LoveNigarmostyle

In all honesty and with a bit of perspective and sense of history, the monies that you mention are a mere drop in the ocean compared to the mountains of treasure the UK robbed and extracted from said countries over a few centuries... And, ironically, it was virtually impossible to make THEM leave back in the day....
We have but one planet here to inhabit, and we desperately need to learn to get along! Compassion and perspective never hurt anyone...

How would you like to be presumed guilty until proven innocent, viewed with suspicion solely based on your nationality and forced to pay heavy fees for it? People are not statistics, they're human beings, just like you and me. Not chattel.

That's a really bad idea. If you do nothing then nothing will happen. I know it's tempting to not look a gift horse in the mouth, but established law says that USCIS errors, even if they are in your favour, are not valid.
If you fail to file RoC when you are meant to then you could wind up in immigration court with ICE attempting to deport you. It would not have been "god's will" that put you in that position, but instead your own inaction when you could have fixed the situations easily but chose not to.

Since it is documents and you want them to reach your fiance on time and be tracked. I would suggest FexEx or UPS. Although it is more expensive at least it is more reliable. I have used USPS as well and had no problems for things to reach my husband at all. But, because you want to make sure your docs get there safely and on time AND WE ARE DEALING WITH NIGERIA then I suggest unless you can ask someone who is traveling themselves to deliver them to your man, DO yourself a favor and send it in the safest way possible. Good luck!

NO WAHALA! this too shall pass! Soon you will be together. Your time is coming.

So sorry it is taking so long for your case. Just remind your wife that the finish line is closer today than it was yesterday. You two are almost there, just hang in there. Anyway, by the time your interview comes along the tickets will be cheaper and maybe our weather in LA would not be so hot...(wishful thinking?).
Glad at least your are progressing well. Just think of it this way, soon we will be welcoming "Gowoness" home at LAX

Thank you Ladies. It was with the help and support of good friends and sisters like you that we were able to stay focused and on track even on the hardest days. VJ is hellish at times and we all could get overwhelmed and discouraged BUT with friends like you it was doable when it seemed impossible. Thank you sooooo much from both of us for this heart warming message. What a blessing it is to read these sweet messages.
I am blessed to call you friends. It is our objective to continue to help and support the new members with our knowledge and experience, so we may assist them in their VJ. Both of you among other VJ members are angels among us. Caring and giving when needed to those who feel the pain, the sorrow and the heartache of being in VJ. Selflessly, you have taught so many here and elsewhere what you have learned through trials and errors.
Thank you. I am humbled by your friendship and kind words. Blessing and may you find happiness and peace in your individual VJ as well. <3

Thank you Ladies. It was with the help and support of good friends and sisters like you that we were able to stay focused and on track even on the hardest days. VJ is hellish at times and we all could get overwhelmed and discouraged BUT with friends like you it was doable when it seemed impossible. Thank you sooooo much from both of us for this heart warming message. What a blessing it is to read these sweet messages.
I am blessed to call you friends. It is our objective to continue to help and support the new members with our knowledge and experience, so we may assist them in their VJ. Both of you among other VJ members are angels among us. Caring and giving when needed to those who feel the pain, the sorrow and the heartache of being in VJ. Selflessly, you have taught so many here and elsewhere what you have learned through trials and errors.
Thank you. I am humbled by your friendship and kind words. Blessing and may you find happiness and peace in your individual VJ as well. <3

Amen Amen. let me jump on this love boat.
You have been an inspiration and a light that pulled me out and gave me hope. You have helped me through alot and we been through alot and still remain.
I am so overjoyed happy and grateful to God for blessing you. I am sure you have touched hubbies face a millioj times to make sure you aren't dreaming (Oh what a feeling of pure joy that must be).
All the very best are the best part of your lifetime journey.
Thank you for being there, praying and being a great example of strength and hope.

Lovenigarmostyle.......my friend and sista !
A big happy dance for your hubby's approval after 4 long years of this journey.
You fought and kept it real all those years and finally got your blessing on July 4th when he touched the ground ! Imagine you went out with a
bang....July 4th....lolzzz. You both never gave up on your love.

