i360 filing/ROC Can he do it?

[Kolewenoik31 57]

Well it's 3yrs down the line and I have asked this question from a couple people, but I guess my mind won't be at peace until a few more years have past and the full reality has settled in. I know many told me but I had hoped for the best. I found out that my husband has Narcissistic Personality Disorder {NPD}. All those years I knew something wasn't right but just couldn't put my finger on it. I had to put his cloths to the door in Nov. and let him make his choice. He didn't put up one fight to stay, it was if he had a plan already. I found homeless shelter numbers in his phone weeks before I decided to pack him up and put his things to the door. Because of all the chaos going on I initially thought he had them just in case we had to move from our house again. But it looks like if given the time he would have moved anyway. He snuck around so much behind my back, he lied, stole large sums of money from a ministry in Norway that he was to use for printing religious books. It was exhausting. I found a text message that was sent to baby's mama that said he loved, missed her and hoped to see her soon. He lied and said she was suing him 4 child support and he wanted to cool her down so he flattered her with that text. He complained about everything, he hates America and will go home. He has a job in our small town and has told people in our church that he is saving to go home. But I do have some questions and please be sensitive because I am in a healing process and can't take a lot of criticism. 1. His 2 year conditional green card will expire on the 25th, I know some have said he can file VAWA and ROC. But what are the chances in a weeks time? I have seen even where he has contacted a immigration agency that help people file. I know i360 says the person need a marriage or birth certificate. He doesn't have any of that I literally have everything in my possession. 2. In Dec. I made a info pass appt. and showed evidence where he was getting money from people and sending it to a bank account then rerouting it to this lady. Now yes he was to print religious books with it but he didn't. We had also got into a argument in 2015 and he in anger said he was done with me and only wanted to keep his immigration benefits and that it was all for that. I asked him to write that and sign it. He told me to write it and he will sign it so I did. I took that to them as well. I provided emails where he would pretend that this lady was his wife just to get money for some orphanage. A man even called to tell me that he met this lady and their child. I knew he was in a previous relationship but he convinced me that it was over, now years later she is still somewhat in the picture. I took them a stack of info on various things even him being on dating sites. Can I get any update from USCIS? I know they probably won't tell me anything. What should I do at this point....besides move on?     

[firebird00 66]

How did you find out that he has NPD? Are you a psychiatrist? or you read about it on Google and felt that it fits him? You put his clothes outside, what are you expecting him to beg to stay?

[Kastrs 723]

Divorce him and move on

[Georgia16 2,858]

He can file ROC on his own and he may already have done that without you knowing. He will file with a divorce waiver and he will have to show proof on a bona fide marriage if he has nothing then this might be very hard for him.

 

But really I know you don't want to hear this but there is really nothing you can do so try not to make all your time about him and this because it will take ALL of your energy for nothing. I wish you good luck.

[Kolewenoik31 57]

12 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

He can file ROC on his own and he may already have done that without you knowing. He will file with a divorce waiver and he will have to show proof on a bona fide marriage if he has nothing then this might be very hard for him.

 

But really I know you don't want to hear this but there is really nothing you can do so try not to make all your time about him and this because it will take ALL of your energy for nothing. I wish you good luck.

There is no divorce, we are still married. We haven't spoken in months and he will send an occasional text asking me if I am ok or wishing me well. It's not that I don't want to hear this I already know a lot and the end. What to do is kind of a rhetorical question. I was just wanting to hear from the latest news and from different people that have gone through this before.

[Georgia16 2,858]

Just now, Kolewenoik31 said:

There is no divorce, we are still married. We haven't spoken in months and he will send an occasional text asking me if I am ok or wishing me well. It's not that I don't want to hear this I already know a lot and the end. What to do is kind of a rhetorical question. I was just wanting to hear from the latest news and from different people that have gone through this before.

Well he can send it in and it takes about a year to get moving now so by the interview he will get a RFE for divorce or denied since you aren't there.

[Kolewenoik31 57]

2 minutes ago, Georgia16 said:

Well he can send it in and it takes about a year to get moving now so by the interview he will get a RFE for divorce or denied since you aren't there.

Well in our state you can't get divorced for 90 days. The i360 is taking a year to get moving? What supporting evidence will he have to support them granting him a 10 yr GC?

[Georgia16 2,858]

58 minutes ago, Kolewenoik31 said:

Well in our state you can't get divorced for 90 days. The i360 is taking a year to get moving? What supporting evidence will he have to support them granting him a 10 yr GC?

ROC is taking about a year. Evidence that the marriage was real. Bank statements, credit cards, medical insurance, car insurance, power of will, bills, pictures, and so on everything that can show both names that you lived together as husband and wife.

[Kolewenoik31 57]

7 hours ago, Georgia16 said:

ROC is taking about a year. Evidence that the marriage was real. Bank statements, credit cards, medical insurance, car insurance, power of will, bills, pictures, and so on everything that can show both names that you lived together as husband and wife.

Well he doesn't have any of that. I tried to get him to to co mingle all that stuff for immigration long time ago when he first entered the US but probably now I see it was a blessing in disguise because he's been gone from my home 3 months now. So now he will have to gather some other way of getting his 10 yr. I won't be filing anything at this point and his GC expires Sat. 

