Dear Abby: Computer Affair

[one...two...tree 2,762]

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Nancy," and I have been married 3 1/2 years. We've always had our differences -- our taste in music and movies, and the fact that she's a social butterfly and I'm not. But we've always been loving and had similar goals and interests in other areas of life.

About four months ago, Nancy met a guy on MySpace. He's from southern Oklahoma; she's from Dallas. They hit it off right away and are now self-declared "best buds." I don't doubt that they are just friends. However, he always says how much he "cares" for her. They spend many hours a day talking to each other on the computer. I have voiced my concerns, which have been met with stiff resistance.

Now my wife is planning a trip to Dallas -- where her parents live -- to spend a week with them and this guy that she met online. I don't think anything is going on now, but I suppose it could happen.

What really bothers me is the amount of time they spend on the computer and leaving messages for each other when they aren't both on. It leaves no time for our marriage. It also tells me that Nancy isn't getting what she needs from me or is bored with me because she makes the choice to continually talk with him instead.

I have already told her I want a divorce based on the premise that "If marriage is a flame, she is snuffing it out."

Is this a sound choice on my part? Doing this is very difficult, and it's just begun. And yes, I am filled with so much anger, frustration and rage that it's hard to hold on. -- HURT BEYOND WORDS, CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucda/20071022/lf_u...lmarriageeffect

[Jaseball 0]

So an online relationship is more important and satisfying to the woman in this situation than her husband. I don't know about other people, but with my partner, when she is engaged and happy she isn't going to spend that level of time or interest in an online situation.

Also, how many women would think that sort of situation would be ok and would not take issue if the roles were reversed? Very few.

Personally I hope I would recognize the problem and cut it off long before it got to the point for this guy, but if I somehow missed it and it was at this point I would go with my wife to Dallas to visit the inlaws. If she attempted to go meet this online guy I would go and introduce myself.

If my wife took issue, became evasive, I'd probably call friends to get references for divorce lawyers.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I feel like I'm walking in this strange nightmare.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I feel like I'm walking in this strange nightmare.

Sorry.

[Jasman0717 9]

Where is Dandy Don singing "Turn out the lights the party's over"

[archie07 0]

B.B. King, The Thrill Is Gone

[Kez/JWolf 6]

No one can say what they would or would not do in that situation until they have been there and done that.......

Kez

[Nessa 23]

Not only she's cheating on her husband online now she's meeting the guy, please..

[jrmach1 0]

HAVEN'T SEE ASKED YOU TO GO ON THE TRIP WITH HER? .FOR GOD'S SAKE THIS THINGS SOUND JUST INSANE

[♥JP♥ 5]

Given the simple fact that I met my husband online and it started out as "just friends" , I would say he is making a wise decision.

[Emancipation 2]

I believe in many ways emotional affairs are every bit as damaging as the more "physical" ones..

My father did a similar thing to my mother with very devastating results..

[JohnK 0]

While she is gone the poor guy needs to throw her stuff out on the lawn for her to collect when she gets back. And while he's at it, empty any joint accounts, cancel any joint credit cards, and change all the locks.

[sj5 4]

too much.. go get a lawyer.

[*JG* 2]

While she is gone the poor guy needs to throw her stuff out on the lawn for her to collect when she gets back. And while he's at it, empty any joint accounts, cancel any joint credit cards, and change all the locks.

obviously she's lonely and looking. Her parent's live there..........the new BF is there..........who's to say if she will even come back at all?

[♥JP♥ 5]

I read this entire thread and then saw that I had posted in it back in October. It was like reading new material!