I am thrilled beyond words to see you together now. To look at him every morning and ask "Are you really here ?" to having to pinch yourself
to believe that your journey is finally over.
All the tears, all the difficulties and stress and strains that this journey causes was worth it all.
May you live happy as can be and I know you both will. It has been a wonderful friendship with you and
I appreciate your help and encouragement and always being there for me. When I feel like and and not to forget like
and and you have been there my dearest friend and bring a to my face and make me almost pee my pants doing this .
You are an awesome lady and deserve the best and now you enjoy each other !
Love from all my heart to both of you

Dude I would honestly get the hell out of that right now. If you are caught doing that, you could face time in prison.
Just tell her its off and cut your losses. Or go to prison and start a business with a guy named Brick,+

On another ANGRIER note. Its because of people like you doing like this that honest, real couples who are in love (aka me and my husband) have had to live in near poverty because the government makes such tight guidelines.
so eff you.

Congratulations ! So happy for you both. Welcome back home !

Wonderfully said, as tears flow.... Congrats to a beautiful, spiritually bonded well deserved couple. You did it!!! Praise God. We were there for the wedding 9ja side pray to be there for the renewal Caliside hugs! And congrats again, hurry home... Wow! Wow! Wow! As we always say, no time is better than Gods time! My tears of joy continue to flow...

Congratulations!!! It just goes to show patience and persistence is so important! After being denied the first time with the K1 it would've been easy to give up, but you didn't and it has now paid off and all the waiting and being separated is now a thing of the past.....enjoy your beautiful life together!!

I sent ours with post it and I wrote our number on the post it and used either stapler or a paper clip....LOL the CO returned most of my paper clips at the interview and I brought them home with me.

Go with both,use your Nigerian passport for you will save the $160 for visa if you use your US passport. When there send your wife in with both passports and your boarding passes. This way they have proof you are there. Good luck!

Glad she is okay! May your process complete soon with God's grace and blessings!

So sorry for your pain and heartbreak. Been there, done that, have the T-shirt. I know how you feel. Except in my case he never made it here because I cut it off
after I investigated him throughly because something felt off. I have been on these boards since 2005 when my first visa journey started and ended (under a different user name) and I have seen, heard and read a lot of stories like yours over the years. Yes, I took a big break from VJ after my first journey came to an abrupt halt but here I am again for a second try at real love. A bit wiser may I add.
None of us are promised the certainty of a successful outcome in a relationship, not even those who yell the loudest about " people don't want to see reality."
I have not seen the obnoxious posts and don't know who got thread banned but even they are not guaranteed an everlasting relationship.

Now it is true that some are oblivious to neon -sign- flashing- red- flags, but they are where they are in life's experience and it may not be the area where someone else has
attained growth and wisdom. They loved their fiances and spouses and though they made unwise choices ...don't we all at one time or another have made them in regards to relationships ? Unless you are 16 years old I believe most of us have been around the block a few times coming out scratching our heads and contemplating "what just happened." The finger pointers judging to the OP ....they have been there too. This is not their FIRST rodeo either. So what is all the fuss they make ?

