Setting up the household before she arrives

[mox 298]

Over on this thread, 1HappyGuy had some great suggestions on how to prepare for the fiance's arrival. Picking up a hair blower and other "lady" stuff probably wouldn't have occurred to me.

Anyone else have suggestions on how they setup their household to get ready for her arrival? Any special "Russification" things I can do to make her feel more at home? I live in Monterey, CA, and unfortunately the closest Russian food store is (I think) in Santa Cruz, about 45 minutes away. But we do have a great farmer's market that she'll probably love. When we went to the market together in her home town she made me put back an apple I picked up because it was too big. "I think is too big because of chemicals" she said. Don't think she's gonna be too impressed with the produce section at Safeway.

[payxibka 10,044]

My opinion is that you can do the basics but it won't matter because no matter what you do won't be satisfactory and she will redo it HER way....

[natarussia 0]

Over on this thread, 1HappyGuy had some great suggestions on how to prepare for the fiance's arrival. Picking up a hair blower and other "lady" stuff probably wouldn't have occurred to me.

Anyone else have suggestions on how they setup their household to get ready for her arrival? Any special "Russification" things I can do to make her feel more at home? I live in Monterey, CA, and unfortunately the closest Russian food store is (I think) in Santa Cruz, about 45 minutes away. But we do have a great farmer's market that she'll probably love. When we went to the market together in her home town she made me put back an apple I picked up because it was too big. "I think is too big because of chemicals" she said. Don't think she's gonna be too impressed with the produce section at Safeway.

I can suggest you clean things you would never have thought of cleaning ... window treatments, screens, behind the refrigerator, under it too ... but the previous poster is right ... no matter what you do, it won't be good enough and she'll re-do it anyway - LOL ....

The customs people MAY confiscate her makeup ... so prepare for that just in case, get a hair dryer, a teapot, tea (black), iron, ironing board (prepare to have your underwear ironed if you're not used to that kind of thing) ... most importantly ... Do your share and more of the household tasks ... always. Keeping in mind of course to let her instruct you on how she wants it done. Once she is here, she is the boss of the house, and that's just how it will be. Oh and get her a phone card so she can call home ... PM me for a very inexpensiv method of calling (saves tons of money).

Good luck!!!!

Dwayne

[1HappyGuy 45]

Only a 45 minute drive to a Russian store, how great is that. I have 1 1/2 hour drive but we do it every couple of months to Sacramento. There is a large Russian/Ukrainian community in Sacramento of about 120,000. Cleaning is a great start because us guys usually live like pigs. That's why I painted much of the house. However, I left some rooms with old paint so that she could decide what color she would like. I wanted to have her feel the house was hers also. This past year we put in new carpeting (it was 9 year old carpet) and she picked out the colors. I know she's anxious to do more, but I'm trying to slow her down to budget the money.

The farmers market is a great place. You might look for bakeries that provide breads more in the European style too.

Probably one of the best things will be to find other "happily married" couples (Russian speaking & American) that you can become friends with. She will greatly miss speaking Russian so this can be a great assistance to relaxing her and enjoying her new life.

Get use to finding natural products without preservatives or chemicals. My wife insists on getting juice that is all natural, not from concentrate. Of course, that's more expensive. Just one of those things we pay a little more for in this country.

[slim 1,514]

Start saving as much money as possible. NOW!

Also, find something in the area for her to do outside of the home. She's going to have at least a few months where she can't work, so find her something interesting to do.

ESL Classes

Volunteer Work (Schools, Libraries, Pet Shelters, etc.)

Church/Civic Group Activities

Dance/Arts/Cooking/etc. Classes

Etc.

As previously mentined in the above posts, no matter what you do, she's going to set it up how she likes it and she's going to have to buy a whole bunch of "girly" stuff that you've probaby never even heard of. Shimmer-enhancing cold cream, anyone?

But, it's all in good fun, and it's almost like a big scavenger hunt!

[groovlstk 0]

Over on this thread, 1HappyGuy had some great suggestions on how to prepare for the fiance's arrival. Picking up a hair blower and other "lady" stuff probably wouldn't have occurred to me.

