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Dan&Carol

abuse from USC wife

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Friends,

i have a general query

my USC wife and her parents have been mentally abusing me for last 7 months. I have tried to maintain calmness and coolness till now.

just came to know now that her mother didn't approve of marriage since am not from same caste and cultural from india.

my wife and her parents have been threatning that they will call police if I don't comply to there demands.

when I was waiting for my ead/gc they wanted me to work on my SSN, to which i objected that its not legal and they scared me to call police or men from there cultural background and beat me.

now i have moved out away from the parents but they are still interfering in my marriage.

I have tried to explain this to my wife but she still wants to listen to her parents. now her parents wants to get her marrired to somone from her caste.

How do I get out of this situation ?

they will most probably delay my ROC to get me out of the way ?

Can I still stay here if my wife never gets my ROC?

please let me know my options guys

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~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from Removal of Conditions - As similar topics are discussed here.~~


Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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What's your primary concern.. saving marriage, or saving green card?


USCIS

January 16, 2015 I-130 Mailed, Chi lockbox January 20, 2015 Priority Date, January 21, 2015 NOA1 notice date, Assigned VSC, January 23, 2015 Check Cashed, electronically March 5, 2015 NOA2

NVC

March 27, 2015 NVC received April 6, 2015 Case#, IIN# assigned April 8, 2015 Paid AOS + IV fee Invoices May 5, 2015 AOS + IV package submitted May 11, 2015 Scan Date

June 11, 2015 DS-260 submitted June 25, 2015 False checklist (for ds260).. hello? June 30, 2015 Answered checklist Aug 5, 2015 Escalated to Supervisor review Aug 13, 2015 Case Complete

Consular

Sept 10, 2015 Interview Scheduled Sept 11, 2015 P4 Letter received Sept 21, 2015 file In transit from NVC Sept 23, 2015 file at Embassy

Sept 28, 2015 Medical Oct 14, 2015 Biometrics Oct 15, 2015 Interview (Approved) Oct 19, 2015 IV visa Issued Oct 23, 2015 Passport Pickup

POE

Nov 2, 2015 Entered the US Nov 16, 2015 Applied for SSN, walk-in Nov 20, 2015 Social Security Card recd Jan 15, 2016 GC received

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If you already have your 2-year green card, you can apply for ROC without her. You still need to be able to prove that the marriage was bona fide, but you are the petitioner for ROC not her.

Good luck!


07/31/05 First met in Ft Lauderdale

06/26/13 DOMA overturned

07/16/13 Married in Rockville, Maryland

08/22/13 Day 0 Mailed AOS Package to Chicago Lockbox (I-130, I-485, I-765)

11/20/13 Day 90 AOS Interview completed - Approved!

09/01/15 Day 740 I-751 Mailed ROC packet to California Service Center

04/08/16 Day 960 I-751 RFE received - need to provide more evidence of financial commingling

05/03/16 Day 985 RFE response sent

06/07/16 Day 1020 I-751 approval notice received

06/16/16 Day 1029 10-year greencard received

11/16/16 Day 1182 Mailed N-400 citizenship application

08/21/17 Day 1460 Received alert that naturalization interview was scheduled

09/28/17 Day 1498 N-400 interview completed - Approved!

10/20/17 Day 1520 Oath ceremony finished - now a US Citizen

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What's your primary concern.. saving marriage, or saving green card?

Kieren,

I have tried everything from learning her culture and language.

take her out for long drives and restrautants every weekend.

when she demands sex give it to her.

wash her dirty clothes.

communicate openly to her after going through several online articles that most men struggle in this area.

she still wants to listen to her parents and let her control my family.

thank God that right around when I was waiting for my paperwork to be complete I gave interviews and got a job.

and the organization was ready to wait for me till i get my EAD in hand.

otherwise my meals were being counted daily.

i was disrespected and treated like a trash when there culture people would visit them.

and last week she went to her parents to see a guy whom her parents want her to marry since he is from same culture and caste(thats a big thing in india)

my friends informed me that the guy and her have been staying in same house with her parents.

honestly I don't trust her anymore after this. I came here for her. never looked at another woman God is my witness. but she kept walking over me.

am looking at this point to be prepared when she leaves me and goes away

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first off, call police for what? don't listen to their threats.