You had a short online dating time due to him coming here after only 6 months. He was able to keep his game going and if it would have taken longer you
would have eventually seen more inconsistencies, not many have the energy to keep the game going for more than a couple of years and their efforts they initially
put into the relationship will fade away and die.
I appreciate your post and what I get from it is that if anyone has a nagging feeling that something does not feel right then they should get out of it.
Personally I prefer to investigate and find out for myself before reaching that conclusion.
I have firm boundaries to begin with. They are rough and tough but neccessary in an online relationship in my opinion. Still no guarantees......but a good guideline. My advice is never settle for less than what you want. You can't change people, if a guy is acting up now he will continue or do worse after he gets here.
No one here should drop their fiance/spouse due to just reading about relationships gone bad from others and I know that is not the intention of this topic.
We all are too uniquely entwined with our individual SO's to make comparisons to someone else's bad ending.
I see the comments about "no one will listen while in their bliss" blah blah....well do these same posters listen and drop their SO's ? Of course not.
What makes these posters so arrogant to say that anyway ? Do they feel exempt from a potential failure down the yellow brick road they are currently skipping on ? It may not have hit them yet and it may not ever hit them. Time will tell but that does not give them the right to point fingers and other countries are not exempt either.
What would be helpful is a list of inconsistencies that would cause someone to think twice about going forward.
Keep in mind that what may be a red flag for one is not neccessarily a red flag for another. People aren't made out of molds and have different personalities and preferences.
Though a pattern of "games" emerges, it is still not as simple to say he does this and that and therefore must be a scammer.
Generalizations and stereotypical judgements are silly. No one outside of your relationship knows your man/woman better than you (unless someone steps forward
and tells you otherwise as an eye witness.)
Be creative in testing, investigating and let him/her earn your trust little by little, which really goes for any relationship.

Here are a few red flags I can think of:
1. Calls in the middle of the night aren't answered. Ever.
2. Long periods of not checking in like couples do, a pattern of unexplained "where the hell is he" often emerges. Set your own mutual preference time.
3. Sudden deviation from the usual routine.
4. Constant asking for gifts and money.
5. Strange background noises during a phone or web cam conversation that make you wonder....
6. Refusal of PW sharing and social network and email accounts transparency (Negotiate personal preference. )
7. Too many FB friends of the opposite sex are added and make you go WTH who are those people ?
8. Refusal to web cam.
9.No genuine interest and heartfelt sharing about the little things in his/her daily routine. He/she couldn't care less about how your day went.
10. Having the feeling of not being treated as a priority but on the bottom of the barrel with the pond scum.

These are just a few and we all have different flag alerts so please add your own so someone may be able to look deeper into things now while their SO's are still over there
and before they take that final step.
It is early on that this must be done and the ground work and boundaries must be cemented firmly, through negotiation if you will, in full diclosure and transparency and
without lies.
Again....it does not mean that he/she is definitely a player/gamer/scammer if some points apply but it should perhaps cause you to look deeper and re evaluate your
needs in a relationship. Respect and value yourself and set limits. It is ok to have zero tolerance for certain things that go against your grain.
If it does not happen now....it won't happen later ! Now is the time to step out of yourself and take a realistic look at your relationship.
Are your boundaries often overstepped ? Reinforce them or leave is my advice.

When it is over the ending is a new beginning. Soon you will feel lighter and regain new perspective and strength. Time will heal and the longer you have cut everything off with him the easier it gets. Staying in contact and texting because he does not want to answer his phone is something I advise you to stop. What is there to talk about now ?
I actually thank God for unanswered prayer, truly I do. God knows best. Remember the best is yet to come, really it is. Love yourself and enjoy your freedom, it is exciting to think about all the interesting people who will come into your life now that you are single and ready to explore new relationships. It is going to be ok.
God bless

You wish to propose to the OP? In all honesty, is best done privately, not in open forum.