[mindthegap 2,590]

Please don't go throwing around terms such as NPD loosely.

I know that particular term is currently in vogue in the media and social media a lot with el presidente tRump and suspicions that he is a prime example of the condition, but it really isn't helpful to people with genuine mental health issues to throw such terms around loosely.

 

 

 

9 hours ago, Kolewenoik31 said:

 What should I do at this point....besides move on?     

 

See a therapist, file for divorce and get on with your life.

 

 

54 minutes ago, Kolewenoik31 said:

Well he doesn't have any of that. I tried to get him to to co mingle all that stuff for immigration long time ago when he first entered the US but probably now I see it was a blessing in disguise because he's been gone from my home 3 months now. So now he will have to gather some other way of getting his 10 yr. I won't be filing anything at this point and his GC expires Sat. 

You don't file anything in the first place. The sole responsibility to file the I-751 is the immigrant, whether as a solo filing or jointly. You have chosen not to help - not a problem and your absolute right.

However, once he files the I-751 (or has perhaps filed already for all you know), and finds out that if you won't assist (or appear at an interview) and he needs a divorce to be in progress or finalised or he gets rejected, I would wager that you will have some divorce papers drop in your mailbox soon after.

 

If you aren't together, helping, filing jointly, or prepared to provide any documents, honestly why do you care?

 

 

 

 

Regarding the possibility of him filing an I-360, you should be aware that threatening to remove or somehow use immigration benefits against an immigrant (for example 'do this or kiss goodbye to your greencard') can be classed as immigration-related abuse.....so your actions in reporting things to USCIS could be helpful should he wish to file an I-360, as it could perhaps be argued that you have demonstrated an intent to affect his immigration status as a result of the marriage breakdown. 

That you made an infopass appointment specifically to give information to USCIS implies that you have a wish for retribution or revenge, or to somehow affect his immigration status or get him removed. I don't know you from a hole in the ground and I am not accusing you of this whatsoever, but if I were in his situation, it is certainly an avenue I would explore further. Whether he actually will file an I-360 or just solo file the I-751 with a divorce waiver? Who knows. 

None of the things you reported to USCIS are deportable, and will more than likely have no effect on things, as you wouldn't be the first wronged or ex-spouse to do similar with USCIS, and you won't be the last.

 

 

 

Honestly, just forget about it and get on with your life.

It isn't your problem anymore.

 

 

[Loki_Go 126]

I'm sorry you went through this with someone like that. I went through something similar and I found people aren't very kind or empathetic when you're at your lowest. You really need to be strong and learn to help yourself. I'm sure you now this but you mentione he still sends you texts- the only thing you can do to further your healing is to go No Contact. That will make it hard for him to sweet talk the evidence he needs from you when he realizes he needs it. Don't give in. Go No Contact.

 

Again I'm so sorry. A person like that can really mess your head up. It took me almost a year and months of therapy to finally find myself again. I wish you the best.

 

[2far 185]

I am really sorry to see this update.  It sounds like you have been through so much drama and negativity.  I hope that you find peace in the near future.

 

Since he already has a 2-year green card, he does not need to file an I-360.  As others have stated he can file for the ROC on his own and probably already has since his GC is expiring within days.  You did a good thing by reporting your findings via an Infopass appointment.  If you have made it clear to USCIS that you do not support a joint filing of the ROC as your marriage is not in tact, then that is all that you can do.  He can seek to complete the ROC process with the divorce waiver, but it looks like he has very minimal evidence.

 

Try to find comfort in your friends and family.  The healing process may be long and unpleasant.  I wish you the very best.

[Kolewenoik31 57]

Look I wasn't going to address the NPD thing but I will this once. I DON'T LOOSELY THROW AROUND ANYTHING I know what hell I went through including all the counseling sessions that we attended. He has it! Now as far as me reporting him, I did and that is my right whether it's considered abuse or not, so be it. He used me, stole from me, and so many other people including ministries. Large sums of money not chump change. He diverted funds, scammed, lied. He is a monster, sinister. He told me he loves hurting people and taking their money because he's entitled to it because God said so he's a sick man. He is posing as a evangelist, using an orphanage as a way to funnel money. There are so many other things I could say but I will rest there. I even have a signed paper saying he only did it for immigration benefits. So please don't make him out to be a victim. Anyone that has been in a relationship with some one with NPD knows that 1. you don't need no doctor to diagnose it, nor 2. need to use it loosely. Why would I pay so much money, spend so many of my years and the years of my children opening up my heart, loving some one, supporting someone, just to abuse them. We in America have given these people to much freedom to cry abuse after they get here. We have paved a way for them to take advantage of us then the only consolation that we tell our fellow US citizen is divorce and move on?!?!? He stole my life and the life of my children. It's not that easy when you have strong biblical principles and marry til death. I know I might be the only Christian that still believes in the bible to the letter but I do so divorce is not an easy opt for me. He committed a crime. Have we forgot that the i864 I'm still on the hook for? Or the fact that the i130 is for the purpose of marrying a US citizen not for immigration but because of love this is not just a breakdown in marriage these are people who are targeting tenderhearted good people for the sake of selfish gain. Why are we allowing immigrants who don't obey the law of immigration to remain here. My paperwork like everyone else says......in order to be and LPR you have to have entered a marriage on "good faith," then it lists the items to be filed to show it. If a person has only been here xyz amount of months or years why do they have the ability to file anything? Why do they have any rights? Why are we shut out of the process to see their end? You didn't follow the rules. If I have a job description and I don't fulfill it, I get fired. So should be with filing to be a LPR. You violate....go home. I'm sorry but it's not fair!

