jenkatx

Lagos is starting to recognize VJ as the handbook for fraud and anyone that too exactly follows the oft posted Nigerian fraudsters checklist will probably be subject to to closer examination and legit couples may be the victim of the fraudsters that have made such good use of this site. It is sad that Lagos has such a hard time getting it right.

Sorry this happened to you...and sorry that some people on here throw their two cents in without an ounce of compassion...I hate online gangsters, especially the ones that wont dare to show their picture! I don't blame them though because VJ allows them to bully people that are already feeling down and they reward them with 'platinum status' which they accept proudly as if it's getting them a free room upgrade somewhere. ANYHOW...I went thru something so similar as you, in fact as I was reading it...I had to ask myself if you were somehow married to my ex. lol. I know you are feeling like you wasted so much time and money..I know you are emotionally spent, angry, hurt and confused. I felt all those things when my ex did it to me. I was embarrassed and ashamed! As for you staying and continuing on with the relationship even though you knew something was wrong from the start, don't beat yourself up over that. People do it everyday...for the kids, for finances, etc. My ex came here on a fiancé visa and before he even got here, I felt something was not right but I still went ahead with everything because I felt like if I didn't I'd be letting him and his whole family down. So I convinced myself that everything was fine instead of listening to my gut instinct. You feel like you invest so much to give in, so you just keep going praying for something to turn around. Well, it didn't...in both our cases. But I can tell you, it's not worth dealing with him anymore. Whatever is going to happen with his immigration situation is going to happen with or without you. My ex got to stay cuz he had the nerve to say I put him out and filed that VAWA or whatever it's called. I was so mad at first and all I wanted to do was fight fight fight for my name not to be dragged thru the mud. But at the end of the day, I realized he wasn't worth it. My best advice to you is just let it all go. You moved out of the house and that is a good start. You reported to the right people already that you are no longer with him and that is all you can do. The system does not work in our favor at times and I had to learn to accept that. The best thing I did for myself was to move on and close that chapter in my life. You say you are single with no child...but it's actually better you didn't have a child with him right? You will find someone one day that is worth all the things you do for him....who will appreciate all the things you do for him. Anything that a man sows, he reaps. He'll get his one day! Its been 5 years since my ex formed up his argument and walked out the door. To this day he is single, still trolling dating sites online and working in a factory just to have everyone back home stretching their hand out to be fed. I, on the other hand, am prosperous, happy and married! Every dog has his day, and he will surely have his!

Thank you for rubbing salt on my wounds. I pray no one close to you have the same experience I had. God bless you.

A quick DNA collection for my boys in the morning! I'm much more calm than I was at interview a few weeks ago! hahaha
GOOD LUCK TO THOSE WITH INTERVIEWS THIS WEEK!!!

I think the first Tier people are the same ones I talk to when my internet goes down.

I tell you, I hope some of us dont go crazy at the end of this journey I just got off the phone with hubby. I could not sleep after my post so called him couple of hours ago. I started rambling about how we should proceed to get the passport: he has to fly to abuja ( the state capital) to do this with court affidavit and police report). I was asking if his contact in our current city might be of help. he let me go on and on for few minutes and said "I dnt mean to interrupt but can I say something"?... I kept quiet and he went on : 'so you mean you did not hear the end of what i said yesterday?" he said when I asked him if he had the passport with him during the attack, he said yes he was taking it to his pastor to pray over after he is done with the day's activities but when the robbers asked him to give up the envelop he had, he informed them that it just contained papers so they took it and threw away on the street. After they rough handled him at gun point and went away with other valuables as mentioned, he went and picked up the envelop with the passport and documents. A good samaritan passing by also gave him some money right there .
I felt very foolish :bonk: :bonk: :bonk: :bonk: :bonk: but still thankful at the outcome . i had to come back here to let readers know this.
the moderators should feel free to delete the post if they want since the reason why i posted is no longer valid. unless my premature act of panic will help someone else relax from their stress.
I just bless readers in these forums who are always ready to comfort and encourage. Thnks everyone.

And you see the question was asked but no one paid attention to your answer. Of course it is a scam he is from Nigeria I hate that attitude ... Let me tell you something money is not something that comes easy in Nigeria and actions do speak much louder than words. If this man is sending you money to be with him or to pay for part of the process then he is serious about being with you. That is a big action for him. As far as talking about himself you have to ask specific things if you want to know something because they are not in the habit of talking about things that they see as not important and what happened at work during the day is not very important it is the same thing that happened they day before. Now you say that you talk for free so I am not sure what you are using to communicate but also keep in mind the time difference. I am in EST so there is a 6 hour time difference between us so if he is working and going to school and staying up late or getting up early to talk to you even 5 minutes he is making an effort. The problem with the forms may very well be the fact that he doesnt have all the money he needs to submit the forms so what is the hurry for the form if you dont have the money to submit. And if there is a reason he has to be sending you money than you need to look into sponsers because you have to earn enough to support 4 people if you have 2 children. My husband took 3 months to get everything gathered to file and the reason it got done is we walked through it together to fill out the forms some of the forms I filled out and sent to him and had him sign and send back. This is not a Nigerian thing this is a MALE thing (sorry guys) men will always put things off til tommorrow and like I said if he doesnt have the finances then that would explain his delay. However he is not going to tell you that is the reason he has pride and that will not allow him to do that. So weather or not he has someone else I really dont know but I would doubt it if he is helping to support you then you are his priority. Take this time to get to know him better. Instead of asking him if he really wants to be with you tell him you would like to spend more time getting to know him and would like to Skype or Oovoo or Yahoo or whatever you do to communicate. But sometimes you need to be the one up late and let him sleep and call you in the morning his time to talk to you. Make some consessions for each other. I told my husband I dont get to see him enough and he and I came up with some ideas on how to see each other more often maybe we dont see each other more than 1 or 2 hours a day but we will have the 5 minute phone calls and we both have a blackberry so we message each other all the time. But out of all of this my biggest concern is when you said he doesnt make me happy. If that is the case than maybe you should exam this relationship a little harder before you push for him to spend the money on an applications that you may not really want to file. I wish you both the best of luck on your journey but remember it is only going to get harder and things are going to happen that you dont understand or even believe it will test your love and faith in each other more than you know. If you come out of this together then you are both very lucky to have found one another.

