Wife raped

[daveg 0]

Hi this is a very hard question for me to ask and a very terrible thing that happened in our relationship.

My Wife was raped and I really dont want to go into details of it of course ,and now she is pregnant from the guy. She did not report the rape because of threats made from the guy, and she was very scared.

I know she was really raped becuse after she went into details of it she broke down crying and I could tell she was telling me the truth. She is also a very shy sweet Pinay from the philippines and would not be in her character to cheat on me. We have been talking on cam and chat for 10 months now on average 6 to 7 hours a day almost so we also know each other very well. We also talk on the phone alot and messenger computer to computer call.

My question is will this affect her in the interview when she will try to get her visa to come here and finally be with me? As many know abortion in the philppines is illegal. She will have the baby a few months before the medical exam and interview but plans on telling them the truth if asked if she has a kid. Our worry is if they ask if it is ours, she will have to say no its from an other guy. And we are not sure if they will belive she was raped if she needs to tell them why it isnt from me? We just pray this wont affect us finally being together becuse we are in so much love and can't wait to be together like the so many other couples going through the same process.

If anyone can help I would apprecaiate it so much.

[Tanjay 0]

Hi this is a very hard question for me to ask and a very terrible thing that happened in our relationship.

My Wife was raped and I really dont want to go into details of it of course ,and now she is pregnant from the guy. She did not report the rape because of threats made from the guy, and she was very scared.

I know she was really raped becuse after she went into details of it she broke down crying and I could tell she was telling me the truth. She is also a very shy sweet Pinay from the philippines and would not be in her character to cheat on me. We have been talking on cam and chat for 10 months now on average 6 to 7 hours a day almost so we also know each other very well. We also talk on the phone alot and messenger computer to computer call.

My question is will this affect her in the interview when she will try to get her visa to come here and finally be with me? As many know abortion in the philppines is illegal. She will have the baby a few months before the medical exam and interview but plans on telling them the truth if asked if she has a kid. Our worry is if they ask if it is ours, she will have to say no its from an other guy. And we are not sure if they will belive she was raped if she needs to tell them why it isnt from me? We just pray this wont affect us finally being together becuse we are in so much love and can't wait to be together like the so many other couples going through the same process.

If anyone can help I would apprecaiate it so much.

You should report to the authorities immediately the man who raped her...That will help so much....They will provide her protection from him during prosecution....Good Luck....

[Ta Ta 1]

I suggest you be present at the interview and have a sworn statement from the doctor she hopefully went to see , attesting of the rape.

[Boiler 43,848]

What did you do after this happened?

Why did you not take her to the Authorities to report the rape?

[Dakine 26]

That's a TOUGH one.

Seen worse tho. My friend bought his fiancee to the US pregnant. Timing was fine for him being the father. Turned out 2 years later he wasn't pops! At least you know.

Abortion is illegal but there a still LOTS of abortions in the Philippines. I've no idea how safe they are tho. If she lives in a remote province probably not safe at all.

Your next big decision is what happens to the baby? Bring it with her?

Takes a good man to except the responsiblties that goes with what you will have to deal with.

At the same time my wife was widowed and has a child from her ex.

At first I was a bit apprehensive about her already having a child as I'm up there in age.

Ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me! I adopted her after she got here and we are VERY much a father a daughter team now. I care less that she isn't my blood and to her I'm "Daddy".

Hang in there and everything will work out for the positive. Tain't going to be easy tho.

[Jasman0717 8]

This is in the Philippines?

[rebeccajo 14]

When did you find out about the rape? After it happened?

[akatagirl 0]

Daveg,

I am so sorry that this happened to your wife and I know that many times women do not report this incident to the police or authorities immediately after this horrific event. As other vjers have mentioned, if it is possible for your wife to have some sort of proof from a doctor or from the authorities (if she now wishes to report the rape incident) to have documented proof of the cause of her pregnancy from another man this would probably help her out in the interview. You being there for the interview would look even better for her and if you cannot go there, then probably a letter from you to the embassy verifying your knowledge of this might be useful for the interview....Where your wife lives is there any sort of community agency where women who have been abused/raped can go?-This might be beneficial for your wife to seek out and join a place like this not only to possibly use them as a letter reference for the interview but also for her to get some counseling and get the help and support that she needs after experiencing such a traumatic event.

Good luck and hope all goes well on the interview and that your wife will recover from this traumatic experience and live safe and happily in love with you!

[Cry_Tuff 0]

I take it she is still in the Phillippines...and you are the USC....So why haven't you or she reported it ...despite the threats...she would get protection from the law..and if she knows the person, what more evidence would she need than that of the DNA of the baby. How long have you been married/separated from one another. Call me skeptical, and I apologize, but I feel there's a bit more to the story than what is being told.

[mox 298]

To those urging her to go to the police: I've been to PI, and can tell you that if she's saying the police won't protect her, then she knows what she's talking about.

Having said that...damn. My heart goes out to you both. I'm completely unequipped to offer advice of this nature, so let me just say that I'm a huge believer in karma. Best of luck to you all.

[Dakine 26]

As I said tough one!

As she is the wife of a USC you might consider reporting the rape to American Services at USEM. At least it will be recorded and may ease problems at the medical and interview.

Only problem is what they do with the report. May go to the police in her province and even to the Barangay Captain.