Sorry this happened to you...and sorry that some people on here throw their two cents in without an ounce of compassion...I hate online gangsters, especially the ones that wont dare to show their picture! I don't blame them though because VJ allows them to bully people that are already feeling down and they reward them with 'platinum status' which they accept proudly as if it's getting them a free room upgrade somewhere. ANYHOW...I went thru something so similar as you, in fact as I was reading it...I had to ask myself if you were somehow married to my ex. lol. I know you are feeling like you wasted so much time and money..I know you are emotionally spent, angry, hurt and confused. I felt all those things when my ex did it to me. I was embarrassed and ashamed! As for you staying and continuing on with the relationship even though you knew something was wrong from the start, don't beat yourself up over that. People do it everyday...for the kids, for finances, etc. My ex came here on a fiancé visa and before he even got here, I felt something was not right but I still went ahead with everything because I felt like if I didn't I'd be letting him and his whole family down. So I convinced myself that everything was fine instead of listening to my gut instinct. You feel like you invest so much to give in, so you just keep going praying for something to turn around. Well, it didn't...in both our cases. But I can tell you, it's not worth dealing with him anymore. Whatever is going to happen with his immigration situation is going to happen with or without you. My ex got to stay cuz he had the nerve to say I put him out and filed that VAWA or whatever it's called. I was so mad at first and all I wanted to do was fight fight fight for my name not to be dragged thru the mud. But at the end of the day, I realized he wasn't worth it. My best advice to you is just let it all go. You moved out of the house and that is a good start. You reported to the right people already that you are no longer with him and that is all you can do. The system does not work in our favor at times and I had to learn to accept that. The best thing I did for myself was to move on and close that chapter in my life. You say you are single with no child...but it's actually better you didn't have a child with him right? You will find someone one day that is worth all the things you do for him....who will appreciate all the things you do for him. Anything that a man sows, he reaps. He'll get his one day! Its been 5 years since my ex formed up his argument and walked out the door. To this day he is single, still trolling dating sites online and working in a factory just to have everyone back home stretching their hand out to be fed. I, on the other hand, am prosperous, happy and married! Every dog has his day, and he will surely have his!

Debbie, when you were swooning could anyone have steered you right? A lot of people on here come back with remorse like you have, and admit they ignored glaring red flags until it was too late. I find that very sad, but any effort to tell them to "be careful" or "listen to your gut" when those red flags can be seen from across the internet is never met warmly.

It would be most appropriate to respect the VJ members, who have more experience and knowledge in this visa journey even though you might think you have ALL the facts right which might not make sense to those who are more experienced. I have not heard of what you are saying either.
USCIS approves petitions doesn't give visas. Petitions then are sent to NVC for further processing. Once the petition is completed then it's forwarded to Nigeria or any country in question. The visa is ready to be issued but the CO has the final say if he does or doesn't give out the visa to the spouse or the fiance.
If you got a visa at the USCIS level? then why go through the interview process? I believe no one is trying to bring you down, it is just that this VJ can be difficult and confusing. We all have been there and done that. It is very important to keep your cool and open mind for we are here to help not make it more difficult or negative. But you have to understand that a valid point is being made here.
Best of luck to you and please keep in mind we are here to help and not judge. God bless you too! Good luck!

Welcome to VJ. Please keep in mind you are dealing with one of the toughest Embassies in the world. You can't file for either one of the petitions without seeing your fiance first. Read the requirements please. If you can't visit your man for economic reasons. Let me tell you this VJ is not a cheap one, you will need to have some capital to go forth. There is a lot of expenses ahead you should be aware of such as traveling there, hotel and food expenses and gifts. This is beside fees associated with filing the petition, getting visa to Nigeria and etc.
It is recommended for you to visit few times first to get an idea what awaits for you ahead. Chatting with your loved one on fb or via yahoo is not the same as spending time with him face to face. With Nigeria you and your fiance need to prove that you are a couple this means the family, friends and neighbors need to co mingle with you and with him as well. Pictures and spending time with him beyond a week is a must.
In any process, time is of essence. I don't want to discourage you but I want to enlighten you about the difficulties ahead. Most people take about two years from start to finish to be together. It is difficult to have this long distant relationship and make it work from a far. TWO need to be committed and in it for the long haul.
If you are not able to travel due to health reasons, I would say it might be a good idea for you to contact and have a consultation with an immigration attorney for advice.
Since you are in the early stages, I would suggest first decide which petition you should file. Specially If you have many red flags such as age, religion, being over the child bearing years, race and etc.
If your man is Muslim, there are guidelines about you being with him physically and alone if you are not married, but I have not heard about meeting before a the month before marriage rule.
If you are to be married you will need to study a little about his religion and their ways. You could have an engagement with the Imam present and he would do the ceremony, which allows you to be with your fiance in person and be with his family and within his friends, but this ceremony is considered engagement until you consummate the marriage.
All in all, it is advisable for you to make the trip and see for yourself what is like to be among his surroundings, his culture, food, friends, family and his ways. Living in the USA is so different.
Good luck and I hope you study VJ and take time to learn as much as possible as to what it takes to start and finish this journey.

