Be Careful

[AdilGina 1]

My ex-husband is from Morocco.  We met in September of 2013.  We married in September of 2014. I thought he was the love of my life.  We went through the K1 and Cr1 visa processes.   He finally came to the US in November of 2015.  By July of 2015 he had moved out. When he first came here he refused to find a job even though we were struggling financially. I had taken on more than $25,000 in debt between the visa fees, helping his family and his personal demands.  Gym memberships, new name brand clothes, expensive glasses.  He wanted everything and had to have the best.  I finally was able to find him a job. Once he had the job and his green card he became more verbally and physically abusive.  Everything he portrayed in the beginning was just lies. He just wanted to get to the US.  I found out he never even stopped being on dating websites.

 

Although the judge in our divorce ordered him to pay me for some of it, he only has to in small amounts monthly.  I am facing losing my house because I don’t have enough money coming in to pay my mortgage and the rest of the debt.

 

I sincerely hope for the best for everyone here.  But beware of the users.  There were signs early on that I closed my eyes to because I believed him and thought he loved me.  

[T_P 872]

25 minutes ago, AdilGina said:

My ex-husband is from Morocco.  We met in September of 2013.  We married in September of 2014. I thought he was the love of my life.  We went through the K1 and Cr1 visa processes.   He finally came to the US in November of 2015.  By July of 2015 he had moved out. When he first came here he refused to find a job even though we were struggling financially. I had taken on more than $25,000 in debt between the visa fees, helping his family and his personal demands.  Gym memberships, new name brand clothes, expensive glasses.  He wanted everything and had to have the best.  I finally was able to find him a job. Once he had the job and his green card he became more verbally and physically abusive.  Everything he portrayed in the beginning was just lies. He just wanted to get to the US.  I found out he never even stopped being on dating websites.

 

Although the judge in our divorce ordered him to pay me for some of it, he only has to in small amounts monthly.  I am facing losing my house because I don’t have enough money coming in to pay my mortgage and the rest of the debt.

 

I sincerely hope for the best for everyone here.  But beware of the users.  There were signs early on that I closed my eyes to because I believed him and thought he loved me.  

This is so sad. I hope you are able to overcome this situation. It is unfortunate and horrible how so people can act like that, selfish pretending and trick others. All my positive thoughts to you and wishing you all the best. 

[AdilGina 1]

25 minutes ago, T_P said:

This is so sad. I hope you are able to overcome this situation. It is unfortunate and horrible how so people can act like that, selfish pretending and trick others. All my positive thoughts to you and wishing you all the best. 

Thank you.  It has been a struggle. I try daily to get past it.  

[AdilGina 1]

54 minutes ago, AdilGina said:

My ex-husband is from Morocco.  We met in September of 2013.  We married in September of 2014. I thought he was the love of my life.  We went through the K1 and Cr1 visa processes.   He finally came to the US in November of 2015.  By July of 2015 he had moved out. When he first came here he refused to find a job even though we were struggling financially. I had taken on more than $25,000 in debt between the visa fees, helping his family and his personal demands.  Gym memberships, new name brand clothes, expensive glasses.  He wanted everything and had to have the best.  I finally was able to find him a job. Once he had the job and his green card he became more verbally and physically abusive.  Everything he portrayed in the beginning was just lies. He just wanted to get to the US.  I found out he never even stopped being on dating websites.

 

Although the judge in our divorce ordered him to pay me for some of it, he only has to in small amounts monthly.  I am facing losing my house because I don’t have enough money coming in to pay my mortgage and the rest of the debt.

 

I sincerely hope for the best for everyone here.  But beware of the users.  There were signs early on that I closed my eyes to because I believed him and thought he loved me.  

Correction - he moved out July 1 of 2016, less than 7 months after arriving in the US. 

[Ayoub 7]

Hi friend...dont ever forget that there is God and he's watching everyone's attention and faith...leave it for God he's gonna take care of this, pray and be strong. Life is a school so from the begining by seeing him tginking jist about himself it would show you how not responsible he's...be with a man faithful and someone who see the future with you (having your house together, traveling, loving each other, making money together) not someone who thinks just about gym and cloths (it shows you basicly he's not a man).

