Unnatural

[rebeccajo 14]

I'm a big believer in positive thinking and being pro-active about taking control of one's life.

But this whole process is wearing on me the last few weeks. One stressor after another...first separation, then paperwork and interviews, flights, a wedding, more paperwork and another interview, Wes looking for work, health issues, a dying grandmother, a moody teenage son, irritable and nosy co-workers....blah blah blah.

Lately all I can see is gloom and doom. I have no energy yet I don't sleep. I have bags under my eyes the size of Lady Di's train case.

It's damn hard to take care of my man when I'm beginning to wonder what I brought him too in the first place. Londonderry is looking better and better to me all the time....

I'm in a bad, bad mood.........

[Carola 0]

Many people here are going to feel identify with you .... including me

[denali_1963 0]

i hear ya!!!!!!!!!!

[kc456 0]

Antidepressants?

[gimygirl 0]

i'm a firm believer in tackling one thing at a time. don't overwhelm yourself by looking at the 'picture' all at once.

we're all gonna have stressors in our life, becca ... it's life. put all the immigration stuff behind you: wes is here, AOS was passed and lifting conditions isn't for another 20 months.

like i said though, one thing at a time!! and of course, venting here is always a relief!!

*hugs to you*

[Nearly Done 8]

I can relate. I agree with Monique try and tackle one issue at a time. Try and think positive I know that is easier said than done.

Best wishes to you

[aussiewench 9]

Am sorry you are feeling blue becca. I wish there was something I could say to make it all better. This whole process from start to finish which doesn't just end on gaining the visa, puts a huge strain on inner resources. We have to dig deep to find it sometimes and sometimes its like going fishing and coming up empty. Somehow we make it through though. Hang in there girl. Am thinking of ya.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

*hugs* Becca. Don't know what else to say..we haven't argued at all since Craig got back and feel really lovey, but yesterday and today(nothing bad with US) reality reared it's ugly head again in the form of Craig not knowing if he can do this for all time or not, and Daryl being upset for 1/2 hr on the phone, and crying at school,etc...so our future is pretty up in the air too(as far as where we'll be etc) and very stressful. Sorry, didn't mean to turn that into us again, just saying...can def. relate on the stress front. Hope the tide starts turning for you really soon, and some good news comes along. Thinking of you...M.

[munchkins 1]

Feel for you Rebecca, I have been so down myself lately with this process and everyone on here as picked me up so many times and I am grateful.

You have always been so supportive of others on this site, so where better to come to when you are feeling so low yourself, loads of ****hugs**** to you and I hope that you start to feel much better about everything soon.

Keep your chin up Rebecca, it will all come right in the end and we are all here for you

[Jaylen Brit 1]

*hugs Bec*

Girl - you gotta give yourself a BREAK!

Lower your expectations with yourself - are you Superwoman able to carry the whole world on her shoulders? No

Nosy co-workers - tell em to f##k off (seriously - its empowering - and it feels good too )

Moody teenager: nothing you can do - hormone slave until he's older - ask for / demand civility and respect but expect nothing further

Dying relative: Allow yourself time to grieve - dont shut it out because you ahve a lot of other things to do - if you deny yourself time to feel then you will be hurting later

health issues: If they are yours Im not surprised - you are shouldering everything and worrying far too much - somethings gotta give. Tell the world to go away at least once a week and have me or us time. Relax.. let your body and mind take the night off.

Sleep issues - lavender oil and/or lemon grass oil on the pillow (NOT near your face - the oil can burn the skin) are very calming - also added to bath water. Try some deep breathing or yoga to clear your mind. Dont eat highly spiced foods (I dont know why this helps but it does! lol)

You can also try Valerian tablets which are herbal calmative.

All this will pass hun - just dont let it get you down too much

Many many best wishes and mojo!

[pax 1]

Awwwwwwww, Rebecca.

Well, you know I've wondered the same thing, as far as whether plucking my man out of bonny Scotland will be the right thing in the long run. I think the thing we both have to remember is that it's not going to be totally evident just yet; Wes has only been here for a few months and Ewen's not here at all, so we all have to try to live in the States for a while and assess how well it's working. I was saying to a co-worker of mine the other day who asked me something about this that every place has its own problems, really, and it just depends which basket of problems you'd prefer to have.

I've never closed myself off to the possibility of going to live in the UK for a time. I'm sure it would be scary for me, but not any more scary than coming over here is going to be for Ewen. Anything we need to do, we'll do it together. And I know that you and Wes know that, too.

Wes left NI to be with you, and that includes being with all your problems, your friends, your family, your fears and doubts and everything, and I'll bet if you ask him, he'll tell you he'd do it all over again. From what I know of Wes, he would not have expected to walk into a fantasy land where nothing ever goes wrong. Him moving here wasn't ever going to solve all your problems; you know that and so does he. It solves probably quite a few big ones, but not all of them. And he promised you to help you ride out all those other problems, and from what I know of Wes, that's a promise he takes seriously.

Be gentle with yourself and each other, and know that everyone here is rooting for you both. I know I am.

[rebeccajo 14]

Thanks everybody. I wonder if it's partly the winter weather........

Edited March 18, 2006 by rebeccajo

[ChristinaM 0]

Winter weather never helps. I think taking one thing at a time is good advice; if you look at the big picture it's hard not to be overwhelmed sometimes. I know that I can only deal on a short-term, narrow focus right now because otherwise I feel the same. I know that going back to the UK is not an option for Chris and I right now, so it's a case of making the best of what we have here - for the time being, at least. As Pax said, wherever you go there will be problems, it's just about choosing which set you'd prefer. I know the option to move to NI is a very real one for you two, and maybe it's worthy of serious consideration.

As everybody else, I'm thinking of you hon.

[chispas 0]

Hugs.

panamachic

[daisy16 1]

Lotsa hugs to you

Believe me I know it's hard. Baby steps. You can do it. You are such a beautiful, strong woman.