Anyone else have suggestions on how they setup their household to get ready for her arrival? Any special "Russification" things I can do to make her feel more at home? I live in Monterey, CA, and unfortunately the closest Russian food store is (I think) in Santa Cruz, about 45 minutes away. But we do have a great farmer's market that she'll probably love. When we went to the market together in her home town she made me put back an apple I picked up because it was too big. "I think is too big because of chemicals" she said. Don't think she's gonna be too impressed with the produce section at Safeway.

Clean, clean, clean and clean again, although she'll still likely come up with the equivalent of "you missed a spot" numerous times after she arrives and is settling in

You should also go through all your desk drawers, closets, etc., and remove ALL photos, correspondence, phone #s, etc. that relate to past girlfriends. Doesn't matter if you have a Valentine's Day card from your 7th grade admirer, believe me that stuff is just a ticking time bomb when it comes to Russian women.

Like posters above have written, don't invest anything in redecorating because she'll have her own ideas on how to make your place home. It will be one of her first real acts of laying claim to her new territory, she'll feel useful during a time when she's going to be extremely dependent upon you, and it will give you both a fresh start together.

As far as food, chances are even your best produce won't hold a candle to what was available at home. (And even if it does, it won't, if you catch my drift

Good luck!

[Nancy2015 2]

It's so funny to read all that - it looks like a lot of you guys are married to very traditional homemaker-type women I thought they were all extinct nowadays.

[Turboguy 6]

I am busy right now getting my place ready but my fiancee is not the typical homemaker type. I have to say if she walked in now she might go home since I have things all torn up putting some finishing touches on a kitchen remodel. I would be surprised if my gal spends the first week cleaning and redecorating. She is not much on cooking either. Still I will sweep most of the dirt under the carpet before she arrives.

She is a little different in a lot of ways. She doesn't like Russian food and likes ice cubes which I guess is not normal. She will be happy to have some AM-RW couples as friends but has no interest in looking up what little we have of RW living here.

[Jasman0717 8]

I tried that and she changed everything once she got here

[Thomas-n-Elena 0]

It's so funny to read all that - it looks like a lot of you guys are married to very traditional homemaker-type women I thought they were all extinct nowadays.

They are not extinct just yet, I think that Russian woman can be both traditional homemaker type and professional type working girl(not a working girl). My wife cant start her career until she goes back to school for a few years kind of a bummer but after the 1st of the year we are going to try to find her a job someplace nice.

[visceral image 0]

I just purchased a house for my fiancee and I today; first thing I will get is a small long table to put by the front door; under it will go shoes and on top some flowers, in the small drawers will go our keys and other items used every day.

[Jasman0717 8]

It's so funny to read all that - it looks like a lot of you guys are married to very traditional homemaker-type women I thought they were all extinct nowadays.

They aren't extinct in the Philippines

[slim 1,514]

I just purchased a house for my fiancee and I today; first thing I will get is a small long table to put by the front door; under it will go shoes and on top some flowers, in the small drawers will go our keys and other items used every day.

Get a few pairs of "tapochki" to put on when you swap out your "street shoes" and a small mirror for the doorway as well. And don't forget a welcome mat (big and sturdy bristles) for outside and a big soft carpet for inside.

Congrats on purchasing the new house. If I were you, I wouldn't buy too much stuff just yet. Let your fiancee help you choose everything. It will be fun for the two of you to do together, and it will ensure you don't mess up and buy the wrong things!

[visceral image 0]

I just purchased a house for my fiancee and I today; first thing I will get is a small long table to put by the front door; under it will go shoes and on top some flowers, in the small drawers will go our keys and other items used every day.

If I were you, I wouldn't buy too much stuff just yet. Let your fiancee help you choose everything. It will be fun for the two of you to do together, and it will ensure you don't mess up and buy the wrong things!

Slim

Not a problem, I only have a simple twin bed and no furniture; I had sold everything before I went to live in Russia. Maybe I will get a new queen bed and some used furniture but then we will get all new when she arrives.

[mox 298]

Great info everyone, thanks.

I live in an apartment, so fixing anything up isn't an option. Fortunately it's a pretty decent place, so no improvements necessary. I have gotten in the habit of removing my shoes when I enter the apartment, which is probably a good one to get into anyway. I'll probably hire someone to clean top to bottom just before she arrives too. The good news (for her) is that my selection of dishes, cookware, and furniture are modern bachelor, which is to say the furniture is from the curbside and dishes are from Goodwill, so I'm sure one of the first things we'll do is head out to let her pick out all new stuff.