[Georgia16 2,858]

3 minutes ago, Kolewenoik31 said:

Look I wasn't going to address the NPD thing but I will this once. I DON'T LOOSELY THROW AROUND ANYTHING I know what hell I went through including all the counseling sessions that we attended. He has it! Now as far as me reporting him, I did and that is my right whether it's considered abuse or not, so be it. He used me, stole from me, and so many other people including ministries. Large sums of money not chump change. He diverted funds, scammed, lied. He is a monster, sinister. He told me he loves hurting people and taking their money because he's entitled to it because God said so he's a sick man. He is posing as a evangelist, using an orphanage as a way to funnel money. There are so many other things I could say but I will rest there. I even have a signed paper saying he only did it for immigration benefits. So please don't make him out to be a victim. Anyone that has been in a relationship with some one with NPD knows that 1. you don't need no doctor to diagnose it, nor 2. need to use it loosely. Why would I pay so much money, spend so many of my years and the years of my children opening up my heart, loving some one, supporting someone, just to abuse them. We in America have given these people to much freedom to cry abuse after they get here. We have paved a way for them to take advantage of us then the only consolation that we tell our fellow US citizen is divorce and move on?!?!? He stole my life and the life of my children. It's not that easy when you have strong biblical principles and marry til death. I know I might be the only Christian that still believes in the bible to the letter but I do so divorce is not an easy opt for me. He committed a crime. Have we forgot that the i864 I'm still on the hook for? Or the fact that the i130 is for the purpose of marrying a US citizen not for immigration but because of love this is not just a breakdown in marriage these are people who are targeting tenderhearted good people for the sake of selfish gain. Why are we allowing immigrants who don't obey the law of immigration to remain here. My paperwork like everyone else says......in order to be and LPR you have to have entered a marriage on "good faith," then it lists the items to be filed to show it. If a person has only been here xyz amount of months or years why do they have the ability to file anything? Why do they have any rights? Why are we shut out of the process to see their end? You didn't follow the rules. If I have a job description and I don't fulfill it, I get fired. So should be with filing to be a LPR. You violate....go home. I'm sorry but it's not fair!

This irritate me a bit to be honest! .... We are immigrating to the country where our spouse lives this does not mean we are not human being that should not be treated right and also have rights and just be sent away as people like we have no rights. This is not a ownership visa of any kind.

 Like why would you even say that (the highlighted) 

[Kolewenoik31 57]

4 hours ago, Loki_Go said:

I'm sorry you went through this with someone like that. I went through something similar and I found people aren't very kind or empathetic when you're at your lowest. You really need to be strong and learn to help yourself. I'm sure you now this but you mentione he still sends you texts- the only thing you can do to further your healing is to go No Contact. That will make it hard for him to sweet talk the evidence he needs from you when he realizes he needs it. Don't give in. Go No Contact.

 

Again I'm so sorry. A person like that can really mess your head up. It took me almost a year and months of therapy to finally find myself again. I wish you the best.

 

 

1 hour ago, 2far said:

I am really sorry to see this update.  It sounds like you have been through so much drama and negativity.  I hope that you find peace in the near future.

 

Since he already has a 2-year green card, he does not need to file an I-360.  As others have stated he can file for the ROC on his own and probably already has since his GC is expiring within days.  You did a good thing by reporting your findings via an Infopass appointment.  If you have made it clear to USCIS that you do not support a joint filing of the ROC as your marriage is not in tact, then that is all that you can do.  He can seek to complete the ROC process with the divorce waiver, but it looks like he has very minimal evidence.

 

Try to find comfort in your friends and family.  The healing process may be long and unpleasant.  I wish you the very best.

Thank you ever so much.....my heart is in so much pain and yes my head is messed up. No one knows what I have been through and is going through accept those that have been there. I appreciate your empathy both of you! I won't pay for anything else not even a divorce. I'm tired and broke now. I have to rebuild what was taken. What makes it so bad is he used his influence in the church to gain my heart and I told him that if he didn't love me or was committed just leave me because I could only marry one more time. He knew all along that he had a agenda. And yes even know he's playing mind games even accusing me of wanting my ex. If he wants a divorce to ROC let him pay for it and gather any evidence that he needs. But I pray that the evidence that I gave will be enough to stop him. He left and says he's going home. So hopefully he will! Any other docs he needs good luck getting them. I will never stop exposing who he is, I don't want anyone else hurting the way I am right now by him. Sorry!