VAWA, Part 27

[waqasah 2]

8 hours ago, balo101 said:

you can marry after you get the green card. 

Thanks for clarification.

 

[TBoneTX 47,322]

Wednesday already?  Time for our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke:

===========================================
GRANDDAD AND GRANDSON

 

A granddad and his grandson were talking on the phone.

 

Granddad said, "Hey, Grandson -- your grandmother and I ate at a nice restaurant last night.  Thought you might want to take your girlfriend there."

 

Grandson said, "Sure, Granddad.  What's the name of it?"

 

Granddad paused, struggling with the name.

 

Grandson said, "Take your time, Granddad; it will come."

 

Granddad said, "Help me out here.  What's the name of that flower with the thorns on the stem... usually it's red?"

 

Grandson said, "A rose, Granddad -- it's a rose."

 

Granddad said thanks and turned his head around to the side.  "Hey, Rose!  What's the name of that restaurant where we ate last night?"

 

[God is a good God 238]

On 4/28/2025 at 3:11 PM, verozz123 said:

Hi,

I have a question people. Once you got your VAWA approved and you get your green card. Can you get married or you will have to wait for your citizenship? I heard there is a rule that you cannot get married while your VAWA is still being processed? Does it apply on the green card obtain by VAWA? 

Actually you can get married after your vawa is approved, even though your green card is pending. I remember asking the same question here. 

[verozz123 3]

16 hours ago, God is a good God said:

Actually you can get married after your vawa is approved, even though your green card is pending. I remember asking the same question here. 

Well so many different opinions. AND LAYWERS are also very divinded on that. Ahggh...Thanks for helping me out. 

Edited May 2 by verozz123

[TBoneTX 47,322]

Sunday means it's time for our Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke:

===========================================
FUNNY (?) ONES

 

My neighbor gave me a new roof for free.  Said it was on the house.

 

I was kidnapped by mimes.  They did unspeakable things to me.

 

"Look -- a flock of cows!"

"HERD of cows, Dad."

"Of course I've heard of them -- there's a flock of them over there!"

 

I used to work at a bank.  A lady said, "Can you check my balance?"  I pushed her and said, "Not good."

 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Car go.

Car go who?

No -- owl go who.  Car go vroooom.

 

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

 

Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?  Where you left it.

 

"I've booked an appointment to see a doctor."

"Which doctor?"

"No, just a regular one."

 

A man knocked on my door today, asking for donations for the local swimming pool.  I gave him a glass of water.

 

I renamed my toilet Jim instead of John.  People will be impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim every morning.

 

My kid is blaming me for ruining his birthday.  That's ridiculous -- I didn't even know that it was today!

 

Edited May 8 by TBoneTX

[Deee Smith 53]

13 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Sunday means it's time for our Official Weekly VAWA=Thread Joke:

===========================================
FUNNY (?) ONES

 

My neighbor gave me a new roof for free.  Said it was on the house.

 

I was kidnapped by mimes.  They did unspeakable things to me.

 

"Look -- a flock of cows!"

"HERD of cows, Dad."

"Of course I've heard of them -- there's a flock of them over there!"

 

I used to work at a bank.  A lady said, "Can you check my balance?"  I pushed her and said, "Not good."

 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Car go.

Car go who?

No -- owl go who.  Car go vroooom.

 

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

 

Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?  Where you left it.

 

"I've booked an appointment to see a doctor."

"Which doctor?"

"No, just a regular one."

 

A man knocked on my door today, asking for donations for the local swimming pool.  I gave him a glass of water.

 

I renamed my toilet Jim instead of John.  People will be impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim every morning.

 

My kid is blaming me for ruining his birthday.  That's ridiculous -- I didn't even know that it was today!

 

With all that's happening, these jokes are a solace. Thank you for consistently posting.

[TBoneTX 47,322]

35 minutes ago, Deee Smith said:

With all that's happening, these jokes are a solace. Thank you for consistently posting.

Go back, re-read, and upvote all that you failed to upvote previously, Deee ma'am!   

Even the Blonde jokes.   

[Deee Smith 53]

On 5/4/2025 at 3:02 PM, TBoneTX said:

Go back, re-read, and upvote all that you failed to upvote previously, Deee ma'am!   

Even the Blonde jokes.   

Side eye! Hahahahahahaha😀

[Deee Smith 53]

Little blonde rant triggered by T Bone.(not in a bad way).

 

Never really had a problem being called that man's 'trophy'. Actually romanticised it. Silly me! Saw only the good parts- attention, gifts, lots of attention. The attention became a curse and the gifts- a symbol of abuse. Every time there was a new gift, it was sure a tell that there had been abuse.

 

Years later, I am still wondering how the simple desire for a charming prince with eyes only for me, lead me to a monster who changed the course of my life forever! I can not wait to be rid of this particular proverbial gift that has kept on giving...

 

Rant over!

PS: No pity party please. I just needed to blow steam to people who I feel would understand without judgement. Just read and scroll. 

[TBoneTX 47,322]

16 hours ago, Deee Smith said:

blow steam

This reminds me of "steamed crabs" at buffet restaurants.  I always wonder, "What upset them so much?"

 

Diner:    Waiter!  Do you serve crabs here?

Waiter:   Why, yes, sir -- we serve anyone.   

[TBoneTX 47,322]

It's still Wednesday somewhere, so here is our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke:

===========================================
THE BLONDE AND THE THERMOS

 

A blonde went into a store and saw a shiny object on the shelf.

 

She asked the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"

 

The clerk replied, "That is a thermos."

 

The blonde then asked, "What does it do?"

 

The clerk responded, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."

 

The blonde said, "Oh!  I could use something like that!  I'll take it!"

 

The next day, as she walked into work with her new thermos, she saw her boss and showed off her shiny new thermos.  "I just got this yesterday.  Isn't it wonderful?  It's a thermos, and it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold!"

 

The boss asked, "So what do you have in it?"

 

The blonde replied, "Some coffee and a popsicle."

 

[TBoneTX 47,322]

It is Sunday, and therefore time for our Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke:

===========================================
THE SILENT FART

 

An old couple was sitting in church, and the wife noticed that people were staring at her.

 

She leaned across to her husband and whispered, "I just let go a silent fart.  What do you think I should do?"

 

He said, "I think you should put fresh batteries in your hearing aid."

 

[Ballerina 93]

Haven't been here in a while but wanted to drop by to encourage everyone still going through the process, especially under the currently administration. It is hard to quantify how much better my life has been since I got my green card and put all this behind me. Keep going, it will be worth it ❤️ 

[TBoneTX 47,322]

8 minutes ago, Ballerina said:

It is hard to quantify how much better my life has been since I got my green card and put all this behind me.

Glad to hear it.  Thanks for dropping back in!

[Meingandu 7]

On 5/2/2025 at 5:49 PM, verozz123 said:

Well so many different opinions. AND LAYWERS are also very divinded on that. Ahggh...Thanks for helping me out. 

How about if someone dont get married but have a kid with someone else?