It's going to be public knowledge where ever she lives when she starts showing unless she moves.

Pinay love gossip especially if there is a American puti involved!

Just my 2 cents.

[daveg 0]

Daveg,

I am so sorry that this happened to your wife and I know that many times women do not report this incident to the police or authorities immediately after this horrific event. As other vjers have mentioned, if it is possible for your wife to have some sort of proof from a doctor or from the authorities (if she now wishes to report the rape incident) to have documented proof of the cause of her pregnancy from another man this would probably help her out in the interview. You being there for the interview would look even better for her and if you cannot go there, then probably a letter from you to the embassy verifying your knowledge of this might be useful for the interview....Where your wife lives is there any sort of community agency where women who have been abused/raped can go?-This might be beneficial for your wife to seek out and join a place like this not only to possibly use them as a letter reference for the interview but also for her to get some counseling and get the help and support that she needs after experiencing such a traumatic event.

Good luck and hope all goes well on the interview and that your wife will recover from this traumatic experience and live safe and happily in love with you!

Thanks so much for the support and help, I did tell her she should tell the doctor but she felt the doctor would not care why or how she got pregnant don't know why but wll talk to her today more about that and going to counsling center to.

[pushbrk 12,276]

Hi this is a very hard question for me to ask and a very terrible thing that happened in our relationship.

My Wife was raped and I really dont want to go into details of it of course ,and now she is pregnant from the guy. She did not report the rape because of threats made from the guy, and she was very scared.

I know she was really raped becuse after she went into details of it she broke down crying and I could tell she was telling me the truth. She is also a very shy sweet Pinay from the philippines and would not be in her character to cheat on me. We have been talking on cam and chat for 10 months now on average 6 to 7 hours a day almost so we also know each other very well. We also talk on the phone alot and messenger computer to computer call.

My question is will this affect her in the interview when she will try to get her visa to come here and finally be with me? As many know abortion in the philppines is illegal. She will have the baby a few months before the medical exam and interview but plans on telling them the truth if asked if she has a kid. Our worry is if they ask if it is ours, she will have to say no its from an other guy. And we are not sure if they will belive she was raped if she needs to tell them why it isnt from me? We just pray this wont affect us finally being together becuse we are in so much love and can't wait to be together like the so many other couples going through the same process.

If anyone can help I would apprecaiate it so much.

This is a rough situation. I'm sad either of you has to deal with it.

As for the practical issues, since your wife intends to disclose that a rapist, not her husband is the father of the child, you have some decisions to make and unless she puts the child up for adoption, some immigration issues to deal with. Since the child is not a child of a USC, it would be your step-child. Your timeline indicates CR1/IR1 so this means there is no I-130 filed for the child and, of course, can't be until it is born. This means the child will not be issued a CR2 visa until after an I-130 is approved, then gets through NVC and to Manila. This most likely means your wife won't be coming to the USA as quickly as you planned, unless she leaves the child behind.

Have you thought these things through yet?

[daveg 0]

Hi this is a very hard question for me to ask and a very terrible thing that happened in our relationship.

My Wife was raped and I really dont want to go into details of it of course ,and now she is pregnant from the guy. She did not report the rape because of threats made from the guy, and she was very scared.

I know she was really raped becuse after she went into details of it she broke down crying and I could tell she was telling me the truth. She is also a very shy sweet Pinay from the philippines and would not be in her character to cheat on me. We have been talking on cam and chat for 10 months now on average 6 to 7 hours a day almost so we also know each other very well. We also talk on the phone alot and messenger computer to computer call.

My question is will this affect her in the interview when she will try to get her visa to come here and finally be with me? As many know abortion in the philppines is illegal. She will have the baby a few months before the medical exam and interview but plans on telling them the truth if asked if she has a kid. Our worry is if they ask if it is ours, she will have to say no its from an other guy. And we are not sure if they will belive she was raped if she needs to tell them why it isnt from me? We just pray this wont affect us finally being together becuse we are in so much love and can't wait to be together like the so many other couples going through the same process.

If anyone can help I would apprecaiate it so much.

This is a rough situation. I'm sad either of you has to deal with it.

As for the practical issues, since your wife intends to disclose that a rapist, not her husband is the father of the child, you have some decisions to make and unless she puts the child up for adoption, some immigration issues to deal with. Since the child is not a child of a USC, it would be your step-child. Your timeline indicates CR1/IR1 so this means there is no I-130 filed for the child and, of course, can't be until it is born. This means the child will not be issued a CR2 visa until after an I-130 is approved, then gets through NVC and to Manila. This most likely means your wife won't be coming to the USA as quickly as you planned, unless she leaves the child behind.

Have you thought these things through yet?

Yes we have thought of this, but she knows the father and he is in Korea now and has been paying her medical bills and plans on taking care of the baby. All she wants is to make sure the baby is taken care of, it was rape, she was forced by a so called friend, she cries about it everyday still. She is such a sweet nice shy girl and it is so hard on her that this happened to her. We are just scared that in the interview they ask if the child is ours and when or if she has to say no will they belive her that she was forced to have sex?

[Dakine 26]

WOW! The rapist pays the medical bills?

Sorry but things don't add up.

The CO may have concerns about you/her having a bonafide loving marriage.