intuitions. If you have a gut feeling that something is not right, don't try to explain it away. You have no regrets now, but remember that you are still in the honeymoon phase. Of course everything is hunky dory when you go to visit him because you guys are going to be on your best behavior because it is another mini-honeymoon. And I strongly believe that this is not cultural. My Indian parents dated for 11 years before they got married, and this was back in the 70's. I know several Indian people who dated for many many years or had extended engagements and did not rush into marriage just because their parents approved and the stars aligned the right way.
2) You feel like he is too clingy and that makes you feel uncomfortable. Again, listen to your gut.
3)He holds grudges. This means that your fights never get resolved. It just gets buried till the next big fight for it to rear it's ugly head. Big no no.
4) He feels like he is being enslaved. This is a very dangerous feeling because whether his feelings are justified or not, he will eventually try to break free from his "enslavement". His feelings might not seem logical to you, but those are his feelings and they are quite real to him.
5) "But he loves me and treats me better than anyone else has in the past!" As a previous poster mentioned, love is not enough to hold a relationship together. The person who coined the phrase "love conquers all" needs to have their head examined.
6) He uses guilt to get his way with you. This is extremely manipulative, and normal people do not do things like that.
7) He has no qualms about changing the rules of the game whenever it suits him. This is called Bait & Switch, and I don't see how you can trust a person like that. Keep in mind, people change and grow as they become older & wiser. But it is a serious red flag where he will tell you one thing and change his mind a few days/months later when he decides that it is not in HIS (not yours & not both of you as a couple, but only his) best interests. I remember you commenting in your previous thread about his parents visiting that he agreed to you at first knowing that he can get you to change your mind after the wedding. Again, this is super manipulative.
8) He gets depressed & cries when his friends remind him that he got no dowry from your family. Seriously.. yuck. Read between the lines, he is marrying up and makes no balls about it. On top of that, he gets sad that he is not getting more out of this marriage?
9) Entitlement issues. I dont understand this.. You owe his family a car because your dad bought you one, and now he needs to get his family one to help them to keep up with the Jones? I honestly can't believe a grown adult man would say something like this to his wife. You owe him NOTHING. Even if he had to sell his left kidney to be with you, it does not entitle him to send you into more debt. As someone who has been paying student loans for 3 years now and still have not made a dent, I can tell you that you will end up resenting him for this later on. Trust me RKK, my loans are not nearly as bad as yours but it is extremely frustrating to see the balance inching down at a snail's pace.
10) ME ME ME ME ME: This whole saga seems like how it is always about his ego & his need to help his family rather than your needs or even his parents needs (unless they are secretly demanding he does all this behind your back).
These are just a couple of points I see aside from the most obvious things that everyone else has mentioned. Only you can decide how much you will put up. His family & friends might tell you how lucky you are to marry him, but remember only you get to see a side of him that nobody else does. Only you can decide what is best for you in the long run.
Edited for Grammar.