Welcome to VJ. Please keep in mind you are dealing with one of the toughest Embassies in the world. You can't file for either one of the petitions without seeing your fiance first. Read the requirements please. If you can't visit your man for economic reasons. Let me tell you this VJ is not a cheap one, you will need to have some capital to go forth. There is a lot of expenses ahead you should be aware of such as traveling there, hotel and food expenses and gifts. This is beside fees associated with filing the petition, getting visa to Nigeria and etc.
It is recommended for you to visit few times first to get an idea what awaits for you ahead. Chatting with your loved one on fb or via yahoo is not the same as spending time with him face to face. With Nigeria you and your fiance need to prove that you are a couple this means the family, friends and neighbors need to co mingle with you and with him as well. Pictures and spending time with him beyond a week is a must.
In any process, time is of essence. I don't want to discourage you but I want to enlighten you about the difficulties ahead. Most people take about two years from start to finish to be together. It is difficult to have this long distant relationship and make it work from a far. TWO need to be committed and in it for the long haul.
If you are not able to travel due to health reasons, I would say it might be a good idea for you to contact and have a consultation with an immigration attorney for advice.
Since you are in the early stages, I would suggest first decide which petition you should file. Specially If you have many red flags such as age, religion, being over the child bearing years, race and etc.
If your man is Muslim, there are guidelines about you being with him physically and alone if you are not married, but I have not heard about meeting before a the month before marriage rule.
If you are to be married you will need to study a little about his religion and their ways. You could have an engagement with the Imam present and he would do the ceremony, which allows you to be with your fiance in person and be with his family and within his friends, but this ceremony is considered engagement until you consummate the marriage.
All in all, it is advisable for you to make the trip and see for yourself what is like to be among his surroundings, his culture, food, friends, family and his ways. Living in the USA is so different.
Good luck and I hope you study VJ and take time to learn as much as possible as to what it takes to start and finish this journey.

Welcome to VJ. Please keep in mind you are dealing with one of the toughest Embassies in the world. You can't file for either one of the petitions without seeing your fiance first. Read the requirements please. If you can't visit your man for economic reasons. Let me tell you this VJ is not a cheap one, you will need to have some capital to go forth. There is a lot of expenses ahead you should be aware of such as traveling there, hotel and food expenses and gifts. This is beside fees associated with filing the petition, getting visa to Nigeria and etc.
It is recommended for you to visit few times first to get an idea what awaits for you ahead. Chatting with your loved one on fb or via yahoo is not the same as spending time with him face to face. With Nigeria you and your fiance need to prove that you are a couple this means the family, friends and neighbors need to co mingle with you and with him as well. Pictures and spending time with him beyond a week is a must.
In any process, time is of essence. I don't want to discourage you but I want to enlighten you about the difficulties ahead. Most people take about two years from start to finish to be together. It is difficult to have this long distant relationship and make it work from a far. TWO need to be committed and in it for the long haul.
If you are not able to travel due to health reasons, I would say it might be a good idea for you to contact and have a consultation with an immigration attorney for advice.
Since you are in the early stages, I would suggest first decide which petition you should file. Specially If you have many red flags such as age, religion, being over the child bearing years, race and etc.
If your man is Muslim, there are guidelines about you being with him physically and alone if you are not married, but I have not heard about meeting before a the month before marriage rule.
If you are to be married you will need to study a little about his religion and their ways. You could have an engagement with the Imam present and he would do the ceremony, which allows you to be with your fiance in person and be with his family and within his friends, but this ceremony is considered engagement until you consummate the marriage.
All in all, it is advisable for you to make the trip and see for yourself what is like to be among his surroundings, his culture, food, friends, family and his ways. Living in the USA is so different.
Good luck and I hope you study VJ and take time to learn as much as possible as to what it takes to start and finish this journey.