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Hi VJ 

I have read on many occasions that others have written "If you relationship is real/bonafide you won't have any problems." I have to disagree with that.  I feel like people offer false reassurance by saying this. Yes, I have some red flags which is age based and I am older than my husband (12 years) and I am divorced and he was never married.  Both being non-traditional in the Indian culture. We applied and interviewed for a K-1 and were denied. We applied for an I 130, had the interview which I attended last year and we supplied them with the additional information and our case was eventually  returned to NVC and  then USCIS. We have had multiple visits in the last 3 years (5 and the 6th is planned).  I have a bonafide relationship and have hit roadblock after roadblock.  Our relationship is bonafide. We do have patience and trust God will bring us together at the perfect time.

My question is why is it that a non-traditional relationship is scrutinized so much and perceived differently even when there is a great amount of supporting evidence for the relationship? 

Thanks for your input :) 


  (L)(L) Our Story (L) (L)

         11.11.2015 Met
(L)04.25.2017 Married(L)
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I would imagine one reason is that the rate of divorce cases, fraud, and public charge cases increases significantly when people marry without actually spending much time together.  It may work out ok in your culture, but generally in American culture when people rush to get married, the rate of a failed marriage is significantly higher than a couple that spent months and especially years together before marriage.

 

In American culture, people wait longer to marry, and even longer to have kids, and the judgments the government makes on you is based off evidence of what fits a bona fide relationship, but I imagine some of our cultural norms influence their decision, but by how much, who knows.

 

There's such a variety of factors, but the cultural norms of India are quite different than the western world, and even compared to most Asian countries like China and Japan which are now closer to the western norms than they were in the past.


DCF CR1 filing in Guangzhou, China:

Married - 2018-09-25

I-30 submitted at Guangzhou office - 2019-06-17
I-130 approved - 2019-06-18
DS-260 Instructions Received, waiting to submit...

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3 minutes ago, givionte said:

I would imagine one reason is that the rate of divorce cases, fraud, and public charge cases increases significantly when people marry without actually spending much time together.  It may work out ok in your culture, but generally in American culture when people rush to get married, the rate of a failed marriage is significantly higher than a couple that spent months and especially years together before marriage.

 

In American culture, people wait longer to marry, and even longer to have kids, and the judgments the government makes on you is based off evidence of what fits a bona fide relationship, but I imagine some of our cultural norms influence their decision, but by how much, who knows.

 

There's such a variety of factors, but the cultural norms of India are quite different than the western world, and even compared to most Asian countries like China and Japan which are now closer to the western norms than they were in the past.

It certainly isn't that we rushed into marriage, we had been together 1.5 years before marriage and now married 2+ years and together a little more than 3.5 years. 

Isn't it true that sometimes people live outside the box (of norms). How do you prove that? I almost feel like that is almost prejudicial. I am not assuming that is the reason we are taking the long way down the immigration highway.  My hubby is far from the typical Indian man.  He has a completely different view on life and how he chooses to live it.

Thanks for your thoughts on this!


  (L)(L) Our Story (L) (L)

         11.11.2015 Met
(L)04.25.2017 Married(L)
       (L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
 

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1 minute ago, *BestDayEver0425* said:

Isn't it true that sometimes people live outside the box (of norms). How do you prove that?

Primarily through time spent together.

Five visits usually doesn't raise too much attention (assuming they are a week or so each), although over 3 years is also not fantastic. And I get that....time off work, finances, etc. are not easy. My now-wife is from the Philippines, and lived in Saudi where I couldn't visit her there (no tourist visas at the time).

But that's the reality of it....enough time spent together overcomes pretty much any red flag. There are occurrences of people moving abroad and living together for several months (or longer) before refiling.


Timelines:

Spoiler

AOS (I-485 + I-131 + I-765):

9/25/17: sent forms to Chicago

9/27/17: received by USCIS

10/4/17: NOA1 electronic notification received

10/10/17: NOA1 hard copy received. Social Security card being issued in married name (3rd attempt!)

