Maine: THe Way Life Should Be

[ChristinaM 0]

I apologise for the length of this, because I wrote it for another site. However, it's been a long week and I can't be bothered to write another version.

****

I have a bullet hole in my kitchen floor.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

Last Tuesday night, my husband and I went to bed just like we usually do, turned out the light and went to sleep. On Wednesday morning, I discovered a large hole in my kitchen cabinet. Wood all over the place, the side of the cabinet peeling away.

Being the good wife I am, I ignored it and went to work.

My husband called me on his way to the office.

"Did you notice anything, erm... odd in the kitchen this morning?"

"Like the large hole in the cabinet, you mean?"

"Yep. That would be the one."

I called the landlord, not wanting to lose our security deposit over a hole we didn't cause. He came over that afternoon, and we hypothesised about where it had come from. Our best guess was that the upstairs tenants had been trying to pull a fast one with the cable; they'd tried to pull a cable through the wall, but had somehow misjudged the drilling. They - of course - denied all knowledge, so we had no choice but to let it go.

The week passed by uneventfully, although we were still puzzled by the mystery hole. Until Sunday. Sunday is housekeeping day in my house - it's the day I realise I have no clean underwear and I can't see what colour the floor is. Whilst cleaning the kitchen floor, Mr. Stin noticed the hole.

"Christina, that's a hole."

"You're joking me. It's a dent."

"No, really."

So we dug out the only thing with a long, thin probe; the meat thermometer. Worryingly, it went into the "dent". And kept going.

Being a gun owner, my other half is familiar with the appearance of bullet holes. Me, being a nice, naïve British export, am not. So being the pair of complete morons we are, the next thing we did was to wander downstairs and bang on our neighbours door. We only wanted to know if he could shed any light on the matter, but in hindsight it's a damn good job he wasn't home.

Now I'm not big on gun etiquette, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to shoot holes in your other peoples' floors. As much as I like the guy who lived downstairs, that's just not cool. Not really knowing what we should do, but feeling like we should report it to somebody, we called the police. Not in a 911-"Oh My GOD I Have A Bullet Hole, COME SAVE ME!" way, but in a "I'm not sure if you should be dealing with this, but I don't want to be" kind of way.

To their credit, the police were very good. The first officer was there within 5 minutes. He shone his flashlight at the hole on the floor, then at the hole in the cabinet. "Odd," he said. When the second officer arrived, he did the same thing. They called the sergeant. He shone his flashlight at both holes, and called the evidence technician.

I've never seen CSI on the television, but I have seen it in my kitchen. When they send an evidence tech, he doesn't turn up in a little sedan. He turns up in a box truck, plastered with "Portland Police Dept. Crime Scene Unit" on the sides. At this point we have two officers, one sergeant and an evidence tech in the kitchen, trajectory rods poked in holes, crowbar damage to the cabinet and footprints on the worksurfaces. (Apparently the bullet is lodged somewhere between the cabinet and the exterior wall, and to get it our requires a large saw of some kind. They kindly declined from chopping holes through to the outside world.)

After they left, we emailed the landlord. We thought it was only fair.

Monday morning, I got the call from the landlord. A cheerful man, as you can imagine. Lunchtime, I got the call from the detective. I asked him whether or not it was safe for me to go home after work. "I don't know yet," was his reply. I didn't feel very comforted. We got a room for Monday night, after the detective called back to tell us that our neighbour had several weapons, a large amount of ammo and enough drugs to get the entire block messy for a week down there. The gang affiliations didn't exactly add peace of mind to the equation either.

Although the damn fruitloop's been arrested, we're moving house. Soon. Very soon. The most ridiculous thing is that we live on a nice street, in a nice part of town. Whooda thunk it?!

And they say that the only things we have in Maine are potatoes and lobster.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Oh my gosh, Christina! I think I would get the heck out of there, too. You never know if someone will be looking for the guy, like say, if he ripped anyone off or sold some bad stuff. And maybe they will forget he lived upstairs and target your place. Really, who would have guessed this dude was a real criminal in such a nice neighbourhood!

[Otto 83]

And a "For Rent" Sign going up in the yard soon I imagine... that's crazy...

[GrenadianCrix 2]

um...that's scary.

what a crazy experience!

I'm from Portland too, living away for couple years right now. I'll be coming back to Maine in September. That is crazy...it sounds like you aren't even living in the crack-iest part of Munjoy hill. What part of town are you in? Gosh I can only imagine how weird that is to deal with in Maine!

I hope things get straightened out for you. I always loved living in the West End...Hopefully that hasn't turned into Gang Central. Maybe it's time to move out to Woodfords.

Good Luck

Sue

[ChristinaM 0]

You know, I used to live up on op of Munjoy Hill, and it was great. I live over in Woodfords right now (within walking distance of the Great Lost Bear!), and I was so surprised that this happened.

As I understand it, the West End's still ok; expensive and bad for parking, but that's no different from any other time in history I dare say!!

I will be glad when we get the heck out though. The apartment doesn't feel so much like home anymore.

[Mags 112]

Wow, just...wow. He sounds like one scary fella, wishing you both luck with the move.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

interesting story. mmmm lobster

[mawilson 2,133]

What a story! Thanks for sharing, Christina!

[Ban Hammer 14,291]

just wow

[Lou Lou 1]

Wow. I've spent a lot of time working in Portland -- I love it!

[Robor007 0]

Wow, that is one wild experience. I'm glad you're both safe. Good idea on moving.

[GrenadianCrix 2]

You know, I used to live up on op of Munjoy Hill, and it was great. I live over in Woodfords right now (within walking distance of the Great Lost Bear!), and I was so surprised that this happened.

As I understand it, the West End's still ok; expensive and bad for parking, but that's no different from any other time in history I dare say!!

I will be glad when we get the heck out though. The apartment doesn't feel so much like home anymore.

What!!! Nothing EVER happens in that part of town. That's very strange. Well it's good to know. It's a shame you have to move...it's always a nice treat to be able to just walk to the Great Lost Bear...good beer selection!

Good Luck in finding a place. I hope you don't end up moving during the storm that's headed your way.

I find there are a bunch of places in the west end that have off street parking. i always look for that 'cause I have been towed sooo many times. I used to live on Park Avenue too...right across from the Ball Park. It doesn't 'look' like the best neighborhood, but I loved living there (you need off-street parking there especially on ball game days). I felt pretty safe there too.

Let us know when you find a new apartment, we'll be breathing easier knowing you are out of the bullet ridden one.

Sue

[ChristinaM 0]

Just wanted to file an update -

My husband and I moved this weekend. We now have boxes everywhere, a bunch of half-assembled furniture and no idea where anything is, but on the bright side we don't have any bullet holes in the floor! Still have a couple of teething problems (like the fact that the temperature in the fridge is 57F and we lost $50 of food before we realised), but all things considered it's going as well as can be expected.

I will just be glad when Time Warner come and put the cable in!!

[Dan J 277]

I'm so glad that nothing bad happened to you and your husband !. May God always protect your family.

[mawilson 2,133]

I will just be glad when Time Warner come and put the cable in!!

They just might have to shoot a bullet through the floor to make a hole for the cable