Are you sending him money for various things? Sometimes they have no intentions of moving to America but will use you for your money. They will string you along for as long as they can. As soon as it gets close to interview or paperwork, they start acting funny.

There is an old expression " Actions speak louder than words". Please think about this.

I went to check the status of our AOS on USCIS website and what do you know? There was statement that a production of the card was ordered on January 17, 2013. No text or e mail even though we signed for it...but that doesn't matter anymore. It's been a long journey and I am gald everything worked out great. This has been a very good site for resources for any immigration concerns and thank you all my VJ friends for your support. For those still waiting, fear not yours will come very soon. You all stay blessed because God has been good to us

seeing it is only the 17th, I would wait until the 19th to ask if you can come pick it up. Seems like that is what they told you to begin with. Congratulations and good luck. Stay calm, I am sure it will be ready when they said.....19th
ALl the best

I swear, I have seen some big messes on this site caused by so called immigration lawyers. And cases that don't use lawyers, just advice from one to another, seem to have less problems. I agree about asking the lawyer exactly how and to who the alleged payment was made. It doesn't make sense.

wow what does fraud have to do with been in love miss!!!! .So if one is in love with someone from Nigeria they other is probably a fraud... people like you make me

He doesn't need VAWA, he can file to ROC after a divorce.
ICE might be interested in knowing that a GAY man married a straight US Citizen for immigration benefits.
A also believe working under the table to avoid paying taxes is a Federal Crime called TAX EVASION which ICE & USCIS don't appreciate an LPR doing.

I wonder how many States still allow you to have the basis of divorce as the other person having exited the closet.

Been meaning to bring up this article in this forum - interesting information about just this situation.
http://www.ilw.com/articles/2009,0924-lee.shtm
ETA quote from the article (which cites a USCIS memorandum), "The importance of the memorandum is to allow conditional permanent residents who are only separated or in divorce or annulment proceedings to timely file for a waiver based upon a bonafide yet terminated marriage by themselves without having to ask the U.S. citizen spouse to sign a joint petition, and to later provide evidence of final marriage termination upon receipt of a request for evidence from U.S.C.I.S. It also gives immigration service officers the authority to amend the basis of I-751 filing rather than making conditional permanent residents refile and pay new fees for another I-751. These are welcome changes."

If she starts the paperwork but doesn't finish the process she can hope he does get an interview. As long as the divorce is still in the works he can't use the waiver and he can't ROC based on the marriage if she doesn't go to the interview. The issue is many do NOT get an interview.

SHe might have better luck getting ICE's interest as they are the agency responsible for immigration and customs enforccement. She will probably get the " we can't talk to you " but if she sends a letter with whatever she has to support the relationship was less than honest they may be interested even if they don't tell her so. H-ll send copies to both of them and don't expect a direct response.

Just to add - if they are going to schedule you for an interview then it will be sent from NBC to your local office for scheduling and you would receive another update on the transfer. If not, then your case (barring any RFEs) will remain at NBC until you receive your greencard. Most people who file AOS based on a K-1 are approved without an interview.

Emerites has an office near LAX. You can just go in there and validate the credit card used.
The issue with changing airline stateside, if they are not a code share partner you will be looking at domestic baggage allowance/weights and your savings may vanish paying for the bags ( that is if you get out of Nigeria with anything left in the bags and not on relatives backs)

By His grace we have been given our visa. My fiance called me at 1:30am and yelled into the phone, "WE HAVE MADE IT!" Nothing feels better than this victory in which, the outcome could have gone any other way. I have been so worried, so sick with worry. Thank you to all fellow VJer's for your prayers, for your words of comfort, and for your FAITH. God has done this for us, we tried to help HIM as much as we could with preparation, but God had the final say and I am so thankful.

He did file the VAWA thing. that is the only way he could've stayed without doing the process with me. He just conveniently waited til we married to start all the BS. HE told them things like I kicked him out, etc etc. Which is sooo soo untrue. And why would immigration even beleive that stuff? I mean really, I waited for him for almost 2 years to get here and then I kick him out in a month? give me a break. it had fraud written all over it and our system is really messed up cuz they allow him to stay. And THIS is why it is so friggin hard for the GENUINE couples to get approved, cuz of people like him.

Hey girl i think you should go through the CR-1 process........
Good luck to whatever you decide to do

A K-1 is only valid for a year. They are known for holding it before sending it out so it will expire. I would advise filing a CR-1, or you could refile a K-1.

I am so sorry I know exactly how you feel. The CO also gave my husband a hard time about my ex. Our congressman wrote to the embassy and other departments, but we got conflicting reasons to why he was denied. He was handed a blank paper that just stated his case was being sent back. If you need to talk, I'm here for you. I will be home on Sunday. Keep your head up, they can't stop true love.