Hi, I have read many of your posts and I felt compelled to reply today.
I hope my response comes across as helpful and I am in no way condemning you or your feelings, just putting across my point of view from the limited scope of your relationship that I have from reading your posts.
You seem to be placing all the blame on your husband for the problems you are having.
In my humble opinion, you should have discussed your issues while you were together instead of setting them aside, it is much easier to deal with things together face to face. I always take the view point that you cannot sort out a problem within a relationship on your own, many may disagree, but how can you realistically fix something with two parts by only utilizing one?
I think the main issue here is your cultural differences and they really need to be discussed. Your life and your husband's life are very different; the relationships within a family unit are different and the cultural expectations re: marriage are clearly different.It seems to me these are things you should have discussed before your marriage (but hindsight is always 20/20).
You want one thing and your husband wants another. You are disagreeing on fundamental things in regards to marriage. Regardless of who is right or wrong having views which are so clearly polar opposites can make for a very copasetic relationship, especially considering the fact you do not seem to work through the disagreement (this action needs to stop in my opinion).
Here are some things I feel you should do:
firstly, if I were you I would put myself in my husbands shoes and I would ask him to do the same.
I know you have done "the budgets", but how about asking him to do one and ask him how much he feels you can realistically send back to India after he has done some projections?
Consider your husbands role in his family unit, is he the provider? Is that how it is always been? If the roles were reversed how would you feel? Are you taking the provider away and potentionally leaving the family without(regardless of whether his brother could support the family or not, how does the dynamic work now)?
Ask your husband how he wants things to work once he is in the US? Does he feel you should keep seperate bank accounts, or roll everything in jointly? Does he want his things and his and yours are yours? If he wants everything seperate, does he understand he would be putting himself through law school?
Your husband and yourself and both making huge changes an sacrifices to be together, but he is leaving everything for you. Regardless of whether his quality of life may be better in America, leaving what you know is hard. Apart from the normal stress of moving to a different country that he is not familiar with your husband is leaving his family, a family that from your posts have stated that he supports. Your husband may feel guilt or regret and he may be being pressured from his family, have you asked? Your husband's loyalties lie not only with you and what you want but with his family aswell and from my limited knowlege in Indian culture (I have a few work colleagues) family is of the utmost importance and the son's generally help support the family.
Talk, talk, talk and talk some more BUT more importantly listen!
Ultimately, if your differences are too great or you are not able to settle your issues before he comes to live with you, then having him in the US could do more harm than good.
Please spend this time during your visa process to figure out if this is what you really want, if you can your husband can make it work despite your differences. It could be a lot worse if your husband got here and nothing was resolved.

I had a dream the other night that my husband's interview was May 3rd! Hopefully your wife and I both turn out to be psychic

Saylin i got my Iv invoice!!!!Im so Happy

I just got off the phone with NVC, the CASE IS COMPLETE yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Holy crow, that was the coolest thing EVAR! I was looking over your spread sheet and watched you add the dates lol! talk about real time updating!!

WooooHooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :dance: :star: yesyesyesyesyes!!!!!
I called and my CASE IS CLOSED!!!!!!
I asked for any updates on our cases and he told me they were waiting to schedule our interview in Stockholm!! So I had to ask him if that meant both cases were closed And his answer "They sure are mam" were the sweetest words I've heard in a long time

Just got a case number!!!!!!!!!!! Now I can enjoy the weekend

Hehehe we won't have that luxury. There's gonna be four kidlets begging for his attention too! ... oh and the dog.. mustn't forget Tiger. He'll go just as crazy when Trent gets home as the kids.

AOS packet accepted !! Wont be able to send out IV packet until Tuesday. Its great to be moving along!!!

My step-daughters IV bill now shows paid. I'm off to the post office to send off the IV packages via express mail.

SIF (after sending in packages) used to be an indication of case complete. But, as of a few months now, this isn't happening as often (or at all) like it used to. Now, the only way to know of case complete (if non-EP) is through calling an operator.
I'd say call! You could have a CC and not even know it!

Finally received the IV fee invoiced...just paid! woo woo! Almost there. I plan to send docs out tomorrow!

Just received an email from NVC with an Invoice for the IV for my step-daughter. Just paid the $404 fee. Hoping it shows up as paid tomorrow and then I will send off the DS-230 with supporting documents via Express mail Friday afternoon or Saturday morning.
Hoping for case complete next week. Then find out about my interview the week after that. An interview in early May would be great!

I'd prefer a babydoll cut if at all possible. They look more flattering
And I'll be waiting for that PM

So true
Duh!

I made my husband bring a huge, and I mean huuuuge, bag filled with shoes back to the US with him last time he was here When we do move over hubby promised to buy me new stuff if I promised to throw away as much as possible lol. Now my son is another matter though, we've promised him he can bring with him whatever he wants, I want him to feel at home when we get there so I'm sure we gonna send over quite a few boxes

He has to claim his children even if he does not claim them on his income tax. They only reason for not claiming all children is if parental rights are terminated.
He should write a statement as to why he does not file taxes and include the IRS tax code. Then all he will need to submit are the statements from Social Security stating what his monthly income is.