10/14/17: Biometrics appointment notice received

10/25/17: Biometrics

1/2/18: EAD + AP approved (no website update)

1/5/18: EAD + AP mailed

1/8/18: EAD + AP approval notice hardcopies received

1/10/18: EAD + AP received

9/5/18: Interview scheduled notice

10/17/18: Interview

10/24/18: Green card produced notice

10/25/18: Formal approval

10/31/18: Green card received

 

K-1:

Spoiler

I-129F

12/1/17: sent

12/14/17: NOA1 hard copy received

3/10/17: RFE (IMB verification)

3/22/17: RFE response received

3/24/17: Approved!

3/30/17: NOA2 hard copy received

 

NVC

4/6/2017: Received

4/12/2017: Sent to Riyadh embassy

4/16/2017: Case received at Riyadh embassy

4/21/2017: Request case transfer to Manila, approved 4/24/2017

 

K-1

5/1/2017: Case received by Manila (1 week embassy transfer??? Lucky~)

7/13/2017: Interview: APPROVED!!!

7/19/2017: Visa in hand

8/15/2017: POE

 

 

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1 minute ago, geowrian said:

Primarily through time spent together.

Five visits usually doesn't raise too much attention (assuming they are a week or so each), although over 3 years is also not fantastic. And I get that....time off work, finances, etc. are not easy. My now-wife is from the Philippines, and lived in Saudi where I couldn't visit her there (no tourist visas at the time).

But that's the reality of it....enough time spent together overcomes pretty much any red flag. There are occurrences of people moving abroad and living together for several months (or longer) before refiling.

Staying for an extended period has certainly been a consideration for us because we really miss each other. I have to tidy up some things here and be sure that financially we can make it happen.  Financially India and the US are on different planes. This next trip planned will be for a month so hopefully this will help us along for now.

Thanks for sharing.


  (L)(L) Our Story (L) (L)

         11.11.2015 Met
(L)04.25.2017 Married(L)
       (L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
 

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@*BestDayEver0425* Hang in there! Eventually things will work itself out.

 

It is already mentioned, but there is no stronger evidence than face to face meetings/staying together. Just try to stay positive and the VJ Family is right here by your side! 

 

What step of the process are you in? Administrative Processing? 

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7 hours ago, Vik1992 said:

@*BestDayEver0425* Hang in there! Eventually things will work itself out.

 

It is already mentioned, but there is no stronger evidence than face to face meetings/staying together. Just try to stay positive and the VJ Family is right here by your side! 

 

What step of the process are you in? Administrative Processing? 

Unfortunately the case was returned to USCIS and we are waiting to see if is reaffirmed or a NOIR will be sent.


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         11.11.2015 Met
(L)04.25.2017 Married(L)
       (L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
 

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My husband and I have a 27 year age gap and a relatively short long-distance relationship, so I was very concerned that our marriage would not be considered bona fide.  Plus he's from Brazil so I was worried that our case would be scrutinized every step of the way.  We were prepared for a denial with a plan B that I would move to Brazil.  Surprisingly, everything went very smoothly, the process was 11 months from filing the I-130 petition to CR-1 visa received in hand, most likely because of the many trips to be together (9) and all the evidence we submitted, described below.

 

Here's what we sent with the I-130 petition:

 

a few photos of each visit together, date stamped, from multiple visits over time (4 before filing petition)

four or five photos from the wedding, date stamped, some with family and friends

passport stamps, boarding passes, hotel receipts, restaurant receipts as evidence of these 4 visits

joint credit card account statements showing that we are already co-mingling finances

documents showing my Brazilian husband as my beneficiary on life insurance, retirement accounts, investment accounts

evidence of my husband's health insurance, dental insurance based on my US employer's plan

evidence of my husband as my emergency contact at work, statement that he is my husband on employer's HR website

wills and living wills

Christmas cards addressed to both of us at my US address

copies of cards and letters we have exchanged since the beginning of our relationship

wedding ring receipts

email logs, phone call logs, video call logs to show continuous daily communication

representative chat records (only a few pages of sample chats) from WhatsApp, Messenger

printout of our Facebook relationship with a few photos, comments from friends and family, words of congratulations on wedding day

affidavits from family members attesting to the nature of our relationship

brief statement of relationship history, how we met, how the relationship developed over time

