I dunno what to do...

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Good thing he was calm, maybe if he had something big to hide, he'd get aggressive and he didn't. I'd definitely check out myspace to see if the story checks out, and what kind of messages she's been leaving for him there.

[Cantankerous 0]

...

he's been talking to this girl named Trina and he was telling her about how much fun he had with her on the past weekend(and the date on that mail was during me being in Hong Kong visiting my family)...and he also said that he would have to go see her again...he was asking her for her phone number so he could call her....

...

...

Him: Oh that was Jeron's girlfriend! Jeron, his girlfriend, and Ian came over to my dad's house that weekend and they all spent a night at my dad's house! You can ask my dad if you don't believe it!

So I suppose that person that he was talking with was actually Jeron??

...

Having been in a similar situation years ago I am very sorry for your feelings of concern. Things like this are very hard to understand. From what you wrote at first and what you wrote he said it doesn't make a whole lot of sense; "fun with her", "go see her" and "call her" doesn't sound like he was talking to Jeron.

Please be careful, not only for your personal safety, for what happens when trust comes under scrutiny.

• If he is behaving inappropriately, he will probably spin it around into how you are doing something wrong by not trusting him.
  
  
• If he is not behaving inappropriately, you will probably damage your relationship by showing that you do not trust him.
  
  

My suggestion is if you know what you read is 100% true and he is lying then call him on it and deal with the fall out.

If you believe his explanation then accept it and leave it behind you.

Please consider the wishy-washy middle ground of constant suspicion and worry as a very unpleasant way of life.

Take Care and Good Luck.

[rebeccajo 14]

Why is there something about this that smells really funny to me?

I presume he gets home from work before you (from the way you relayed your story). I presume you also left his email open this morning. So he had time to come home, discover his 'mistake', and cook up a story.

I say if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's probably a duck.

And in my opinion, his goose is cooked.

Please consider the wishy-washy middle ground of constant suspicion and worry as a very unpleasant way of life.

Oh man. No truer words were ever spoken.

[KaiserD 12]

While going through this thread I was thinking "if you confront him, he will just deny it and implicitly make it look like her fault for not trusting him"

I saw how this reversal kind of behavior made my mother doubt herself, she really thought she was going a bit crazy (this went on a long time)...eventually all the worry and stress made her seriously ill; together we broke out of the cycle and got away to safety!

I agree with Rebecca...I think he cooked up his response even as he was meeting her. When the lies start to catch up i.e - "I thought you said you were with ___ that day" and he can't think of a response, then he will probably get aggressive...

I really hope we are wrong, and this is all a misunderstanding. You are/have been willing to work with him to change his behavior for the positive, not many people are willing to do this (I wouldn't be) he would be an idiot to throw it away.

Lots of people here who listen, if you ever need to talk, feel free to pm any time. I know this is super cheesy but do what your heart tells you to do, trust your instincts!

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

I think she was right to read his email. I read my husband's boring emails whenever I want. He doesn't care.

Edited July 5, 2007 by jane2005

[deemabrouk 0]

I would pack up my belongings AND cats and leave!!!

I'd do the opposite........his stuff would be packed (or thrown...however you want to state it) on the lawn and the locks changed by the time he got home from work.

My ex came home to find all his belongings in a pile on the lawn.

haha ME TOO!!

But I put it in trash bags.......

[Ban Hammer 14,105]

I would pack up my belongings AND cats and leave!!!

I'd do the opposite........his stuff would be packed (or thrown...however you want to state it) on the lawn and the locks changed by the time he got home from work.

My ex came home to find all his belongings in a pile on the lawn.

haha ME TOO!!

But I put it in trash bags.......

used prior to such?

[wong_watkins 1]

Of course he denied it and instead he thinks I'm being stupid for even asking him those questions.

But what really bugs me is he was going to call her. And she left comments asking him for his work schedule so she can find a good time to call him and get a hold of him.

[wong_watkins 1]

I also sent that b!tch a message asking her who she was and what did she do with my husband while I was gone...Omg I feel like I'm going crazy!!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I also sent that b!tch a message asking her who she was and what did she do with my husband while I was gone...Omg I feel like I'm going crazy!!

I'm not sure if that was a good idea. If he is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. I'd take his word for it earlier until you have convincing evidence that he hasn't been honest about who this girl is.

[rebeccajo 14]

I also sent that b!tch a message asking her who she was and what did she do with my husband while I was gone...Omg I feel like I'm going crazy!!

I'm not sure if that was a good idea. If he is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. I'd take his word for it earlier until you have convincing evidence that he hasn't been honest about who this girl is.

wong, I think it'd be a good idea to take the advice of a previous poster here and contact the shelter.

Seriously. If you are this upset, and then he gets upset.....well, spontaneous combustion will lead to a disastrous result.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

I also sent that b!tch a message asking her who she was and what did she do with my husband while I was gone...Omg I feel like I'm going crazy!!

I'm not sure if that was a good idea. If he is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. I'd take his word for it earlier until you have convincing evidence that he hasn't been honest about who this girl is.

You think soliciting a friend's girlfriend's phone number is acceptable behavior for a guy?

[no name 1]

The OP said earlier she didn't trust him. She confronts him & accepts his apology. Now she doubts it & confrotns the girl!

Edited July 6, 2007 by devilette

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I also sent that b!tch a message asking her who she was and what did she do with my husband while I was gone...Omg I feel like I'm going crazy!!

I'm not sure if that was a good idea. If he is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. I'd take his word for it earlier until you have convincing evidence that he hasn't been honest about who this girl is.

You think soliciting a friend's girlfriend's phone number is acceptable behavior for a guy?

It is odd, but without knowing all the circumstances or how he's been behaving otherwise, I'd be hesitant to draw any definite conclusions. Emailing the girl may only create more problems. It's a sucky situation no matter what she does.

The OP said earlier she didn't trust him. She confronts him & accepts his apology. Now she doubts it & confrotns the girl!

Exactly!

[Ban Hammer 14,105]

I also sent that b!tch a message asking her who she was and what did she do with my husband while I was gone...Omg I feel like I'm going crazy!!

I'm not sure if that was a good idea. If he is going to cheat, he's going to cheat. I'd take his word for it earlier until you have convincing evidence that he hasn't been honest about who this girl is.

You think soliciting a friend's girlfriend's phone number is acceptable behavior for a guy?

i have to wonder what the b/f of that girl would think about all of this