Stay positive mate and pray, God is great God is good 🙏

[Ontarkie 13,918]

~~Moved to the Regional forum, from Off Topic - Even though this applies to many not just Morocco, it is best suited in the Regional forum.~~

[AdilGina 1]

31 minutes ago, Ayoub said:

Hi friend...dont ever forget that there is God and he's watching everyone's attention and faith...leave it for God he's gonna take care of this, pray and be strong. Life is a school so from the begining by seeing him tginking jist about himself it would show you how not responsible he's...be with a man faithful and someone who see the future with you (having your house together, traveling, loving each other, making money together) not someone who thinks just about gym and cloths (it shows you basicly he's not a man).

Stay positive mate and pray, God is great God is good 🙏

Thank you so much for your kind words. You are so right - God is so good and he sees all.  You gave me hope today,  thank you.  

[Love_Bug 95]

be strong. i know we can only supply with temporary feel good words of encouragement but I truly hope your situation gets better with time and you find peace and calmness. This is quite upsetting  if he was able to be on dating websites during your whole process and even after, how was that overlooked by some of our finest FBI and security monitors  too bad they didnt catch that early on and just deny the file to spare you all this heartache. Karma has a way to come around to those who do this to others. He may think he won by using someone to come here, but I assure you he's gonna be faced with something far worse in his path. Hugs sister! You will get stronger from this. And your more wiser 

[A Midsummer's Day 0]

Hi AdilGina, in your post you mentioned that there were warning signs you overlooked. Could you speak on those warning signs a bit? 

[Tierra 3]

I’m so very sorry. My heart aches for you. We give so much of ourselves, our heart, our body, our time and our money because we want the same from someone who claims to love us just the same! “Justice is Mine,” says the Lord.” I hope that he reaps what he sows in FULL. Keep your head up sis. My love and prayers your way. 

Edited July 6, 2018 by Tierra

[AdilGina 1]

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I have good days and bad days.  But thankfully there are more good days as time passes.  I’m trying not to be bitter and angry because I know it only hurts me.  The last thing I know I need to let go of is wanting him to realize and admit what he did wrong.  I don't think it will ever happen and since I have no contact with him now I would never see it anyway.  

[AdilGina 1]

http://www.visajourney.com/profile/301578-a-midsummers-day/ - There were so many signs.  He was very nice and attentive in the beginning.  Saying all the right things you want to hear.  How wonderful I was, love of his life, how desperately he wanted to be with me.  He used to say I was “his queen”. It was too much really, now that I look back.  He would call several times daily, wanted to stay on the phone for hours.  I thought, he must really love me.  But it was actually just to isolate me from my friends and family who tried to talk sense into me.  Once we were married, even before he came to the US it slowly started to change.  He became more angry, insulting and being critical about me.  If I confronted him about it he would say it was because he wanted to be with me so much and was frustrated.  I should have walked away with the first insult - he called me a #######,  

 

The minute he stepped off the plane from Morocco he was different.  We had not seen each other in person for over a year.  He walked right past me without a hug or a kiss.  He continued to pull away, small things every day.  He had promised to get a job as soon as he could.  But instead he started demanding things, clothes gym membership, cell phone, two new pair of designer glasses, etc.  When he realized some of the clothes I bought him were from Marshall’s (not a high end retailer) he refused to wear them even though they were name brand, they were not bought at the mall so he got mad and wouldn’t wear them. 

 

He he was very secretive.  He would stay up all night on the internet, later I found out he was on dating sites. 

 

I finally told him I could not continue to send money back to his family any more.  I had gone from zero credit card debt to over $18,000 with all the expenses related to the visa, supporting his family and his demands.  I helped him get a job through people I knew.  He started sending his family $1000 a month (they had lived on his father’s income of $200 a month), but not helping with our bills.  I later learned his plan all along was to let me pay our bills and support him completely here in the US while he sent all his money back to Morocco to buy a house then go back there.  

 

I borrowed from my retirement to be able to bring him here.  The loan payment was $960 a month. From the very beginning he promised to pay back all the money it took to bring him here.  This put me further behind because I couldn’t cover monthly bills. I still may lose my house. 

 

Once he got his job he started talking about moving out.  But he wanted me to let him live with me, in the spare room, until he saved some money.  Durning that time he said he wasn’t paying anything back.  That’s when I fully realized what a fool I was.  

[AdilGina 1]

One more update.  A woman who met him through his job told me he scammed her out of money also.  They stated talking (while we were still married, but after he moved out).  He was very attentive and flattering to her.  After just a couple of months he told her his “business partner” had frozen his accounts. He said a family member was very sick and he needed to return to Morocco.  She loaned him thousands of dollars in several different transfers because his story kept changing.  He never went back to Morocco, I confirmed with his work.  He never paid her back.