leave, divorce and roc on your own

honestly I didn't knew how they could manipulate and put me into trouble.

the mother and father would start howling and shouting in there cultural language.

the father would come to be in speak in broken english saying this is america. and we are US citizens and if we dial 911 police will come and put you in jail.

the mother would come and shout the same.

i was going through worst time in my life. when i got the job in diff state I just ran for my life and mental peace

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Kieren,

I have tried everything from learning her culture and language.

take her out for long drives and restrautants every weekend.

when she demands sex give it to her.

and last week she went to her parents to see a guy whom her parents want her to marry since he is from same culture and caste(thats a big thing in india)

my friends informed me that the guy and her have been staying in same house with her parents.

honestly I don't trust her anymore after this. I came here for her. never looked at another woman God is my witness. but she kept walking over me.

...... Snipped

Dude, really?

You don't need to post your private life here. You got enough good advice.

You don't need to tell all. This is not a marriage counseling site.

Good luck.

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Then divorce and move on.

Should have known the caste system issue problem long before going through with the marriage.

Can I still ROC if I give the divorce to her?

Merry, if I knew this is going to be a BIG PROBLEM I wouldn't have said yes in first place.

things were hidden from me and i was kept in dark from the beginning

the only reason I know my wife would go through this like bringing me here and all is to prove her mother that she won that part of battle.

and now parents want to get back at me through her and she doesn't realise that. sad

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Dude, really?

You don't need to post your private life here. You got enough good advice.

You don't need to tell all. This is not a marriage counseling site.

Good luck.

sorry guys to put you all through this.

you don't know the kind of mental stress I have gone through last 6-7 months.

and am really thankful for the good advice. i needed all help I could get at this point (you do hear my desperation)

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Can I still ROC if I give the divorce to her?

Merry, if I knew this is going to be a BIG PROBLEM I wouldn't have said yes in first place.

things were hidden from me and i was kept in dark from the beginning

the only reason I know my wife would go through this like bringing me here and all is to prove her mother that she won that part of battle.

and now parents want to get back at me through her and she doesn't realise that. sad

You can file ROC on your own with the divorce waiver.

Of course, you need to provide evidence of bona fide marriage like co-mingled finances.


Done with K1, AOS and ROC

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You can file ROC on your own with the divorce waiver.

Of course, you need to provide evidence of bona fide marriage like co-mingled finances.

what if she refuse to divorce me or accept the one I have given to her ?

we have an active joint account. does it count as evidence of co-mingled finances ?

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Dude, really?

You don't need to post your private life here. You got enough good advice.

You don't need to tell all. This is not a marriage counseling site.

Good luck.

Seriously you guys don't need to be rude.

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what if she refuse to divorce me or accept the one I have given to her ?

we have an active joint account. does it count as evidence of co-mingled finances ?

Do your research here:

http://www.courts.ca.gov/1033.htm

http://family-law.freeadvice.com/family-law/divorce_law/spouse-refuses-to-sign-divorce-papers.htm

You don't need her permission to file divorce papers.

However, she might put up a fight like asking for alimony .. etc

BONAFIDE EVIDENCE Example list for ROC

1. Evidence of Joint Ownership of Assets and Shared Financial Responsibility

Joint Federal / State Tax transcripts

Joint bank account statements

Proof of joint credit card use

Mortgage loan contract or lease contract with both partners names in it

Power of Attorney

Wills

Utility / Cable TV / Cell phone / Pets visit / Membership / Joint purchase bills

Life insurance policy showing spouse as beneficiary

Health insurance / Dental / Medical Bills

Car insurance

401(K) account information showing spouse as beneficiary

2. Photographic Evidence

Photos of you two together

Photos of you two with family (such as wedding, parties, kids graduation, etc.)

Photos of you two in various locations and times

3. Other Evidence in Support of Bona Fide Marriage

Birth certificates of any children born to you together

Sworn affidavits of friends and/or family

Letters/cards from friends and/or family

Vacation / honeymoon photos / Boarding Passes showing both of you travelling together

Hotel receipts with both your names

Other Misc receipts with both partners names in shipping/billing address

Joint Fishing or Hunting license

List spouse as each other emergency contact from employers


Done with K1, AOS and ROC

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