 

We uploaded additional evidence of three more visits since filing the petition, at the NVC stage, and took more evidence from our 11-day trip to London and Paris together in April to the June 12 interview, but the CO did not even ask for it.  The interview was very quick and she said we were approved.  It was obvious from the questions that she had pretty much decided to approve the visa before the interview.  Two days later the visa was sent to my husband, and he received it a week after the interview.

 

I think the lesson learned from our case is that any relationship with red flags like an age gap or quick marriage after meeting (we married on my fourth trip to Brazil) can be overcome with time spent together and lots of evidence to support the relationship as bona fide.  Good luck!

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2 minutes ago, carmel34 said:

My husband and I have a 27 year age gap and a relatively short long-distance relationship, so I was very concerned that our marriage would not be considered bona fide.  Plus he's from Brazil so I was worried that our case would be scrutinized every step of the way.  We were prepared for a denial with a plan B that I would move to Brazil.  Surprisingly, everything went very smoothly, the process was 11 months from filing the I-130 petition to CR-1 visa received in hand, most likely because of the many trips to be together (9) and all the evidence we submitted, described below.

 

Here's what we sent with the I-130 petition:

 

a few photos of each visit together, date stamped, from multiple visits over time (4 before filing petition)

four or five photos from the wedding, date stamped, some with family and friends

passport stamps, boarding passes, hotel receipts, restaurant receipts as evidence of these 4 visits

joint credit card account statements showing that we are already co-mingling finances

documents showing my Brazilian husband as my beneficiary on life insurance, retirement accounts, investment accounts

evidence of my husband's health insurance, dental insurance based on my US employer's plan

evidence of my husband as my emergency contact at work, statement that he is my husband on employer's HR website

wills and living wills

Christmas cards addressed to both of us at my US address

copies of cards and letters we have exchanged since the beginning of our relationship

wedding ring receipts

email logs, phone call logs, video call logs to show continuous daily communication

representative chat records (only a few pages of sample chats) from WhatsApp, Messenger

printout of our Facebook relationship with a few photos, comments from friends and family, words of congratulations on wedding day

affidavits from family members attesting to the nature of our relationship

brief statement of relationship history, how we met, how the relationship developed over time

 

We uploaded additional evidence of three more visits since filing the petition, at the NVC stage, and took more evidence from our 11-day trip to London and Paris together in April to the June 12 interview, but the CO did not even ask for it.  The interview was very quick and she said we were approved.  It was obvious from the questions that she had pretty much decided to approve the visa before the interview.  Two days later the visa was sent to my husband, and he received it a week after the interview.

 

I think the lesson learned from our case is that any relationship with red flags like an age gap or quick marriage after meeting (we married on my fourth trip to Brazil) can be overcome with time spent together and lots of evidence to support the relationship as bona fide.  Good luck!

Thanks for the input.  I understand exactly what you are saying.......If you can imagine I have provided all of that + the additional they requested such as wedding guests with names, phone #'s and addresses, and it was still sent back to USCIS, I was even there at the interview, and we never in a 1000 years thought that he wouldn't come home with me on that trip.

I feel like when others tell people (not you) if it is real you won't have any problems. What they should share is what you have said  ...... "any relationship with red flags like an age gap or quick marriage after meeting can be overcome with time spent together and lots of evidence as bona fide" :)


  (L)(L) Our Story (L) (L)

         11.11.2015 Met
(L)04.25.2017 Married(L)
       (L)(L)(L)(L)(L)
 

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